I see a lot of stereotyping around the blogosphere. Some moms are accused of being too positive. Some moms are accused of being too negative. Some moms are praised for keeping it real even if it is negative while others are criticized for writing with the same language. It’s tough to find a good balance. We all want to share our realities.
Because, let’s face it. The days are hard. They can be really hard. Especially when you’re new at it. Any time a new person is added to a family, boats are rocked. Little lives are changed and big lives are loaded up with more responsibility. It’s just part of the routine.
It may take a year or two to create a new routine and find your new dynamic. And for some people it just comes more easily. A new baby is born and they’re out jogging around the block with a quadruple stroller the next day. No big whoop.
It wasn’t that way for me when I lived in that season. The months after Hayes was born (and honestly the months right before he was born) were tough for me. I was tired and stressed. I felt completely out of control.
But if I walk around with an attitude that says, “I’m not very good at being a mom. I know so many things better than I know how to be a mom,” I’m not going to get any better at it.
If I put my kids to bed at night and spend the rest of the evening thinking about how hard it was, why would I want to get out of bed the next morning and do it all over again?
So, sure. Some days are hard. There are days when very little gets accomplished and the boys just spend the day whining and crying. And there are days when everything runs smoothly the way I like and I’m just so excited about how great life is.
Some days I walk around like a zombie and have no desire to do anything other than collapse on the couch when they’ve gone to bed. And there are other days when I feel like the Energizer Bunny and want to write and I want to cross things off my list.
Focusing on the positive may not completely change the reality, but it may help my outlook on the reality. Kids are loud. They talk back. They don’t obey and they make me angry, frustrated, and sad. That’s all true.
But why focus on any of that? Do I really want to introduce my kids to someone and immediately follow up and say, “They’re a real handful!”
I’m not even really sure what I’m getting at here. But there will be days when I need to vent. But I also really want to remember the good stuff. I want to relate to other moms who are in this season and get down on the bad days and feel proud on the great days.
But this summer, I’m aiming for simple fun. For fewer distractions and lots of togetherness. And meltdowns will happen and it won’t be perfect. But I don’t expect perfect. I just expect my kids to be themselves, and I love them for who they are. So how could I focus on anything other than the positive if we’re all just trying to have a little fun together?
