Erin Akin Carroll

why vacation is bittersweet

Aug142012

It’s no secret that my heart breaks a little bit each time I say goodbye to my family. The distance is hard and even with time, lots of time, the distance doesn’t get any easier. The distance has shortened and lengthened and shortened again over the years, but it’s still there.

I can get to my parents’ house in 10 hours without stops. And it would take me a good two days to get to my brother’s house. But this is why we make it a point to have visits scheduled throughout the year. Our unspoken rule for the last decade has been that we don’t say goodbye to each other until we have another trip on the calendar.

Our next scheduled visit happens to be when they’re in the Greenville area this fall, and I’ll get up there to see them later this fall when I attend the Influence conference. And sometimes many months go by before we see each other, but we do what we can.

And we have been so fortunate this summer to have been able to spend two weeks at the beach with my family and with Todd’s family. We spent a week at Isle of Palms, South Carolina earlier this summer and we just returned from Orange Beach, Alabama.

Our trips aren’t full of plans. We eat lots of sandwiches and cook every night. We keep it easy for the boys and easy for us. We take naps on the porch and on the beach. And some days we stay in our pajamas until noon.

But each year, I’m more and more aware of how quickly time passes. And it’s more and more important to me to spend that time with people I love. To unplug and to just sit and laugh. Or just sit next to my mom while she’s reading her book and I’m reading mine.

Our family isn’t perfect and we have our share of squabbles. But we genuinely enjoy being near each other. We laugh at the same things and get each other’s jokes.

I can remember each time we left my grandparents’ house or a beach trip with my grandparents, they would always cry and my parents would cry. Sometimes I would cry, but I was a kid and didn’t really understand why everyone was crying.

There is more of an awareness now. An awareness of time. An awareness that babies grow quickly. And a sadness because I know they’ll have changed so much before we see each other again.

The time goes so quickly. I have a three year old now and it literally seems like he was a newborn yesterday. My parents don’t get to see him every day like I do. So I’m aware of how quickly the time must be passing through their eyes. And how it must feel to look at your almost 27 and 30 year old babies and wonder where on earth the time went?

We don’t have the luxury of living in the same cities. But these trips are so very precious to us all. My kids got an incredible week with their grandparents and we all got a week together. It was really wonderful.

So it’s hard to feel sad about the distance when we have times like this to look forward to.

But even with the promise of a great visit ahead on the calendar, I can’t stop the tears when we say goodbye. I still feel like the 9 year old being dropped off at summer camp. And the 17 year old being moved in to the dorm for college.

It’s part of life. And I’m thankful for it. But I’ll continue to check off the days on my calendar until I can hug them again.

May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other.

Genesis 31:49

our trip to the PGA Championship

Filed Under: Every Day, vacation

Aug132012

Well, I’m back. Back from “La La Land,” I keep saying. My head has been in the clouds for over a week now and it’s time to snap out of it. Our vacation was absolutely wonderful, but now I have to face reality and get back to our regularly scheduled life.

On Saturday, we made the full 9.5 hour drive back from Orange Beach, Alabama. When we got to town, we dropped the boys off at Todd’s parents’ house.

A few weeks before we left for the beach, we were given the opportunity to attend the PGA Championship at Kiawah Island, South Carolina, and we were invited to a skybox on the 18th hole. We hated to pass up such a fun opportunity, and Todd’s parents were so nice to keep the boys for us on Saturday night and Sunday.

After we dropped the boys off on Saturday, we came home and unloaded the car and started the unpacking process. We haven’t been alone in our house overnight in years. It was the strangest feeling!

On Sunday morning, we got up early and hit the road. We stopped by Starbucks on the way out of town because we were out of coffee creamer and we really wanted some coffee.

Kiawah Island is about 20 miles away from Charleston. So it takes us a solid two hours to get there on a normal day. But with all the PGA traffic, it took closer to 3.5 hours to get there.

But look at the wonderful drive. The road that leads to the island is just so beautiful!

When we were invited, of course the first thing I thought was, “What am I supposed to wear?” I had never attended a major PGA event before, and since we were going to be in a skybox for some of the day, I wasn’t really sure what to wear. I opted for a lightweight dress and flat sandals so I could stay cool and my feet would be comfortable.

Todd is a huge golf fan. He loves to play, he loves to watch on TV, and he especially loves Phil Mickelson because he’s a fellow lefty. We had a great time yesterday. Cameras weren’t allowed inside, but I had my iPhone for pictures.

