I have some funny thoughts about Mother’s Day. I know it’s just a Hallmark holiday and it’s not to be taken too seriously. So we don’t really take it all that seriously in our house. There are cards, and my kids’ teachers were sweet enough to help them make some handprint gifts for them to give to me. Those are really the sweetest things about the whole day.
I don’t need to be pampered or given a day off. I really just want to be with my family and to spend the day with them.
I don’t take Mother’s Day very seriously until I look at my children. And then I am overcome with emotions about what it means to be their mother. I am the one that is celebrating because Hudson and Hayes Carroll are my boys.
And what an incredible gift that is.
I am not a perfect mother. I lose my temper. I snap at them. I don’t always give them my undivided attention. I could stand to play with them more and there are many times when I wish I could hit a “mute” button at our house.
They are not perfect children. They don’t always obey and they don’t eat all their vegetables. Or, really, any vegetables except green beans. They throw tantrums in public over silly things. But they are my boys.
And it’s when I stop, and look Hudson right in the eyes while he’s grinning at me and saying, “I never want to grow up and I always want to live with you and Daddy” that I see every little piece of joy in that moment. In his grin and his bright brown eyes that are smiling at me. Smiling at me because I’m looking straight at him. And knowing that he loves so so so deeply.
I’m so thankful for his grace. Hudson has taught me the true meaning of grace. As I’ve messed up and as we’ve both navigated this journey together. He’s my first and I’m his only. He trusts me and he’s the one that taught me how to trust myself. He made me a mama. I anxiously tip-toed and second guessed my way through so much of his short life. And we eagerly awaited each new milestone, almost in an effort to check the box to move to the next box.
He is full of sweetness. Full of wit and hilarity. And I love so very much that we have inside jokes. I’m not sure how it’s possible that Hudson has grown up so fast, but I am no longer looking forward to his new milestones because I want time to stop.
Then there are the moments when I’m busy folding laundry and watching the news, and I finally notice that Hayes has been running circles around me just trying to get me to look at him and laugh at him. So I look up, and we both give our biggest fake laugh, and I tell him that he is so funny. And he says, “I did it, Mommy! I’m funny!”
Yes, my sweet Hayes. He is the one that got me to relax as a mother. He’s the one that showed me that I don’t have to walk around with tension in my shoulders as I wait for the next new motherhood moment that will challenge me. Hayes is the one that has made us all laugh and lighten up and just enjoy each day for what it is. And we aren’t always anticipating the next big milestone. I’m not second-guessing myself.
I know that perfection is unattainable. We’re soaking up each day in a new way.
Maybe that’s how it always is the second time around.
So, as we approach Mother’s Day, I am thankful for the mama that my boys have helped me to be. And I pray daily that I can grow and show them the way to the Father. I am so thankful for the sweet little gifts that they are.
What a precious post! I just adore the way you write. I completely agree with you, and I’m so grateful to my two kiddos for making me a Mommy, and I pray that we raise them to always follow Jesus. I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day with your sweet family!
I love this so much. What a blessing you are to your boys and to us that look to you as inspiration daily! With my preemie son, I get so very concerned about milestones because I already feel like he’s behind and I have failed him by not being able to carry him longer. I don’t want him to ever feel like he isn’t on the same level as his peers so I am anxious for him to hit those milestones. I didn’t even fully realize this until I read your post. Thank you for helping me to relax and just focus on loving my little baby boy for exactly where is he – a very strong preemie that has already done amazing things through the grace of God. He’s exactly where he needs to be right now – loved by me and meeting milestones in reasonable timeframes.
So beautifully written!! It is so hard to put into words how our children change and shape us – it’s a process that is a gift from God (and one I ask Him to hold my hand through every day). Nothing has made me feel more blessed, loved, frustrated, inadequate, and happy than being a mother.
I just love your take on Mother’s Day. I feel you sister…the best way to spend the day is just with your family…they’re gift enough.
Everything is so pretty! Could you tell us more about the family pictures lined up near the kitchen table? What size are the prints and where did you get the frames? Thank you!
BEAUTIFUL post! I can’t wait to share these kind of moments with my future kiddos. 🙂 Your boys are lucky to have you!
Such a sweet post. Happy early Mother’s Day!
I really needed to hear this today. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and life!
This was a Beautiful post and what wonderful blessings you have with your sweet boys. I love your writings
and enjoy your blog so much. Have a blessed Mother’s Day.
Such sweet sentiments that I think all of us mothers can relate to. I hope you spend a wonderful day with your two little blessings and that everyday can be as special.
Thank you for this! I stress so much (too much) about my imperfections as a mother. I recently had someone tell me that she, “never raised her voice and if I do then I’m probably damaging Andrew for life.” Wow, what an encouragement. I don’t make a habit of yelling but it has happened, and I’ve felt incredible guilt over it. But when I read your blog, I realize that it’s okay. I realize that our kids do teach us about grace. I realize that being a good mother is not about being a perfect mother. Thank you!
LOVE this! Just beautiful, Erin!
I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day with your sweet family.
Love this. Thanks for sharing your heart, I needed to hear this!
This—> “I’m so thankful for his grace. Hudson has taught me the true meaning of grace. As I’ve messed up and as we’ve both navigated this journey together. He’s my first and I’m his only. He trusts me and he’s the one that taught me how to trust myself. He made me a mama. I anxiously tip-toed and second guessed my way through so much of his short life. And we eagerly awaited each new milestone, almost in an effort to check the box to move to the next box.
He is full of sweetness. Full of wit and hilarity. And I love so very much that we have inside jokes. I’m not sure how it’s possible that Hudson has grown up so fast, but I am no longer looking forward to his new milestones because I want time to stop.”
Love it. Feel it with my own.
I hope you had a sweet day with your family. <3
Oh, how I love this friend! You are such a wonderful mother. Those boys are so lucky to have you!