a messy motherhood story for His glory

a messy motherhood story for His glory

The other night I was standing in the kitchen trying to cook dinner while the boys were racing their Hot Wheels all around my feet. The dogs were barking, I was trying to listen to Christmas music (it’s never too early for Christmas music), and the boys were laughing. I was also doing my best not to drop food on them!

This happened to be one of the days that I decided to cook instead of having us eat leftovers. The laundry was done, but it certainly wasn’t folded or put away. Piles of mail and school “art projects” covered the kitchen counter tops.

And I heard my phone buzz.

It was a text from a sweet college friend who is the mom to a 2-year-old and an 11 week old. She asked me for a devotional recommendation, she said she was drowning, and she finally asked, “How do you keep it all together?”

And I just laughed. If only she could see the scene in my house.

I asked her what it was that she felt like wasn’t all together. She described the piles of laundry. The guest room had become a storage room for anything that they couldn’t get around to taking care of. There were piles of paper and there was the strong desire to get out and do one thing every day that was just for her.

And I decided to tell her what I should tell myself every day.

That anyone with an 11-week-old is excused from the piles. That those piles are not a reflection of what is in her heart. Things may look disheveled, but that doesn’t mean everything is falling apart. As long as the babies and mommy are healthy and happy, all the other things can wait.

I was telling her all of this while dinner was sizzling and Hudson drove a Hot Wheel over my foot while making car racing noises. And all I could do was laugh.

I can’t recall a day when I had all my ducks in a row. And I mean all the ducks. The laundry, the dishes, the breakfast, the dinner, the schedule, the baths. Every day I make a decision to let go of something. It is far, far from perfection.

If I only hold a toddler and play board games with my preschooler all day, the day was well spent.

Because I know with full confidence that everything is temporary. When I thought I’d never sleep again, my babies started sleeping. And when I thought we’d never be ready to potty train, he practically potty trained himself. When I thought that I’d never regain any semblance of normalcy and get those ducks in a row, my kids became a little more independent, and time was freed up for me to be me again.

But in the midst of the messes, my heart is full of gratitude and love. Those sweet boys are loud and they can push my patience. Sometimes I look around and think that my messy environment doesn’t look like me at all, with toys hidden in every nook in the house, and miniature masterpieces by my little artists covering the table. But it doesn’t reflect what’s in my heart. It’s just the reality of my beautiful blessings.

But I need the grace and unwavering love of Jesus to get me through each day. And that grace is a constant reminder that those things that I see as a mess aren’t the things He’s worried about. And they’re certainly not the things my boys are worried about.

My motherhood story is for His glory.

colossians 323-24

Hudson's first Gamecock football experience

A couple of weeks ago, Todd and I started talking about taking Hudson to his first Gamecock football game. We thought the game against UAB would be a good one for him to attend, as we expected that the crowd would be a little more tame since it wasn’t an SEC opponent.

RC and PC kept Hayes at their house, and we got Hudson all decked out in his Gamecock apparel for his first Williams Brice Stadium experience.

We decided not to tailgate, and to just get to the stadium an hour before kickoff. We knew that would give us plenty of time to make our way to the stadium and get situated in our seats before any of the pregame entertainment began.

Hudson was so excited about his hat and the Gamecock on the back of his hat and on his shirt. We held his hands and walked to the stadium. He was paying very close attention to everything. He noticed all the cars, all the Gamecock gear, all the policemen and police cars.

Our first stop was at the concessions stand. We had promised Hudson a Sprite (a treat he’s only had once before) and popcorn. He was so excited! We got inside the stadium really early, so it was easy for him to see everything and he was able to see the band file onto the field.

When the Gamecock first crowed over the loud speaker, Hudson was immediately fascinated by the whole experience. He loved the fireworks every time we scored and he loved the rooster crowing. He clapped when everyone  clapped and loved shouting, “Go Cocks!” at the top of his little lungs.

We made three trips to the restroom- and he still never actually used the restroom. I think he just wanted to see the restroom. He just got the full Williams Brice experience!

We left right before half time. He had started to lose interest in the game and we’d run out of chicken fingers. I asked him if he was ready to go home, and he said, “Okay, mommy. Let’s go home.”

He was such a grown up little boy. I was so proud of him on Saturday. He was super excited and appreciative of everything he saw. We may take him to another low key game this season. He was such a little trooper.

