I’ve got a little bit of a case of writer’s block. Nothing in particular really comes to mind, but I know that I’m having a hard time quieting my mind.
It’s hard to focus on small little events and stories because there just seems to be so much noise around. We’ve got political conventions and constant commentary on social media. It’s the beginning of a school year and trying to make sure nothing is forgotten.
Normally, when I have writer’s block, I’ll just crank out a little brain dump and list a few self-depricating things and toss in a little bit of mom snark and… there’s a blog post. Ta-da!
But this has been convicting me lately. I know, for a fact, that a couple of those little “mom snark” posts have hurt people. While that is never my intention, I can say that it is true that I wasn’t even thinking about the possibility of hurting someone. I wasn’t considering others at all.
It’s probably someone who just pops by my blog every so often and doesn’t know me all that well, but it still happens.
A few weeks ago, our pastor spoke from James 3, and taming the tongue. And when he also talked about “taming the tweet” and “taming the blog post” or “taming the Facebook update,” I was frozen.
How many times do I just throw words out there like they don’t matter? Just throwing words out there to have something to say, so people can hear me?
He spoke about how each word should be carefully considered because, written or spoken, our words are lasting. They leave an impression on everyone who hears them or reads them.
And if I write a blog post to joke about the “adventures in motherhood,” I know that my words don’t come from a mean-spirited place. But that doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt someone who is reading it who desperately longs to be a mother.
I’ve been so convicted by his message, and still find myself just spewing words out there that could be hurtful. And, I know, I’m human. We all struggle with this. With the political comments, the mommy wars, and even SEC football, there’s always something or someone to critique.
But the constant “noise” of social media– having the access to hundreds, thousands of voices at one time through various outlets and apps– is not only noisy, but can be destructive.
I want my words to give life and encouragement. I don’t want to unintentionally hurt. Goodness, I don’t want to intentionally hurt either.
So this is something I’m working on. I have to constantly remind myself to watch it. To step back and think before I speak or write.
Is this something you struggle with, too?
James 3:9-12
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
*If anyone is interested in hearing the sermon I mentioned, just click here where you can watch or listen.
I do know what you mean. It’s tricky to use a blog to record and vent your thoughts and then realizing that maybe you shouldn’t be so open. I have, at times, gone back to a written journal if I need to really vent something, but I also stop and consider whether what I’m saying/thinking is valid or if I need to give it a lot more thought. Does that make sense?
If you are looking for blog material, I find that going WAY back to a past even (childhood, young adulthood) and recounting an old story or one that you now have a fresh perspective on is always a good writing exercise.
I’m so proud of you, and am so grateful to have you in my life!
I just love all the posts you do. You appear on the outside to be this person that I would honestly be very intimidated by but you seem so down to earth and normal that I really forget that sometimes. You have two beautiful children, get to stay at home, have a beautiful home, a golden retriever and a husband who provides well for your family. To me, that just automatically means oh I could never relate to her. Instead, posts like these show just how well you really do relate to people.
For me, I struggle with writing about being excited about having a second baby because it was nothing for me to get pregnant either time. Trust me, I know fertility struggle first hand. I’m an only child because of it. So I get wrapped up in that and don’t want to speak my own joy about both of my babies because I don’t want to hurt someone else.
Erin, I love that you care so much for others. It sets you apart from the many who write to incite emotions in other people. It definitely sets you apart from those who write to intentionally hurt or irritate others. Please don’t be too hard on yourself. As a fellow blogger, I can appreciate the reminders to watch what we write and how we write it – I too want to ensure that I never hurt anyone’s feelings. But, please don’t change the way you write too much! I would hate to see you censure your honesty. Your truthful accounts (and yes, the snark too!) is something I love about your blog!
I want you to know that your words have always given me encouragement & given me hope. I love the little posts & do & the bigger ones. They always are a nice break in my day & somehow refocus me. Also, you literally called me while I was writing this! xoxo
I am a long-time lurker, but this post has driven me to leave my first comment. I am one of those people who is having trouble having a baby. However, I read all of your posts, and have NEVER found them hurtful or anything close to it. I follow a number of mommy blogs (which sounds weird for a non-mommy, but, like yours, they started as wedding blogs), and I could definitely point to a few that probably need to tame themselves. Blogs that come off as out-of-touch, smug, vain, or narcissistic. However, I have always found your blog to be the antithesis of these. It is always thoughtful and measured in its opinions and content. I am not trying to contradict or invalidate your feelings on this subject–I just wanted to throw out my honest opinion.
Thank you for writing this post! It has been so hard for me to calm myself when I see tweets and what not about political commentary. I’ve found myself thinking nasty things and it is so not right to do. We are commanded to LOVE and when I’m thinking these hateful thoughts, it is far from right. I know that God is in control and no matter how heated I get, he is still on the throne, whether the president is on his or not. I’ve been taking Matthew 7 to heart from our Sermon on the Mount series and I am convicted to strive for better. Thank you 🙂
Thank you so much for this post! Your honestly is refreshing and your words really hit home today…so much so that we linked to your post from our blog http://www.wefancythat.blogspot.com, hope that’s ok! Keep sharing!
This is one of the reasons I love your blog – you are so genuine, humble, and honest. I am always inspired by posts like this.
I tend to kick myself a lot when I say the wrong thing or make a mistake. I try to remember, though, that every day is a brand new day, full of chances to make the right choices and say the right things. And I feel encouraged when I think about how I am not alone in these efforts or on this journey – God is right there with me and with all of us.
Wonderful post! I struggle with this daily and really needed to hear this today. Thanks for the encouragement! 🙂
this is a very good post because it’s true and I am going to really think about this myself!!!
