Erin Akin Carroll

I was really fortunate that our October calendar is pretty clear when I committed to writing about white space. We’re finishing up with the building of our home, and we have our regular commitments to our church and our family. But I love that I’m not scheduled to leave town at all this month.

A Saturday with my family is one of my favorite things. Especially a no-plans Saturday.

In design, white space gives the eye an opportunity to rest. In life, white space gives my soul an opportunity to rest. To see the good. The really, really good.

What do I want for today? How will I make the most of my time and leave room for white space?

I want to sip my coffee slowly.

I want to get down on the floor and play Candyland with Hudson.

I want to take the boys to the pumpkin patch to pick out their first pumpkin for the year. And maybe even get our hands dirty carving it!

I want to read my book during naptime while Todd watches football.

I want to get a handle on all of this laundry, and put it away so it doesn’t clutter my space and my mind this week.

I want to watch Homeland with Todd on Sunday night, and catch up on Dateline on the DVR.

I want to look around and see that “this is good.” All of this is so good. It’s not meant to rush and hurry so I completely miss it.

What do you want for your day?

This is day 5 of 31 Days of Creating White Space. You can read the other posts here. 

Before I can set my goals for white space and come up with a good, strategic plan, I have to identify all the things that clutter my heart, my mind, and my home.

Social Media

There. Let’s just get that one out there. I deleted Facebook and Twitter from my phone a long time ago, so I don’t really struggle with those. But I do love me some Instagram. Instagram is a pretty place, though, isn’t it? It’s not noisy. There’s not a lot of negativity. And I can give you a list of Instagrammers who actually share the Gospel in their posts!

But the pull to check in and update clutters my space. Checking my phone for blog comments. Thinking about and brainstorming my next blog post. And then reading other blogs and thinking about those things during the day.

Plans, Commitments, Meetings

Plans to have dinner one night are life-giving to me. But meetings, obligations, and other things that have me running from one thing to the next are not life-giving to me. They take time away from my kids. They stop me from playing in the backyard and from getting on the floor to do puzzles.

Chores

I’m constantly thinking about things that need to be done around here. The paper is piled up. The laundry needs to be folded. Dinner needs to be cooked. All of those things are just part of being a mom and a wife. But I’m not always organized, so I can help myself by getting organized. But the piles and the clutter are common white space stealers.

Toys

There are toys everywhere. Too many toys. And mostly little toys. My kids own’t even know if something “disappears.” They certainly don’t need anything else and they actually do not play well with toys when there are too many toys. Their minds are cluttered and their play space likes white space.

Clothes

In our temporary living situation, we don’t have a lot of closet space. And I just have too many clothes, and I continue to accumulate more. It’s stressful because I can’t find things when I want to wear them, and getting dressed in the morning takes up way too much time. Personal style is important to me, but when I have too many things that just aren’t wearable or comfortable, they’re useless and just take up space.

As we’ve planned our home and watched it being built, I’ve come up with some plans for household organization and management. This takes time and planning, so it doesn’t really seem like I’m creating white space, but the end result is all about white space. Everything has its place. Everything is streamlined. And that gives you all kinds of white space.

These list of items above have gotten some kind of hold in me over the years. They have their ways of controlling me and the way I feel.

These things are not of the Lord and they do not create community or relationship or a loving home.

On Monday, I’m going to lay out the plans and goals for change.

So what about you? What is stealing your white space? What burdens you?

This post is the 5th in a series called 31 Days of Creating White Space. You can read all of the posts here.

I have a confession to make.

One of the things that keeps the white space out of my life is fear.

I am afraid of disappointing someone. I’m afraid that if I say no then I will lose a friend. Or if I say no just one time, I’ll never be asked again to do that thing I was asked to do… that I really wanted to do, but just didn’t have the time to do it at the moment I was asked. Did you follow that?

There are times when deep inside I do want to commit. And there are times that I absolutely do not want to commit. And I almost always say “yes” to committing in both circumstances.

I’m a first-born, overachieving, introverted, people-pleaser. I’m also kind of a wimp.

I do not glorify busyness. I do not think that busyness is fun and I don’t feel the need to tell people how busy I am.

Quite the opposite is true. I’m often embarrassed when I have to tell a good friend that I can’t have dinner or can’t get together to let the kids play because I am so over-committed.

I just don’t like disappointing people. I don’t like feeling left out. And I’m afraid that if I say no, I will let people down and I will miss out on something fun that I wanted to do.

But the commitments don’t always work for my family. One of the things that I am committing to moving away from is the feeling like Todd and I are often like two ships passing in the night.

It’s more fun when we put the kids to bed together. And it’s more fun when we have nights at home reading books and playing hide and seek.

Striving is not fun. Looking for ways to make people happy and creating things to do so that I can get people to be happy with me is just selfish. It’s self-centered and not at all life-giving. That’s just the truth.

“Be a noticer, not a manufacturer.”

-Ellen Parker

I don’t want to keep creating commitments. This is the time to notice the gifts that God has given me and to be truly grateful for them. Not to look for ways to gain more gifts or different gifts. Or gifts like someone else’s who seems to have it all.

I am who He made me to be. I am loved. And there is no one else I should be striving to please above Him.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

And as I step away and make room for margin, I know that He is going to move in that space.

This is the 4th post in my 31 Days of Creating White Space .