The other night I was standing in the kitchen trying to cook dinner while the boys were racing their Hot Wheels all around my feet. The dogs were barking, I was trying to listen to Christmas music (it’s never too early for Christmas music), and the boys were laughing. I was also doing my best not to drop food on them!
This happened to be one of the days that I decided to cook instead of having us eat leftovers. The laundry was done, but it certainly wasn’t folded or put away. Piles of mail and school “art projects” covered the kitchen counter tops.
And I heard my phone buzz.
It was a text from a sweet college friend who is the mom to a 2-year-old and an 11 week old. She asked me for a devotional recommendation, she said she was drowning, and she finally asked, “How do you keep it all together?”
And I just laughed. If only she could see the scene in my house.
I asked her what it was that she felt like wasn’t all together. She described the piles of laundry. The guest room had become a storage room for anything that they couldn’t get around to taking care of. There were piles of paper and there was the strong desire to get out and do one thing every day that was just for her.
And I decided to tell her what I should tell myself every day.
That anyone with an 11-week-old is excused from the piles. That those piles are not a reflection of what is in her heart. Things may look disheveled, but that doesn’t mean everything is falling apart. As long as the babies and mommy are healthy and happy, all the other things can wait.
I was telling her all of this while dinner was sizzling and Hudson drove a Hot Wheel over my foot while making car racing noises. And all I could do was laugh.
I can’t recall a day when I had all my ducks in a row. And I mean all the ducks. The laundry, the dishes, the breakfast, the dinner, the schedule, the baths. Every day I make a decision to let go of something. It is far, far from perfection.
If I only hold a toddler and play board games with my preschooler all day, the day was well spent.
Because I know with full confidence that everything is temporary. When I thought I’d never sleep again, my babies started sleeping. And when I thought we’d never be ready to potty train, he practically potty trained himself. When I thought that I’d never regain any semblance of normalcy and get those ducks in a row, my kids became a little more independent, and time was freed up for me to be me again.
But in the midst of the messes, my heart is full of gratitude and love. Those sweet boys are loud and they can push my patience. Sometimes I look around and think that my messy environment doesn’t look like me at all, with toys hidden in every nook in the house, and miniature masterpieces by my little artists covering the table. But it doesn’t reflect what’s in my heart. It’s just the reality of my beautiful blessings.
But I need the grace and unwavering love of Jesus to get me through each day. And that grace is a constant reminder that those things that I see as a mess aren’t the things He’s worried about. And they’re certainly not the things my boys are worried about.
My motherhood story is for His glory.
Shay Shull says
Such a sweet post! It’s so encouraging to all moms!
Blue-Eyed Bride says
Thank you, Shay!
Nicole says
Love this, especially Col 3:23-24. I feel like a lot of people (myself included) focus so much on trying to make their house and life look “perfect” that we forget to pay attention to things that actually matter.
Blue-Eyed Bride says
Thanks, Nicole. It’s hard to let go of the need to want to keep our homes tidy and get all the things on our to-do lists taken care of. Life changes so much when babies come in the picture, and that’s not a bad thing. But it’s an adjustment, for sure.
Meggie says
LOVE this. Thanks for sharing and for a much needed reminder. =)
Danielle says
Loved this post! I have that verse posted in my laundry room to remind myself to work without complaining!
Caroline says
Love this! Such a wonderful reminder π
Laura says
SO true! Again I love how you are always lifting other women up! I also loved your line about ” Everyday I choose to let something go” That should be a mantra to us allβ¦…
Kristal Strong says
Love this!! Thank you for sharing.
Christi says
What a great reminder. thank you. I needed it this week as my children are taking turns being sick and I fall behind on everything.
Keisha Dawson says
This could not have come at a more perfect time for me. Thank you so much for sharing these precious, encouraging words!
Betsy Storey says
GAHH! This speaks right to my heart friend. I’m right where your friend is…loving my girl but feeling like I’m constantly underwater. So glad to be reminded the “stuff” can wait and that God can use motherhood for his glory.
elizabeth says
You are an amazing person. You have a way of touching so many, even those like me who don’t know you. Thank you. I know you have many, many jewels in your crown.
Mandy Lee says
Thank you for writing exactly what I needed to read today. I have a 4 month old daughter who has a milk and soy protein intolerance. She hasn’t been sleeping well and last night was one of the worst nights we’ve had since she was born. As I sit here in tears holding her, your words reminded me that this too shall pass and to concentrate on the joys of motherhood, not just the rough moments. Thank you!
molly says
Love this, Erin! I have been so worried about how I’m going to keep it all together when the new baby comes. The truth is – I won’t! There’s no way. The only thing I can do is give in and accept grace.
