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I’d like to call myself a frequent flyer. I do it much less often than I used to, but I still fly about once every other month. When you’ve lived far away from your parents for years, flying is the safest way to get there. I even fly with a baby which, in some cases, is a passenger’s worst nightmare.

I’m here to tell you that my sweet, sometimes fussy, baby boy is much better behaved than some of the barbarians we encountered on our trip this week.

None of the things I’m about to tell you are new or unique to our trip to New York. In fact, we noticed it just as much when we landed in Columbia last night.

1. Trams. This is just like the elevator rule. If the elevator stops and you’re waiting to get on, stand away from the doors so that the people that are already on the elevator can step off. Are there really people that weren’t taught this? My parents used to pull us back away from the elevator doors so people could get off. Last night in Atlanta, we had 10 minutes to get from Concourse T to Concourse A and get on our plane and we couldn’t get off the cock-a-doo-dee tram because the people on the other side of the door were trying to push their way onto the tram. Of course, I asked them to move back and embarrassed TC, but seriously. Back up!

2. Baggage claim. Here’s the baggage claim rule: stand back away from the carousel. When you see your bag, you step up and get your bag off the carousel and step back again. At LaGuardia and at the Columbia airport, the vultures just crowded around the carousel. I guess they’re worried that five seconds may pass between the time they see their bag and actually pick up their bag, so they need to stand as close to the carousel as possible. We always stand back until we see our bags and then have to knock elbows with people to squeeze through the crowd to grab our bag. But we refuse to conform to the ways of the vultures that rush the carousel.

3. Carry-on luggage. I know it’s expensive to check bags now, but if you’re going to carry-on, make sure that you have your one bag and one personal item and nothing else. It is not acceptable to ask the nice man sitting next to you if you can store your brand new handbag (still in its box) under his seat because it won’t fit under yours.

Also- if you’re storing your luggage in the over-head bin, try to do it above your seat or in front of your seat– not behind. The deplaning process is seriously slowed down by those folks who have to walk toward the back of the plane to retrieve their bags.

Here’s a tip: travel light! Even when I travel alone with Hudson, I have two carry-on items: the diaper bag and Hudson. When it’s our turn to get up and get out of the seat, I pick him up and pick up the bag and we’re gone.

And when you’re wheeling your carry-on bag through the airport, be mindful of whose feet you’re rolling over. Pretty sure this doesn’t just apply to airports.

4. Be quick. Move along. Even Emily Post says, “When boarding, find your seat and sit down as quickly as possible so as not to keep those behind you waiting in the aisle.” Thank you, Emily. I love you.

And then at security, you know the drill. Take off your jacket and your shoes. Remove any metal from your pockets. If you think your belt will cause the alarm to go off, then take it off, too. Keep your boarding pass with you to pass through security. Let’s just get through it before my flight leaves!

5. Reclining. Is it really necessary? You gain about an inch or two by reclining, but the poor guy behind you. Your seat is now in his face.

6. Arm rests. This one is touchy, but I’m going to say it. I paid for my arm rest and my space between those two arm rests. So I’m going to put the arm rest down in order to designate my space. If you need for me to keep my arm rest up so you can fit into your seat, then you should probably pay for two seats. I’m not trying to sound intolerant because I’m not intolerant. But if I have to be trapped in a tiny space for two hours, I’d like to get all of the space I paid for and be as comfortable as possible.

And those are my tips on airport and airplane etiquette. Have I missed anything? What would you add?

I am the most tolerant person you’ll ever meet when it comes to babies; sleeping babies, screaming babies, happy babies. I like to offer to help the mothers if they’re traveling alone and understand that there’s not a whole lot the parents can do to help their child when they’re at 10,000 feet. But adults? Adults know better.

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Hudson's in the kitchen with Dinah

oh, the places we've been