Heart

white space isn't the answer

Oct252013

Throughout the past three weeks of examining, purging, clearing, praying and creating margin, I have hoped.

I’ve hoped for freedom. I’ve hoped for clarity. I’ve hoped for more time in the day. I’ve hoped for more laughs and less rushing. I’ve hoped for a big moment where my dreams fall into my lap because I’m going through all of these exercises to allow room for things to happen.

And while creating all of this white space is fantastic; it clears my heart and my mind and my day, and it makes me more intentional and it allows a place for my story to stop and God’s story for me to begin, it isn’t all.

The white space is great, but it isn’t the answer.

My hope is in the cross.

White space won’t make me any better or more valuable or more productive anymore than a calendar full of yeses and a closet full of clothes will make me valuable or productive.

I can have a calendar without one ounce of breathing room, but if I have Jesus, I know that I can trust in that. Even if I didn’t pencil Him in on that day, He isn’t going to leave me.

I can have a closet full of clothes that I bought in hopes of feeling a certain way when I wear them, but they’re robbing me of white space and causing me daily anxiety. But if I have Jesus, I know that He will clothe me and cover me.

On this journey, I’ve been praying that I can release the need to hang on to the stuff, and that I can find daily freedom in walking with Him. I’ve prayed that I can trust Him to know exactly what I need and to fill all the space where I’ve made room.

Creating room for Him to move has given me the freedom to stop striving and pushing and creating more. And it has also given me so much clarity as to what is the most important. Where I want to focus my time and energy. But my eyes are on the cross as I listen for Him to tell me where to go.

He isn’t my margin. He is my body. And giving Him the room to move in me, in my family, and in my home has been a true act of worship.

This is Day 25 of 31 Days of Creating White Space

simple thoughts & simple spaces by Paige Knudsen

Filed Under: 31 days, White Space

Oct242013

*Today, friends, I am beyond honored to have the lovely, wise, beautiful Paige Knudsen guest blogging here. Paige is the talent and grace behind Simple Thoughts. She is a blogger, a mom to four beautiful girls, a very talented photographer, fellow Golden Retriever lover, and a cheerleader for many women in her life! Her blog is full of beautiful images and truth-filled words. You will love reading her blog! And today, you will be so blessed after reading her story of creating white space in her home and her life. All the images in this post were taken by Paige of her home.

Edited to add: Paige’s home is very white and very beautiful, and while this may seem daunting for moms of little ones…especially boy moms…it has actually been easier to maintain because there is less clutter. There are fewer things to break. And the slipcovers are washable! Thank you, IKEA! Little ones are welcome!

I think now, more than ever, I struggle with making the effort….because it takes effort-planning-self discipline….to make margin in our lives. For some reason, when my girls were little, I figured I’d only be “on” once they came home from school. As if parenting highschoolers ( and now a couple in college) was this license to freedom and spare time!

It’s actually been a little easier for me to make margin & white space ….that quiet area….that space where my mind & eye can rest…in my home than in my actual schedule and daily life. Let’s talk about that first.

I’ll never forget the day when I walked into my cluttered, colorful home and thought enough is enough. Why didn’t someone save me? While everything was neat & tidy, it was just too much. Too much on the walls. Too much furniture. Too many frames on the tables. Too many nick nacks. Too much. I started that very day and proceeded to pack it up, give it away & garage sale it. Gone. Minimize.

I needed to keep things on a shoe-string budget. So being the impatient person I can be, I began the slow process of painting every space in downstairs & hallways the same creamy white color. As I took the many frames & mirrors & painted signs off the walls, I realized how open and spacious and free I felt in my home. I honestly had a peaceful easy feeling for the first time ( as far as decorating goes)…and I loved it.

After I painted the spaces I only brought back in what I absolutely loved. This was far from an easy process for me because I attach meaning to everything.

I am a lover of story and history. Everything has sentimental meaning.

But my eye was on the prize of simplifying our home and creating that “white space” I longed for so for a few things, I did compromise.

Part of the compromise included making a large linen covered cork board and printing out 8×10 images that I trade out seasonally. This enabled me to keep my images in my visual space but just not so cluttery.

I did the same with my art canvases. I usually prop them on shelves instead of placing them on the wall which allows me the ease of changing them out. So once again, I can enjoy them just not at all times and all over my home.

I suppose the process of creating margin & “white space” in my schedule is quite similar to the process of creating white space in my home. Just like packing up all the clutter and well- loved this’s & that’s from my shelves, I need to do the same with my schedule.

I often times tell my daughters that choices are seldom between something clearly “good” & something clearly “not good.” But rather choosing how we spend our time or how we schedule our day is about choosing the best choice for that particular time.

I find that in my role as a mom, making margin or guarding that margin is a toughy.

Just last week I had set apart three days where nothing work related was going to land on my mom agenda. Perhaps the only three days between now & Christmas where I didn’t have a post -it note marking an obligation.

I turned down three last minute job opportunities & even told a friend that I was unable to work at the school on one of those mornings. What that margin allowed was extra, unplanned, fun & relaxed time with my girls several times over those three days. Once you create the margin, you need to tend to it and guard it as well.

While simplifying our home has been a process that started years ago, I continue to walk into spaces & ask my self if something needs to go, or be packed up for a little while.

