the blog and the boundaries

Hey, friends. Do you all know how much I value the community here? How much I trust you and care about what you say? And whether you come here and don’t say anything, just knowing you were here means so much to me. And how much I want you all to trust me?

I’m sure that if you’ve been reading here for a long time (I’m approaching my 6th blogging anniversary), that you may have noticed a slip in the transparency.

When I was pregnant with Hudson I was able to freely tell you that it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows and I had no clue what I was doing. And all the pregnancy sickness wasn’t glorious and beautiful.

When he was born, I was able to tell you about my struggles and that my long recovery sent me into such a funk and low place that I just felt cheated out of the beautiful newborn phase.

But as this blog has grown and has become a part of our lives… because, side note, it is part of our lives. Todd’s life, Hudson’s, Hayes’s, my parents’. This blog is real life. Everyone we know either knows about it or reads it. And that’s what I want. I want it to be real. To be a place of accountability and trust.

But. With all of that, I had to reevaluate. I had to give some privacy back to my kids and to my husband.

Some of my stories had to be sacred. It’s so fun to tell you all of the stories and for you to write back and say, “Me too!!” The “me too!” in blogging is one of the very best parts!

And for my friendships? There had to be sacred stories. There are things that I only want to share with my very best friends. Because at the end of the day, this blogging community is important to me, but the physical community, my neighborhood, my church, those doing-life friendships? They breathe life into me.

So while I will always love the community here and always be open and honest with all of you, there just have to be boundaries for me for all the reasons and people I mentioned.

What I do want, and always want, is for you to feel free to come here to connect with me. And for you to see Jesus in me. I fail, fail, fail. But He gives grace upon grace upon grace.

And I pray that you are getting out there and investing in your community, too. Finding your people and sharing your stories.

Five on Friday: golf, flooring, homework, and avocado enchiladas!

Hey, hey, hey! It’s time for Five on Friday with Darci and the gals!

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On Labor Day, Todd and his dad took Hudson to play golf. Hudson got a golf bag and real clubs for his birthday, and he hasn’t had a chance to use them yet. But he got to play on Monday. 18 holes of golf is a lot for a four-year-old, but Todd said he did great and that he loved it. He ate a lot of snacks, but was hitting the ball well, was working on his form, and made great contact with the ball. I’m so excited for him! And he was so proud of himself for getting to go with the big boys.

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I chose all the flooring for the house this week. Hardwoods, carpet for the upstairs, tile for the bathrooms and laundry room. They were all pretty easy decisions, although I second-guessed my hardwood floor choice a bit. With the dogs and the boys, we just wanted the most durable material we could get. I’m excited about the tile!

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I made these amazing enchiladas this week. Make them. You’re welcome! Avocado, chicken, lime, sour cream. Amen and amen.

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I posted this on Instagram and my blog Facebook page (have you “liked” my blog on Facebook?), but I had to help the boys with homework this week. I had to do some little photo collages and interview both of them. Here’s a snip-it of Hudson’s little questionnaire. That boy makes me laugh. His first answer to “what is your favorite food?” was “I like silly sandwiches and coconut.” He just loves to tell stories! But I’m especially proud of his career aspirations.

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My blog and I were featured on the Shop at Home blog this week. I’ve loved Shop at Home for a long time for their coupon and saving tips, and they were sweet to ask me to be featured on their blog this week. I’d love it if you’d hop over there and read it!

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I’d love to hear what’s new with you this week? For real, go make those enchiladas!

where I impress you all with my love for television

Sometimes a blog just needs a day to lighten up a little.

Aside from September bringing football season and the promise of fall on the horizon, it brings the next great thing about fall. That’s the start of a new TV season.

I wish I could assure you all that I’m a really intelligent book worm and I don’t waste my time with TV. But, the truth is, I do waste a lot of time with TV. I stay up ridiculously late and catch up on my DVR almost every night.

I do love to read, but I can’t deny my love for great television.

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So here’s what I’m looking forward to this fall.