Dana Byrd says
Hi Erin,
I have been a long time reader but have never commented. Just wanted to say this post was so encouraging and I think a lot of moms out there will appreciate this post. Thanks so much!
Emily says
So this literally brought tears to my eyes! I am in a constant state of feeling like I can never do enough around the house or be enough to everyone in my life. Thank you for this sweet reminder π
Elise @ Cheers Yall says
love this and keeping it in my back pocket for when im a mama one day. love how you “keep it real” and show more than just that one, glamorous, all together looking slice of the pie. π
xx
elise
Allison says
What a wonderful story! Great words to remember.
I’m right there, right now and have to remind myself it’s about our hearts, not our appearances.
Thanks!
Trisha M says
This was very encouraging and a great reminder!
Bethany says
I was just having this conversation with myself this morning! I have a 4 month old who was sleeping like a champ but last night decided that sleeping was for chumps and he was beyond exhausted and screaming his head off. He finally fell asleep in my arms a few minutes ago and, as he sleeps, all I seem to be able to see are the footprints all over my floor and think of all the boxes that I have to unpack from our move two weeks ago. After a few moments of tears and a long talk with God, I felt Him reminding me that this is all temporary. He won’t always wake up in the middle of the night, but he also won’t always want to snuggle into me and sleep. It’s all temporary. I need to remind myself to enjoy this season of my life….dirty floors and a baby who doesn’t believe in napping unless he is held. Thank you for this post and reminding me I’m not alone!
Tiffanie says
So glad I am sitting in an office with the door closed…tears filling my eyes as I reading as I have been struggling with exactly this topic! Piles everywhere at home, behind at work, and a 5 month old and a 4 year old that I would rather be spending my time with.Thank you!
Jeanie - Twin Falls Motherhood Examiner says
Moms need other moms to be real. We need to know we are not alone. NO MORE PERFECT MOMS. Lets keep it real. Thanks for the reminder π
Audra says
Incredible post!
I can’t remember a day when all of my ducks were in a row either! I have many memories of fun sweet moments spent with my children with piles of laundry or dirty dishes just a few steps away. π
Melissa says
Definitely needed to read this today and remind myself of the sweet, precious, all-too-short time we have with our kids when they are little. It’s hard to not accomplish all the things at work, home and with the kids, but I know we’ll get to it eventually. Thank you!
Becky says
Love, love, love this. My ducks are usually acting like inbred maniacs, racing around and refusing to be put in a row. π It’s nice to know I’m not the only one!
Rychelle Foltz says
I’m a newer follower and I need this post more than you would ever know today π I feel like the woman you are writing about. This put a lot of things into perspective for me. Thank you for the encouragement and this post!
Laura says
I really need to remind myself of this everyday. Sometimes it all feels too much and that I’m constantly failing, but it isn’t true. Us moms do so many things right during the day, but for some reason we always see the failures. The balls that were dropped. I’m trying to refocus on the good. It is easier said than done, but it can be done! Thanks for the encouragement.
Jen says
I need you on speed dial. Your contentment is some thing I admire so much. While you were chatting with a friend amidst your dinner chaos I was drowning in mine. Carsyn was crying because no one would play with her and Hank was wrapped around my feet. Needed to read this today friend!
Blue-Eyed Bride says
Oh friend. It’s not always there. I just know in my heart that things can’t always be perfect. Things are loud and messy and far from perfect. But it’s just the season we’re in. Cooking dinner with your baby in the bjorn is something every mom goes through π
Amanda says
Such a sweet post and reminder, even for those of us who aren’t moms yet. As long as everyone’s happy and healthy and doing their best, messes and piles don’t define us. Thank you for posting!
Kristin says
Such a sweet post and so important for mamas to remember. I love that you said “Every day I make a decision to let go of something”, I absolutely love that and think it’s great advice.
Blue-Eyed Bride says
Thanks, Kristin. It took me a while to be okay with that piece of advice… I don’t want to let go of anything, but I know it’s okay if everything doesn’t get done every day.
Lindsay says
Wow, needed this today! I have a 4 month old (today!) and I just told my husband this morning that our house looks like an episode of hoarders. But I would just rather snuggle her than sort laundry. Thank you!
Blue-Eyed Bride says
Ha! I’m sure your house is not as bad as you think it is, but I can totally relate. Sorting laundry is the worst anyway! π