*My blog friend, Kendall, just had her second baby girl last week, and she asked me to write a guest post for her blog while she’s enjoying her sweet newborn time. I “met” Kendall when she left a comment on my blog and then a little while later I blogged about Tracy Turpen’s wedding photography contest. Kendall entered the contest and won! Tracy captured Kendall’s beautiful family so perfectly on Kendall’s wedding day. Kendall’s story is one of faith and complete trust in God. After Kendall won the contest, she and I bonded over our love and appreciation for Tracy Turpen. And now we both miss Tracy and her talent terribly.
I am so excited for my friend, Kendall, and her new arrival. When Kendall asked me to guest blog for her this week, my heart went right back to the weeks before we welcomed our second baby boy.
My mind was full of worry. My heart was already completely full of love for Hudson, our first. I already loved our unborn baby so much. I couldn’t even imagine how much my heart could grow to accommodate all of that love once he arrived.
And the day that Hayes was born was so completely bittersweet. There isn’t a better word for it. We heard his sweet cry for the first time and it was instant. He was ours and we loved him completely right then. I couldn’t wait to hold him and kiss his head and be able to see Todd holding him for the first time.
When it was time for Hudson to come meet his baby brother for the first time, I felt some huge nerves. I had this overwhelming fear that Hudson would look different to me. And he did! For two years he was our tiny baby, and then all of a sudden he was our big boy. He was four times the size of his baby brother and he grew up right before my eyes in that moment.
Thank you for this post. While I know it’s actually pretty common, I rarely hear people talk about the sadness they feel about adding a second child to their families. One of my defense mechanisms seems to be anticipatory grief. I get anxious and sad about things that I’m worried about and so often they end up being so much easier than I feared.
It’s amazing that as much as we wanted baby number 2, I’m really having a hard time getting excited about this baby. As I was putting Monroe down last night, I realized that a part of me feels like when this new baby comes, we’re going to lose Monroe. I know it’s not true, but it’s how my heart feels.
I grew up as an only child, so I know that I’m giving him a tremendous gift in a sibling. I have no doubt it will be a blessing to him in the long run and that it won’t be long before he can’t even remember life before, but for right now, I’m just a little sad for him.
Erin, I felt the exact same way! Even crying while taking care of my first baby because I mourned that she was not my only child anymore. It did not take long for me to get in the groove. I agree, that every day gets easier with two kids. Henry learning to walk made a world of difference!