life happens in the whitespace

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*Friends, I have a real treat for you today. Treat is an understatement. You will read this and say, “That’s good, right there” no less than ten times. My sweet friend, the talented Whitney English, is sharing her white space testimony with all of you today. You can follow Whitney’s blog and find her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest

life happens in the white space

When Erin asked me to write a spot about creating whitespace in life, I had a great idea for a post rolling around in my head. Unfortunately, I forgot to write it down, and I’ve spent the past two weeks sort of hoping it would creep back to the surface of my ideas. It hasn’t. So, I thought I’d tell you a story.

A little over a year ago, my husband, David, and I found ourselves in a bit of a financial mess. I don’t believe in over-dramatizing things, but I do want to be honest and explain that it was a very serious situation. Almost overnight, our family went from being able to afford basic things, to not being able to afford basics. We had been struggling financially for almost a year before that, and we had lived that year in a state of assumption–that things would get better.

When things took a drastic turn for the worse, our lives were shaken to the core.

We started pinching pennies. A little bit of money would come in, and we’d stretch it as far as we could.

We quit using paper towels. We pushed diapers to last as far as they could.

We cooked through every canned good in the pantry–and it turns out, you can make a cake or a casserole out of ANYTHING!

We didn’t just conserve what we bought–we quit shopping. Just flat out didn’t go to Target, or the mall, or click on anything that would lead to an e-commerce website. The only store we shopped at was Aldi.

If we couldn’t get it at Aldi, we didn’t buy it.

The month after all this happened, I had my third child, and one of my best friends brought us a giant basket of fun kids food for the boys. The treats were simple, but now luxuries–a package of chewy fruit snacks was not a necessity, and would get skipped over at the store.

We bought ONLY what we needed, when we needed it, and not a day before.

And an AMAZING thing happened. It turns out, we don’t need really need that much to LIVE.

By eating what we had in stores, we spent no more than $75 at the grocery store every couple of weeks.

By not walking into Target, we quit being tempted by the end-caps of sale stuff and cute new holiday decorations.

By not being able to purchase new clothes, we started taking better care of what we had.

By not wanting to spend money on consumable products, we adopted practices that were better for the environment.

By not being able to go to restaurants, and eat out, we made adventures out of small outings, packing peanut butter sandwiches, and learned to love the wind in our face. (I’m not an outdoorsy girl, so that’s quite an accomplishment for me!)

If that wasn’t amazing enough, another unexpected blessing occurred. As I started to realize that living with less was OK, that we would survive without a cute new pumpkin from Target, an idea crept into my mind: on top of the challenge of living with less, what if we decreased even more?

In addition to using what we had in stores, what if we started getting rid of stuff?

The year-long purge began. The challenge became: how do we use it up, or give it away?

Cans of paint in the garage were used for fun DIY projects. We white-washed our entire house with one can of old paint! Sure, it was work, but it was a fun project and great time together.

We had garage sales and sold stuff on Craigslist and eBay, and started realizing that we had more stuff than we could get rid of in any one sitting. Talk about an embarrassing realization–so much stuff that you can’t purge it all.

I don’t know if I should be proud of what I’m about to tell you, but I’ve now gone more than a year without purchasing new shampoo for myself. That’s how many little bottles of hotel shampoo and old hair product I had lying around–enough to keep me stocked for over a year.

The end of the story is almost obvious: we survived, and we are better for it.

More disciplined, for sure. More grateful times a million.

The gratitude I found at the bottom of this experience was amazing. When faced with the choice of either liking what you already have, or having to go without, it’s amazing how quickly you decide to like what you have.

The justifications kick in, I promise. The concern about what other people think fades away–simply because you can’t afford to care what people think. It takes just as much energy to talk yourself out of buying the shirt, instead of talking yourself into it. And I learned that the long-term result of buying the shirt isn’t as gratifying as the long-term result of not buying it.

Our society suffers from the burden of abundance, friends. And we don’t know it.

The world will always tell us we need more–but we don’t. We need less.

As I leaned towards minimalism this past year, wholeheartedly embracing the experience of not accumulating more, and adopting the practice of using up what we had, I found unexpected white space, and the gift of a new freedom.

The simplicity of living without stuff attached was a gift that brought gratitude, pushed my creativity, challenged my personal growth, encouraged me in more faith, and gave me the blessing of abundant LIFE, instead of abundant STUFF.

LIFE happens in the whitespace.

Challenge for friends: are the choices you are making pushing you towards abundant LIFE or abundant STUFF?

This is Day 17 of 31 Days of Creating White Space

the great toy purge part II (what happened to the toys)

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With two little boys, we’ve been very very lucky that toys get used twice as much. But it has also been a little difficult to shop for them for birthdays and holidays because no one needs anything.

But with grandparents, friends, family, and parents all buying for them, it had just gotten out of hand. (I have a post coming about Christmas.)

For birthdays, we’ve suggested that in lieu of gifts guests bring a donation to the food bank, a children’s shelter, and just forego gifts completely. And this always works, and we’re so glad that our friends are willing to attend parties to celebrate and know that a gift is not necessary.

After I decided we needed to clean out the toys, I got the boys involved.

Hudson and I decided to have four different categories: donate, storage, KK & Poppie’s house, and RC & PC’s house.

