Faith

my grace year

Filed Under: Faith

Aug212012

The start of a new school year is a new beginning. It’s a time to open up my calendar and look at the football schedule, the preschool calendar, the church calendar, the Junior League calendar, and Todd’s work calendar and start planning out our fall. Everyone gives us a jam-packed calendar and before we know it, we’ve filled in our calendars all the way to Christmas.

A few of these calendars come with opportunities to sign up to volunteer. Bake sales, t-shirt sales, concerts, class parties, room mom, organizing a class party, bringing dinner, decorating for an event… The need for help follows us around. And my usual tendency has been to look at all of these opportunities and sign myself right up.

Why do I do this?

1. I like to help make things easier for people. If someone tells me they need my help, then I want to help them. Which leads me to number two.

2. I want people to like me. Will they still like me if I say no? Probably. Most definitely. Right? Maybe not. Maybe someone will be disappointed and maybe someone will *gasp* talk about me behind my back. (I need to re-read So Long Insecurity.)

3. In many cases, I actually do better with a full schedule. I’m more productive when I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I was this way in my job and I’m this way when I’m at home.

But not this year. Not. This. Year.

I’m giving myself a grace year. I’m saying no.

I’m still going to do the Holiday Market decorations because I love it. And we’ll still be really involved with our Sunday school class. And I’ll still participate in our Christmas music at church.

But the extra stuff isn’t for me. Not right now. Any extra time is reserved for my family and my friends and relationships. I don’t want to tell anyone this year that I can’t get together for dinner because of an obligation.

I don’t want to miss putting my babies to bed because I’m setting up for an event.

I don’t want to miss opportunities for girls’ nights and I don’t want my laundry to pile up all because I’ve over-extended myself.

Here’s what I need to remember.

1. If I’m disappointing someone, it’s not going to be my family members. No, sir. Not this year.

2. I can’t do it all, and I shouldn’t want to do it all.

3. My value and worth is not determined by the amount of projects I attempt to tackle. My worth is find in Christ Jesus alone. His grace is enough for me. And I don’t need to search for approval from others or create a full calendar to find that worth. He loves me. Unconditionally. What else do I need to know? What else could I possibly need to fill me up?

I want to serve. I want to help people. I want to pull my weight and contribute where there is a need. But my kids are only little once. I have a lifetime ahead of me to do all of these things.

And I know that I can make even more of a difference if I take that previously “booked” time and devote it to the relationships in my life.

photo by Sarah Lyn Photography in Destin, Florida

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

the song remembers when

Filed Under: Faith

Aug162012

On the way home from the beach last weekend, I read Emily Giffin’s new book, Where We Belong. (I really enjoyed the book and would recommend it to any gal looking for a good, quick read.)

A few chapters of the book take place back in 1995. Songs from 1995 were referenced and my mind naturally went back to 1995.

In 1995, I turned 13 years old. We started the year living in Louisiana, and by the beginning of the summer we had picked up and moved to Indiana. I felt like Indiana was in the middle of no where. I was surrounded by corn fields. There were basketball goals in every driveway. And I didn’t know a soul.

I was a rising 8th grader and almost a teenager that summer. I was an awkward-looking 12 year old. I had a weird bob haircut and I hadn’t really settled into my body yet. I had just said goodbye to all of my friends in the world and rode in our minivan to our new home.

We spent a good 12 hours in the car and listened to a lot of songs on the radio. The music of 1995.

Sitting in my new room in my new house, spending a summer hanging out with my little brother because neither of us had any friends yet, I listened to a lot of radio. And we watched a lot of MTV and VH1.

And I’ll never forget those songs.

Songs like Kiss From a Rose by Seal. And Hook by Blues Traveler.

Waterfalls by TLC and Hold My Hand by Hootie and the Blowfish.

Songs that turned bands into one hit wonders like Roll to Me by Del Amitri. Or As I Lay Me Down by Sophie B. Hawkins. Of course there was You Are Not Alone by Michael Jackson. And Strong Enough by Sheryl Crowe.

Still, to this day, when I hear any of the songs from that year, I am flooded with the memory of emotions. The feelings of loneliness and fear. I felt excitement and incredible anticipation. And dread. And the fear and nerves of starting a new school and trying to make friends.

I can almost smell the way my new school smelled on that first day when I hear any of these songs. I remember what it was like to ride a school bus for the first time and hear those songs on the radio.

It’s unclear whether or not I could name the songs of 1996 or 1997. I don’t even really know what songs were really popular when I finished high school. But the pop culture of 1995 is still so fresh in my memory.

I took a couple of trips back to Louisiana that summer for youth choir tour and church camp. I wrote a lot of letters to my friends and I eagerly checked my mailbox every single day for letters. And I saved every one I received. (This was a couple of years before email was a mainstream thing.)

I cried a lot that summer. There was actually a Tropical Storm Erin that summer, and my parents joked with me that it was really me and I was just crying enough to create a tropical storm.

1995 is a huge mark on the map outline of my life. I learned how to start over. I learned that I can be brave and that my home is where my family is. Because of this, I’m not afraid of the possibility of following my husband where ever God wants to take us. And I’m just as open to the idea of living in this great town for the rest of my life because that’s where my family is.