1. Homeland 

Please. Subscribe to Showtime just for the next Homeland season. But don’t try to watch this show unless you’ve seen the other seasons. This is one of the only shows that Todd and I watch together, and we just love it.  The season ended on a crazy note, and I’m still holding out hope that Saul is the greatest character ever written.

2. Scandal

I got hooked on this one this summer. I can’t believe I wasn’t always watching it. I love Olivia Pope and all of her white outfits. And the bad guy from Ghost sure does play a great President.

3. Parenthood

Another one that I got hooked on last year. I weep during every single episode. It’s just so good. I want four children because I want their quirky, weird, loving family. And Kristina and Adam are my fave!

4. Nashville

What is going to happy with Tami Taylor and Deacon? Or Rayna James. Won’t she always be Tami Taylor? Seeing Lennon and Maisy every week is enough reason to watch Nashville!

5. Revenge, Grey’s Anatomy, Glee

I stopped watching these three shows at some point last season, and would like to catch up. I didn’t like the new New Directions. I was weirded out after the super depressing plane crash. And the Revenge plot just confused me, and all the Emily/Amanda/Emily stuff was making my head spin. But I’m going to catch up and give them another go!

6. Dancing With the Stars

Yes. It’s true. I love watching it. I especially love watching when I can fast forward through commercials and some of the fluffy stuff. It’s just a fun, mindless one for me. I give it a 10.

I don’t even know what new shows are coming on this season.

So, how about you? What are you excited to see return and what’s new that you plan to watch?

 

the nest

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When we left our house back in November, there was a piece of me that got left behind with it. I’m a nester. Making a home, feeling at home, is my thing.

I am passionate about home. Not a particular home, but having a home. The feeling of home.

We could dissect this all a little bit, and could probably take it all back to the fact that I moved around a fair amount as a kid, and now, as an adult I want stability and home. Roots.

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In November, we left the place that I’d  called home for more than five years. And the place where I first bathed my babies and swaddled them, and tucked them into their bed. It was the place where no matter how lightly you tip-toed in the middle of the night, the creaks in the old floor boards still told stories of the memories held in the house.

But someone else moved in, and we had the amazing gift of moving in with family. Believe me when I say that I do know how much of a gift that is.

And yet, for months, my heart wrestled with the lack of roots. And feeling like I’d fallen from my nest. And then we experienced a tragedy and, again, I wondered what was happening in this whole situation.

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Once we made up our minds about where we would settle down, things did start getting easier. We could see the light at the end of the tunnel. But some big things happened to me this summer.

We had a relatively low key summer. But that was the beauty in it. There were vacations, and VBS, and swimming lessons and all the fun things that a summer holds.

But I had this amazing gift of enjoying my family. I have two beautiful, funny, relatively self-sufficient children who are fun to be with. And we had a whole lot of fun.

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Everyone was old enough to participate in whatever we did. And I just enjoyed the fun. I napped with Hudson, and read just one more book to Hayes every night.

I was present. I took time away from social media. We visited my parents. We got down on the floor and played. We went swimming. We built forts with blankets, and I had the blessed experience of watching my boys become the best of friends.

There were no big life moments this summer. There won’t be anything that makes the summer of 2013 stand out in our memories. No anniversaries or birthdays to celebrate. But it was fun. And I pray that it was fun for these guys, too. Because it was about the four of us.

Hudson and Hayes will soon be old enough to complain every day about being ready for school, and I’ll be ready for that, too. And there were, of course, the moments this summer where the days got a little too long and we couldn’t wait for Todd to walk in the door at 6:30.

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And as we move into fall, and approach our move-in date, it is painfully obvious. That need to nest that I was missing is an earthly thing. Because I can, and I have been, pouring love into my boys every day through this whole experience. Sharing Jesus with them and showing them every single day how important it is to praise God in all circumstances.

I will nest again. But my home is where my family is. They are my nest. They’ve always been here. And my Father has never left me.

No paint swatch, bookshelf, piece of tile, or closet organization plan can separate me from His love. I am His, and He has been working on my heart for the past few months, and I’ve been more than willing to lean into Him.

*All photos taken by Sarah Lyn Photography

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