I think there’s a common connection between hospitality and entertaining. But entertaining is typically done out of the need to impress others.

By definition, entertaining is amusing and enjoyable. Hospitality is the generous and friendly treatment of visitors and guests.

But what is Biblical hospitality? It’s love of strangers. It’s loving people that may never reciprocate or repay you. It’s loving people that have nothing to offer in return.

I actually got my Masters degree in Hospitality Management back in 2005. We didn’t study love of strangers or how to open up our messy homes or our messy hearts. We didn’t study how to approach the struggling friend or stranger and how to invite them in. We studied how to impress guests, and how to create a strong, recognizable brand. We studied marketing and finance and how to impress people with impeccable hospitality.

And I definitely want the guests in my home to have clean, fluffy towels and plenty of soap and toilet paper. But entertaining can be a source of pride. The host or hostess receives praise and that’s plenty of encouragement to do it again. By humbling myself and inviting into our “just as it is” home and family, we’re giving up the praise.

Hospitality doesn’t expect reciprocity. True hospitality invites and opens the doors and listens to the hearts of its guests and understands that there may never be a return invitation.

It’s an interesting balance of wanting to make your guest comfortable and wanting to give them a place of grace where they can have the freedom to let their walls down. And I think it starts with creating that environment as the hostess.

So here’s a Monday morning confession for you.

My little family of four is feeling very disjointed to me this morning.

I know it’s Monday morning, and who should have it all together on a Monday morning? But it’s the truth. We had a very busy weekend. A fun weekend, but we were all kind of all over the place.

Todd and I had a great, much-needed date night. We went to dinner and we went to see Gone Girl. My in-laws kept the boys overnight. We took the boys to a really fun birthday party on Saturday morning and then went to the pumpkin patch, and we went our separate ways that afternoon. I took the boys to a movie and Todd went to a party for friend. And Sunday was not as restful as any of us would have hoped. There were arguments before we even got in the car to go to church.

And in our case, I know that we weren’t disjointed because we had too much togetherness. We’re disjointed because we’re too busy. All I can think about this morning, is what I’m preparing for supper so my family can sit down together and have a distraction-free meal together. Not a perfect family dinner, but just a meal together. Without rushing kids off to do baths and bed time. Without rushing to the next activity.

The kind of meal where we have time to ask each other about our days, and we do our very best to think of the most positive thing we can share. And then also feel comfortable enough to share our hurts.

As much as I love opening our home and I know how important it is for my kids to share their space and their table with other families, having good, uninterrupted time where they feel seen and heard is so important, too. And it’s the same for Todd and me. We both want to feel seen and heard and important when we’re at home.

There’s a big pot of Pioneer Woman’s chicken and noodles being prepped right now, and I’m already excited about sitting down tonight with my people.

This post is part of 31 Days of Breaking Bread

Shauna Niequist’s book, Bread and Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table, is a favorite of mine. Her stories about her cooking club and the things they have experienced together leave me laughing and crying with them. And her recipes are pretty amazing, too. I highly recommend you pick up this book if you are looking for beautiful, true stories about community and food.

In this stage of my life, I’ve called myself “just a mom” more times than I’d like to admit. I always try to catch myself and backtrack so I’m not diminishing the role I play in my kids’ lives, but it’s still something I say.

I clean up messes. I read books. I teach. I discipline. I referee. I kiss boo boos and hold tiny hands to walk across parking lots.

And there have been plenty of times when I wonder if I can do more. How can I make a difference?

With disease and terrorism and hatred and crime and poverty and so much that breaks our hearts every day, what can I do? Who can I impact?

It’s when we can slow down and become noticers of the people around us, right in front of us, that we can have the biggest impact.

The new mom down the street who never imagined she could be lonely at home with a newborn. Stopping by with a meal and her favorite Starbucks drink means the world to her. Or an offer for you to watch her baby while she showers and actually dries her hair for the first time in two weeks.

The family that just moved to town and the mom who is feeling lost and alone in her new city. All she wants is an invitation to a play date at the park so her kids can be in the company of other kids.

The elderly woman who slowly shuffles through the grocery store every Monday morning and would love someone to stop and talk to her and maybe even walk with her to her car.

I know that I am way too often too busy and wrapped up in my to-do list and dealing with our own family matters to even notice what is happening right in front of me. But I know that these people are there, just going through the motions of every day life. And being noticed could open up the door to beautiful community and trust. A real opportunity to make a difference.

Smallness can give us the opportunity to make huge impacts for His kingdom, if we’re open and available and willing to be noticers.