And that summer, I really, for the first time in my life, remember what it feels like to trust in God that He knows the plans for us and that He is going to take care of us.

My brother and I have talked about the songs of 1995 before and the strong memories we have just from hearing the songs on the radio.

But all these thoughts just because I read Where We Belong and Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town was referenced. Oh, the memories.

Is there a song that does that for you? Or a year of music that brings back strong memories like that?

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

interacting with your newborn

Filed Under: Baby, Faith

Aug152012

When I was pregnant with Hudson I got the best unsolicited advice I never knew I needed. It was from my mom’s client at the time and she had recently had her first baby. Her baby was about six months old, and she wanted to pass along some pearls of wisdom from another new mommy.

One of the things she said to me was, “Talk to your baby.” I thought this was funny because, obviously, I would talk to my baby. Don’t we all expect to talk to our babies?

But she was right and her words stuck with me. When Hudson was so tiny that he was just kind of lying on his play mat or sitting in his bouncer, I realized it was up to me to give him some meaningful interactive time.

So I talked to him. When I was cooking supper and he was in his bouncer just looking at me, I’d tell him all about what I was doing. Of course he didn’t understand anything that I was saying. He didn’t know what I meant when I said I was chopping onions or when I told him that the onions are white. He didn’t know what I was saying when I’d tell him why I was washing my hands, but I told him anyway. Just so I could talk to him.

And he’d just look up at me with wide eyes and give me the occasional grin. Eventually he started to “coo” back at me.

When we’d go to the grocery store he would be in his infant carrier and he’d just be looking at me. We’d walk down the canned foods aisle and I’d talk to him about pasta and green beans. When we got to the produce section I’d show him that the cucumbers were green and the carrots were orange. I’d tell him how many carrots I picked up.

I can’t say that this taught him how to count or helped him learn his colors, but it just gave us some interaction with each other. Because he was my buddy. He was my constant companion for outings. He was my cooking buddy and my walking buddy. So I wanted to talk to him about our day and what we were doing. I wanted to tell him all about where we were going and let him look at the dogs we passed on our walks.

At first I thought it sounded silly that this girl advised me to just “talk to your baby.” But it turned out to be a great piece of advice.

But my most favorite way to interact with my babies happens at bed time. When we’re sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery and reading bedtime stories, singing songs, and saying our prayers. Those little moments will be in their memories and especially mine as something we always did together starting when they were just newborns.

What are some meaningful ways that you interact with your babies?

why vacation is bittersweet

Filed Under: Faith, vacation

Aug142012

It’s no secret that my heart breaks a little bit each time I say goodbye to my family. The distance is hard and even with time, lots of time, the distance doesn’t get any easier. The distance has shortened and lengthened and shortened again over the years, but it’s still there.

I can get to my parents’ house in 10 hours without stops. And it would take me a good two days to get to my brother’s house. But this is why we make it a point to have visits scheduled throughout the year. Our unspoken rule for the last decade has been that we don’t say goodbye to each other until we have another trip on the calendar.

Our next scheduled visit happens to be when they’re in the Greenville area this fall, and I’ll get up there to see them later this fall when I attend the Influence conference. And sometimes many months go by before we see each other, but we do what we can.

And we have been so fortunate this summer to have been able to spend two weeks at the beach with my family and with Todd’s family. We spent a week at Isle of Palms, South Carolina earlier this summer and we just returned from Orange Beach, Alabama.

Our trips aren’t full of plans. We eat lots of sandwiches and cook every night. We keep it easy for the boys and easy for us. We take naps on the porch and on the beach. And some days we stay in our pajamas until noon.

But each year, I’m more and more aware of how quickly time passes. And it’s more and more important to me to spend that time with people I love. To unplug and to just sit and laugh. Or just sit next to my mom while she’s reading her book and I’m reading mine.

Our family isn’t perfect and we have our share of squabbles. But we genuinely enjoy being near each other. We laugh at the same things and get each other’s jokes.

I can remember each time we left my grandparents’ house or a beach trip with my grandparents, they would always cry and my parents would cry. Sometimes I would cry, but I was a kid and didn’t really understand why everyone was crying.

There is more of an awareness now. An awareness of time. An awareness that babies grow quickly. And a sadness because I know they’ll have changed so much before we see each other again.

The time goes so quickly. I have a three year old now and it literally seems like he was a newborn yesterday. My parents don’t get to see him every day like I do. So I’m aware of how quickly the time must be passing through their eyes. And how it must feel to look at your almost 27 and 30 year old babies and wonder where on earth the time went?

We don’t have the luxury of living in the same cities. But these trips are so very precious to us all. My kids got an incredible week with their grandparents and we all got a week together. It was really wonderful.

So it’s hard to feel sad about the distance when we have times like this to look forward to.

But even with the promise of a great visit ahead on the calendar, I can’t stop the tears when we say goodbye. I still feel like the 9 year old being dropped off at summer camp. And the 17 year old being moved in to the dorm for college.

It’s part of life. And I’m thankful for it. But I’ll continue to check off the days on my calendar until I can hug them again.

May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other.

Genesis 31:49

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