Note: I decided to do the potty training post. There are “potty” words in the post. If you don’t care about reading any of this, then just skip on over. Apologies in advance.Â
Now that this is out of the way…
Any of my friends can tell you that I was so stressed about the idea of potty training. When Hudson was just over two years old we gave the “3 day potty training method” a good two-day try. And then I lost my mind. And my patience. And Hudson just wasn’t getting it. And the last thing in the world he ever wanted to do was sit on the potty. Especially sit on the potty every 15 minutes.
There was never a moment when he came to get me to tell me he needed to use the potty. So we stopped potty training, put on some diapers, and promised to revisit it.
At Hudson’s two year old well visit, his pediatrician told me that we needed to serious about potty training or completely potty trained by his three year old well visit. We didn’t exactly meet that deadline. Hudson turned 3 on June 5, we had his well visit on June 15th, and then on June 28th we went to my parents’ house.
I decided to just tackle it while we were with my parents. Because Hayes is just all over the place right now, I wanted an extra set of hands for a couple of days so Hayes didn’t have to spend the whole day standing in his crib while I sat with Hudson in the bathroom.
When I got to my parents’ house, my dad and I went out and bought a little seat that sits on the toilet. I didn’t want to use a little potty seat. So we got the little seat for the toilet, a step stool, and lots of character underwear.
On Monday, July 2, Hudson got up for the day and I told him to say goodbye to his diapers. So we put the diapers away. (We didn’t throw them away because Hayes will totally be using them in a few months.) Then I let him choose which underwear he was going to wear.
He walked around in his brand new underwear. I told him to let me know if he needed to go tee tee. Â About twenty minutes later, he came and got me and told said, “Mommy, can you get a paper towel please?”
He had an accident.
So we sat on the potty for a few minutes and he never went. He went back to playing and about thirty minutes later had another accident. We cleaned it up and sat on the potty again, but he never went.
Then he didn’t go again for four hours! He just held it and held it.
And then he pooped in his underwear. I took him to the bathroom and we cleaned it up and flushed the poop. Hudson sat on the potty and then he peed! And he got so excited!
And then he got 5 jelly beans for his success.
So we put the underwear back on and went back to playing. About an hour later, he said, “Mommy! Hurry! I have to tee tee in the potty!”
So we ran to the bathroom, and he sat down and that was it. He got it! He had two accidents at the very beginning of the first day and then he got it. And, other than an accident at our friend’s house that weekend, he hasn’t had another “wet” accident in three weeks!
Now… the poop took a few more days. (Sorry I keep having to say poop.)
Hudson went in his underwear on Monday. Then again on Tuesday. And then he didn’t go at all on Wednesday. On Thursday, we played in the baby pool outside and he was kind of running around the house naked after that. I could tell he was uncomfortable and needed to go because he was kind of whining. I just knew.
So I took him to the potty and just told him to try. About three seconds later it was over. He’d done it! We called everyone to the bathroom and had a celebration.
And he got 10 jelly beans for that success!
And he hasn’t had another “dirty” accident since that day. Now he comes and gets us every time he needs to go. And now he wants us to close the door and give him some privacy. I don’t blame him. Maybe he’ll give me some privacy when I’m in the restroom now.
He wears a pull up for naps and bed time. Sometimes he wakes up dry, but not often. He insisted on wearing his underwear for a nap one day and it went well. And then the next day it didn’t go well at all. So I think we’ll give him a couple of months before trying to jump that hurdle.
So this is what we didn’t do:
- No charts
- No stickers
- No 15 minute timers
- No sitting on the potty for hours
- Rewarded with candy
- Waited until he was 3 years old so he could decide on his own that he wanted to do this
One of the reasons I delayed so long was because Hudson never ever wanted to talk about going to the potty. When we’d ask him about it he would say, “NO POTTY!” He was not interested.
For some reason, I am more proud of this accomplishment for Hudson than I am about birthing a 10 pound baby!
And one of my fears was that we’d start the training process too early for him and it would go on for a year. I didn’t want to have a year of accidents every time we left the house. I wanted him to start and I wanted it to click. I didn’t want these giant battles.
The truth is, potty training was completely out of my control. All I could do was create a positive environment and try not to stress him out.
I do have a hilarious story. When we drove back from Indiana, we stopped at a Cracker Barrel for lunch and Hudson had his first public restroom experience. I was changing Hayes’s diaper at the changing station and my mom took Hudson to the potty. I could hear him protesting and saying he didn’t want to sit on that potty. And then I heard him say, “It’s working!!!” He was so excited!
So I really don’t have any advice because I think this is just what worked for Hudson. It was an incredibly positive, stress-free experience. I was praying the night before we started that I would have patience and be understanding. And I just prayed that we wouldn’t butt heads.
