the song remembers when

On the way home from the beach last weekend, I read Emily Giffin’s new book, Where We Belong. (I really enjoyed the book and would recommend it to any gal looking for a good, quick read.)

A few chapters of the book take place back in 1995.  Songs from 1995 were referenced and my mind naturally went back to 1995.

In 1995, I turned 13 years old. We started the year living in Louisiana, and by the beginning of the summer we had picked up and moved to Indiana. I felt like Indiana was in the middle of no where. I was surrounded by corn fields. There were basketball goals in every driveway. And I didn’t know a soul.

I was a rising 8th grader and almost a teenager that summer. I was an awkward-looking 12 year old. I had a weird bob haircut and I hadn’t really settled into my body yet. I had just said goodbye to all of my friends in the world and rode in our minivan to our new home.

We spent a good 12 hours in the car and listened to a lot of songs on the radio. The music of 1995.

Sitting in my new room in my new house, spending a summer hanging out with my little brother because neither of us had any friends yet, I listened to a lot of radio. And we watched a lot of MTV and VH1.

And I’ll never forget those songs.

Songs like Kiss From a Rose by Seal. And Hook by Blues Traveler.

Waterfalls by TLC and Hold My Hand by Hootie and the Blowfish.

Songs that turned bands into one hit wonders like Roll to Me by Del Amitri. Or As I Lay Me Down by Sophie B. Hawkins. Of course there was You Are Not Alone by Michael Jackson. And Strong Enough by Sheryl Crowe.

Still, to this day, when I hear any of the songs from that year, I am flooded with the memory of emotions. The feelings of loneliness and fear. I felt excitement and incredible anticipation. And dread. And the fear and nerves of starting a new school and trying to make friends.

I can almost smell the way my new school smelled on that first day when I hear any of these songs. I remember what it was like to ride a school bus for the first time and hear those songs on the radio.

It’s unclear whether or not I could name the songs of 1996 or 1997. I don’t even really know what songs were really popular when I finished high school. But the pop culture of 1995 is still so fresh in my memory.

I took a couple of trips back to Louisiana that summer for youth choir tour and church camp. I wrote a lot of letters to my friends and I eagerly checked my mailbox every single day for letters. And I saved every one I received. (This was a couple of years before email was a mainstream thing.)

I cried a lot that summer. There was actually a Tropical Storm Erin that summer, and my parents joked with me that it was really me and I was just crying enough to create a tropical storm.

1995 is a huge mark on the map outline of my life. I learned how to start over. I learned that I can be brave and that my home is where my family is. Because of this, I’m not afraid of the possibility of following my husband where ever God wants to take us. And I’m just as open to the idea of living in this great town for the rest of my life because that’s where my family is.

And that summer, I really, for the first time in my life, remember what it feels like to trust in God that He knows the plans for us and that He is going to take care of us.

My brother and I have talked about the songs of 1995 before and the strong memories we have just from hearing the songs on the radio.

But all these thoughts just because I read Where We Belong and Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town was referenced. Oh, the memories.

Is there a song that does that for you? Or a year of music that brings back strong memories like that?

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

interacting with your newborn

When I was pregnant with Hudson I got the best unsolicited advice I never knew I needed. It was from my mom’s client at the time and she had recently had her first baby. Her baby was about six months old, and she wanted to pass along some pearls of wisdom from another new mommy.

One of the things she said to me was, “Talk to your baby.” I thought this was funny because, obviously, I would talk to my baby. Don’t we all expect to talk to our babies?

But she was right and her words stuck with me. When Hudson was so tiny that he was just kind of lying on his play mat or sitting in his bouncer, I realized it was up to me to give him some meaningful interactive time.

So I talked to him. When I was cooking supper and he was in his bouncer just looking at me, I’d tell him all about what I was doing. Of course he didn’t understand anything that I was saying. He didn’t know what I meant when I said I was chopping onions or when I told him that the onions are white. He didn’t know what I was saying when I’d tell him why I was washing my hands, but I told him anyway. Just so I could talk to him.

And he’d just look up at me with wide eyes and give me the occasional grin. Eventually he started to “coo” back at me.

When we’d go to the grocery store he would be in his infant carrier and he’d just be looking at me. We’d walk down the canned foods aisle and I’d talk to him about pasta and green beans. When we got to the produce section I’d show him that the cucumbers were green and the carrots were orange. I’d tell him how many carrots I picked up.

I can’t say that this taught him how to count or helped him learn his colors, but it just gave us some interaction with each other. Because he was my buddy. He was my constant companion for outings. He was my cooking buddy and my walking buddy. So I wanted to talk to him about our day and what we were doing. I wanted to tell him all about where we were going and let him look at the dogs we passed on our walks.

At first I thought it sounded silly that this girl advised me to just “talk to your baby.” But it turned out to be a great piece of advice.

But my most favorite way to interact with my babies happens at bed time. When we’re sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery and reading bedtime stories, singing songs, and saying our prayers. Those little moments will be in their memories and especially mine as something we always did together starting when they were just newborns.

What are some meaningful ways that you interact with your babies?

why vacation is bittersweet

It’s no secret that my heart breaks a little bit each time I say goodbye to my family. The distance is hard and even with time, lots of time, the distance doesn’t get any easier. The distance has shortened and lengthened and shortened again over the years, but it’s still there.

