*Friends, I have a real treat for you today. Treat is an understatement. You will read this and say, “That’s good, right there” no less than ten times. My sweet friend, the talented Whitney English, is sharing her white space testimony with all of you today. You can follow Whitney’s blog and find her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
When Erin asked me to write a spot about creating whitespace in life, I had a great idea for a post rolling around in my head. Unfortunately, I forgot to write it down, and I’ve spent the past two weeks sort of hoping it would creep back to the surface of my ideas. It hasn’t. So, I thought I’d tell you a story.
A little over a year ago, my husband, David, and I found ourselves in a bit of a financial mess. I don’t believe in over-dramatizing things, but I do want to be honest and explain that it was a very serious situation. Almost overnight, our family went from being able to afford basic things, to not being able to afford basics. We had been struggling financially for almost a year before that, and we had lived that year in a state of assumption–that things would get better.
When things took a drastic turn for the worse, our lives were shaken to the core.
We started pinching pennies. A little bit of money would come in, and we’d stretch it as far as we could.
We quit using paper towels. We pushed diapers to last as far as they could.
We cooked through every canned good in the pantry–and it turns out, you can make a cake or a casserole out of ANYTHING!
We didn’t just conserve what we bought–we quit shopping. Just flat out didn’t go to Target, or the mall, or click on anything that would lead to an e-commerce website. The only store we shopped at was Aldi.
If we couldn’t get it at Aldi, we didn’t buy it.
The month after all this happened, I had my third child, and one of my best friends brought us a giant basket of fun kids food for the boys. The treats were simple, but now luxuries–a package of chewy fruit snacks was not a necessity, and would get skipped over at the store.
We bought ONLY what we needed, when we needed it, and not a day before.
And an AMAZING thing happened. It turns out, we don’t need really need that much to LIVE.
By eating what we had in stores, we spent no more than $75 at the grocery store every couple of weeks.
By not walking into Target, we quit being tempted by the end-caps of sale stuff and cute new holiday decorations.
By not being able to purchase new clothes, we started taking better care of what we had.
By not wanting to spend money on consumable products, we adopted practices that were better for the environment.
By not being able to go to restaurants, and eat out, we made adventures out of small outings, packing peanut butter sandwiches, and learned to love the wind in our face. (I’m not an outdoorsy girl, so that’s quite an accomplishment for me!)
If that wasn’t amazing enough, another unexpected blessing occurred. As I started to realize that living with less was OK, that we would survive without a cute new pumpkin from Target, an idea crept into my mind: on top of the challenge of living with less, what if we decreased even more?
In addition to using what we had in stores, what if we started getting rid of stuff?
The year-long purge began. The challenge became: how do we use it up, or give it away?
Cans of paint in the garage were used for fun DIY projects. We white-washed our entire house with one can of old paint! Sure, it was work, but it was a fun project and great time together.
We had garage sales and sold stuff on Craigslist and eBay, and started realizing that we had more stuff than we could get rid of in any one sitting. Talk about an embarrassing realization–so much stuff that you can’t purge it all.
I don’t know if I should be proud of what I’m about to tell you, but I’ve now gone more than a year without purchasing new shampoo for myself. That’s how many little bottles of hotel shampoo and old hair product I had lying around–enough to keep me stocked for over a year.
The end of the story is almost obvious: we survived, and we are better for it.
More disciplined, for sure. More grateful times a million.
The gratitude I found at the bottom of this experience was amazing. When faced with the choice of either liking what you already have, or having to go without, it’s amazing how quickly you decide to like what you have.
The justifications kick in, I promise. The concern about what other people think fades away–simply because you can’t afford to care what people think. It takes just as much energy to talk yourself out of buying the shirt, instead of talking yourself into it. And I learned that the long-term result of buying the shirt isn’t as gratifying as the long-term result of not buying it.
Our society suffers from the burden of abundance, friends. And we don’t know it.
The world will always tell us we need more–but we don’t. We need less.
As I leaned towards minimalism this past year, wholeheartedly embracing the experience of not accumulating more, and adopting the practice of using up what we had, I found unexpected white space, and the gift of a new freedom.
The simplicity of living without stuff attached was a gift that brought gratitude, pushed my creativity, challenged my personal growth, encouraged me in more faith, and gave me the blessing of abundant LIFE, instead of abundant STUFF.
LIFE happens in the whitespace.
Challenge for friends: are the choices you are making pushing you towards abundant LIFE or abundant STUFF?
This is Day 17 of 31 Days of Creating White Space
Wow, such a wonderful reminder we can live with less. Loving this series and starting to work on creating my own white space!
Reminds me of Jen Hatmakers book “7”. Thanks for sharing.
What a story!! I have been on my own path of purging, and it feels so good 🙂 I have a lot of work to do, and it makes me feel stronger knowing that other women have done it successfully before me! Bravo!
Love this story and perspective, Whitney! And you should absolutely be proud to tell us you used up all those little bottles of hotel shampoo. Mine are precariously piled in my bathroom closet and fall on my head every other time I open the door. I think I’ll take a page from your book (planner?) and use those up before I buy any more.
Whitney- I NEEDED to read this today. I have slowly but surely caught myself spending more and more money on “stuff” we most certainly do not NEED, and then have to cut corners towards the end of the month. I’ve never lived paycheck to paycheck, and if I continue on this route, that’s exactly where I’ll be. THANK YOU so much for sharing this. It is so helpful to read your story and know that it CAN be done!
Erin- Thanks so much for featuring Whitney today! And I have REALLY enjoyed your white space series!
