Congratulations to Lianna for winning the Nat Kat Designs giveaway! Email me at eeakin11{at}gmail{dot}com to redeem your custom “Celebrate” painting!

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these, but here goes…

1. It’s been one heck of a week. We were in Dallas, we got home, we’ve had VBS every day and something fun every night. I’m pooped.

2. Since April, every time I’ve flown with Hudson I’ve sworn that it’s the last time I’m doing it by myself until he’s old enough to use the potty. I know I’ll go back on my word again. He’s not a bad flyer, but it is definitely exhausting to fly for three hours with him when he doesn’t sleep.

3. Things with my mom aren’t exactly getting better. I’m trying my hardest to stay strong, stay positive, and not get overwhelmed with worry. I’m trying to adopt her attitude and my dad’s attitude and put all of my trust in the Lord. A friend said to me this morning, “Just remember, Man’s words are words, God’s words are life. He is not defined by statistics.”

4. Remember to check into my mom’s blog for the full story at What’s the Plan?

5. I’m now a sunscreen addict and have to bite my tongue if someone even mentions a tanning bed.

6. Thank you for the great, encouraging comments on my post about trying to find the right balance of satisfying my creative tendencies and being home with Hudson without getting too overwhelmed. My number one priority is that little boy. He is the reason that his daddy and I work so hard every day.

7. I’m losing some weight. I’ve also been pretty stressed lately, but hopefully the weight is coming off in a good way and not because of stress. I heart FitLab.

8. I’ve got a name and a little plan for this party-planning business. Now I just need our life to slow down to a crawl so I can take some time to work on everything.

9. I absolutely adore my family. And I know more than ever how important family is.

10. Vacation Bible School has been so much fun! I love working with the second graders and Hudson has had a great week being in the 1 year old class. I got there just in time to hear him singing “e-yi-e-yi-o” to all of his teachers this afternoon.

11. I’m dreaming of a vacation. Preferably here.

12. And I’m not sure what else to say because, frankly, my mind is running in circles. I’ve got a ton on my heart and a very full MomAgenda. Seriously, every page is full. And it’s not all stuff I want to do. But it’s life. It’s responsibility. We get through it and we go through stuff. But I have some incredible friends and a family that I can’t imagine this world without.

13. I know what else to say. I’m looking forward to curling up on the couch with my book.

Toodles, poodles!

Set-up: Hudson and I have been in Dallas for five days and just spent a day at Vacation Bible School and the pool for a play-date. We’re home and we’re happy to spend some time with TC. Our family is back together after five days apart. I suggest that TC give Hudson a bath. TC remarks on Hudson’s stench, which I didn’t know he had. Maybe it’s from traveling, swimming in Dallas, I don’t know. But apparently there was a definite odor!

Scene: I’m cooking supper for the three of us and suggest that TC go ahead and give Hudson his bath. TC bathes Hudson and they return to the table to eat. And this conversations occurs:

Me: Bring me Hudson’s comb.

TC: {starts combing Hudson’s hair into a crazy high mass of hair.}

Me: Stop. He doesn’t need to look like a televangelist.

TC: Well his hair is a little long.

Me: Do you think we should cut it?

TC: Well…. yeah!

Me: Why?

TC: Because our stinky kid doesn’t also need a mullet!

And…. scene.

Yep, welcome to parenthood.

*Note: In response to some of the comments, I want to say that this post is not meant to be a debate on SAHM v. working moms. I have no desire or intention to work full time and do find my job with Hudson to be completely fulfilling.

I was thinking earlier today that I’m currently feeling a little bit of disappointment in myself. I’m sure I just need to break out my copies of So Long Insecurity and Cure For the Common Life to snap out of it and seek the Lord’s will, but I thought I’d share it here to get it out.

I have not once regretted my decision to be a stay-at-home-mom. I love the way I spend my days and I love getting to spend so much time with my precious boy. We definitely have our share of trying days and it’s not the most glamorous life, but my home is my workplace and I love doing my best to make it the best home that I can. I find ways to challenge myself at home to keep things exciting for me and comfortable for my family.

I don’t miss my former job (I miss the people). I don’t miss the schedule or the unpredictable workload. But I do miss the sense of pride and security that I feel in knowing that I am doing something that I’m good at. We all have our talents and it’s good for us to exercise those talents. Lately, I’ve had some feelings of inadequacy when I see friends that are finding ways to explore their talents and hobbies, maybe even make a little money doing it, and don’t seem to have fears about doing it.

I’ve always thought that I’d love to plan events and get paid and do it on my own terms. After planning Hudson’s birthday party I would love to start a small-scale party-planning company and think it would be wonderful to exclusively plan children’s parties. But there’s the fear of putting it out there and failing. Will people in Columbia even pay for someone to plan their party?

I also have fears of biting off more than I can chew. I can plan a party and I can raise my child without help every day. But can I do both?

Recently, I’ve committed myself to being the chair person for my Junior League committee, running the puppets class for our church’s music camp, and working Vacation Bible School at church. These are all things that I’m very excited about and I am not diminishing the value that each of these things holds for me and for those affected by it. But I do have this little nagging feeling that I want a little more.

But how much more? This isn’t about contentment or money. I just want to make sure that if I ever look back, I feel like I’ve lived up to my potential. Raising Hudson is the absolute best, most rewarding job I could ever take on. And maybe it’s something I should reevaluate when he (and our other future children) are in school.

Because one of my fears is committing to something that I can’t complete, I want to make sure that I’m completely invested, ready, and committed to whatever I decide to do.

Maybe this is all in my head and I’m putting unnecessary pressure on myself. I often have feelings like I should be “pulling my weight more.” And when I stop to think about that, I think it’s completely ridiculous that I could think that way. We are a family. A unit. We work together.

Maybe I’m rambling, but is this something that other stay-at-home moms have faced? I have found ways to keep completely busy and sometimes find myself to be busier than I was when I was working outside of the home. But I just want to make sure that if there is an avenue I can pursue to keep my creative juices flowing and still keep my day job with Hudson that I pursue it.

If you’re not a mom or a stay-at-home mom, do you find yourself wondering about the other job you could/should be doing?

I’ll be asking the Lord to guide me, to give me courage, and to make it obvious where he wants to use me.