Same thing with my schedule. I’m growing in that area & learning to allow myself to say “no.” Learning to guard it once it’s been created. Having friends that encourage this and respond with grace to my “no, I can’t do that today. I have scheduled a little respite” or however you wish to verbalize it, has been an encouragement and blessing to me. I pray it is the same for you as well.

*Let me add the following for all the precious young mamas of toddlers. Over the years we’ve had over four styles of furniture & sets of sofas. These that are in my home now are from Ikea & are, by far, the easiest to maintain. By a long shot! All I do is throw them in my old washing machine & call it day. They are also comparatively inexpensive. While I may not have little ones, I do have several teenage girls…and that attracts several teenage friends, including large boys & football players. and we have a large dog, who is not white & does shed excessively.

Do not be afraid of a literal “white space”.

Furthermore, when my girls were younger, I wish I had embraced the simple look. Less clutter = less potential for things to be broken. A white, clutter free space, really is easy to maintain.

I am including a little rookie style video i created when I wrote a couple posts about my journey to simplify our home. You can read them here & here

I am not a profession videographer, so I apologize in advance!

Thank you so much, Erin, for allowing me a little space to share!

www.paigeknudsen.com
www.paigeknudsen.noondaycollection.com

This post is Day 24 of 31 Days of Creating White Space

white (space) Christmas: removing the excess in your schedule

Filed Under: 31 days, White Space

Oct232013

So many of the things we commit to for Christmas are not even things we want to be doing. They are joy-stealers and white space-robbers. Old traditions, obligatory parties, things you feel like you should be doing because Pinterest says so. (By the way, let go of that immediately. Just let it go.)

If you see a fun idea on a blog about a new Christmas tradition, don’t let it steal your joy. If it seems like a good fit for your family, give it a try. If it seems like something that is too much for you and would cause too much stress? Let it go, sister.

Before the Christmas season begins, think of some things you really want to do together as a family. Sipping hot chocolate and watching all your favorite movies. Wrapping the grandparents’ gifts together. Driving around and looking at Christmas lights. Decorating the tree. Or attending a church’s Christmas pageant.

For me, if I’m having to get a babysitter more evenings than not, I should cut it out. Maybe it’s an office party, or a family member’s best friend’s party with people you don’t even know all that well. Or maybe it’s something that requires you buying an expensive ticket and you don’t even want to go in the first place. A few years ago, we used to attend three black tie functions during the Christmas season. That was before we had kids. We cut that out faster than you can say, “you serious, Clark?”

If making a gingerbread house causes more stress than it’s worth, don’t make it. But if it’s the highlight of your and your kids’ Christmas, then definitely making that gingerbread house. But I have to evaluate what works best for us. What steals the white space and what creates it?

I’m an introvert who likes community. I like close gatherings with family and friends. I like nights at home on the couch watching movies together and baking to the sounds of Tender Tennessee Christmas and Kentucky Homemade Christmas. (I never realized that both of my favorite Christmas songs mention specific states.)

When it comes to other obligations and commitments, ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that will happen if I don’t do this?” Minimize your list of “have-tos for Christmas” so that it only includes what is life-giving and enjoyable for your family.

Take a long, hard look and what you want versus what you think is expected, and come up with ways to eliminate stress, save money, and just scale it back a little.

My goal for this year? I don’t want anything to be over-the-top. I want to enjoy the company of my family and our friends without rushing around all the time. As I said yesterday, it’s about removing the excess so God has room to move through us, and so that we can bless others in Jesus’ name.

This is Day 23 in 31 Days of Creating White Space

white (space) Christmas & gifts

Filed Under: 31 days, White Space

Oct222013

I love Christmas. I love every little thing about Christmas. But I want this Christmas to be different.

Gift-giving is one of my love languages (along with words of affirmation). I love giving gifts. I buy ahead in the summer, and when Christmas comes around, I buy and buy some more because I just get so excited thinking about giving the gifts. Searching for the perfect gift for someone is so fun for me, and when I find that perfect gift, I nearly combust with anticipation to give it!

For me, the answer is to stop trying to do it bigger and bigger each year.

As we’ve seen, I’ve been cleaning out closets and toys for the past few weeks, and I don’t want to undo all of that hard work. I also don’t want to put financial stress on my family because all of those gifts in December were just too good to resist.

One of our solutions for this year is to give “experiences” to the kids. We have a family trip for the big gift. Zoo memberships, museum memberships, a trip to a concert, and fun things that involve quality time.

Giving loved ones some guidelines also helps our family. Letting grandparents know how many gifts are too many and keeping it all within reason for the boys helps keeps things under control.

The greatest white space creator for us, though, is to be in the Word every day. To have an Advent calendar and have a family activity every day, to make sure our kids are learning about the birth of Christ. The Servant King.

Servant. King.

Our family mission statement is to be a blessing to others. So how can we give to others, serve them, be a blessing, show them the love of Christ, and not go completely overboard with spending?

My sweet friend Courtney hosts an incredible activity every year called Light ‘Em Up. It’s full of ideas for families and kids to light up their communities.

The truth is, my children don’t need anything. In fact, last Christmas, there were at least five gifts that they never got around to opening because they were having too much fun playing with that one gift. They don’t even want more.

It’s about community and relationship, as this whole white space challenge has been. Removing the excess so God has room to move through us, and so that we can bless others in Jesus’ name.

This is Day 22 of 31 Days of Creating White Space

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