I’m really proud of Hudson for reaching this milestone and crossing this big hurdle. And now that I’ve potty trained one child, I know that I don’t need to be so scared about potty training another one when the time is right.
I have an almost three year old boy who is potty training on his terms. I started when he was 2 and he had no interest. Occasionally he would go and get excited, but he just wasn’t ready. As he got older he talked about it more and I could tell he was finally ready. I also use a pull up for naps and nighttime, but we are doing great during the day. I think every child is ready for their milestones at different times. As a parent you have to ignore society, baby books and even the doctor (sometimes) and follow your mommy gut and do what’s right for your child.
Props to you on taking Hudson on a long car trip. I am super nervous to venture far in the car. I just picture us stopping every 20 minutes.
Thank you for giving this Momma with a two year old little boy encouragement and more importantly, some peace. I constantly hear grief when I’m asked about potty training and I say I’m not trying because I know Oliver isn’t ready yet. It is so refreshing to hear that you went with your instincts and sure enough ( as it usually turns out) you know Hudson best and know what will work for him, and you. 🙂
That is such a big deal!!
so awesome! Eme is 2 years 2 months old, and I feel all sorts of pressure to PT her…but then again…I don’t. New baby coming, and I know she’ll regress anyway. Plus, she does the NO POTTY thing. When she asks to go? I’ll put her on it. But it doesn’t result in anything. So I just wait.
I honestly don’t care if it’s closer to age 3. I just need it to be done by age 3 so I can send her to preschool 🙂 HA. Truth 🙂 But I love the idea of them just GETTING IT….rather than it being a long process. So I’m totally with you.
So helpful! Thank you. I always feel that with little boys and potty training it is best just to wait until they are ready.
Loved this post! I am on the verge of starting potty training my daughter (who will be 2 next week) again. She is the youngest of 3 but my only girl, so it feels like my first time potty training. She has pooping down and will tell us every time when she has to poop and hasn’t had a poop accident in a good 3 months! I feel like that is a HUGE start being she is not even 2 yet. However tee teeing in the potty isn’t so easy. She wants to go and does go if I can manage to take her every 10 minutes. The girl drinks A LOT so we were in there all the time. I gave up when school let out (potty training with 2 older boys around wasn’t easy) and put her in pull-ups, telling myself at least she poops in the potty. I think if I limited her drinks that would help but haven’t brought myself to doing that in 100 degree weather. Did you limit any drinks while training Hudson?
Once my older 2 are back in school we may give it another try but I am not pushing it, she is still so young.
Congrats on having Hudson potty trained it is a big milestone to hit for sure!!
I was able to potty train my 25 month old in 8 days earlier this year. To the contrary, my son wasn’t potty training until age 3 either, but I didn’t take the same approach as I did with my daughter. I followed a method which appears to be very similar to what you mentioned in your post. I took a week off work and we didn’t leave the house. While it is very HARD work, the reward was WONDERFUL. My daughter “got it” after about day 3 and by day 7 we were able to make short trips out and about. I used jelly beans as a reward too, but only because it was close to Easter. She did so well at naps and at night…she still have an occasional accident
I am so excited that I don’t have to buy diapers or pull ups any more. That is such a money saver!
Congrats on your feat!
That’s great! I did the same thing with my now 6 year old boy….waited until he turned 3 to potty train and he got it right away. I was so thankful for the positive, stress- free experience potty training was, for both me and my son!
Good for you! Good for him! One idea that worked for all three of my children (2 girls and a boy) is to put a pair of real underpants UNDER his pull-up at nap time. He has the safety of the pull-up, but gets the feeling of being wet with the underpants!
I so needed this post today! Our daughter turned 2 in March. I didn’t feel like she was ready at all but felt a tremendous amount of pressure to start. We tried the 3 day potty training method and it was a DISASTER!!!!!! She held her pee for HOURS and then when she finally peed she cried and told me it hurt! I decided it wasn’t the right time! She pretty consistently tells me when she needs to poop but I am not putting any pressure on her regarding either right now! If I ask her if she needs to go potty she says NO emphatically every time. It is so hard for me but I just keep reminding myself that I need to have patience and she will get this in her OWN time not anyone else!