I can get to my parents’ house in 10 hours without stops. And it would take me a good two days to get to my brother’s house. But this is why we make it a point to have visits scheduled throughout the year. Our unspoken rule for the last decade has been that we don’t say goodbye to each other until we have another trip on the calendar.

Our next scheduled visit happens to be when they’re in the Greenville area this fall, and I’ll get up there to see them later this fall when I attend the Influence conference. And sometimes many months go by before we see each other, but we do what we can.

And we have been so fortunate this summer to have been able to spend two weeks at the beach with my family and with Todd’s family. We spent a week at Isle of Palms, South Carolina earlier this summer and we just returned from Orange Beach, Alabama.

Our trips aren’t full of plans. We eat lots of sandwiches and cook every night. We keep it easy for the boys and easy for us. We take naps on the porch and on the beach. And some days we stay in our pajamas until noon.

But each year, I’m more and more aware of how quickly time passes. And it’s more and more important to me to spend that time with people I love. To unplug and to just sit and laugh. Or just sit next to my mom while she’s reading her book and I’m reading mine.

Our family isn’t perfect and we have our share of squabbles. But we genuinely enjoy being near each other. We laugh at the same things and get each other’s jokes.

I can remember each time we left my grandparents’ house or a beach trip with my grandparents, they would always cry and my parents would cry. Sometimes I would cry, but I was a kid and didn’t really understand why everyone was crying.

There is more of an awareness now. An awareness of time. An awareness that babies grow quickly. And a sadness because I know they’ll have changed so much before we see each other again.

The time goes so quickly. I have a three year old now and it literally seems like he was a newborn yesterday. My parents don’t get to see him every day like I do. So I’m aware of how quickly the time must be passing through their eyes. And how it must feel to look at your almost 27 and 30 year old babies and wonder where on earth the time went?

We don’t have the luxury of living in the same cities. But these trips are so very precious to us all. My kids got an incredible week with their grandparents and we all got a week together. It was really wonderful.

So it’s hard to feel sad about the distance when we have times like this to look forward to.

But even with the promise of a great visit ahead on the calendar, I can’t stop the tears when we say goodbye. I still feel like the 9 year old being dropped off at summer camp. And the 17 year old being moved in to the dorm for college.

It’s part of life. And I’m thankful for it. But I’ll continue to check off the days on my calendar until I can hug them again.

May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other.

Genesis 31:49

 

strong willed city!

Note from Erin: My friend Courtney is sharing her heart with you today. I have talked about Courtney before, but here’s a little bit of background. She is the super talented creator behind Lil Light o’ Mine ABC scripture cards, which are just one of my absolute favorite things for kids and families. She also writes a beautiful blog for moms and I encourage all of you to check in with her daily because she has some real wisdom to share. She has a heart for the Lord and for raising families in the word. 

So, in my house. It’s a battle of some strong wills. We have three girls with serious personality and a gracious dad who just holds us altogether somehow.

Some days, it’s Larson’s world and we’re all living in it.

Some days, it’s Ella’s world and we’re living in it.

(Not sure where these poses are coming from – that’s another post.)

Some days, it is DEFINITELY mom’s world and you better live in it or else…

Very few days, it’s poor daddy’s world… like Father’s Day and his birthday.

And, the sooner everyone figures out the game plan or whose will is stronger on that day – the smoother we are operating. It is funny to me that I am writing this for public viewing and admitting it.

In my head and my heart, I know that the easiest way would be to surrender control and the reigns to God. I have these same battles with Him. I believe I’m more capable of the timeline and the plan and the tiny details of our lives. Then, something will happen that lets me know LOUD & CLEAR that nope, in fact, it’s God world and we are living in it.

A huge storm, a death, my plan destroyed, an unexpected blessing, a better plan exposed and it stops my breath for a minute. It shows me over and over again that TRUSTING in something bigger than myself is the only way to go. Why would I ever want to miss what God has planned for those that love Him?

I can see this truth pan out as I try to parent these little wild women. I know what’s best for them. And, there are days they just need to trust me and I will lead them. There are days I am just being headstrong and I just need to let them choose.

Recently, I believed they were going to be the world’s most elite dancers in America because I LOVED dancing and I didn’t get to be a Rockette. That’s great parenting, right? I was ready to sign them up for Fall dance lessons.

So, naturally they want to be gymnasts.

So, who wins this life-threatening decision for a 5-year-old and 3-year-old this Fall? They do.

I want the recitals, the studio, the costumes and the moments. Those little boogers want to be Gabby and Aly and flip and twirl and swing and jump. They are passionate and begging. So, we marched up to that gym and signed them up for their one activity for Fall. Gymnastics!

This won’t be the last time we wrestle through their will, my will and His will. This time, the stakes weren’t very high. Sometimes, the stakes will be very high.

It’s “Strong Willed City” at our house!

What about yours?

(Related link: Helpful sermon I’ve heard on the will of God [personal will vs moral will] by Andy Stanley and Jeff Henderson with North Point Ministries. http://www.northpoint.org/messages/game-plan

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