So we’ve talked about how we should be giving ourselves the freedom to put away the fine china and the linen napkins and to embrace the real and the authentic in each other and our homes. We’ve talked about the importance of inviting for the sake of community and not feeling the pressure for everything to be perfect.

But what if you love the pretty? What if place settings and table runners and fresh runners make you come alive and fire you up? What if you truly the details of entertaining? Then I say that this is wonderful, too.

I love pretty things. When my house is shiny and sparkling and my table is set perfectly, I feel alive! I want to take a picture of it. I want to enjoy it for as long as possible.

And if that is you, and you love the pretty, then you should absolutely enjoy every part of that.

But if perfection causes you to snap at your family or spend your entire day stressing and cleaning, then give yourself the freedom to give it up.

In my opinion, you can love the pretty and not let it consume you and be ready to serve your guests and open up your heart and your home. Or you can love the pretty and be overly concerned with perfection and the gourmet meal that you completely miss it.

Where ever you stand, give yourself the freedom to be there. Give yourself the freedom to throw the fancy party without guilt. Or maybe you’re just tired and worn out from years of trying so hard and you need to give yourself the freedom to give up perfection.

No matter where you fall, though, don’t compare yourself, your home, your style of hospitality to anyone else’s. There is no right or wrong way to show hospitality. Opening the door and inviting is all they need from us.

This post is part of 31 Days of Breaking Bread

It took us a while to find our people after we got married. I moved here after college for graduate school, and most of my classmates and new friends moved when we graduated. Todd moved back here after finishing law school in Virginia and found himself working all the time and mostly socializing with coworkers.

So, as a couple, we found ourselves searching for our own friends and our couple friends. And when we officially joined our church, we were so lucky to also find a sweet community of other newlyweds. Over the last six years, we’ve continued to form relationships with new couples. Hudson and Hayes have also contributed to our community as we’ve opened our doors to their friends and their friends’ parents have become some of our dearest friends.

A few months ago, a friend confided in me that she was having a hard time finding her people here. They had friends, but they had never been invited to anyone’s home for dinner. In ten years. And this was something that was really hurting her.

It was in that moment, that I truly understood the feelings that come when you’re invited. The feeling of wanting to be known. Of being trusted enough for someone to invite you to see their junk and their mess and where they sleep.

So, of course, we extended an invitation for dinner. A simple invitation meant the world to my friend.

We all want to be known. We all want to be loved. And we’ve all felt unknown and invisible and alone. And we know people who are feeling that way.

So that’s why we’re inviters. We’re not the heroes of the story. We just crave community. And if we’re not creating a place for that community, we have to go out and find it somewhere else.

This post is part of 31 Days of Breaking Bread

On Friday night, I sent a text to my friend who was having a tough week and invited their family over for dinner on Saturday night. It wasn’t going to be anything big. There were a lot of great football games on TV occupying our time. The weather was amazing, so we spent most of the day outside on bikes and scooters. But we wanted our friends and their kids to come over for some simple fellowship.

Between our two families, we have five boys. Two five-year olds, two three-year olds, and a one-year old. And of course our baby boy on the way. We have a lot in common just because of this wild phase of life.

I had planned to make a simple pasta dish, a salad, and a dessert and order pizza for the kids, but Todd told me he really wanted to do take out barbecue because he loves barbecue and football. So that’s what we did. We ordered a few pounds of barbecue and some sides, including mac and cheese for the kids, and kept it warm until they arrived.

They arrived, we watched football and ate some corn dip, and the kids played in the play room. We could hear messes being made. We’d hear someone cry and have to decide whose kid was crying and why. There’s always a little bit of refereeing that goes on when you get that many little boys together. But it’s real life.

Our friends have seen our imperfect kids do wild things that get them in a little bit of trouble. And we’ve seen our friends discipline their kids. It’s part of being in community. It’s part of letting people in to see the not-so-great moments that are just part of real life.

We made our way upstairs to check on the kids before we ate, and the playroom looked like a bomb had gone off, but we just left it until the next day. No need to stop and clean up because we wanted to visit. We sat and ate. Some kids ate more than other. Hayes, actually, didn’t eat anything at all. And that’s life.

But my boys loved having their friends in our house and we loved having our friends there, too.

I wanted to share five simple tips for an easy last-minute gathering:

1. Order take out. Don’t put pressure on yourself for a gourmet meal. Serve some familiar comfort food. Order take-out barbecue. Pick up a pizza or two. Pick up Chinese take-out.

2. Do a quick clean. Run the vacuum cleaner through the common areas. For us, this is really only important because of dog hair. We wipe down the kitchen counters and table just to make sure that it’s clean enough to serve food off of.

3. Set the table. Or just go ahead and get all the dishes and silverware you’ll need. Or just open up a pack of paper plates.

4. Check the bathroom. Just make sure there is a clean hand towel and a full roll of toilet paper. You’re not doing anything fancy, but you just want to make sure everyone’s needs are met.

5. Turn on the lights and unlock the door. Just turning on the lights, lighting a candle, and having the door open ready to receive your guests just sends a message that you were expecting them, and your home is open and ready for them.

What are some of your easiest tips to welcoming last minute guests?

This post is part of 31 Days of Breaking Bread

On Saturdays during this series, I’m going to either share a quote from someone or share one of my favorite books on community and hospitality.

I hope you’ve taken a step out this weekend and extended an invitation.