It’s hard feeling displaced. Because of my dad’s jobs, we moved around a lot. South Louisiana to north Louisiana to Indiana and back to Louisiana for college. Then I came to South Carolina for graduate school. I am used to moving. I actually like moving.
My parents would probably be shocked to see those words because when we moved between my seventh and eighth grade years to Indiana, I’m pretty sure I acted like the world was ending. And at the time I thought it was. But all of those experiences were so great for me and I got used to doing something new every few years. It was always an adventure and I finally understood and believed that I could live anywhere and I could make friends where ever we went.
When I moved here to South Carolina, I never imagined that it would be a permanent move. But here I am, seven years later, and seven years is the longest I have ever lived anywhere. I lived in Baton Rouge from birth to seven years old. To me, seven years seems like a really long time to live in one spot.
But during those years, I started and finished graduate school. Almost all of my grad school friends left town, but I stayed. And then I met my husband the next year and a bar exam and a successful career keep him here, in his home town. He also went away to two great schools, but came back here because it was home.
There were some years of pent up resentment. Not toward anyone in particular, but I was feeling sorry for myself. My family isn’t here. My best friends from college aren’t here. But I’m here. In a place in my life where it’s awkward to try to make friends.
But after some time, prayer, lots of “putting myself out there”, and patience, I feel like I am home. I have some of the most amazing friends I could ask for here in this town. My husband has a wonderful career that makes him very happy. We will probably always live here. Sometimes that makes me feel sad and long for some adventure. But most of the time I realize that my kids will have the privilege of growing up in the same town their whole lives. They will start kindergarten and finish high school with most of the same people.
I will have the opportunity to strengthen the friendships that we already have. (I say “we” because we are fortunate that most of our friends are couples friends and that is good for both of us.) And my kids will grow up with my friends’ kids.
I love that I know where everything is in this town and where to go when I need anything. I know the holes in the wall and the big chain places. I know the areas where we would want to live and where we want our kids to go to school.
I still get really nostalgic when I think about Louisiana, my home state. Most of my extended family is still there and lots of friends are there. Not to mention the best food on the planet and one of the greatest cultures in the whole world, in my opinion. I still feel like I am visiting home when I am there. But this is home now and it finally feels that way.
I spent most of 2010 praying for contentment and praying that God would help me stop wishing for whatever might be coming next. I haven’t been able to cast all of those thoughts aside, but I do feel like I am home.
And it is all because of my precious little family. They are here. And my home is where ever they are. My parents can come visit and I can visit them. The same with my friends. But this is where I belong unless God takes us in a different direction.
And you know what else? It’s not all about me. As I learned many many years ago, I can be happy where ever I live. And I am happy here. (As long as KK and Poppie come for regular visits!)
Wonderful post! I did return as an adult to live in my hometown, but my husband is not from the area (not even close!). I was so nervous when we moved that he would hate it and harbor some resentment. Luckily for us, that has not been the case. It is so good though to hear “the other side” through your eyes. Thanks for your honesty.
What a beautiful post. You words are strung together so well to describe something I feel all the time. I can totally relate to the contentment issue at this stage in life. It’s so much harder to be an adult than I ever imagined.
Unlike you, I lived in the same neighborhood from the age of 4-18. My parents are still there. Many of my best friends moved back there. And sometimes I wonder why I’m not there. I’d have so many more friends, and my parents would be right there to see for dinner on Sunday evenings. That idea of that is so appealing.
But I like knowing that J and I are starting our own lives. It’s certainly hard, but it’s worth it. I do wish for more close friends in my city, but I’m learning to be content. I think I need to take your advice and pray over this (what a crazy concept, right?). And now that we’re moving to NC, the journey begins again. Like I said, being an adult is so harder than anyone tells you!
