weeding through the advice

Today’s post is part of the series of posts I’m doing with Huggies to discuss pregnancy and baby’s first year. I wanted to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of getting so much advice when you’re pregnant and after your baby is born.

What kind of advice did you receive when you were pregnant or when your baby was born? How did you weed through the good advice and the advice that drove you crazy?

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Find more posts from bloggers sharing their experiences of motherhood on the Huggies page on BlogHer.com.

what's in my beach bag?

We leave for the beach soon and I am in the midst of packing everything up for everyone. One of my favorite things is packing my beach bag and day dreaming about just sitting on the beach.

I have the Lands’ End Extra Large Zip Top tote. I love it because of its size. I can fit all of my stuff in it plus the boys’ towels. There is so much space in this bag! I also love the zip top. It helps keep the sand out of the bag and keep things in the bag dry.

So what’s in my bag this year? (*this doesn’t include all the fun beach toys, sunglasses, towels, noodles, and sunscreen for Hudson and Hayes)

1. Reef flip flops, 2. Gamecock National Champs Tervis Tumbler, 3. J.Crew Cover Up, 4. J.Crew Hat, 5. Handheld Water Misting Fan, 6. Target Beach Towel, 7. Pure & Free Baby Sunblock Stick, 8. Twilight (thanks to my friend Kristen!)

What’s in your beach bag or pool bag this year?

a doc band update- the final stretch

It has been such a long time since I’ve updated on Hayes’s doc band experience and progress. The only reason for that is that it has become such a normal part of our lives that I often forget he’s even wearing it.

In the first two weeks that he had his band, I was really self-conscious about it anytime we’d go out in public. I wanted to shield him from people that might stare too long at church or a restaurant. If I was shopping, I knew that someone would stop and ask. And really, in those first couple of weeks, I was not only the most self-conscious, but that’s also when the most people actually asked about it.

The only negative experience I had was when we were walking at the State House grounds one day and we passed by a group of 3rd or 4th graders on a field trip. A little girl shouted to her classmates, “Look at that baby’s head! What’s the matter with him?!” And my mama bear protective instincts really started to kick in. I wanted to say something to her, but I just looked at her and smiled. I wanted to say, “Where is your mother so I can have a chat with her?” But I didn’t.

And that was the only negative thing I’ve heard anyone say. We’ve had a lot of curious little children come up to me and just ask what the “helmet” is for and I try to explain the best way I can.

But after a couple of weeks, I stopped even remembering that he was wearing it. I didn’t worry about what people thought, because I didn’t even notice it. It’s just a part of him right now.

Our experience with the kind folks at Cranial Technologies has been wonderful. We got the doc band in the beginning of March. For two months, every two weeks, Hayes and I (sometimes Hudson, too) would drive up to Charlotte very early in the morning for Hayes’s appointment. We were always seen within 5 minutes of arriving and when just doing adjustments, the visits were very quick. We were in and out in twenty minutes. And I’d always stop at the drive through Starbucks in Fort Mill, SC on the way back to Columbia while Hayes napped in his car seat.

At the end of April, we were notified that Cranial Technologies was opening a small satellite office in Lexington, SC, which is just down the road from us. So our two visits this month have been just ten minutes away from our house as opposed to the 90 minute drive we had to Charlotte every two weeks.

At our visit on Tuesday morning, we found out that Hayes just has 2-4 weeks left with his doc band! I’m so excited. His head has grown 3 centimeters over the last three months. I can tell a very noticeable difference and I can’t wait to share the “before” and “after.”

For the most part, Hayes doesn’t mind his band a bit. It doesn’t bother him to sleep in it and it has served as a great “crash helmet” as he has learned to walk. The only downside at this point is the heat. So whenever we go on a walk in the middle of the 90 degree day, I usually use that time for him to get a break from it.

If I notice that he’s sweaty underneath, I’ll take it off to let him cool off. When we went to the aquarium and the zoo and spent a lot of time outside in the heat, I left the doc band in the bottom of the stroller, so Hayes didn’t get too hot. He has had a few little episodes of heat rash on his forehead, but it goes away within a few hours. We were told to leave the band off when he has some heat rash.

It really has been a wonderful experience. I’m eager to see the final results. The time flew by and I’m so impressed with my little trooper who wasn’t even fazed by it. His hair is a little funny right now and sticks up at the top of his head, but when the occupational therapists slick his hair down, I can really see how symmetrical and round his head is looking.

I hope that our story will encourage other mamas who are having to decide whether or not to do this. We’re thankful that insurance ended up covering it because that was truly our biggest concern. But we’re in the final stretch and I’m really proud of how well my happy baby boy has done.

feeding expectations

Throughout my pregnancy with Hudson, many women would ask if I planned to breastfeed. I’m not exactly sure why that is a common topic for small talk (I’d rather talk about the weather, to be honest), but it was a common question. And I always told the women who asked that I planned to try to breastfeed.

Hudson took to it like a champ. But he was a hungry little booger and weighed almost 10 pounds at birth, and I couldn’t keep up with his demands. He lost a good bit of weight before we left the hospital. His bilirubin levels were elevated and he had to have some phototherapy at home. We had weight checks daily for the first three weeks of his life, until he finally got back to his birth weight.

After countless visits with the lactation consultant, it was determined that we had to supplement with formula for Hudson’s sake. So we did. And he started gaining weight again. I did the nursing/supplementing combination for six weeks before we went straight to formula because I stopped producing milk completely.

When Hayes was born, I was even more determined to make breastfeeding work. I’m not sure why I set myself up for it again, but we experienced the exact same thing: a large baby who lost a lot of weight because I couldn’t make enough milk for him.

When the nurse at the hospital told me that Hayes really needed to get some formula before he lost any more weight, I fell apart in the middle of the hospital hallway. I had just gone on my “mandatory lap” around the hall as part of my c-section recovery. I was tired. I was stressed because I knew that nursing wasn’t going all that well with Hayes. And I knew that my milk hadn’t come in yet and I had a very hungry baby who, in my mind, was being starved by his mother!

By the time my milk came in, things changed a little bit. I was making enough for him, but Hayes was a “lazy eater” and wasn’t doing the work to get the milk. I started pumping so I could give him a bottle and he’d stop falling asleep during feedings. This time I was only able to do the pumping/bottle feeding/supplementing combination for three weeks before the demands of all of it caught up with me.

I know now that I was being too hard on myself. But isn’t so much of motherhood filled with moments where we’re too hard on ourselves? Both of my boys are healthy and I only occasionally get sad that breastfeeding didn’t work out with them. But I am so thankful that formula was an option. They’re growing, they’re strong, and I think they’re pretty wonderful!

Finding my way to figuring out what was going to work for my kids, keep them happy, and keep their bellies full took a while. But we did find a solution that worked for us. What surprises did you face when feeding your baby? Did nursing come easily for you? Did you struggle with the decision to use formula?

Check out the Huggies Mommy Answers Facebook app!

Find more posts from bloggers sharing their experiences of motherhood on the Huggies page on BlogHer.com.

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