And we had such a spectacular view of the 18th hole and the ocean!

It was a hot day, but we enjoyed some yummy food. We saw some incredibly talented golfers finish up the PGA Championship on the 18th hole. We got to spend a gorgeous day outside looking at the Atlantic Ocean from Kiawah Island. And I got to meet the governor! I’d never experienced anything like this, so I’m really grateful for the opportunity.

The best part of the day was getting to end our vacation week just the two of us. It’s rare that Todd and I get not just one, but two nights, to ourselves to be able to catch up and go do something fun together. (And I ran into my dear friend Misty when we caught the shuttle bus back to our cars!)

When we left Kiawah, we drove into Charleston for the night. We stayed downtown and walked over for a delicious low country supper before crashing in the hotel room after watching The Newsroom. It was a perfect weekend for a couple of tired parents!

How how you all been? I promise there are tons of beach pictures coming soon! (Maybe that’s not a good thing? Ha!)

did you know?

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Aug102012

Did you know that I’m on Facebook?

I’ve been trying to update more on Facebook and would love to connect with y’all over there, too!

And I’ve decided that I’ll be using Facebook to share fun coupon codes and specials that readers and sponsors send my way to share with other readers since I’ve not doing much of that on my blog anymore.

I’d love to get to know more of you over there! I’ve gotten so bad about responding to emails. I do eventually get to it, but I’m always embarrassed at how long it takes me. This way I can communicate much faster and from my iPhone!

So here’s my Facebook link!

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Today is our last day at the beach and we’re in a serious state of sadness. We’ll be making the most of every minute of this day and will be spending it in the sand and enjoying each other’s company.

And if you haven’t read Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. Do it now! It’s so good.

I choose freedom {a guest post by Ellen from sweetwater}

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Aug92012

Note from Erin: I first met Ellen when I had her precious son in my 3-year-old Vacation Bible School class at our church. A couple of days later, I saw a picture of Ellen on Naptime Diaries. I emailed Jessi to ask how she knew Ellen and then Jessi helped Ellen and me get connected on Twitter. Gosh, I love the internet and how it makes the world seem so much smaller! A couple of days after that, I ran into Ellen at a women’s event at church. Since then, Ellen has been a huge source of encouragement to me. She is incredibly wise and has encouraged me so much as a writer and as a mom. I’m so excited to get to share her with all of you today! Please hop on her over to her blog so you can get to know her better.

Ellen Parker blogs at sweetwater where she writes about small joys, everyday messes and the sweet things in the middle.

Just the other day, I pulled into a Starbucks parking lot, whipped out my phone and took a picture of the sky. That’s right. On a busy suburban road, right across the street from the mall where every sixteen year old in the vicinity probably rolled her eyes at me. Next it will be tube socks up to my knees and fanny packs. We might need to call the Grandma police.

But. The thing is it was beautiful and I needed to remember it. Because it was perfect.

Perfect is something that has haunted me much of my adult life. It’s an endless winding road of try and fail. And mostly pitfalls. It’s every morning is an opportunity and every afternoon is filled with not enoughs.

And now that I have been being a human for all of thirty five years? I am finally starting to understand just a little bit how to take perfection chasing off the throne of my life.

It starts with understanding that God is perfect. He just is. And I can’t be. And He doesn’t want that from me. Christ has already covered that for me anyway. So. Now? I am only slightly embarrassed to hold my little phone camera up to a blazing sky in front of the free world. Because I need to remember over and over that the God who makes absolutely beautiful sunsets is the God who loves me; complete and perfect in every way.

This dethroning comes, too, when I’ve come up short. It comes when I’ve been every bit not enough or not like so and so or I’ve just plain made a mess. I’m learning to think in this way: this deep down hurt like sick feeling of fear because I can’t measure up to unrealistic expectations? Christ already felt the weight of that. When He offered himself up for me, He was crushed under the weight of all of my not good enoughs. Yours, too. So I don’t have to feel that crushing weight. And I can say no to it. No to it.

It’s a funny thing. Because all that perfection chasing has really just been chasing freedom and peace. And the very way to find it? Is to lean into my weaknesses so that I can lean into who He is. That’s it. I’m not enough? Help me trust your grace, Lord. Let me wrap myself up in it. It’s the same whether I’m the world’s best at everything or just a mess of a thing. And it’s surely the same when I’m, like, totally old and stuff with my phone pointed at a sunlit sky.

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