Before I can set my goals for white space and come up with a good, strategic plan, I have to identify all the things that clutter my heart, my mind, and my home.

Social Media

There. Let’s just get that one out there. I deleted Facebook and Twitter from my phone a long time ago, so I don’t really struggle with those. But I do love me some Instagram. Instagram is a pretty place, though, isn’t it? It’s not noisy. There’s not a lot of negativity. And I can give you a list of Instagrammers who actually share the Gospel in their posts!

But the pull to check in and update clutters my space. Checking my phone for blog comments. Thinking about and brainstorming my next blog post. And then reading other blogs and thinking about those things during the day.

Plans, Commitments, Meetings

Plans to have dinner one night are life-giving to me. But meetings, obligations, and other things that have me running from one thing to the next are not life-giving to me. They take time away from my kids. They stop me from playing in the backyard and from getting on the floor to do puzzles.

Chores

I’m constantly thinking about things that need to be done around here. The paper is piled up. The laundry needs to be folded. Dinner needs to be cooked. All of those things are just part of being a mom and a wife. But I’m not always organized, so I can help myself by getting organized. But the piles and the clutter are common white space stealers.

Toys

There are toys everywhere. Too many toys. And mostly little toys. My kids own’t even know if something “disappears.” They certainly don’t need anything else and they actually do not play well with toys when there are too many toys. Their minds are cluttered and their play space likes white space.

Clothes

In our temporary living situation, we don’t have a lot of closet space. And I just have too many clothes, and I continue to accumulate more. It’s stressful because I can’t find things when I want to wear them, and getting dressed in the morning takes up way too much time. Personal style is important to me, but when I have too many things that just aren’t wearable or comfortable, they’re useless and just take up space.

As we’ve planned our home and watched it being built, I’ve come up with some plans for household organization and management. This takes time and planning, so it doesn’t really seem like I’m creating white space, but the end result is all about white space. Everything has its place. Everything is streamlined. And that gives you all kinds of white space.

These list of items above have gotten some kind of hold in me over the years. They have their ways of controlling me and the way I feel.

These things are not of the Lord and they do not create community or relationship or a loving home.

On Monday, I’m going to lay out the plans and goals for change.

So what about you? What is stealing your white space? What burdens you?

This post is the 5th in a series called 31 Days of Creating White Space. You can read all of the posts here.

I have a confession to make.

One of the things that keeps the white space out of my life is fear.

I am afraid of disappointing someone. I’m afraid that if I say no then I will lose a friend. Or if I say no just one time, I’ll never be asked again to do that thing I was asked to do… that I really wanted to do, but just didn’t have the time to do it at the moment I was asked. Did you follow that?

There are times when deep inside I do want to commit. And there are times that I absolutely do not want to commit. And I almost always say “yes” to committing in both circumstances.

I’m a first-born, overachieving, introverted, people-pleaser. I’m also kind of a wimp.

I do not glorify busyness. I do not think that busyness is fun and I don’t feel the need to tell people how busy I am.

Quite the opposite is true. I’m often embarrassed when I have to tell a good friend that I can’t have dinner or can’t get together to let the kids play because I am so over-committed.

I just don’t like disappointing people. I don’t like feeling left out. And I’m afraid that if I say no, I will let people down and I will miss out on something fun that I wanted to do.

But the commitments don’t always work for my family. One of the things that I am committing to moving away from is the feeling like Todd and I are often like two ships passing in the night.

It’s more fun when we put the kids to bed together. And it’s more fun when we have nights at home reading books and playing hide and seek.

Striving is not fun. Looking for ways to make people happy and creating things to do so that I can get people to be happy with me is just selfish. It’s self-centered and not at all life-giving. That’s just the truth.

“Be a noticer, not a manufacturer.”

-Ellen Parker

I don’t want to keep creating commitments. This is the time to notice the gifts that God has given me and to be truly grateful for them. Not to look for ways to gain more gifts or different gifts. Or gifts like someone else’s who seems to have it all.

I am who He made me to be. I am loved. And there is no one else I should be striving to please above Him.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

And as I step away and make room for margin, I know that He is going to move in that space.

This is the 4th post in my 31 Days of Creating White Space .

So how did I get to the point when I realized I needed white space?

Here’s where it gets a little ugly and messy.

I can be going along about my day, feeling like I’ve got it all together. I have my calendar with a perfectly scheduled day. There are a lot of notes and to-dos on the calendar. A lot of commitments. But none of them are overlapping, so it’s fine.

It’s fine.

There is room for everything. I can do all the things. I can please everyone. I can serve whenever someone asks me to.

These statements, my friends, are lies. I cannot do all of those things. I just can’t.

The beauty in white space is that it allows us to notice and appreciate the good things. That empty space gives us room to look at what we have and say, “this is good.” To enjoy it the way God wants us to.

And when I’m serving and moving and committing from one thing to another because I think that’s what God wants me to do? How often is God glorified in those situations? There’s no time to give Him glory during all of that crazy. There’s no time for Him to move in me.

What does the white space give me that I don’t have?

In the spiritual and emotional sense, it gives me time to connect. Time for relationship. Time to have long phone calls about nothing with a dear friend. Time to sit on the floor and play with my kids without losing my patience because my list is screaming at me from the other room.

In the physical sense, it gives me room to breathe. Less stress over the clutter and the constant need for cleaning. It gives me an appreciation for the blessings we have. It gives my kids an appreciation for the toys they have.

Just like my friend Ellen, I am on a journey trying to teach my heart what my head already knows. I need the white space. I want it. I know what benefits it will bring. But I just don’t have it yet.

Tomorrow, I’m going to address the subject of fear and striving and how that keeps me from my white space. Ouch.

This is the 3rd post in a 31 day series on Creating White Space.

If I’m writing for thirty one days about creating white space, I should probably make sure we’re all on the same page about white space.

So what is white space?

For artists and designers, white space is often referred to as negative space. It’s the part of the page that is blank. White.

White space is a good thing. White space is needed for the eye to rest. For all the other things to have a place to exist in that space. The white space balances out everything else.

Otherwise items are lost and overlooked. It becomes too much.

In this year of selling and leaving our home, moving to Todd’s grandmother’s house, and living about thirty minutes way from our community, there have been a lot of changes. I hoped for simplicity, but we’ve still been without margin.

I’ve been without margin.

Despite having almost all of our belongings in storage, I’ve continued to accumulate toys and clothes and… ahem… coffee mugs.

Our schedules have been full. The commitments have us over-extended.

White space is needed for my soul to rest.

Andy Stanley calls it “breathing room.”

We will likely move into our new home within the next 30 days. A few months ago, I began to realize that we will soon be reunited with all of our belongings that we packed up 11 months ago. Things we have lived without. Many things that we do not need.

As I prepare for that day, and the possible shock of it all, I’m committing to a white space challenge. To stop buying useless stuff.

To stop overcommitting.

To clear the calendar.

To focus on community and relationship.

And to prepare our hearts to settle into this place where God wants me to be. Physically and spiritually.

But most importantly, I am trusting Him to carry me through this. In this lack of breathing room, my relationship with Jesus suffers. My willingness to create white space will be an act of worship for Him. Because, really, what else in life is more important than that?

 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:31-34