Thanks for this post friend 🙂
Great post! I’ve struggled alot with feeling content within our house. I always want to do more, redecorate, and constantly feel as thought it isn’t completely. Just a few weeks ago, I looked around and realized it’s home. It’s not perfect. We rent our house and it’s old and some (okay, most) of our furniture is second hand. But, who cares, I decided. It’s our home and it’s where we make memories with friends, family, the dogs, etc. I definitely feel you on this post.
“My family isn’t here. My best friends from college aren’t here. But I’m here. In a place in my life where it’s awkward to try to make friends.”
I so relate. I moved around a lot as a young child, but went to school from K-12 with all the same people. Then I moved around a little more. But I don’t want to move anymore! I just want to carve out my place right here. My parents and high school/college friends are a thousand miles away, but where I live I have my husband and a couple of other family members. It is hard to make friends but I’m confident that I’ll get there.
What a great post. Very poignant and it really hit close to “home” for me. We are currently living in a condo and definitely busting at the seams with just the three of us and we still want one more. I struggle to be content in our current living situation and I long to find our permanent house so I too can have that settled feeling. And what a cute house!
Love this post! I moved from Atlanta, GA to Louisville, KY in 8th grade so I can definitely relate. I stayed here for college and KY now feels like home. Your house is gorgeous and I am glad you are feeling settled! Answered prayer!
I am a new follower and just had to comment on this post….
I can totally relate to you, except in the fact that instead of moving a lot as a child, I have moved a lot as an adult. We lived in the same house my entire childhood, but since my husband & I got married 5 1/2 years ago, we have moved 7 times…. all due to his jobs and different life circumstances. I am praying that someday I come to peace with where we live now as well… I don’t know that we’ll be here forever, but I hope that if we are, I can be happy here. For the most part I am, I just wish my parents & inlaws lived closer… I really feel like they’re missing out on my boys’ lives and their growing up. 🙁
Thanks for this post. It gives me hope that someday I can write something like this as well.
I completely relate to your post and have the same internal struggle all the time. I love raising my family in Indianapolis, my husband’s hometown, but I so miss my family. I am also fortunate that my parents often visit, but I miss the little things, like being able to drop my daughter off at Grandma’s for an aternoon.
I also relate to the “alone” struggle of a new city! As a young-stay-at-home mom, I don’t think it’s always easy to meet other moms with the same interests , outside of having children the same age. I am fortunate to have found some, and I’m glad you have too. I try to remember to count my blessings often and focus on all the great things in life that I do have 🙂
You sound like me. I’ve been in Houston seven years, it took six and finding a great group of wonderful friends to finally accept that this is now “home”, where we plan on raising our children.
I so needed to hear this…and be reminded that home is where you make it. I grew up and always lived in Southern California (except for grad school in Colorado) and moved to the San Francisco Bay Area almost three years ago due to my husband’s job. It still feels foreign and I long for what was. However, my hubby and my boys are here and I am trying to embrace it. It’s just taking a lot longer than expected.
What a great post! I’m so happy you’ve found home, and are comfortable where you are.
Since moving to CA 2 years ago, I’ve really struggled to find peace with where we live. The truth is, I know we won’t live here forever, but I don’t know where we will live. I hate the unknown, and the fact that we won’t live here forever has really kept me from making any strong ties here. I can’t wait ’til we live somewhere that we know we will stay long term.
Awe! What a great feeling! So glad you found a place to set up roots. Louisiana will always be “home” for you but as we grow and live, new places will always tug at our heartstrings. For me, Savannah is always home but the time spent with John being in the Marines has spun me to places I would have never gone to on my own accord. And your house? Adorable. Love brick homes!!
XX Mrs Wasp
Very well said. I’m so glad you’re feeling settled.
I can relate to a lot of this & pray for the clarity you’ve found. I still struggle with thinking of California as home, since my family & most close friends are there, though I’m happy being in Austin at the same time. Home truly is where our new little families are.
I am the same way.. Cincinnati will always be home.. But I love SC! And we have lived in our house for six years and this is this longest I’ve ever lived in one place! 🙂
I moved to the midwest to finish school from a beautiful little island in Washington. I planned to return home right after graduating. Wouldn’t you know it? I met my husband and we are still in the midwest while he is finishing school…and now residency. I long to return home, and I struggle a lot with these feelings of being misplaced and not “home.”
