When my sweet friend, Amy, emailed me yesterday and told me she’d be doing a blog topic called “Getting Real” and wanted me to participate, I started to worry. I’ve always kept it real on my blog and have been about as open as possible about my struggles and worries. But this time I know that Amy was looking for us to do it to encourage others and I just started to worry about what I would say.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I was mostly worried because when I think about my struggles and insecurities and things that have weighed me down over the years, I can immediately think of about ten different things. Which one would I write about?

I dated someone seriously in high school, but didn’t date anyone in college. I just knew that I’d go to college and meet my husband and that didn’t happen. Those were sad times. I was overweight for all of college and had one girl in particular who liked to point that out to me. That was a sad time. Would I ever lose the weight? I’ve gone through a rough time here in Columbia after friends moved away and TC and I were engaged where I couldn’t seem to find my place. And then again after we were married and had Hudson. And you know what? Every struggle and every prayer has been answered in God’s time.

The biggest thing I can say about not dating in college and those years of insecurity and doubt is that He was saving me. There was the perfect man for me out there and I wasn’t where I was supposed to be just yet. And I did lose the weight after some hard work and a lot of time.

But the thing I’m going to talk about today is finding my place. My value. My purpose.

You all know my recent struggles with being a SAHM. I love being home with Hudson every day and I know exactly how important that is. But I was also finding that I needed to be needed. And that’s the truth. I don’t know why, exactly, but who doesn’t like to be needed? I was becoming more and more insecure when I would think about some of the talents that I left behind and had chosen to stop using.

So I started plugging myself in more in every way that I could find. Various church commitments, activities for Hudson, Junior League commitments, etc. And that was all good, but I have been so incredibly busy lately that I’m starting to realize just how overwhelmed I am. And more commitments means that I spend more nights away from home or more time responding to emails and making phone calls.

And you know what? It took a very loud message from our Pastor during his sermon recently when the Lord told me, “a full calendar doesn’t make you important.”

Shouldn’t I just know that because He died for me, I am important? How much more important do I need to feel?

And then I look at my perfect and precious little boy and think, “Why would I want to fill my day with anything other than being with you?”

I know we all need activities away from home just as working mothers need activities away from work. I totally understand that and I’m not saying at all that I plan on quitting anything that I’ve started. But God has shown me that I have been foolish for spending so much time looking when my value and self-worth should have been plain as day to me all along.

My full calendar and extra bits of cash from my side job are not going to make me feel better about getting out of bed in the morning if I’m not seeing how important He already thinks I am. And I have to believe it, too!

Last night during Bible study, we were watching Beth Moore on video and she directed us to Acts 21:24, in which Paul says, “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me– the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”

What I think of my life should mean nothing to me. I know that the Lord Jesus found me to be so important that He died for me. What I think doesn’t matter one little bit!

I know that not all of my readers are Believers and my prayer is that this post isn’t a turn-off for you. But this is my heart and I wanted to share it today because there may be just one other person that has gone through the same thing.

In the past few weeks I have re-prioritized and have found that not only am I less stressed, but I am also not looking for ways to be stressed. I don’t need to add a thing to my calendar and I don’t need to get phone calls from people inviting me to do things to feel loved and important.

I want to encourage all of you to visit Amy’s wonderful blog today and if you are a blogger and want to share your story, you can link up there to her post. There are quite a few really honest posts that have already been linked up and maybe one of them is something you need to read.

This giveaway is really special to me because Jason Barton, one of the members of the band 33 Miles, is a very special family friend. It has been so much fun to watch his dream of performing and doing it for the Lord become a reality. The new 33 Miles album, Today, is being released today and I’m giving away two autographed copies from Jason Barton and Chris Lockwood. A lot of you may have already heard “Where I Wanna Go” on Christian radio!

It also includes a bonus Christmas Album! And, believe me, these are the incredible voices you want to hear singing Christmas songs throughout your house this season.

To enter, just leave a comment on this post! I’ll announce the winners on Friday!

For those of you that aren’t familiar with 33 Miles, I’ve included a bio so you can catch up!

We were born as strangers in a strange land. Our lives are but a vapor in the grand scheme of millenniums. But there’s far more to life for us, as Christians. “We’re citizens of high heaven!” (Philippians 3:20, The Message).

The trouble is, we don’t often live like we know it!

