Before I can set my goals for white space and come up with a good, strategic plan, I have to identify all the things that clutter my heart, my mind, and my home.
Social Media
There. Let’s just get that one out there. I deleted Facebook and Twitter from my phone a long time ago, so I don’t really struggle with those. But I do love me some Instagram. Instagram is a pretty place, though, isn’t it? It’s not noisy. There’s not a lot of negativity. And I can give you a list of Instagrammers who actually share the Gospel in their posts!
But the pull to check in and update clutters my space. Checking my phone for blog comments. Thinking about and brainstorming my next blog post. And then reading other blogs and thinking about those things during the day.
Plans, Commitments, Meetings
Plans to have dinner one night are life-giving to me. But meetings, obligations, and other things that have me running from one thing to the next are not life-giving to me. They take time away from my kids. They stop me from playing in the backyard and from getting on the floor to do puzzles.
Chores
I’m constantly thinking about things that need to be done around here. The paper is piled up. The laundry needs to be folded. Dinner needs to be cooked. All of those things are just part of being a mom and a wife. But I’m not always organized, so I can help myself by getting organized. But the piles and the clutter are common white space stealers.
Toys
There are toys everywhere. Too many toys. And mostly little toys. My kids own’t even know if something “disappears.” They certainly don’t need anything else and they actually do not play well with toys when there are too many toys. Their minds are cluttered and their play space likes white space.
Clothes
In our temporary living situation, we don’t have a lot of closet space. And I just have too many clothes, and I continue to accumulate more. It’s stressful because I can’t find things when I want to wear them, and getting dressed in the morning takes up way too much time. Personal style is important to me, but when I have too many things that just aren’t wearable or comfortable, they’re useless and just take up space.
As we’ve planned our home and watched it being built, I’ve come up with some plans for household organization and management. This takes time and planning, so it doesn’t really seem like I’m creating white space, but the end result is all about white space. Everything has its place. Everything is streamlined. And that gives you all kinds of white space.
These list of items above have gotten some kind of hold in me over the years. They have their ways of controlling me and the way I feel.
These things are not of the Lord and they do not create community or relationship or a loving home.
On Monday, I’m going to lay out the plans and goals for change.
So what about you? What is stealing your white space? What burdens you?
This post is the 5th in a series called 31 Days of Creating White Space. You can read all of the posts here.
We have the same problem with clutter & clothes. When we moved in together after our wedding, we didn’t weed out things due to time constraints so now we have 2 of a lot of things, plus a lot of things that we just don’t need. It’s stressful to be surrounded by clutter!
I need to make a conscious effort once a year to clean out closets and toys!
Oh, Erin. This post specifically speaks to my heart. I’ve also been struggling with creating space for what matters and it’s mind-blowing to really examine what takes up our time, our mental energy and our hearts. Good for you for taking action! Eager to keep reading your posts!
I know that I will never wish I had spent more time on all the things that don’t matter. Xoxo
Social Media, Commitments, meetings. Definitely. This post is absolutely speaking to me!
Yes!! Thank you!
I love this post. Social media is definitely a problem. I need to figure out a good system with Instagram to where I feel connected enough but not too much. Maybe only checking my phone a couple of times a day would help. It’s such a struggle to find balance!
I don’t know what the answer is, but removing a lot of it from my phone helped a lot!
Social media is definitely a white space stealer! I could probably benefit from removing it myself!
I just have to use it in moderation and not let the constant noise be a part of my day.
Loving this series, Erin. Really glad you’re sorting it all out.
Thanks, Molly. 🙂
Hey Erin, If I remember correctly you are a volunteer for Junior League. I am also a member in my community. Ever since having a baby I question my involvement. There are many times when I feel like my commitments with the League are robbing me of white space, but at the same time I love the organization. I have learned so much and met so many people. Some days I feel like I should quit b/c I need to focus on other things in my life, but then I cannot imagine my life without this wonderful group of women. Any thoughts regarding your experience in this area? Feel free to e-mail me. I would love to hear more about your experience and your opinion.
