Hey, friends. Do you all know how much I value the community here? How much I trust you and care about what you say? And whether you come here and don’t say anything, just knowing you were here means so much to me. And how much I want you all to trust me?
I’m sure that if you’ve been reading here for a long time (I’m approaching my 6th blogging anniversary), that you may have noticed a slip in the transparency.
When I was pregnant with Hudson I was able to freely tell you that it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows and I had no clue what I was doing. And all the pregnancy sickness wasn’t glorious and beautiful.
When he was born, I was able to tell you about my struggles and that my long recovery sent me into such a funk and low place that I just felt cheated out of the beautiful newborn phase.
But as this blog has grown and has become a part of our lives… because, side note, it is part of our lives. Todd’s life, Hudson’s, Hayes’s, my parents’. This blog is real life. Everyone we know either knows about it or reads it. And that’s what I want. I want it to be real. To be a place of accountability and trust.
But. With all of that, I had to reevaluate. I had to give some privacy back to my kids and to my husband.
Some of my stories had to be sacred. It’s so fun to tell you all of the stories and for you to write back and say, “Me too!!” The “me too!” in blogging is one of the very best parts!
And for my friendships? There had to be sacred stories. There are things that I only want to share with my very best friends. Because at the end of the day, this blogging community is important to me, but the physical community, my neighborhood, my church, those doing-life friendships? They breathe life into me.
So while I will always love the community here and always be open and honest with all of you, there just have to be boundaries for me for all the reasons and people I mentioned.
What I do want, and always want, is for you to feel free to come here to connect with me. And for you to see Jesus in me. I fail, fail, fail. But He gives grace upon grace upon grace.
And I pray that you are getting out there and investing in your community, too. Finding your people and sharing your stories.
Here’s another “me too!” moment for you then, as I’ve absolutely had to scale back. Aside from our immediate family, most family stories and friend stories don’t ever make it to the blog.
Scaling back has been good. But always giving my friends and parents the opportunity to hear the stories from us before they read them on the blog!
I am a fairly new reader, but I have to say that you are very encouraging & relatable which is the reason I love reading your blog! I think you are right when you say we must make time to invest in our community. Real life relationships are so important! I love the encouragement & community from online, but it can’t replace the friendships that we have in our daily lives.
That is exactly it! Thank you so much for reading. The community and friendships right here at home are so very important to me.
I think it’s excellent to have boundaries and to have some stories that you just don’t write down. Some stories are a little too precious to be written, and others you might not want to forever remember in the way you might write them at the time. Balance is a very good thing.
Thank you 🙂
These are wise words.
I think you’ll find that as your kids get older, what you write for public viewing will change as well. Because as much as we want to record things about our kids…or share our struggles (and there will be struggles)…those pre-teen/teen-age years are so precious. In order for our kids to trust us, they have to know we will protect their privacy.
But, just because you don’t post it, doesn’t mean you can’t keep writing…and, as an “older” mom, I would encourage you to never stop. 🙂 There are many things I’ve written that are just for me…or for my family to have later when I’m gone. OR, for me to look back on even now and remember those honest expressions of life and it’s struggles, and examples of God’s faithfulness thru it all.
Oh yes. I keep thinking about the teenage years. But I love your advice to keep writing in a journal just for me. I think I’ll be glad I did. And my kids will, too.
Boundaries are a good thing! Don’t feel bad about what you do and don’t share – and honestly as a reader who doesn’t know you in real life, we wont ever even know if you leave out a detail here and there! We love hearing about any and all that you are willing to share and there are always people who will connect, but keeping some things out of blog land is fine too! Don’t feel bad or pressure yourself for not posting and don’t ever think that it means you are not being honest and transparent.
I tend to have word vomit in real life and will tell anyone anything. I feel like I am an open book, but my husband has asked me not to post or write about certain things on my blog and I honor and respect him and that.
A verse – a bit out of context, but one that I have prayed for many years over similar situations has been Luke 2:19 and it just says “but Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” I will be praying for you and just for a peace as you look for the balance between sharing with friends (in blog land!) and family and treasuring up things in your heart! xoxo!
Oh I love that verse. The word “pondered” just always sticks out to me. She thought it over and over. She treasured it. She could see how precious it was. I love that!
I love this. I think too often people think that bloggers post EVERYTHING when in actuality, it’s such a tiny slice. Don’t get me wrong, I actually think there ARE bloggers who share everything, sometimes I think they’re the ones who really don’t have friends or a community they’re investing in. But I’m with you. I keep things sacred, most of the things actually. And it’s good that way, for me. xo
I think it’s just important to recognize that blogs evolve and change just as we evolve and change. But it’s still tons of fun!! 🙂
I love your heart. I feel this way BIG TIME. Wish I could spend a day with you. Happy Monday! 🙂
Wouldn’t that be so fun?!
Amen sister! I agree 100%!
As someone who doesn’t have a blog….but someone who loves to read them……I totally agree with you….only share what you are comfortable with…..even in real life, I share edited versions with some others…..simply because it’s precious to me and I’m not sure how they will take it/accept it, etc……and that’s in flesh and blood relationships….not in that big scary world out there…..where I wish everyone was nice and caring and had each other’s best interests at heart….but unfortunately, that is not the world we live in……all that being said…..I hope that nothing happened, no incident…..that brought this post on……blessings!!!
No, no 🙂 nothing happened. It is just a post about something that has been on my heart. Especially the part about investing in our communities and building friendships.
i like how your blog has grown and evolved….right along with you and your family….just as i have in my life, marriage and journey as a stepmom. change is good. you’ve always said that this blog was for you. and was a way for you to document and remember your family life. you can do that in ANY way that works for you – even if that is mostly*off* this blog. most of all, i think i’ve seen your walk of faith grow. that’s a beautiful and enduring blessing. you’re doing great, my friend.
Finding the balance with blogging can be tricky. Being real and transparent but also not feeling the need to share everything as you mentioned. I’ve written numerous posts about my marriage or family, only to end up deleting them b/c I felt I was over-sharing. Sometimes just writing it out is great and then I realizing that actually publishing it isn’t even necessary. I also make sure to ask friends first before posting any pictures of them. Thanks for sharing your heart on a very good topic! 🙂
I totally agree! I blog for myself and my family to keep an account of those things we’re doing. Even though I don’t have a huge readership, like you, there are still many things that I want to keep “sacred.” I have a journal for those things! 🙂
Hi Erin, I’ve been reading your blog for a few years now, and always leave encouraged! Thank you for sharing pieces of your life with us. I really enjoyed reading your articulate post on boundaries and love the idea of keeping some things “sacred.” Great job!
I read your blog now and then…I enjoy your writing and I like reading about you and your family. Totally support being more private…I agree. I am not religious, and I am not a Christian – sometimes when you get a little too “preachy” in my opinion, I just take a break, since that’s not why I read you.
I know it’s probably a small point, but your statement in this post – “I fail, fail, fail” – bothers me. I think you focus on that way too much – we are not perfect, and I’m sure God doesn’t expect you to be perfect, since we are human. Stop concentrating on what you think are failures…and start focusing on your triumphs!
Oh Erin, I totally get it! Things have changed so much over the years with blogging, and I don’t share nearly like I once did. I would like to, but too many people read these days. The worst is when a real life person reads secretly and then brings it up in conversation against you. (People didn’t react well to our move this summer.)