For Chris Lockwood and Jason Barton of 33Miles, it’s that pursuit of a Christ-focused, heaven-minded life that fuels everything they do, especially their music. Intensifying the message of their previous release, One Life, 33Miles shifts musical gears with Today, amplifying the truth that to make every day count, we’ve got to live with eternity in mind.

“Nothing we can accomplish in business, no amount of education—nothing compares to Jesus,” says Chris, “But how our salvation translates to how we live today is the question. To wake up every day and make the choice to live with heaven in mind, to not let the circumstances of this day override that choice. It’s easier said than done, but getting up every day and trying makes it more and more possible.”

Produced by Ian Eskelin (Stellar Kart, Francesca Battistelli, Starfield) and Nathan Nockels (Passion, Point of Grace, Watermark), Today—releasing October 5 on INO Records—features 10 pop progressive, but church accessible songs to remind us that we are meant for more than life on autopilot.

“One Life was such a broad stroke, obviously one that touched people, but we wanted to narrow that down to our everyday reality,” Jason says. “So it came down to, ‘What are we doing to live for Christ today, to make a difference?’ A lot of people live for the future, and a lot of people live in the past, but very few people tend to look at their lives and think about what life can be like right now.”

That message had been immanent for the Dove-nominated group over the past few months, as one of their original members, keyboardist Collin Stoddard, followed God’s calling into worship ministry full time. “For five years, it’s just been the three of us,” says Chris. “But I think God had been preparing Collin’s heart, just as he’d been preparing us. As his heart was headed elsewhere, our sound began to change.”

If you listen closely, you’ll hear influences well beyond the Rascal Flatts stereotype applied to 33Miles in days past, a wall of sound reminiscent of artists like Coldplay, Train and One Republic. But that wall never overshadows the message.

“Musically, we may be pushing the envelope in terms of what might be expected,” Jason says, “I think there’s a good balance of what we know works. We didn’t reinvent the wheel here. The classic sounds are still there, the harmonies, and the lyrical content is still strong and clear. But it’s definitely a step forward.”

From the vibey fun opener “What Grace Looks Like,” to the soaring first single, “Where I Wanna Go,” an 11^th hour selection that seemed to add the missing exclamation point to the entire CD, to the powerful benediction of “Worth the Wait,” Today features some of the group’s most personal songwriting to date.

For example, “Live,” a song Jason wrote for his sister, boldly declares: You’re worth enough that he died for you / His heart burns with love and desire for you / Don’t be afraid to receive / Don’t be afraid to believe that you can live… live!

“My sister is a school teacher,” he says. “She lives in our hometown, and is just one of the most beautiful people in the world, with such a big heart. But over the last five years, she’s started to lose her enthusiasm for life. She’s been in and out of bad relationships, and somehow she just got caught up in the lie that she’s alone in all this, she began to give up. I wrote this song for her to say, ‘This is not what you were created for! You were created to live!’ That is the message Jesus died to deliver: God wants us to live life to the fullest.”

“No Greater Love,” holds a special place in Chris’ heart, in part because it moved him more than any song in recent memory. “The cross is at the heart of Christianity, so it saddens me that there are so few songs about the cross. I didn’t really pursue this song; it pursued me. Every time I tried to put it aside, I couldn’t let it go. Just trying to picture myself there, watching the torture of our Lord, brought me to my knees to ask, Who am I that you would come and die / I don’t understand / Why the God of all the universe would become a man / to redeem the mess that I have made, take away the shame of what I’ve done / There is no greater love…

“Hold Me Up,” is a powerful reminder that Christians aren’t expected to have it all together. Our strength comes in learning to rest in God’s hands. “I don’t need to wait until I’m on the floor falling apart to let him have it,” Jason says of the message. “There will be times when circumstances beyond our control hit and knock us to the ground, but if we allow God to hold us up, we can get through.”

Perhaps as much as any song on Today, “Where I Wanna Go,” the first single released in August 2010 to a wide reception on Christian radio, carries the message of the entire collection, challenging believers ‘to live like the future resident of heaven you will become,’ as one of Jason’s friend’s recently posted on Twitter.

