I have a confession to make.

One of the things that keeps the white space out of my life is fear.

I am afraid of disappointing someone. I’m afraid that if I say no then I will lose a friend. Or if I say no just one time, I’ll never be asked again to do that thing I was asked to do… that I really wanted to do, but just didn’t have the time to do it at the moment I was asked. Did you follow that?

There are times when deep inside I do want to commit. And there are times that I absolutely do not want to commit. And I almost always say “yes” to committing in both circumstances.

I’m a first-born, overachieving, introverted, people-pleaser. I’m also kind of a wimp.

I do not glorify busyness. I do not think that busyness is fun and I don’t feel the need to tell people how busy I am.

Quite the opposite is true. I’m often embarrassed when I have to tell a good friend that I can’t have dinner or can’t get together to let the kids play because I am so over-committed.

I just don’t like disappointing people. I don’t like feeling left out. And I’m afraid that if I say no, I will let people down and I will miss out on something fun that I wanted to do.

But the commitments don’t always work for my family. One of the things that I am committing to moving away from is the feeling like Todd and I are often like two ships passing in the night.

It’s more fun when we put the kids to bed together. And it’s more fun when we have nights at home reading books and playing hide and seek.

Striving is not fun. Looking for ways to make people happy and creating things to do so that I can get people to be happy with me is just selfish. It’s self-centered and not at all life-giving. That’s just the truth.

“Be a noticer, not a manufacturer.”

-Ellen Parker

I don’t want to keep creating commitments. This is the time to notice the gifts that God has given me and to be truly grateful for them. Not to look for ways to gain more gifts or different gifts. Or gifts like someone else’s who seems to have it all.

I am who He made me to be. I am loved. And there is no one else I should be striving to please above Him.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

And as I step away and make room for margin, I know that He is going to move in that space.

This is the 4th post in my 31 Days of Creating White Space .

So how did I get to the point when I realized I needed white space?

Here’s where it gets a little ugly and messy.

I can be going along about my day, feeling like I’ve got it all together. I have my calendar with a perfectly scheduled day. There are a lot of notes and to-dos on the calendar. A lot of commitments. But none of them are overlapping, so it’s fine.

It’s fine.

There is room for everything. I can do all the things. I can please everyone. I can serve whenever someone asks me to.

These statements, my friends, are lies. I cannot do all of those things. I just can’t.

The beauty in white space is that it allows us to notice and appreciate the good things. That empty space gives us room to look at what we have and say, “this is good.” To enjoy it the way God wants us to.

And when I’m serving and moving and committing from one thing to another because I think that’s what God wants me to do? How often is God glorified in those situations? There’s no time to give Him glory during all of that crazy. There’s no time for Him to move in me.

What does the white space give me that I don’t have?

In the spiritual and emotional sense, it gives me time to connect. Time for relationship. Time to have long phone calls about nothing with a dear friend. Time to sit on the floor and play with my kids without losing my patience because my list is screaming at me from the other room.

In the physical sense, it gives me room to breathe. Less stress over the clutter and the constant need for cleaning. It gives me an appreciation for the blessings we have. It gives my kids an appreciation for the toys they have.

Just like my friend Ellen, I am on a journey trying to teach my heart what my head already knows. I need the white space. I want it. I know what benefits it will bring. But I just don’t have it yet.

Tomorrow, I’m going to address the subject of fear and striving and how that keeps me from my white space. Ouch.

This is the 3rd post in a 31 day series on Creating White Space.

 

If I’m writing for thirty one days about creating white space, I should probably make sure we’re all on the same page about white space.

So what is white space?

For artists and designers, white space is often referred to as negative space. It’s the part of the page that is blank. White.

White space is a good thing. White space is needed for the eye to rest. For all the other things to have a place to exist in that space. The white space balances out everything else.

Otherwise items are lost and overlooked. It becomes too much.

In this year of selling and leaving our home, moving to Todd’s grandmother’s house, and living about thirty minutes way from our community, there have been a lot of changes. I hoped for simplicity, but we’ve still been without margin.

I’ve been without margin.

Despite having almost all of our belongings in storage, I’ve continued to accumulate toys and clothes and… ahem… coffee mugs.

Our schedules have been full. The commitments have us over-extended.

White space is needed for my soul to rest.

Andy Stanley calls it “breathing room.”

We will likely move into our new home within the next 30 days. A few months ago, I began to realize that we will soon be reunited with all of our belongings that we packed up 11 months ago. Things we have lived without. Many things that we do not need.

As I prepare for that day, and the possible shock of it all, I’m committing to a white space challenge. To stop buying useless stuff.

To stop overcommitting.

To clear the calendar.

To focus on community and relationship.

And to prepare our hearts to settle into this place where God wants me to be. Physically and spiritually.

But most importantly, I am trusting Him to carry me through this. In this lack of breathing room, my relationship with Jesus suffers. My willingness to create white space will be an act of worship for Him. Because, really, what else in life is more important than that?

 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:31-34

White space.

In design. On a page. In my calendar. In my home. In my day. In my heart.

I need more of it. I’m going to be looking for it, and creating it.

This past year has been a complete whirlwind. Almost everything changed for us and while we’ve been doing okay, I have been consuming. And scheduling. And filling all the space.

The next thirty-one days I’ll be exploring this idea and writing about the process. There will be tears. There will be laughs. And there will be change.

But my goal is to free up the space for relationship and community. To stop consuming and to start believing with my whole heart that my identity is found in Christ alone.

I’m linking up with The Nester this month for 31 Days of Creating White Space.

This is a big challenge for me (creating white space and committing to write on one topic for 31 days), and I’ll be back tomorrow to share the story about God laying this on my heart.

This topic will definitely be faith-based, but I’m going to put it in the Simplicity & Organization category.

This post will serve as the landing page for all  the posts in the series. I’ll list them all here each day when I update.

Will you join me in this challenge?

Day One: Why White Space?

Day Two: My Need for White Space

Day Three: fear & striving

Day Four: Who stole my white space? 

Day Five: White space & the weekend

Day Six: white space = rest 

Day Seven: the wardrobe & white space

Day Eight: goals to create white space 

Day Nine: your home is your story

Day Ten: #onebigtruth

Day Eleven: planning an organized home

Day Twelve: white space & the weekend (2)

Day Thirteen: resting in what was good this week

Day Fourteen: but what if it’s good stuff?

Day Fifteen: the great toy purge: white space for the kids

Day Sixteen: the great toy purge part II (what happened to the toys)

Day Seventeen: life happens in the white space

Day Eighteen: the white screen of rest 

Day Nineteen: stop. and breathe.

Day Twenty: white space = rest

Day Twenty-One: I’m Dreaming of a White (Space) Christmas 

Day Twenty-Two: white (space) Christmas & gifts

Day Twenty-Three: white (space) Christmas: removing the excess in your schedule

Day Twenty-Four: simple thoughts & simple spaces by Paige Knudsen

Day Twenty-Five: white space isn’t the answer

Day Twenty-Six: running

Day Twenty-Seven: day 27 reflections

Day Twenty-Eight: sometimes He gives us a cross

Day Twenty-Nine: margin and the mama’s heart

Day Thirty: the truth about white space

Day Thirty-One: we created white space