It’s hard feeling displaced. Because of my dad’s jobs, we moved around a lot. South Louisiana to north Louisiana to Indiana and back to Louisiana for college. Then I came to South Carolina for graduate school. I am used to moving. I actually like moving.
My parents would probably be shocked to see those words because when we moved between my seventh and eighth grade years to Indiana, I’m pretty sure I acted like the world was ending. And at the time I thought it was. But all of those experiences were so great for me and I got used to doing something new every few years. It was always an adventure and I finally understood and believed that I could live anywhere and I could make friends where ever we went.
When I moved here to South Carolina, I never imagined that it would be a permanent move. But here I am, seven years later, and seven years is the longest I have ever lived anywhere. I lived in Baton Rouge from birth to seven years old. To me, seven years seems like a really long time to live in one spot.
But during those years, I started and finished graduate school. Almost all of my grad school friends left town, but I stayed. And then I met my husband the next year and a bar exam and a successful career keep him here, in his home town. He also went away to two great schools, but came back here because it was home.
There were some years of pent up resentment. Not toward anyone in particular, but I was feeling sorry for myself. My family isn’t here. My best friends from college aren’t here. But I’m here. In a place in my life where it’s awkward to try to make friends.
But after some time, prayer, lots of “putting myself out there”, and patience, I feel like I am home. I have some of the most amazing friends I could ask for here in this town. My husband has a wonderful career that makes him very happy. We will probably always live here. Sometimes that makes me feel sad and long for some adventure. But most of the time I realize that my kids will have the privilege of growing up in the same town their whole lives. They will start kindergarten and finish high school with most of the same people.
I will have the opportunity to strengthen the friendships that we already have. (I say “we” because we are fortunate that most of our friends are couples friends and that is good for both of us.) And my kids will grow up with my friends’ kids.
I love that I know where everything is in this town and where to go when I need anything. I know the holes in the wall and the big chain places. I know the areas where we would want to live and where we want our kids to go to school.
I still get really nostalgic when I think about Louisiana, my home state. Most of my extended family is still there and lots of friends are there. Not to mention the best food on the planet and one of the greatest cultures in the whole world, in my opinion. I still feel like I am visiting home when I am there. But this is home now and it finally feels that way.
I spent most of 2010 praying for contentment and praying that God would help me stop wishing for whatever might be coming next. I haven’t been able to cast all of those thoughts aside, but I do feel like I am home.
And it is all because of my precious little family. They are here. And my home is where ever they are. My parents can come visit and I can visit them. The same with my friends. But this is where I belong unless God takes us in a different direction.
And you know what else? It’s not all about me. As I learned many many years ago, I can be happy where ever I live. And I am happy here. (As long as KK and Poppie come for regular visits!)