That is wonderful! And you’re talking to a mama who didn’t really get serious about potty training until her son turned 4. We bought a potty seat at 18 months, just to have in the bathroom to perhaps encourage things. Then we moved and it didn’t get unpacked right away. We bought the cool underwear for his Easter basket when he was 3 and he loved wearing them — on his head! No interest at all. He did go from time to time on the potty and would get excited, but it wasn’t consistent. Started to be a little more so close to his 4th birthday, but then his party and the holidays and diapering was just easier. His ped was not at all concerned and told us not to stress, 4 was a normal age for boys to get the hang of it. Then came spring and a trip to Disney. I made it my goal to have this done by the time we left. There was lots of naked time, lots of rewards, lots of private tears and feelings of failure (by me), but he got it! And all about a week before we left for vacation. Just a couple wet accidents and one number 2 accident (the poor carpet in the play room never saw it coming!) but then going number 2 actually became easier for him than pee. Go figure! He still wears a pull up at night. It’s dry about 5 nights a week, but I’m nervous about that. He still naps and is dry every time. There have been a couple accidents, but whatever. In Disney, he learned the art of standing and does it all the time now. He basically did it on his own. I was just there to witness his triumph. Admittedly, I feel I may have subconciously delayed this milestone because he is, and will always be, my only baby and this was the last thing that made him still a baby in my mind. But we are all much happier now and he is still such a cuddle bug so I know I will always be my baby no matter what 🙂
That’s awesome. Yay for a stress-free potty training experience! 🙂
Great post, Erin. My daughter is just mastering the potty herself, and I am so with you. Let them figure it out and there is very little training to it. My mom claims that the only thing she had to teach me was to wash my hands. Someone told me once that it is just another use of their body, the same way kids learn to walk on their own, based on their development. Could you imagine if there was this much societal pressure about “training” kids to walk? All kids are different but everyone get there in their own time.
James started to potty train himself at 18 months. Seriously. He would tell me when he needed to poop (but not tee-tee). However, he was starting one-year-old preschool in the fall and I didn’t want them to undo all of my potty training so I didn’t push it. And then when I SHOULD have potty trained him at 2 I was largely pregnant and didn’t want to. 🙂 This summer (he’ll be 3 in October) I’ve just let him take the reins and he’s really done it! We’re almost totally out of pull-ups during the day. I haven’t ventured out with him in undies yet, but I’ll try that a few times in the next couple of weeks. My struggle with that is that I have a baby to drag to a public restroom, too. Oh well. Congrats, Hudson!
I have 3 kids…2 boys, one girl. Generally speaking, girls are usually a little “ahead” of boys in most things. My daughter was 2 y/o when she potty trained…and ASKED to do it. Both boys, true to form, we’re 3. But, like Hudson, they were totally ready and it wasn’t a battle. That being said, my older son still wore Pull Ups at night til he was 6! I was getting kind of worried when he stopped peeing in his pull ups from one day to the next. My youngest son is now 4 and pees A LOT during the night. We actually double up the night time diapers! He is nowhere NEAR ready to be Pull Up free! They’re all different and all on their own time table. This is true for all the milestones. What we all need to remember is that they will be fully potty trained by the time they go to college! ;). Good luck!
I can’t believe your ped put so much pressure on you at 2 yrs old! My son didn’t potty train until several months into his 3rd yr and it was a breeze with hardly any accidents- b/c he was ready and he wanted to. People shook their heads at me and scolded me, etc about my 2 yr old not being trained (we did try earlier like you did, but it failed miserably!) a friend pointed out to me that she didn’t know anyone in college who wasn’t potty trained and just relax- and I thee decide to ignore everybody else and just go with it, avoiding a whole lot of stress and aggravation that I am certain would have continued until he was at the same age he trained on his own . Moral- wait til they are ready! I am so glad things went well this time for Hudson.
Hi Erin,
This post is a great example of wonderful mothering. You did the absolute right thing in waiting until HUDSON was ready. Good for you for not giving in to pressure. Only YOU and YOUR HUSBAND know your child well enough to know when he is ready for something. You are further contributing to his self-confidence. Before you know it, Hayes will be wanting to be PT, too (it is so much easier with that second boy – he will want to keep up with big brother!). Seriously, I hope there are a lot of Moms and Dads out there who read this post who become convicted that they do not need to rush their children into PTing when they aren’t yet ready. My fourth (and last!) child turned 2 (on May 5 like a certain little mister at your house :)), and he loves to watch his big brothers, and from time to time he will ask to get on the potty, but he is just not there yet. Thank goodness his preschool will take him in diapers until he is in the 3yo class the fall after this one. I am totally not stressing because something will just click. Also, your jellybean idea is fantastic.
Anyhow, I am leaving you a huge book, but thanks for encouraging others with your postive words and parenting ideas. Amazing!!!!
Have a great weekend.
Jenny
My Keller was 3 1/2 before he was trained. We had the same kinds of things happen – he wasn’t interested AT ALL. We decided to go cold turkey on the diapers & that is what worked for us! He would treat pull-ups like diapers & I was getting so frustrated. It worked much better when I didn’t stress about it & let him do it on his terms. 🙂
Way to GO Hudson!