Wow, I couldn’t imagine 7 years being the longest I had lived anywhere. I am almost 24, and have lived in the same city (Christchurch, New Zealand) my entire life. I’ve travelled out of it of course, quite a bit, but home has always been here, and I think, especially after the two earthquakes we’ve just had, that it probably always will be.
Beautiful house in the photo at the bottom of this post, by the way, I wish my house was that cute! 🙂
As a military wife, we don’t even have the privilege of putting down roots, setting up shop and knowing it is home. We both miss our college friends and family but with technology, it is far easier than it used to be. I’m guilty of being an adult on facebook, only because of military life. Life is what you make of it though. Coming from a very big city, for both of us, to living in small towns was a total, total shock. But we’ve learned a lot about people of all backgrounds, what makes a community, to learn from everywhere you go and to enjoy getting to know as many places and people as possible. Sometimes we look at family and friends that spend their twenties and early thirties figuring out where they want to settle, creating a stable friend base there, with envy. But at the same time, we’ve lived, learned, seen and experienced so many different things, we know first hand about so many regions, countries, etc. that I don’t think I could bring myself to trade that for anything.
This was so powerful, and I can relate to this in so many ways. Although I live in my hometown, none of my friends live here anymore, and the few that do are not in our stage of life, and it is hard to find a good group of solid people to surround ourseleves with. I constantly pray for contentment as well, and it is hard to not feel sorry for myself sometimes–especially being a stay at home mom while my fiance works and has been lucky enough to have all of his friends in the area. That said, you are so right. Home is where your family is..no matter where you are. Thanks for sharing these thoughts 🙂
Loved reading this. I am in the same boat…and hoping I feel your contentment sometime soon. We live in my husband’s hometown…his job is here, and we’ve already started putting down our own roots here as well. I don’t see us leaving. It’s so hard when all of his family is here, a short drive away, and mine is 5 hours away. As much as I love my in laws, it’s not quite the same…but I’m sure you know what I mean 🙂 So glad you are happy in your home with your adorable little family!
I know exactly what you mean! My dad was in the Navy during my formative years, and for whatever reason, we didn’t just move every 3 years like normal Navy families…we moved ALL the time! When I was 18 and moved out of the house for college I continued the trend of moving all the time. The thought of 7 years in 1 place seems like an eternity to me, but I’ve been home {in Florida} now for 5 and it seems like time is just flying. I am so glad that you’ve found contentment where you are….it makes life a little bit easier =)
I hear you! My husband and I both lived in Austin until after college. All of our family is there. We love it and miss it (and would move there in a heartbeat for a good job). But, right now we have good jobs elsewhere and we are happy where we are now, getting to know a new area. I agree that is makes all the difference if you can visit frequently. We are fortunate for the time/money/willingness to be able to visit family and have them visit us!
This is so nice, and I can really relate; I actually wrote about this not too long ago. I grew up in NH, where my family still lives. Growing up, both sets of my grandparents lived in my town as well. I’ve lived in DC for nearly seven years, and while it doesn’t quite feel like home, it is getting there. My boyfriend grew up in IA, and his family still lives there. It makes me sad knowing that my children won’t be as close to their grandparents, as we don’t plan to move back to either of our hometowns….but, we’re making our own home, for our future children, and that is the important thing, I think.
We are moving to Cola in August and I definitely struggle with the fear of leaving my comfort zone and not having any friends or family. I see you’ve been able to make it and have prevailed. That gives me hope!
Happy Resurrection Sunday!
This is a great post, and your house is so pretty!
Stumbled into your blog because of influence network. I lived in Columbia not far from this home. I remember the stork as I went for my daily run. I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to say hello when I lived in cola. It’s a good place. Some of my dearest friendships and growth with The Lord was in the Shandon neighborhood. Enjoy!