It’s no secret that my heart breaks a little bit each time I say goodbye to my family. The distance is hard and even with time, lots of time, the distance doesn’t get any easier. The distance has shortened and lengthened and shortened again over the years, but it’s still there.
I can get to my parents’ house in 10 hours without stops. And it would take me a good two days to get to my brother’s house. But this is why we make it a point to have visits scheduled throughout the year. Our unspoken rule for the last decade has been that we don’t say goodbye to each other until we have another trip on the calendar.
Our next scheduled visit happens to be when they’re in the Greenville area this fall, and I’ll get up there to see them later this fall when I attend the Influence conference. And sometimes many months go by before we see each other, but we do what we can.
And we have been so fortunate this summer to have been able to spend two weeks at the beach with my family and with Todd’s family. We spent a week at Isle of Palms, South Carolina earlier this summer and we just returned from Orange Beach, Alabama.
Our trips aren’t full of plans. We eat lots of sandwiches and cook every night. We keep it easy for the boys and easy for us. We take naps on the porch and on the beach. And some days we stay in our pajamas until noon.
But each year, I’m more and more aware of how quickly time passes. And it’s more and more important to me to spend that time with people I love. To unplug and to just sit and laugh. Or just sit next to my mom while she’s reading her book and I’m reading mine.
Our family isn’t perfect and we have our share of squabbles. But we genuinely enjoy being near each other. We laugh at the same things and get each other’s jokes.
I can remember each time we left my grandparents’ house or a beach trip with my grandparents, they would always cry and my parents would cry. Sometimes I would cry, but I was a kid and didn’t really understand why everyone was crying.
There is more of an awareness now. An awareness of time. An awareness that babies grow quickly. And a sadness because I know they’ll have changed so much before we see each other again.
The time goes so quickly. I have a three year old now and it literally seems like he was a newborn yesterday. My parents don’t get to see him every day like I do. So I’m aware of how quickly the time must be passing through their eyes. And how it must feel to look at your almost 27 and 30 year old babies and wonder where on earth the time went?
We don’t have the luxury of living in the same cities. But these trips are so very precious to us all. My kids got an incredible week with their grandparents and we all got a week together. It was really wonderful.
So it’s hard to feel sad about the distance when we have times like this to look forward to.
But even with the promise of a great visit ahead on the calendar, I can’t stop the tears when we say goodbye. I still feel like the 9 year old being dropped off at summer camp. And the 17 year old being moved in to the dorm for college.
It’s part of life. And I’m thankful for it. But I’ll continue to check off the days on my calendar until I can hug them again.
May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other.
Genesis 31:49
Okay, this post just made me bawl. Every summer we used to spend a couple weeks with both sets of grandparents in Columbus, Oh. In the houses where my parents were raised. I ALWAYS remember my mom crying as we drove back to Virginia and I didn’t understand either. I am going to Columbus in September one last time as just “me” before my son is born in November. I know I’ll be crying when I leave..
I normally only see them once a year and it is just too hard!
Hi Laura,
I remember my last time with my parents before Hudson was born. Oh goodness. I cried so hard! You officially have to grow up. 🙁
I know exactly how you feel….my parents are 5 1/2 hours away and I still get a lump in my throat every time I leave them.
Alright, that one made me teary. I was born and raised in Texas but moved to Boston five years ago to finish school. My boyfriend (who is from Massachusetts) and I have been dating for five years and are on the road towards getting engaged, so I’m fairly certain we’ll end up settling in this area. My family and I are incredibly close, and regardless of how many times we may make the trips back and forth to visit each other, the goodbyes never get easier. I suppose in a way it’s an example of how much we all love each other– I’d feel pretty silly if I could hop on a plane with a smile on my face and be happy to say goodbye. It’s always encouraging to me when you share thing like this because y’all make it work! It may not be easy but it’s nice to see that someone out there is somewhat in the same position and manages to make the most of what you can 🙂
You definitely just make the best of it and schedule visits as often as possible 🙂
I can’t imagine how hard that must be. I complain that my family lives 2 hours away and we get to see them only once a month or every other month. I’m so glad that you had a wonderful trip and that you were able to spend some time with the fam.
Love this. My family is just about bat nuts crazy and I feel the same way every time 🙂 They’re still my family and time with them is so special!
My parents and only brother live in Europe. Since I live in Texas, it’s a 24 hour travel day to get to them and my brother is moving to Korea this fall so the last time I said bye to him I didn’t know when I’d see him again. My Mom and Dad have seen my three year old in person four times in his whole life. I thought it would kill me when they moved, but it’s been something of a blessing to see how not having them here has extended and deepened our relationships with the church family God has provided us…and made us appreciate the family relationships we do have nearby. I also met a good friend right about the time my parents moved who, at 30, had lost her mother to cancer and it made me realize that I was lucky my mom was only half a world away. She may not ever have been at Frazier’s birthday parties, she’s missed Christmases and Thanksgivings and Easters, but she was still able to share them with us…if only from afar. And even that is something to be grateful for.