Whitney- you are seriously speaking to my heart, girl. I think this need for More More More is so much further perpetuated by blogs and the facade of a “perfect” life we see in Instagram and elsewhere. At no other point in history have women and mothers had so many bases for comparison as we do now. It’s no wonder it breeds constant feels of inequality and inadequacy. Thank you for coming forward and speaking the truth that we all know deep down, we just don’t want to acknowledge 🙂
and Erin- thank YOU for this series!! I’ve always followed along in your journey and taken your parenting and homemaking tips to heart, really valuing them, and it’s so great to see someone else who wants to pare down all of the excess to get to the really good stuff. It’s definitely easier said than done, but I think the reward will be well worth it 🙂
Wow, this is a great post! My husband and I struggle financially too, and it’s almost like we don’t want anyone else to know it, so we try to act like we’re not. I’m always so envious of all the cute boots and leggings and sweaters everyone buys around this time of year, but I just can’t afford it. Thank you for this great reminder today! It’s nice to be reminded that I don’t always have or need to have what everyone else does.
Thank you so much for this post! Such a great reminder for me today as I am in the midst of getting ready to move to a new home. The purging needs to begin. I also need to go through and deactivate emails that come from all the stores advertising their new clothes and sales.
I love this. It is so inspiring to start using what we have. I seriously want to post this “The world will always tell us we need more–but we don’t. We need less.” on my refrigerator to remember all day long. We bring too much home every time we go out shopping and we really don’t need any of it. It’s awful.
Yes, yes yes!!! Purging is so good for the soul. I already went through one big purge this year but I’m getting close to having another. Moving to a smaller space has definitely given me more of a reason to do so but I realize I’m less distracted, more productive, and happier when there is less STUFF and more LIFE. xo
“We just could not afford to care about what other people think…” One of the most powerful statements I have heard/read in a long time. It does not have to even be about money…sometimes we cannot afford to care because we cannot afford to be stressed about how others judge us….or how caring about how we appear to others leads us into competition and makes us feel inadequate and ungrateful. So powerful. Thank you.
What an amazing post – thank you for courageously sharing this story and inspiring others. I will surely be taking your words to heart and challenging myself and my family to take a closer look at the abundance which surrounds us instead of looking outward for more.
Excellent post, Erin and Whitney. I absolutely loved this….especially this line, “Our society suffers from the burden of abundance, friends.” AMEN. Thank you for sharing.
THANK YOU. I loved 7, too and this reminded me of it. I am encouraged by these words as we struggle financially. Knowing there’s an end in sight but trying to focus on what God truly intends by NOT having anxiety is a struggle. Pure joy is found in Him….in His white space.
Thank you for this.
~Amber
Oh my goodness! I have read your blog several times but just looked at your About page. I’m from SOUTH CAROLINA, too!!!!
We are Clemson fans, though. 🙂
Anyway, I just got so excited.
Sorry…:)
~Amber
There’s more awesomeness in this post than I can shake a stick at. Thank you!!!
Thank you for sharing ladies! It’s amazing how some of the most difficult lessons are the most valuable. Sometimes blessings come in disguise when they are thrust upon us, but WOW-so very inspiring.
Now off to seek and soak up some white space of my own…
AMEN. Thank you so much for sharing your story! My husband and I are both graduate students right now and our budget is very tight. It is so inspiring to hear how you turned a difficult time into a beautiful time and I hope that we can manage to do the same!
Whitney, thank you so much for sharing this. My husband and I are going through a tough spot financially right now, and are learning every day how to live on less. Our situation is not as serious (yet) as what you and your family went through, but we feel like we are definitely going against the grain sometimes in a society in which abundance is celebrated. Your story is so encouraging, and is such a wonderful reminder that good things come from even the toughest of challenges!
What a fantastic testimony of how to thrive on less! I love the part about how you stop caring about what other people think b/c you don’t have the money to care. Sometimes I get frustrated trying to make it on a teacher’s salary, but then I also think it’s forcing us to learn some great life lessons!! Thanks for sharing!!
I needed to read this today!!! THANK YOU for sharing this!
AMEN to this!!! It’s amazing what we’ve come to believe we “need”. Our financial situation changed of course when I started staying at home and we looked at things in a whole new light! I loved your statement that “our society suffers from the burden of abundance.” Do we ever!
Great post – I think we could all use this reminder and outlook daily!!
Love this story. Thank you for sharing!
This is an excellent reminder. What a beautiful story.
whitney! thanks for sharing your beautiful, inspiring story. i can’t express how much it moved and spoke to me. you are an amazing wife and mother – not to mention an amazing person, woman and writer.
I just came across your blog today and I’m so glad I did. I love to shop and for the past year we’ve had to cut back on our expenses and it really puts into perspective your WANTS and NEEDS. So well said, I’m off to catch up on the rest of your series.
I desperately needed to read this! It hit home immediately and has continued to stick in my head in the days since. I really wanted to share with my husband but wasn’t sure how to prime him for “white space” — he’s a smart guy but wondered if he’d really “get” it. Then in church on Sunday our pastor talked about needing to create white space or a “margin” in all aspects of our life – work, family, relationships, finance, etc. – and I knew this was a message I needed to share. I’ve since past it along to my husband and we’re really going to work on this. Such a beautifully worded post!
That Whitney is one smart cookie. Thank you for sharing your life lessons. I’m listening.
What an amazing testimony! Thank you so much for sharing your heart. Not 10 minutes ago, I had written in my prayer journal asking God to help our family to learn to live with less to give us discipline to be happy with what we have and to show me what we can do without. His timing is so AMAZING. So thankful to serve a MIGHTY SAVIOR!