Pregnancy is an interesting thing for men. Just like all women have a different experience with pregnancy, the same is true for the baby daddy. Todd isn’t a very emotional guy, and I think from the dad’s perspective, one of the hardest things about pregnancy is they really have no idea what’s going on.

They experience the mood swings and the cravings. They experience the restless nights. But that’s really all second hand. They’re catering to your every need. They may even gain a little weight, too. But, for Todd, I think because he couldn’t feel the babies move, he didn’t really know what was going on.

I didn’t “require” that he go to all of my OB-GYN appointments, but he came to all of the appointments when we had a scheduled sonogram. He didn’t want to miss any opportunity to see the babies. And if the baby was kicking, I tried to call him over to feel it. Sometimes he felt it and sometimes he didn’t.

But Todd was just there for me.

He supported me physically and emotionally when he really didn’t have any idea what I was going through. He knew that he loved our babies already, and he made it very clear how much he loved me.

But that excitement for him didn’t come during the pregnancy. He never felt left out or anything. He just was content to be the dad. He was content to hold my hand and hold me when I felt scared or overwhelmed.

When Hudson was born, it took Todd a while to really feel comfortable. He’d hold Hudson, feed him a bottle, swaddle him, help me change diapers, and any other “dad” duty. But I could tell that he was already getting excited for the day when Hudson would laugh. Or even just smile. He was getting excited about the possibility of throwing the baseball in the backyard and taking Hudson to his first Gamecock football game.

Just as some women say the maternal instinct doesn’t kick in automatically, I think that was the case for Todd.

All I really needed from him was to be there for me. I knew the day would come when he’d feel comfortable and when he’d look at our baby and not just see an infant, but he’d see a lifetime of this wonderful father/son relationship that he could grow.

Todd is the greatest dad, and my boys are lucky. I’ll admit that there were times when I wondered when that instinct would kick in for him. But it did kick in, and he is a “take charge” kind of dad. He is a great leader for our household. Even though it took him a couple of weeks to know what exactly to do with a baby, he did get it and he was an instant pro.

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I think one of the most intimidating decisions I had to make before my babies were born was when I had to decide who would be their pediatrician. There are so many options. There are so many factors. It’s a huge decision and you want to feel comfortable with the decision, because babies get sick. And when you have to take your baby to the doctor, you want to trust the person taking care of your most precious person.

I’ve put together a little list with some information about how we chose our pediatrician, who we love!

1. Ask your friends who already have children what they think of their pediatrician and/or the practice. Make sure you ask people whose opinions you value. You realize a little bit into your pregnancy and more so after having your child that you and your friends may have very different parenting values. So ask the opinions of people whose parenting values align with yours. In our case, we had a family friend who was a pediatric RN for the practice where we planned to send our children. She was able to help us by giving some background information on the doctors and the way they prescribe medicine and this helped us make our final decision.

2. Do your research first. Decide which things are important to you. What would be a deal breaker with a pediatrician? Does it matter to you where the practice is located? Do you want a short drive to the clinic or does that matter at all to you? The practice we chose has a few locations around town, but we wanted the location closest to us for our primary pediatrician. Does it matter to you how much experience the doctor has? Do you want a young doctor or more experienced doctor? Does it matter if your doctor has children?

3. Go meet the doctors. Our pediatrician’s office allows you to come in for a free consultation to meet the doctor and ask questions. We ended up interviewing two doctors because we decided to keep looking after we met the first doctor. His personality didn’t jive with ours, so we decided to meet with one more. How do you feel about the doctor’s office? Is it clean enough for you? What does it seem like the wait time is like? Do you like the staff? These are the people you’ll be calling when your child is sick. How long does it take to get an appointment? And is there an after hours service available? All of these things were important questions for us. Our pediatrician’s office wasn’t in the best shape when we started going there, but there was the promise of building a new office, which has been amazing!

4. Ask questions about vaccinations, parenting philosophies, etc. Ask the questions that are important to you. We ultimately settled on a young, female pediatrician who has small children. I was impressed with her years of experience, but also felt like I’d be able to relate to her and her to me. And I hoped she’d be able to give me advice about sleepless nights and immunizations based on the decisions she made as a parent, not just a doctor. Maybe you want to ask about immunization schedules or breast feeding vs. formula feeding or how and when to start table food and vitamins.

5. Google them. Read about them on the website and see what his or her bio says. You may care about where they went to medical school and college. And it’s important to know that they are board certified. In the end, we wanted to choose a pediatrician that we could trust. It was also very important for me to be able to communicate. I wanted to be able to ask for her advice without feeling like she would talk down to me or judge me.

What would you add to the list? How did you choose your pediatrician?

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Back in 2008, I was a young, carefree newlywed of about five months. I was sitting at my desk at work one day and I found myself on the verge of tears. For no real reason.

I can remember telling my coworker that I just felt “off” and that I thought I might burst into tears but I had no idea why. I decided to go home at lunch and take the rest of the day off work. On my way home, a thought crossed my mind. I was late. You know, “late” late. But there was just no way I could possibly be pregnant.

But then again, I knew I felt “off” and strangely emotional. So I ran to the drugstore on the way home and bought a few pregnancy tests. I had never even bought a pregnancy test before. I rushed home, took the test, and about twenty seconds later, the word “pregnant” showed up. (I get those digital tests so I can’t be at all confused.)

And I sank to the floor in the bathroom and cried. I laughed a little, too, while I cried. But there were a lot of tears. I was happy, scared, shocked, and nervous to tell Todd and our families.

Over the next few months, I’d cry at the drop of a hat. I cried if I was tired and I cried if I was mad. I cried if someone looked at me the wrong way or if I even so much as imagined what my baby’s face might look like. The only way I knew how to express emotion (any emotion) during my pregnancy was through tears.

After Hudson was born, I found that this expression of emotion was even worse. I hear stories told in Sunday school by some friends and start crying before they can finish two sentences. I watch coffee commercials or grocery store commercials about family members coming home for the holidays and just weep.

Motherhood changed me. I was an emotional person before (I cried during the Westminster Kennel Club dog show as a child because I thought the basset hound “looked sad” and it made me sad) but something about the overwhelming love for another little person–or two little people–has just softened my heart and made it so hard for me to go five seconds without thinking about them. Every little thing reminds me of how much I love them.

Fortunately, the really intense emotions started during pregnancy, so I wasn’t completely shocked when Hudson was born. I would sing to him while I rocked him to sleep, and after about four lines of “You Are My Sunshine,” I was weeping and having to wipe my tears off of my baby’s head. Cuckoo? Definitely. Overwhelmed by love? Without a doubt.

What kind of emotions did you experience during pregnancy and during that precious newborn time?

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