We went to RC and PC’s house after the game to pick up Hayes. Hayes was already in bed, and Hudson immediately started telling everyone where he’d been that night. He told them all about seeing Cocky and the huge jumbo-tron (he called it the big TV) and the Gamecocks winning. He was so proud of what he’d gotten to do, and that just made my heart explode with happiness.

We woke Hayes up and put him in the car to go home. On the way home from RC and PC’s house, the car was pretty quiet and both boys were sleepy.

I heard Hudson start talking to Hayes about where he’d been that night. He started telling Hayes about the Gamecocks and Cocky. He told him about the popcorn and Sprite.

And Hayes, he doesn’t say a lot, made a few excited noises and laughed.

And then Hudson said, “Don’t worry, Hayes. You can go, too, when you’re a big boy.” And I looked at Todd and had to fight back the tears.

Going to his first game is such a simple thing, but it’s such a big first in his relationship with his Daddy, who is a Gamecock fan since he was about Hudson’s age.

He may not remember his first experience, but he’ll always have the pictures. Todd and I, on the other hand, will never ever forget Hudson’s first experience and how we introduced him to a tradition that he’ll be a part of for a long time. (And we’ll just continue to keep our fingers crossed that he remains a Gamecock fan and doesn’t cross over to the dark side. Kidding!)

 

the search for simple significance

Life as a mother, particularly a stay-at-home mother, can get a little lonely. We have the constant company of our sweet little ones, who aren’t necessarily sweet all the time. But there isn’t a whole lot of interaction with friends and peers, and many days we go to bed and realize that other than with our immediate family members, we haven’t had a real conversation.

I know, for me, some of the days can feel lonely. And even though I know deep in my heart that my work at home is significant, I can start to feel pretty insignificant.

But I realized not too long ago that my work is not just in the home. We have incredible opportunities to make a huge impact on someone’s day and someone’s attitude.

Mother to mother, this is something that we can do for each other.

A couple of months ago, my mom and I were driving back to South Carolina from Indiana with the boys, and we stopped at a restaurant to have lunch. The hostess was an attractive, friendly woman about my mom’s age. She walked us to our table and limped the whole way there. I let her know we’d need a high chair and as she limped away from us to go get it, I said, “Can I get that for you? I’m happy to do it.”

She stopped and just looked at me, then said, “It’s my pleasure to get it. But thank you so much. No one has ever offered to help me before.”

I don’t know why she was limping, but it wasn’t hard to notice that she must have been in pain. And I honestly couldn’t believe that no one had ever offered to help her.

I’m not telling this story to pat myself on the back. There are plenty of times when I am completely oblivious because I’m too busy with what I’m doing to even notice what’s going on. But the kind woman’s words stuck with me, and I decided to make it a point to be more observant. I want to take the time to notice other people, and be considerate.

It made me feel better, and the woman told me it made her feel better. The look of appreciation on her face would have made anyone’s day.

There are so many mornings when I’m doing drop off at school that I just feel like I’m in a daze. I know what it takes us to get ourselves together and out the door in the mornings. But imagine the possibilities if I just put a smile on my face.

If I pass another mom in the hallway, what does it do to her day if I smile at her, or say hello. There’s a strong possibility that she had the same kind of morning that I did.

When I’m unloading my kids and see another mom struggling to get hers unloaded, how can I impact her day just by offering to help?

Because that little smile or that wave? It says, “I get it. I’ve been there.” And don’t we all just want to feel like someone understands?

Maybe I’ll be a little late for my next stop. Or I’ll spend ten minutes talking to another mom in the hallway when I could be halfway finished with my first errand. But it’s okay to slow down a little bit

We have no idea what people may be struggling with. But if I consider my own struggles and the things that caused me to lose my patience or the things that got my day off to a rotten start, it’s likely that other moms were right there with me.

In this year when I’m saying “no” and focusing more on relationships, I’m committing to take time to notice people. I’m taking time to offer a helping hand to someone. Or just offering a smile and a wave. Or just a quick text to say that I’m thinking of you.

I don’t know about you, but the times that I get a text from someone saying, “You’ve been on my mind today,” my day is made. Someone was thinking of me. And I want to have a positive impact on someone’s day that way.

We have so many opportunities for great significance outside of our own homes. And most days, all we need is a little bit of adult interaction and the realization that we did something to positively impact someone’s day.

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