A lot of people offered unsolicited advice about pregnancy and motherhood and I tried to let a lot of it go in one ear and out the other. One of my mom’s clients, however, offered some unsolicited advice via email and I printed that email off and saved it. She was a new mother at the time and was basically letting me know the lessons that she was learning as a new mom.
These are the things I’ve learned so far. I’m not suggesting that anyone use what I’ve learned, but I’m using this as an opportunity to track my thoughts and using it as a bit of a journal.
You’re on your own timeline, schedule, and comfort level.
Other new moms may have gone out to dinner with their new baby when they were just two days old. Some have been taking them to church when they’re only a week old. It all depends on what works for you. We have taken Hudson to three places: his doctor, my doctor, and my in-law’s house. One reason is because I ended up having another follow up surgery after the delivery and have been put on bed rest except for taking care of the baby. Leaving the house and driving wasn’t an option until yesterday. Tomorrow Hudson will be four weeks old and I think we’re going to venture to a baby-friendly restaurant for the first time. I have to try not to let myself think, “Wow, so-and-so was out with her baby weeks ago and we’re still at home. I hope nothing is wrong with us.” I remind myself that all that matters is what makes us comfortable. And right now I’m enjoying just being home with our baby.
Don’t forget about your dogs.
This has been really hard for me and I’m shocked. Our dogs were the loves of my life before the baby came and they’re still really high on my love list. It’s just so hard because Fiona (the little one) really wants to cuddle with the baby and cuddle with me. She can because she’s small and she’ll fit on the couch. Poor Boudreaux is so big that he just has to sit on the floor and watch. His tail wags really big when he gets close to the baby and I’m so excited about the day that Hudson is crawling, laughing, or walking so he can interact with Boudreaux. Because I’m still recovering, I can’t take the dogs (or the baby) for walks and we’re all just cooped up inside. That will change soon, but I just feel bad for changing the dogs’ life so drastically. They sure do love him, though!
Your life is going to change. Accept it.
The days of checking my Google Reader ten times per day are long gone. The days of responding to an email right when it comes in are gone. The same goes for returning phone calls. I used to seriously wonder why it took my mom friends so long to call me back or email me back and now I know. If you’re not a mom, it’s not a good feeling to know you owe so many people a phone call. Also trust me that you don’t want me calling you back when you’d have to have a baby screaming in your ear. It’s better to just wait with me for a quiet moment.
Your husband wasn’t born with “the instinct.”
This is very true and I’ve heard it’s true for all husbands. Women have a way of knowing what the baby wants or needs while men need to be reminded, “His diaper may need changing.” It’s okay, though. We all have to learn and figure it out our own way.
Your baby is always listening and learning. Talk to him.
I sing and read to Hudson constantly. And I love it. The easiest way to quiet him is to sing softly in his ear and within ten seconds he stops and just stares at you while you sing or read. He knows his mommy and daddy’s voices and seeing that recognition on his face is priceless and wonderful.
Just as Hudson is learning every day, so am I. The mommy job is the hardest job I’ve ever done and there’s never a dull moment. Heck, lately there’s not a free moment. Kudos to all the mommies out there that I’ve unconsciously underestimated. What is the best advice that you would give a new mom?