Love this. Love your heart. I also have a long way to go in this effort. I’m so thankful for the Godly influences I’ve found through blogging and twitter like you. XO
Blogging is such a fine line because it’s your blog but it’s also somewhat of a public forum on the web and some people are going to take offense no matter what. I just want you to know that I’ve been reading for years (back when you were just getting married) and you’ve never written anything that I find would be mean or hurtful. You should never have to justify your life or your to web strangers! I struggle a lot with this when I’m doing shopping or outfit posts, should I feel bad that I like expensive handbags or clothes? I mean it might sound totally shallow but if my husband and I work hard and we can afford it why shouldn’t I be allowed to buy it and post about it on my own blog.
Wonderful blog post and great message! I felt the same way in church a few weeks ago. It’s so easy to just say what’s on your mind without a filter, especially with facebook and twitter. I think we often forget that even though our intention is not hurtful, it can be, even with those who know us well. I’ve also been trying to be more aware of what I’m saying and if it is really necessary to say anything at all. Love your blog!
Great blog post! I appreciate your honesty and your willingness to talk on this matter. The points you made are so spot on. And the scripture is very convicting. Thanks so much for sharing this! I’m going to listen to the sermon link you left…
I took a break from blogging this week (aside from the W2WW post) and it has been refreshing. I know that it has helped me to read posts with the mindset that the blogger was doing their best to say what they mean and not offend others. There are many times I will start reading a post by a blogger I like and then decide to just stop reading because I feel like it will frustrate me (a lot of times it has to do with the topic or foul language.) I’m not sure what it’s like to write a post and have someone misunderstand your intentions, but I’m sure it must feel bad 🙁 Have a great weekend!
i always feel especially admonished by the blessing part, too. thank you for the remind that it isn’t just about avoiding the hurtful but being actively life-giving.
so thankful to call you friend!
Great blog post with some inspirational content… thanks for the post!
Yes, yes, yes – I worry about this all the time, particularly since my humor (or attempts thereof) is a little sideways. We all do the best we can with this, knowing sometimes even then people will take (or find) offense where none was intended, but this is a great reminder to be mindful about the attempt.
I love your blog and maybe it’s because I’ve been following you for quite some time now or because I don’t let silly unintentional things bother me or effect me, but I’ve never thought any of your musings were directly or indirectly intended to hurt or upset any of your readers. I think we all struggle with taming our tongues in our blogs or just in our daily chatter with others. So keep doing what you are doing and showing off your beautiful family – I will always remain a follower! :). Happy weekend!
Erin, I love you and your posts and I know that people who read them can see your hear and how genuine you are! I have DEFINITELY been struggling with all the racket of social media and I often feel like I’m taking a step back, but still dangling in the water. I wish everyone would get something from this post. People make intentional snarky comments and it does tear people down or make them question themselves and I think it’s unacceptable that people think this is just okay. You speak from your heart and I know you wouldn’t intentionally aim to drag anyone done or hurt any feelings.
xo
Like many others have already said, you are always so honest and down-to-earth, I consider you my “friend” although it’s likely we’ll ever meet. To me, you always seem to speak from a place of such sincerity – no matter what you happen to be talking about . . . and I love that. I think that’s what makes you so relatable (if that’s even a word). Yours is my favorite blog of several I read, and that’s because you’re so genuine – inside and out. Keep up the great posts!
This is a great post! I love how honest you are. Please know what an encouragement you are, too!
With blogging/social media, I think we can all say things that are taken out of context and are not perceived the way we intend them to be perceived. In an in-person conversation, it’s easier to know when someone’s being funny or joking around than it is online, especially if you’re reading someone’s blog for the first time. It’s evident from your blog that you are a true and genuine person!
Long time reader, first time to comment. I understand what you’re trying to say. While some people are just mean and BLLLAAAHHH, there are others of us who may just be too tendered hearted. Sometimes I get in a tissy when I listen to real life friends (or read blogs about) Mom’s complaining about staying at home with their babies. There is nothing I would rather do in this whle wide world. But financially, it’s not an option for us. I work upwards of 60+ hours a week and sometimes only get to see the baby for 30 minutes in a day. (I leave for work before he wakes up, and often get home just in time to tuck him in bed.) It’s a double edged sword both as a blog reader, and a blog writer. While I want to stilll read about your day and your life, but sometimes I”m so envious! 🙂
This post truly spoke volumes as to what I’ve been experiencing in the blog world lately. It seemed as if I could relate to every word you just posted on this topic. You certainly ministered to me and lifted me up, this post couldn’t have come at a better time. Thanks, Erin.
That was just beautiful.
absolutely wonderful and encouraging. this is so who you are and why so many people love you. challenged to be a better blogger by you.
I’ve been having a lot of the same thought lately. And the noise, oh the noise. I’ve been letting that get to me a little too much lately which has certainly not helped with the taming of the you gue.
Nice post, but I seriously am shocked to hear you offended anyone. I appreciate all your honesty and humor, and feel like if they don’t want to read it, fine–so be it! If they want to easily be offended, good lord, check their facebook for status updates! I’m amazed at the stuff people shove down each other’s throats whether it be religion, morals, politics, or where they buy or not buy their chicken sandwiches…the list goes on! I’m certainly not saying that I don’t have an opinion over these things, but I treat fb as a place to share funny stories, ongoing news, and pictures of my family! For God sakes, I’m sure Morgan Freeman was a bit offended when it circulated that he was dead last week on fb! I was in a state of shock as well 🙂 In any case, Erin, I’m a huge supporter of you and your blog. In fact, you’re my favorite blogger!!! My advice– keep doing what you’re doing, and those naysayers can move along!