Oh Randi. It’s so good to hear from you! I can’t imagine how hard it is to be so far away from your family and not know when the next visit will be. It is so wonderful that our church family has taken you all in. I love this so much about the Body of Christ and this is what it truly means to be a family. But I know that when you do see your parents and brother again it will be so sweet. And I agree. My parents have missed a lot of the little things and memories along the way, but I am lucky that my mom is still with us despite her melanoma and that we are able to tell her about all of these fun experiences even if she can’t be there in person.
Tooooootally know what you mean! I just said bye to mine yesterday, but knowing I will see them again in 2 weeks makes it all the better. Looks like y’all had a fun trip! We are wanting to go back to the Gulf this upcoming summer. I haven’t been since high school!! XO
So glad y’all are getting so much time together to be with your sweet daddy. Miss you!!
I feel that way about time we have with family too. Chad’s family is in Denver and mine are in Kentucky. Time spent with them is precious indeed!
What a sweet post, Erin! It’s so easy to tell from your pictures and what you write in so many of your posts how much you love your family. I’m glad you had so much fun together, and I just love the pictures of Hudson on the waterslide. How precious. Also, what a fabulous picture of you and your mom! You look so much alike!!! 🙂
Aw, Erin I’m tearing up. I know the feeling. Although my mom is only about 15 minutes away I fee anxious about her going back to work next week (she is a teacher). I’ve really enjoyed spending time with her this Summer and I’m going to miss our days together.
We’re lucky to have families we love so much.
I love knowing that even with family nearby you, you still experience the same emotions. We’re not alone. 🙂
Another day, another mascara application down the drain. Thanks a lot, Erin. 😉
I got so emotional reading this. Even though we are so fortunate to live 12 miles away from my parents, I get all kinds of teary when saying goodbye to my sister or my in-laws after a visit. Time between visits is just too long.
It’s 2012 … shouldn’t we be able to “beam” ourselves places by now?! Come on, NASA!!
Yes! NASA needs to get their act together!! Sorry I forgot the mascara disclaimer today! 😉
Your post captured my emotions perfectly! I leave tomorrow for my senior year of college…and I just hate saying goodbye. I thought it would get easier as the years went on, but it still makes me cry every time! It’s nice to know that I’m not alone on this! Thank you!
Hi Maureen, Good luck this year! Hopefully your first break will be here before you know it and you’ll be hugging your parents hello soon!
I LOVe this post. I always feel the same way about good byes and hate being that far from my family.
This post seriously makes me so sad. We used to live only about 30 minutes from my parents, and we now are about 5-6 hours depending on how many stops we make especially since we have the kids. I love spending time with my parents, and I hate to leave. Usually, I’m ready to get home, because my husband doesn’t get to come with us, but I miss my parents so much. I miss having babysitters close by, so we can go out every once and awhile. I miss just seeing them and letting them be able to watch our kids grow. I can so relate, and it makes me so sad.
It is sad. I hate it for all of us. But I do know that are visits together are SO wonderful and I think it’s because we don’t see each other as often.
Oh friend, this totally made me boo hoo… My mom just left this morning, you’ve taken the words right out of my mouth! I’m so sorry that all the fun is over, but so happy you have another visit on the calendar already. We’re so blessed to have family we WANT to spend time with, aren’t we? I hope you treat yourself to something yummy today to cheer you up and ease that inevitable post-vacation letdown… Big hugs! Love you!!
I’m so sorry you went through this today. Crying with you, my friend!
It is hard to leave our families! I miss mine too and even a long drive with 2 kids does not seem that bad when my parents are at the other end of the trip.
I just moved home for that very reason! The goodbyes were killing me and my 4 year old! We are in heaven and God gave us a house 2 streets from my parents! 🙂
You have such a great family, so they are easy to miss! I cry everytime I leave my family to head back to Chicago!
Aw Erin. This is such a sweet post. I have tears in my eyes thinking about how hard it must be for you to be so far away from family. Although my family is right around the corner, I used to live in Florida and NY–and cried EVERY time (sobbed) I would leave my parents. I can’t imagine how much harder it is with children. I love the verse you included, and I know God is with you during those tough moments! xo
It’s like your in my brain! lol I’m crying right now because I just left my family and every time I leave them… I bawl and am usually down for a couple days after we leave. We live in Ohio and they live in Queens, New York.. It’s also about a 10 hour drive… We lived two hours away from them a year ago, and it seems that now we are seeing more of each other than we ever did. I don’t know why…,we have just been making more effort to get out there and I think also because I stay home now, I have that freedom to drive out there with the boys and spend a week here or there. It is so hard to be away from family! Awesome post! Thank you for sharing your heart. I can so relate!