I love Christmas. I love every little thing about Christmas. But I want this Christmas to be different.
Gift-giving is one of my love languages (along with words of affirmation). I love giving gifts. I buy ahead in the summer, and when Christmas comes around, I buy and buy some more because I just get so excited thinking about giving the gifts. Searching for the perfect gift for someone is so fun for me, and when I find that perfect gift, I nearly combust with anticipation to give it!
For me, the answer is to stop trying to do it bigger and bigger each year.
As we’ve seen, I’ve been cleaning out closets and toys for the past few weeks, and I don’t want to undo all of that hard work. I also don’t want to put financial stress on my family because all of those gifts in December were just too good to resist.
One of our solutions for this year is to give “experiences” to the kids. We have a family trip for the big gift. Zoo memberships, museum memberships, a trip to a concert, and fun things that involve quality time.
Giving loved ones some guidelines also helps our family. Letting grandparents know how many gifts are too many and keeping it all within reason for the boys helps keeps things under control.
The greatest white space creator for us, though, is to be in the Word every day. To have an Advent calendar and have a family activity every day, to make sure our kids are learning about the birth of Christ. The Servant King.
Servant. King.
Our family mission statement is to be a blessing to others. So how can we give to others, serve them, be a blessing, show them the love of Christ, and not go completely overboard with spending?
My sweet friend Courtney hosts an incredible activity every year called Light ‘Em Up. It’s full of ideas for families and kids to light up their communities.
The truth is, my children don’t need anything. In fact, last Christmas, there were at least five gifts that they never got around to opening because they were having too much fun playing with that one gift. They don’t even want more.
It’s about community and relationship, as this whole white space challenge has been. Removing the excess so God has room to move through us, and so that we can bless others in Jesus’ name.
This is Day 22 of 31 Days of Creating White Space
My family is going to be in a different country from where they live over the holidays this year, and with limited suitcase space, that means my parents have declared no presents for Christmas or my little sisters’ birthdays, at least, no presents that they have to pack. So it’s fun to plan experiences that the whole family would enjoy!
I’ve been wanting an advent calendar but can’t find one that I love. Do you have a favorite or any recommendations? Also, can you give examples of the guidelines you gave the grandparents? My MIL goes way overboard with all if her grandkids. Thanks!
Gifts are my love language too, but it’s been easy to dial back with such generous grandparents and a two-bedroom house 😉 So far, Molly hasn’t even realized that she’s “missing” anything. And I’ve gotten much better about giving the grandparents guidelines. Again, the house restrictions are helpful here.
The idea of white space is so critical, especially during the busy holiday season. Glad for the reminders before events and parties start happening.
I second the request for info on guidelines you gave the grandparents. We have a big problem on my in-law side (I can tell my mom what to do, but not them). We live in a city apartment and just don’t have the space, but buying gifts is my MIL’s absolute favorite thing and saying she has to limit it will surely hurt her feelings (even if I say it to the whole family at once). Thinking of saying only small things and any big things have to be for their house? The truth is I usually put things away or donate some as soon as our holiday visits are over, but I have to do it in secret which seems silly.
I continue to look forward to these posts, Erin! Love this. We, too, are doing things differently this year for Christmas, not only because we have this brand new house to pay for, but because our perspective has changed on what is really “necessary” this season. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for this post…I’m looking forward to your other Christmas-themed posts. With Elyse’s birthday being 12 days–yeah 12 days before Christmas…things get CRAZY at our house and this will only be our second year of going through both of these major holidays at once!
I’m thinking that activities are going to be a big request this year…amusement park passes, zoo passes and also lots of fun books will hopefully be gifted this year!
I love this post! I am a new mom to a 6 week old baby girl. As I prepare to go back to work, I have been thinking a lot about balance and creating my own white space. My husband and I have 4 nieces and nephews with a lot of family members that love them. My sister in law has always been good about reminding the kids what the reason for Christmas is…there is moreover beyond gift giving. I recently saw something on Pinterst that I loved as a gift giving rule for grandparents and other family.
Something they want
Something they need
Something to wear
Something to read
That’s great! Sweet and simple, as it should be.
This is so me. I have a such a hard time because I love love love giving gifts! Every year I try not to out do the year before and it’s just hard (I can only imagine when you throw kids into the picture!)
I love the wrapping and watching people unwrap the gifts I picked out and the stockings. But the clutter gets out of hand so I’ve really tried to reign it in but man it’s hard. I want to buy everyone I love all of the presents! We have the added struggle of both of our birthdays being in December so it’s the only time all year we do presents and I just go crazy. I always say lets do a trip or an experience but then some how the tree is filled up underneath and I’m trying to remember how it got so out of hand…
“Removing the excess so God has room to move through us”
That is some powerful stuff, Erin. It might have to be my new mantra. I just love it-on a literal, physical level, and even more figuratively, from an emotional aspect. So much truth in those eleven words.
I’m currently struggling with keeping a birthday party for my little one in check, and remembering that the day she was born is about the gift we were given when she became ours. Man, why is that so hard? Writing it out makes me feel crazy to even want to make December 15th about anything other than our little family.
I am trying to create more white space around Christmas too. How did the conversation go with the grands when you asked for less gifts? I need to do that, but I’m not sure how to do it without hurting feelings.
Sometimes we struggle with family members who love to give gifts. We appreciate their thought so much and I don’t want to be rude and take the fun of giving away from them, but we also don’t want to let their toys get out of control.
Like others we struggle with family members giving too many gifts. In particular my grandmothers (my son’s great grandmothers). I’ve tried to tell them to scale it back, but in my family it’s taken as disrespectful and ends up causing everyone to be mad during the Christmas season. Which is worse than too many gifts. Still I’m going to make suggestions that maybe help to scale things back this year.
I could not agree with this anymore!!!!
Last year, while we didn’t get out of control, the kids still got way too many presents and there are still things in boxes.
Both boys LOVE trains. On a quick trip to Target, Tim and I picked up some $3.29 Circo (target brand) trains and they have been the most favorite toys for the boys. All this planning and finding what the newest and latest toy of the year, just is ridiculous.
We talked the other day about having more “experiences” rather than gifts. We have a family membership to the local train museum….we’ll take them more. We will also take them to local train gardens…possibly, on a train ride through the mountains. That is what they want.
And when I think about Christmas (yes Christmas..not the Holiday), I think about how it was for me growing up. It was about being with family, having lots of laughter and fun and good food and just being together and spending time at Church. That is what it’s all about….not the gifts!!!!!
Erin, I love the idea of having more experiences than “stuff”. We have tried to do that and encourage the grandparents as well. For gifts we’ve done three gifts – three to symbolize the Three Wise Men. It has worked out really well so far. Loving your series.
yes, yes, YES! so well said. my dad, who is also a gifter by love language, has always been good at giving 1-2 meaningful small gifts and letting the rest be the experiences. he has always seeked “making memories” within our family. and honestly..the experiences are MUCH more memorable than the years of toys and what not anyway!
i’m learning a lot from you in my pre-mama days right now! soaking in your wisdom. i love learning from other Jesus loving mamas!!! thank you for sharing your world with people like ME! 🙂
xx
elise
O my….never thought about zoo memberships, etc. I love it!!! I also had forgotten about doing an Advent calendar. My goal this year is for a more meaningful Christmas…and starting traditions.