“We need to regroup and refocus, to unplug from all the distractions that keep us from living like we know who we are,” Chris explains. “Despite our circumstances, we are people of faith. And like all those listed in the ‘Faith Hall of Fame’ in Hebrews 11, we have to live today as citizens of heaven. They didn’t receive the fruition of all they believed in, all they’d struggled to accomplish. But they kept the faith because they knew they were meant for the world to come. That should be our goal: to live with eternity in our hearts.”

It is actually taking a lot out of me to sit down and blog today. There are so many things I’d rather be doing and need to be doing, but Hudson is napping and I have a quick ten minutes to sit down and write. I blog for our family and to keep a reminder for ourselves of what was going on, so I’d hate to look back and see that I went a week without blogging.

Hudson has been really sick. Besides waiting on these huge molars to finally break through, he has his first ear infection on top of extreme congestion. He just hasn’t been happy at all– and that has made both TC and me extremely tired. But he’s on antibiotics and getting better every day. I have kept him out of Little Gym last week and will do it again this week and he won’t be going to his school or to his music class this week either. I just don’t want to risk getting another baby sick and another mom having to go through this.

Despite his sickness, we had a good weekend. We celebrated TC’s dad’s birthday by hanging out at their house, eating, and watching football. Hudson had a great time getting a change of scenery. He especially loved running around their big yard. And he only threw one temper tantrum when we were over there.

The temper tantrums are the latest thing around our house and I’m just praying they are short-lived. My sweet little obedient baby is now getting his feelings hurt whenever he doesn’t get his way. Please tell me this goes away soon. We do our best to just ignore the tantrum and redirect his attention to something that he can do, but I’d appreciate all the advice any of you can offer.

I hope you all had a great weekend and are facing a good week. Hopefully I won’t go quite as long without updating again!

There seems to be so much going on right now that I thought this kind of post might be a little bit easier.

1. While Hudson was at school this morning, I worked on a couple of Junior League projects I needed to finish. Except I need to know how to use InDesign. Either that’s my option or Word needs to give me more formatting options. I was ready to pull my hair out. I may be calling in some back-up in the form of incredibly kind, former coworkers that have skillz in InDesign and Illustrator.

2. Poor Hudson is teething. At least I hope he’s teething and that’s the cause for the runny nose and the fussiness. He’s not running a fever- he’s just pooped. But he is still so stinking cute even when he’s not feeling well. I could just eat him up!

3. We’re doing the Beth Moore “Living Beyond Yourself” Bible study right now and we met last night. I am absolutely loving this study and the verse that stuck out to me the most last night was Galatians 5:26, “Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.” I highly recommend this study. I have a friend who said she’s doing it at home alone without a group.

4. I got word last night that I’ll have the first grade choir to myself again tonight. Oh my, this is just new territory for me. I’m used to my 15 month old and was hoping I could ease into the first grade age group. I’m getting hit with 35 of them at once! I’m just going to try and help them stay active and embrace their high energy by doing high energy activities with the music. The kids are coming from school where they’ve been sitting still all day. I know it’s hard for them to come sit still for 40 more minutes. Tips are appreciated!

5. Can we discuss my excitement over the cooler temperatures? And the rain? From what I’ve seen on the news, almost everyone is getting cooler weather. It’s a great time of year.

6. We’re also leading into my favorite time of year which is also a super stressful time of year. I have such a hard time juggling the expectations and responsibilities of the Thanksgiving and Christmas season. It’s impossible for us to be in two places at once and I want everyone to be happy. And I want it to be fun. I know I’m not alone in this and all married gals deal with it.

7. After premiere week, it looks like TC and I (mostly me) are going to eliminate a lot of the new shows we were testing out from our DVR. Most of the new shows didn’t hold my attention and I really wasn’t interested in seeing another week of them. I’ve already given up on Outlaw, Running Wilde, Blue Bloods (because my DVR didn’t catch the whole thing), My Generation, and Chase. That may be over half of the shows! TC and I loved the Britney/Brittany episode of Glee and we’re enjoying having the original The Apprentice back. And that’s all we’ve been watching together–other than Dateline, of course. And we’ve both been falling asleep on the couch regularly!

8. There a few greater things than a spotless house. Maybe chocolate chip cookies could be better than that. And a free weekend with no plans? And fitting perfectly into your size 4 pants. (That hasn’t happened for me in almost two years.)

NOTE: I do not fit into my size 4 pants. I’m just saying that’s a good feeling when you do!

Hope y’all are all having a great Wednesday!