Hey Stacey, I will email you. I am still a member of the junior league. I took on a smaller role this year to try to help with some of the craziness that comes this time of year. I will email you to fill you in on some of the details, but there are many days when I wish I could have waited to join the JL when my kids were in elementary school.
We’re living with my mother-in-law right now and I feel like I am constantly fighting with myself to find some peace in this situation — she is wonderful, it’s a big house, we all get along great, my son loves it here, but I can’t wait for more of my own space. I think that although living with Todd’s grandmother has been a blessing to you I think you will be able to find more white space when you have all your things in their place in your new home. No matter how “at home” you feel in the homes of family members, there is really nothing like being in your own home.
You are right, Colleen. As blessed as we’ve been, the lack of organization and not having a place for everything like the paper and the clothes and the toys and the things we don’t need every day but we cannot throw away…the clutter just consumes me sometimes. But it’s temporary!
Toys are the same way at our house. My little guy plays way better when he gets to start with a clean slate. When I create enough margin between activities so we can pick up after ourselves, it makes the world of difference, but too often rushing around gets the best of us and we come home to a messy toy room, and toys scattered all over the house. A simple example of how creating enough white space in our lives would allow us to follow through and finish in a way that sets us up for success! I’m looking forward to reading your plans and goals. I surely have a lot to learn! 🙂
Isn’t that the truth?! Our kids are the perfect, simplest example of what we all struggle with when there’s not enough margin.
I’ve been trying to make plans for our new house as well and I would love to hear about your organization and management plans for the new house!
With Christmas and my little girl’s 2nd birthday coming up, I really need to take stock of the toys and box up so many of the ones that she doesn’t play with! I know that we’re going to have new things coming out of ears in the next couple of months…so creating some white space now would definitely be a good idea.
Clutter is stealing my white space – for sure! Both in terms of physical space and in terms of time/emotional space. We are blessed to have our needs covered, for sure, but we need to shift from an attitude of scarcity to an attitude of enough!
Clearly you snuck into my house and my closet. It seems like there is a common theme among women our age. Especially those of us who are housewives and mothers. You’ve helped to step back and look at where I need to create white space in my life. Thanks!
In a reply to one of the other comments you described social media as “noise,” and I think that is a perfect description. It *is* noisy and busy and buzzy – it lets me know I’m not alone when I’m home with the kids all day (a good thing), but it also clutters my head and heart with that buzz (a bad thing). It lets me know I’m not alone in feeling/thinking/struggling with what I do (a good thing), but it sucks up my time and engrosses me almost wholly (a bad thing). I could go on with describing this back-and-forth pull, and I’m sure many others have felt similarly. I notice a *tremendous* difference between days when I’m on the computer/phone and days when I don’t touch them.
I hope you will write more – either during this series, or perhaps after – about what you mentioned at the end of your post: your plans for household organization and management. While each family’s systems, routines, and rhythms are unique to that family’s needs, I’d love, love, love to read more about your thought process and approach to setting things up. I agree that thinking and planning are crucial to creating white space, and I’m very interested in seeing how you approached the white space of a brand new home. Thanks so much for writing this series. I’m enjoying it a lot, and looking forward to what is to come!
I turned my notifications off on my Facebook and Twitter about a month ago…and then, I turned them back on. Now? I want to delete them, too. Facebook and Instagram are my biggest white space stealers. IG I can somehow justify, but the others…I spend entirely too much time looking at a screen. It is nice to know I am not alone. 🙂
I am right there with you. I have actually been trying to reorganize our life this weekend. I just feel like we are always just treading water and meeting basic needs. I want to do so much more, but I’ve got to get the basics figured out first. We move too fast for our own good sometimes. Now it’s time to do a little catching up.
I’ve really tried to slow us down with our day to day commitments. They are good things — play dates with friends here and friends there, but when it becomes a hassle to get out of the door and packed and ready I lose time for the relationships with my kiddos. With W in preschool this year, I have realized that he is a homebody and definitely enjoys being here and we don’t need to do so much on the days that he doesn’t go to school.
Totally agree with all of those! Espeically instagram! ha I could care less about twitter or Facebook but I love and frequently check instagram! ha