For the donate category, I decided to include things that were either duplicate toys or just don’t get played with. We had about six plastic lions. For a while, Hudson’s favorite animal was a lion. So he got a lion in his stocking or a lion in his Easter basket. And the lions just kept on coming. So we donated a lot of the things that weren’t getting played with.

For the storage category, we included things that are played with, but decided to move toys into a rotation. So the boys won’t have all of their toys at all times. But every couple of months we will bring things out of storage and re-introduce them. We have done this a few times before with some toys after we moved. We brought them back out five months later and the boys went crazy over their “new” toys. Hiding them and bringing them back out is a great solution for us to keep things fresh and new without buying all new toys.

For KK & Poppie/RC & PC’s house (the grandparents), this worked out well. These were toys that they still really like, but don’t always have to have at home. And Todd’s parents and my parents are kind enough to keep our kids overnight and like to have toys at their houses for the boys. So we went through and decided on some toys that could be left at their houses and they’d play with them when they visit.

All of this has helped a lot with creating a more organized play space for the boys, and have more of an idea of what they actually have. And it’s just made it a lot more fun for them to play.

Their favorite toys are their train table, their Legos Duplos, and puzzles.

I want Hudson and Hayes to enjoy playing with their toys and have fun while still being able to take care of their things. We have a different plan for this year’s Christmas, but just like with my closet, any time we get something new, we get rid of something else.

It’s all a work in progress, and my kiddos definitely have the “gimmes” just like every other kid.

What systems have you found that work for you and your kids?

This post is Day 16 for 31 Days of Creating White Space

 

the great toy purge: white space for the kids

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Over the last four plus years, we have accumulated a lot of toys.

Toys for every age and milestone our kids have reached. Toys as gifts. Toys on the random trip to Target. We have tons of books, too, but I’m okay with books. I’m not okay with all the toys.

And you know what’s funny? The same way that I wear the same clothes over and over again and have lots of clothes I never wear, my kids play with the same toys over and over again.

And the clutter and accumulation of toys just leads to messes. They will dump out an entire basket of cars just to find the one car they actually want to play with.

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We have some really fantastic learning toys, but we also have a lot of useless toys and duplicates of toys. At one point I was buying two of everything so the kids wouldn’t fight over it. And you know what? They find something else to fight over.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Luke 12:34

I have made a plan to get rid of more than half of their toys. Why?

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So they take better care of their toys. When they don’t have as many toys, they’ll appreciate the ones they do have and take better care of them. They’ll actually have a mental inventory of what they have.

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With fewer toys, they’ll become more creative. They’ll be imaginative with their toys, and come up with new, fun ways to play with them.

-Three-

Maybe they will actually play with their toys instead of just dumping them on the floor. Right now, they’ll dump out a basket of little superheroes just to look for one. Then there are messes that take up their play space and make it more difficult to actually play.

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They’ll become less selfish and have less of a sense of entitlement. They need to hear the word “no” and know what it means to wait for something they really want, and even save for it when they start getting an allowance.

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The most important thing is teaching them that toys do not make them happy. Material objects are not the source of happiness. And learning this at a young age will help them a lot.

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Tomorrow I’ll talk about how exactly we’ve narrowed it down. What we’ve saved, donated, put in storage, etc.

Have you ever had a great toy purge?

This post is Day 15 in 31 Days of Creating White Space  

 

but what if it's good stuff?

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What do we do when the lack of white space is filled with good stuff? Really good stuff.

Trips to the park with friends.

Soccer practice. That is fun for everyone.

Nights out with other couples.

The greatest outfit you ever tried on… and it was on sale!

Toys for the kids that were exactly what they wanted and put the biggest smiles on their faces.

Half-off books!

A set of gorgeous heirloom dishes that were passed down two generations.

Even your weekly Bible study.

None of those things are “bad” things. They’re all actually good things.

But, for me, they can become white space stealers. It all depends on how they make me feel.

A closet full of great outfits that were on sale isn’t so bad, but when I think about how many items were never worn and how much money was spent, I don’t feel good about it.

Soccer practice is great when I saw my boy smiling and running around with his friends. But then we’re rushing to eat supper and Hayes is crying and it can really mess up the rest of our night.

A trip to the park with friends is always a good idea. We get out of the house and get to run around. But when I find myself saying to my boys, “Hurry up. Get it in the car. We have to hurry,” I know that it wasn’t a good thing. All the hurrying we do steals my white space.

And even on those mornings when we’re rushing off to school so I can get to Bible study on time, I miss a lot of the joy. I want to be at Bible study, but the rushing around and hustling my boys along leaves such a bad taste in my mouth.

None of these things are bad. But if doing it all makes me feel anxious, it’s probably not good for right now.

I like to say yes. We’ve covered that.

But I don’t like rushing around. I don’t like looking at my precious, cheery little 2-year-old and asking him to hurry up.

I don’t like looking around and seeing every surface covered with toys, books, frames, and magazines.

It’s all just too much.

Too much good stuff.

And that just means it’s just not good for us for right now.

This week I’ll be talking about some of the things that we love that need to be reevaluated to give us back our white space.

What good things do you have in your schedule, home, or life that are stealing your white space that you’d like to reclaim?

ecclesiastes 31

 

This post is Day 14 in a series called 31 Days of Creating White Space.

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