Last week I felt like I was on a runaway train. If someone asked me what was wrong and I had to vocalize the list of small problems, nothing was really all that big of a deal. But when they were all compiled, I felt like I’d last control.
I was rushing from one thing to the next and not enjoying a single thing because there wasn’t any time for enjoyment. I had a long list of things to do and fires to put out, and I was on a mission to get the things done. And it sucked the life out of me.
Back in October, I wrote for 31 straight days about the importance of white space and margin in my life. I need that space to hear the stories my children are telling me. I need it to get down on the floor and play with them instead of saying, “Just a minute” over and over again. I need that space to recharge my batteries when my kids rest instead of rushing to the next thing or jumping on a call.
I’m not exactly sure how it happened that week. We had a birthday, we returned from a 12-hour road trip late at night, our contractor was fixing a few little things on our punch list and there was a big miscommunication, and then we had an inconveniently full calendar.
And in the midst of all of that, my insecurities ramped up. I wasn’t spending time on any of the things that fill me up, and I used that as an opportunity to look around and went down the rabbit trail called, “Being ‘just a mom’ isn’t valuable and you need to do things that are more important.”
That above paragraph? That is a lie. I know that it’s a lie. I know that what I do is important. But when I’m not giving God the space and the time to speak into me and for me to hear His word, I will listen to the lies.
I decided to get really detailed about how I’m going to set boundaries to keep my white space. I came up with a list of my core values, passions, and purpose. If something doesn’t fit into the list, then I say no. And it has been easier to say no because of these boundaries.
The goal is to be able to give my time and my emotions to the things that are most important to me and where I can use my strengths. Every volunteer opportunity isn’t for me, but this list helps me see which opportunities are for me. Which trips I should take, what projects I should take on, and even how to say, “Right now is just not a good time for me.”
For my family and for my ability to listen to the Lord’s plan for me, I have to set boundaries so I’m not frazzled and frantic and also so I can serve and listen and be present.
