So many of the things we commit to for Christmas are not even things we want to be doing. They are joy-stealers and white space-robbers. Old traditions, obligatory parties, things you feel like you should be doing because Pinterest says so. (By the way, let go of that immediately. Just let it go.)
If you see a fun idea on a blog about a new Christmas tradition, don’t let it steal your joy. If it seems like a good fit for your family, give it a try. If it seems like something that is too much for you and would cause too much stress? Let it go, sister.
Before the Christmas season begins, think of some things you really want to do together as a family. Sipping hot chocolate and watching all your favorite movies. Wrapping the grandparents’ gifts together. Driving around and looking at Christmas lights. Decorating the tree. Or attending a church’s Christmas pageant.
For me, if I’m having to get a babysitter more evenings than not, I should cut it out. Maybe it’s an office party, or a family member’s best friend’s party with people you don’t even know all that well. Or maybe it’s something that requires you buying an expensive ticket and you don’t even want to go in the first place. A few years ago, we used to attend three black tie functions during the Christmas season. That was before we had kids. We cut that out faster than you can say, “you serious, Clark?”
If making a gingerbread house causes more stress than it’s worth, don’t make it. But if it’s the highlight of your and your kids’ Christmas, then definitely making that gingerbread house. But I have to evaluate what works best for us. What steals the white space and what creates it?
I’m an introvert who likes community. I like close gatherings with family and friends. I like nights at home on the couch watching movies together and baking to the sounds of Tender Tennessee Christmas and Kentucky Homemade Christmas. (I never realized that both of my favorite Christmas songs mention specific states.)
When it comes to other obligations and commitments, ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that will happen if I don’t do this?” Minimize your list of “have-tos for Christmas” so that it only includes what is life-giving and enjoyable for your family.
Take a long, hard look and what you want versus what you think is expected, and come up with ways to eliminate stress, save money, and just scale it back a little.
My goal for this year? I don’t want anything to be over-the-top. I want to enjoy the company of my family and our friends without rushing around all the time. As I said yesterday, it’s about removing the excess so God has room to move through us, and so that we can bless others in Jesus’ name.
This is Day 23 in 31 Days of Creating White Space
I love this post! This is so true! If what you’re doing makes your family’s life joyful, do it. If not, don’t do it! It’s perfectly fine to say no to people and obligations during the holidays. Such truth here.
Amen. My goal this year is to say no to things that don’t truly matter to us. I want to bake, decorate, sing songs, and spend time with family & close friends. Anything above that is just a “no”.
Our family found the real meaning in this message when illness kept us housebound for almost 2 weeks one Christmas season…and we found out that we really missed nothing….we focused on our little family of 4 and kept of focus on the real reason we were celebrating……and knew that another year would come and we could add back in what we truly missed….
I totally agree. I am trying to be mindful of this, as this is my first Christmas as a Mother. My baby girl will be just on 3 months old at Christmas, and I am having to fight the urge to incorporate every cute idea/present/photo opportunity/tradition etc that I see as I prepare for our first Christmas as a family. I need to remind myself that the season will be full of meaning and happy memories just by virtue of the fact that we are together, and able to celebrate the season and the blessing that is our daughter with our families. It is going to be hard not to go overboard though, I can already tell!! I may have to re-read this post a couple more times between now and then 🙂
I’m loving this series! Especially now in a pinterest and blog-craft-heavy world. It’s really important to slow down. Love love.
I LOVE Tender Tennessee Christmas – just thinking about that song put me in the Christmas mood:) You are so right, Erin. Doing things out of obligation or because we feel pressured to keep up with Pinterest or fellow bloggers completely sucks the joy out of the things that we do – especially around the holidays when everyone has to fit so much into such a short amount of time. This year, I want to sit in front of my Christmas tree with a cup of hot cocoa and just enjoy it for once. Instead of rushing around the whole month and then realizing that Christmas is over and the tree is drooping, I want to sit and stare at the twinkle lights and marvel at the beauty that is the Christmas season (like I used to when I was little). I want to soak up time with family and friends and not feel pressured by outside evens that don’t mean as much. Thank you for helping me figure out what I need to do to make sure that this season doesn’t just fly by in a blur this year!!!
