Today has been kind of a hard day for me. After being here with us for just over three weeks, my mom went home today. We were so unbelievably blessed to have her stay so long with us to help me.

When TC got up and headed to work every morning, he knew he could work his usual long(ish) hours without feeling guilty because he knew that the boys and I were well-cared for at home with my mom’s help.

I have very strict instructions to not lift Hudson, who is now 33 pounds. So I have really appreciated my mom being here to give Hudson what I can’t and pick him up and hold him or change his diaper.

She doesn’t live close by, so just coming over to hang out on a Saturday has never been an option. Her long visit flew by, just as Hayes’s first three weeks have flown by.

I enjoyed having someone to talk to all day while we played with Hudson and Hayes. Some days we didn’t get out of our pajamas and some days we’d sneak in naps while the boys napped. She did our laundry, helped us with meals (when our sweet Sunday school friends weren’t providing them), and helped get both babies bathed and in bed every night.

I appreciate her wisdom so much as I learned how to take care of two babies at once. I will never forget how much she encouraged me as I wondered how I could do it all or in the days when we couldn’t figure out why Hayes wasn’t gaining any weight.

My mom sacrificed so much of her time and put her own life on hold, with my Dad’s loving blessing of course, to help me, as only a mother can.

I didn’t put on makeup when I got dressed this morning because I knew the airport drop-off would be teary. And it was. I still feel like a child when I say goodbye to my mom, but this goodbye was full of more gratitude than sadness. I don’t know how I can ever thank her enough and I hope she always knows just how appreciative we are.

Though I know it will be hard, I am looking forward to figuring out my new daily routine and getting started with our fun new life as a family of four. I’m trying to stay organized and take things one day at a time. I’m only focusing on each day as it comes– and may have to take my mom up on her offer to call her in the middle of the night when I’m up feeding Hayes if I need a little encouragement!

• I just gotta start off by saying that this pumping, formula-feeding, breast milk-in-a-bottle-feeding thing is for the birds! It consumes my life and I feel like a cow. I won’t be doing it much longer. I’m okay with that decision.
• I feel like I am being pulled in a million directions every day. Hudson to Hayes and Hudson to Hayes and Boudreaux and Fiona. Thank goodness my mom and brother are here. I was without “help” for one day last week when my mom left town for the weekend and TC was at work and I seriously watched the clock until TC came home. I remember feeling the same overwhelming feelings when Hudson was born and I was alone with him for the first time, so I know this feeling will pass and I will become a pro. I just hope I become a pro sooner rather than later!
• I realize I can’t be everything to everyone, but I think it’s normal to want to be the best mother I can possibly be. I want both boys to get as much of me as I can give. I want to have a lot left at the end of the day to give my husband.
• I am only showering about three times a week. Judge away!
• It would be really awesome if my wedding and engagement ring fit again soon. My fake/back-up ring gets the job done, but I miss my rings!
• Do you check out new mothers’ ring fingers when you’re out? Because I do. My fake ring is missing a couple of fake stones. I hope the other people who look at ring fingers didn’t notice!
• TC got me a really great case and wireless key board to go with my iPad. It’s a totally functional case and I love it, but I got my Cambria Cove catalog this week and I’ve got my eye on this Stephanie Johnson case. You know how much I love Stephanie Johnson.

• Hayes is the sweetest little boy, but he has decided that sleeping more than two hours at night isn’t for him this week. I’m hoping that he’ll change his mind and go back to three or four hours at a time.
• Hudson continues to make me laugh every day and even though he pitches lots of fits and has lots of temper tantrums, he is the sweetest little boy. I am so proud of him, but I can see him growing up a little bit more every day now that he’s a big brother. I’m going to try not to cry about that.
• I have gotten lots of enjoyment out of the following things on TV: Justin Timberlake on SNL, the Celebrity Apprentice, The Voice, and a full DVR of Real Housewives, Pregnant in Heels, and Bethenny Ever After.
• I hope to be a better blogger. Life is just bonkers and I wish I had more time to sit down at the computer. I have worked it out for Hayes to nap while Hudson naps, but showering, cleaning, responding to emails, and napping have been higher on my list than blogging. I don’t want to miss documenting Hayes’s early days though.
• Both boys are happy and healthy and pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself. Let’s end this brain dump with a couple of pictures of Hudson and Hayes!

We were supposed to be taking Hayes’s newborn photos and Hudson’s two year photos along with some family photos with Tracy Turpen today. I was so excited! Hayes is at a great age for photos because he sleeps so much and puts himself in the cutest little positions.

I had laid out everyone’s outfits for the perfect comfy, home photos. And then this morning, Hudson woke up with a fever. He had to miss his picnic at school and I had to call Tracy to reschedule our photos.

But the bigger concern than missing the picnic and post-poning the pictures is that Hudson is contagious and Hayes is so young. Because I can’t drive yet, my brother drove Hudson and me to his doctor so he could get checked out. Fortunately, he just has a cold, but he is contagious. So we had to call for back up.

Fortunately, TC’s parents are in town. My mom is still staying with us helping me out during the day, so TC’s mom came and picked up Hudson to keep him at their house until he is fever free.

It’s just part of our new normal. I know that with two babies there is even more opportunity for us to have to change our plans because someone is sick or someone skipped a nap and is grumpy. Getting out the door alone is going to be a challenge. I just have to remember that God always has his own plans and sometimes I can feel him telling me to slow down and to change my expectations. Things won’t be picture perfect and won’t go as planned. I need to remember to be kind to those I live with and remember that life happens and there are only so many things that I can control.

I can’t say that our days around the house are glamorous at all. I can’t even really call them exciting. In fact, when my brother called right after we got home from the hospital, he asked what we were doing that day. I believe the response was something like, “feeding, burping, playing, pumping, and sleeping. And then repeat.”

And his response was, “well, that’s sad!”

It made me laugh a lot because it doesn’t seem at all sad to me, but I can totally see how it’s not a desired way for someone else to spend their day.

Juggling two babies has been a bit of a challenge. Especially because I can’t pick up Hudson for a few more weeks. He holds up his little arms and wants to show me something, so he says, “show me, show me. Hold you!” And I have to call for back-up for someone else to come pick him up so he can show them what he wants on a higher shelf.

Thanks to his big brother book from Nina, though, Hudson understands that he is a big help to me and that there are lots of things he can do that the baby can’t do.

With my pumping and feeding schedule, I do feel like we’re kind of living a Groundhog Day kind of life these days. We pump, feed, play, sleep, and get a couple of things done around the house and then start all over again. It’s all very temporary, I know, and these days are fleeting. Which is exactly why I’m not complaining about it. I know how quickly it will be over and I’ll be wishing for the sweet, simple days at home.

When Hudson was born, we napped when he napped. Now, when Hayes naps, we play with Hudson. It’s a very different experience with the second baby.

But each day, I’m trying to take lots of pictures and soak up the time with both boys. Hudson is at such a fun age that I don’t want to miss a thing– because everything is hilarious.

Hayes is only this tiny for so long and I want to take advantage of the days when he’s willing to lie still in my arms for hours– even though I know I should put him down!

I wish I had more pictures to share– life just gets so hectic that I forget to slow down and take pictures. I promise I’ll try to be better.