five things we as mothers can learn from Duchess Kate in the social media era

*My friend Kristen is sharing a really fun and relevant post with you today. Though we both attended grad school at the University of South Carolina in the exact same building and in the very same years, I didn’t officially meet Kristen until we both started blogging. Since reading each other’s blogs, staying in touch through texting and social media, and then finally meeting in person at a Gamecock football tailgate, I love that I can call Kristen a friend. A trusted friend. She is a talented writer, has impeccable taste, and is a true friend. I love a friend who can give you the honest truth and have your absolute best interest at heart, and that’s Kristen. She’s a good egg! 

Hey, y’all! I’m Kristen, and I’m happy to meet you! When Erin asked me if I would like to write a little something for you to read this week while she is enjoying a much-deserved family vacation, a million topics ran through my head. As a full-time working (from home) mother to two beautiful children ages 3 and 5 ½ months, there are a variety of topics that I’m interested in and that I ponder on a daily basis.

I used to maintain a public blog, but after the birth of my son, Wynn, I took the blog private (and, quite honestly, I’ve rarely posted since then). It’s been a while since I’ve written for something outside of my work (I am head of marketing for a national insurance company and I direct all marketing and advertising efforts in 17 states). I wanted to write something light and fun, but also relevant!

If you follow me on Twitter (@kristenwatsonsc) or Instagram (@carolinakristen), you know that I am a huge fan of the Duchess of Cambridge. I think she is a beautiful example of grace and elegance, and following the birth of her first child online – from the Tweets proclaiming that she was in labor to watching the live feed of her taking those first steps out of the hospital with that precious bundle – was an exciting and fascinating time for me. I find it absolutely amazing that modern technology allows us to experience these life events as they happen, rather than waiting for the newspapers to fill us in in the following days. But modern technology brings uncharted territory, and our children are the first to actually grow up with social media. Our children are the first generation whose stories are being told to the world, live, as they happen. That sort of blows my mind, and as I watch the Duchess’ motherhood experience unfold, I can’t help but think that we could learn a thing or two from her.

With that, here are the five things I think we as mothers can learn from Kate in the era of social media:

1. Don’t be ashamed to let the world see your postpartum body.

Let’s face it: most of us moms want to put our best face forward on social media. If you’re anything like me, you hesitated showing photos of you leaving the hospital with your beautiful newborn out of fear you’d be judged for, you know … looking like you just had a baby. I scrutinized the full-body shots that my family took, hung my head over my round belly and swollen thighs and then vainly only posted the “selfies” I took (but not before I cropped out any evidence of my extra weight).

When Duchess Catherine walked out of that hospital proudly displaying that post-baby belly, I thought, “FINALLY. A celebrity who isn’t going into hiding until they can show off a six-pack. A woman who is tossing aside the pre-conceived notions and restrictive girdles and corsets that can only be described as torture.” (Ahem … Jessica Alba.)

I wished I could have been as proud as Kate. As unafraid. As … comfortable in my own skin.

To new moms everywhere: I pray that you feel a deep sense of pride in that stomach, because your body has just done the most noble, wonderful thing, and it deserves to be celebrated … not hidden (and definitely not punished with double corsets).

2. Know that there’s no such thing as the perfect mother. You will make mistakes, and sharing your life on social media means those mistakes may be documented.

When photos of newborn Prince George newly strapped into his car seat (for the first time) hit the Internet, a backlash arose as a result of the fact that he was not properly strapped in. He was swaddled beneath the straps, which were loose, and the chest clip was in the wrong position. The new Cambridge family wasn’t five minutes out of the hospital, and already they were being judged widely.

I have personal friends who have been called out for “improper” car seat safety on social media. It’s unfortunate, but the mistakes we used to make in private now can be in front of 500 of our closest friends and coworkers.

Here’s the bottom line: NOBODY IS PERFECT. Not even royalty. Making mistakes is part of parenthood; we learn from them and we’re better for having made them. Unfortunately, in the era of social media, our mistakes may be documented from time to time – and there seems to be someone who is always willing to point them out. We have to be willing to accept this, forgive ourselves and move on!

3. Do understand that what you post can live forever.

Once we send something to the Internet, it’s out there. “Screen shot” technology means that something could be immortalized forever. Just as William and Kate will undoubtedly double-think the details they share about their son, a future king, we should give our children the same consideration — knowing that what we share could stare them in the face when they’re 18.

4. Try to resist the urge to share every detail.

This is one that I struggle with daily, as I think of my social media circle as a group of friends that can share my happiness along with my struggles. My regular labor and delivery updates on Twitter and Facebook had my dad joking that my social media circle would know about my child’s birth before our doctor! But as I grow older, I see that there is value in keeping some things sacred. Could the Duchess have been forthcoming about her due date, clearing up the confusion surrounding the real date? Sure. Could she have had someone live-Tweeting her birth? Absolutely. Could she have confirmed the potential names before choosing one? Of course. But those details were kept private. Those details were decidedly for their family only. I find that refreshing – and something I will try to remember when the “share” button is so tempting.

5. Smile and be graceful even when others aren’t the same.

The media hasn’t always been kind to William & Kate. They’ve leaked VERY private photos of them, gossiped about their every move and denied them the privacy they have requested during the most sacred times. In fact, it’s been rumored that William has always blamed the media for his mother’s tragic death. Nonetheless, William and Kate were kind, accessible and downright charming when they made their first public appearance just 24 hours after the birth of their son. They didn’t have to pose for the photos and provide the lucrative sound bites, but this modern, graceful couple embodies the class that puts them on the permanent high road – someplace I think we’d all like to travel.

I’m definitely not an expert on social media, and I’ve made more parenting mistakes than I can list in one blog post. As social media technology and channels change and my experience and knowledge grows, I would like to think that my philosophy on how I use it will adapt based on the needs of my family. At the end of the day, that’s all we can do – make the decisions we think are best for our family. That’s what Will and Kate are doing, too … and I pray the world is kind to them as we watch!