I totally agree and Tender TN Christmas is my favorite song too! I’ve already cut out the silly office party for this year. For me it’s not starting a tradition that I will not want to stick to. That darn Elf on the Shelf is NOT happening at my house if I can help it. It looks like way to much stress to try and figure out a new place for it each day. I never had that growing up and I don’t feel like I missed out so my kids will be fine without it too. Now a gingerbread house we may have to add because I think my little “construction worker” would enjoy that!
Every year, I just want to have quiet and moments at home and spending time with family. Typically, every year, my mother and sisters baked cookies together (which really was my mom and my one sister baking and my other sister and I watching and making food). We always did the obligatory work party.
This year (and like last year) will be the 2nd year that we are away from our extended family for Christmas again. Years past, I didn’t like the constant running all over town to visit every house (in laws and my family) and always said I just want to stay home. It was very different last year (and not a fun different) going to Mass and then coming home and not seeing our parents/sisters/brothers. It wasn’t as fun (while yes relaxing) as I thought it would be. I missed the chaos, the conversation, togetherness and food.
I’m visiting from Mix & Match Mama’s Ultimate Fall Giveaways post. My favorite things for Fall are anything Pumpkin, Apple & boots!!!
Erin!!! I LOVE “Kentucky homemade christmas” and NOBODY seems to know it!! 🙂 So glad I found someone who knows it! Songs like that just take me back to all the fun times as a kid! 🙂 Love it! And I 100% agree with you about cutting out whats not necessary! Thanks for writing this post!
This hits home for me in a major way. I see an idea or a beautiful picture and my mind goes straight to making it happen. I appreciate this post immensely and am going into this beautiful season with a whole new mindset because of ladies like you. Thank you.
“I’m an introvert who likes community.” UMMM…THANK YOU! I have never been able to hit the nail on the head like that when describing myself!!! Love your words, girl. Glory glory to our LORD!
xx
elise
Erin, I’ve so enjoyed this series. I’ve also enjoyed reading your blog over the past year and watching this transformation…I don’t even know what to call it. You’re an encourager, a teacher, a strong woman of faith that’s letting His light shine through you, all over the place, in all that you do. And I hope this came across the way I intended. I’m thankful for you and your words of wisdom.
A couple of years ago, I started making a list of the things we will do as a family over the holidays and we start around Thanksgiving – end at Christmas. We already have several family traditions and Ameila loves it. The list just helps me to say no to the stuff that isn’t for us. I’m sure the list will change over the years but it helps me to stay focused on my family and our ministries during an already busy time of year.
Lovely, true post.
Love you, friend.
I’ve been a long time follower of this blog. Never really commented previously. However; I am in love with your “white spaces” post! Really inspired me! Just edited my son’s toys. Spilt some between stoarge and the sitters. Just started an electronics bin. When we enter our home all cell phones, ipads, etc go into a basket. They can’t come out till our son is in bed. Makes us focus on our home and people in it. Kudos to you and thanks for inspiring me!
I love this! I have been determined that this holiday season is going to be more enjoyable and stress-free. I am going to enjoy the time with my family and start some new family traditions. Thanks for sharing.
So on point! I think Pinterest is the worst on Christmas “traditions”. They’re all so cute that I want to do everything but I know that’s not the point. I need to be more intentional.
Amen! I think we worry so much about what Christmas “should” look like that we forget that the very thing we’re celebrating came without all the hoopla. I’m not saying we SHOULDN’T be decking the halls, I just think that we get too caught up in it. And I have NEVER seen either of those movies. What in the world? I’ll try to find them this year.