I have some funny thoughts about Mother’s Day. I know it’s just a Hallmark holiday and it’s not to be taken too seriously. So we don’t really take it all that seriously in our house. There are cards, and my kids’ teachers were sweet enough to help them make some handprint gifts for them to give to me. Those are really the sweetest things about the whole day.
I don’t take Mother’s Day very seriously until I look at my children. And then I am overcome with emotions about what it means to be their mother. I am the one that is celebrating because Hudson and Hayes Carroll are my boys.
And what an incredible gift that is.
I am not a perfect mother. I lose my temper. I snap at them. I don’t always give them my undivided attention. I could stand to play with them more and there are many times when I wish I could hit a “mute” button at our house.
They are not perfect children. They don’t always obey and they don’t eat all their vegetables. Or, really, any vegetables except green beans. They throw tantrums in public over silly things. But they are my boys.
And it’s when I stop, and look Hudson right in the eyes while he’s grinning at me and saying, “let’s pretend to tickle each other and both laugh” that I see every little piece of joy in that moment. In his grin and his bright brown eyes that are smiling at me. Smiling at me because I’m looking straight at him.
I’m so thankful for his grace. Hudson has taught me the true meaning of grace. As I’ve messed up and as we’ve both navigated this journey together. He’s my first and I’m his only mama. He trusts me and he’s the one that taught me how to trust myself. He made me a mama. I anxiously tip-toed and second guessed my way through so much of his short life. And we eagerly awaited each new milestone, almost in an effort to check the box to move to the next box.
He is full of sweetness. Full of wit and hilarity. And I love so very much that we have inside jokes. I’m not sure how it’s possible that Hudson has grown up so fast, but I am no longer looking forward to his new milestones because I want time to stop.
Then there are the moments when I’m busy folding laundry and watching the news, and I finally notice that Hayes has been running circles around me just trying to get me to look at him and laugh at him. So I look up, and we both give our biggest fake laugh, and I tell him that he is so funny. And he says, “I did it, Mommy!”
Yes, my sweet Hayes. He is the one that got me to relax as a mother. He’s the one that showed me that I don’t have to walk around with tension in my shoulders as I wait for the next new motherhood moment that will challenge me. Hayes is the one that has made us all laugh and lighten up and just enjoy each day for what it is. And we aren’t always anticipating the next big milestone. I’m not second-guessing myself.
I know that perfection is unattainable. We’re soaking up each day in a new way.
Maybe that’s how it always is the second time around.
So, today, on this Mother’s Day, I am thankful for the mama that my boys have helped me to be. And I pray daily that I can grow and show them the way to the Father.
The greatest legacy for a mother is the faith of her child. I am humbled by your skill as a mom and your unwaivering faith in Jesus Christ. Happy Morher’s Day, my precious daughter.
I love you, Mom! Thank you for the example you set for me. I pray I can be half the mother you were.
I was thinking the exact same thing this morning…my daughter made me a mom and my son calmed me down. Not sure if that will hold true now that we are in the toddler season! Enjoy your day!
Haha! The toddler season is hard, but it’s much easier the second time around. 🙂 I promise! It’s still loud and full of craziness, but much, much easier.
Beautiful. Happy Mothers Day, Erin!
Thank you, sweet LeighAnn! Happy Mother’s Day to you!
what a beautiful post! Your love for your boys shines in such an amazing way in this post! happy mothers day!!
Thank you, Aubrey. They’re so special. Happy Mother’s Day to you!
Wow! Amazing post. You spoke ight to my heart. I too had very tense shoulders with my firstborn. But I feel so much more relaxed with my daughter. :). Thanks for the great post!!
Thank you for this post. Just…thank you. Perfectly said. Happy Mother’s Day!
Love your momma’s heart. 🙂 Those two precious babies are so lucky to have you!
Happy Mother’s Day Erin!! I read your first comment from your momma and it made me tear up a bit. Seems like she is an awesome mom to aspire to be like. Though your blog is just a glimpse into your life its obvious what a patient and loving mother you are.
What a beautiful post! Happy Mother’s Day!!!
This was such a beautiful post Erin! I”m not very good with words and this post spoke so much truth to my life as well. Your boys are so blessed to have you as their mama! Hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day!!!!
We also use “ugly” in our house to describe attitudes, not appearance. I was chastised one day in public by a stranger for saying “you’re being ugly” to one of our sons and had to explain the context and meaning. I laughed about the exchange afterwards that not everyone uses “ugly” in that way.
As someone with (slightly) older boys, I can encourage you that they will keep talking, you just have to open for just the right time to chat. My oldest (8) loves to talk to me in the afternoons while his younger brothers are asleep and I’m folding laundry. While I would love to use that quiet time to read or just be by myself, it seems to be the time he is most open so I take advantage. You will learn when those times are too.
As usual, this is so beautifully written. I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day.