We have a very similiar story. Kaden will turn 3 at the end of August and about 5 months ago we gave potty training a try and we failed miserably. I decided that it just wasn’t time that I would let him tell me when it was time. I took the week off over Memorial Day, invited my niece and nephew up here to help occupy my one year old and we went to work. The first day was another complete fail, I was in tears, he was in tears. I had done everything the books said-take them to the bathroom every 15 minutes, charts, toys, if they recommended it, we did it. Day two I threw it all out the window. I told Kaden to let me know when he needed to go and that day we had just one accident and that was on the way to the potty the first time. I rewarded with suckers for the remainder of that day and then only gave our suckers for going poo. He has been potty trained for about 2 months now and has done awesome. We do pullups at night but he has quickly mastered naptime. I was so proud of him and I completely agree with you, it has to be soemthing they are ready to do for themselves. His sitter has commented that she has never had someone potty trained so quickly in the 15 years she has watched her kids.
Thanks for sharing. I think its important for other mom’s to know that its okay not to have your kiddo potty trained at or around his 2nd birthday. And that it might just be better for everyone if you waited till they were interested.
This is exactly how Brody’s potty training experience was for us. We started with him 2 months after his 3rd birthday. He never had a wet accident and after a few rewards he caught-on to the other! 🙂 I’ve told people potty training is probably the easiest thing we have done as parents because we waited until he was ready and until he could take responsibility for the process.
Thanks for posting this! My little boy is just 16 months old, but I want all the information I can get for when it is time to train him. I’m so glad you had such a good experience. I hope ours will be the same!
I wonder why your pediatrician pushed you to have him trained by his 3 year well child check. Many kids, especially boys, are not ready until well after three years old. We learned with our eldest that the more you push before they are ready, the longer and more frustrating the whole process will be. Our son is two months shy of turning 4 and is finally regularly pooping on the potty. It took a full 6 months for him to accomplish this after being completely potty trained for pee.
Hi Erin – thanks so much for doing this post. First of all, congrats on Hudson being potty trained! I am training my 3 year old and doing lots of the things you did with Hudson. It is going pretty well. Our main issue is, George really only wants to go to the potty for me. Sometimes he’ll let my husband help him. But when the babysitter asks him, he says, “No, I only do that for Mommy”. So for the time being the babysitter isn’t pushing it and we are working on it when I am home (I work outside of the home). I feel like you get so much pressure (from parents, in-laws, other mothers, pre-schools, etc) at age 2 to potty train. George had NO interest. Now, he does. I’m happy we waited. The only pressure I feel is that he must be trained for pre-school in September…but I think we will be there. I appreciate your post and what worked for you. It gives me re-assurance that what we are doing is what is right for us. Have a good weekend.
Erin, thanks for posting Hudson’s big accomplishment. I hope to try again with my almost 33month old son soon. I was getting discouraged that he wasn’t getting it, and feeling lots of pressure from others. I also have a 3 month old son and just don’t have the time (or frankly energy) to work on it, but I just saw this article yesterday about why it may actually be harmful to train your child too early, and feel better about the situation. Hopefully we will try again in a few months with more success. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/early-potty-training-harmful/t/story?id=16806522
Erin, this is off-topic, but what is with the negative Romney ad running on the header of your blog? It mentions Virginia, which is a swing state, are we the only ones seeing this?
Thanks, LeighAnn. I think I got it taken care of, so the political ads won’t run on my blog. Thanks!
i had a similar experience with my daughter — there was all sorts of pressure to potty train as soon as she hit 2, to potty train before before my son arrived when she was 2.5. and that was the goal. and then my son came 2 months early. and i could have cared less about potty training. i saw my friends going nuts with potty training their 2 year olds and i just didn’t want that extra pressure combined with a preemie. two months shy of her 3rd birthday, she found out her “boyfriend” was in big boy undies. and that was it. no stickers, no charts, no timers. good old fashioned peer pressure. she just decided she was ready and she did it. she had maybe 5 accidents and that was it. it was such a positive experience…one that i hope to recreate for my son, now that he is 2…
That’s great! It’s funny how “bathroom things” make us excited now, isn’t it? We used candy and little matchbox cars for the boys. Even to this day (at just turned 5 and just turned 3), they’ll sometimes still ask for a car or truck when they use the bathroom. And they’re both fully potty trained! We still use pull ups at night, but we’re working on weaning them off of those as they don’t have accidents. I think I’ll buy some plain white pull ups instead of the normal Cars next time and see if they still want them!
That is AWESOME to hear!! I know you say every experience is different, but I may be book marking this for the future. I’m terrified of potty training. I love that you took Hudson’s lead and didn’t push it. I know so many moms who push it, and make it a controlled experience and that just doesnt work. Kudos to you! (and Hudson–woohoo!)
I so dread doing this one day, but I totally agree that waiting a bit longer until they’re ready makes life easier on everyone. Like you, I don’t want to deal with it for a year, make it a negative experience for everyone, and have accidents any time we leave the house. My friend waited until her son was 3 to potty train him and while he had a few accidents, he caught on pretty fast for the most part because he was ready.
Erin- this is a phenomenal post because I think most of us moms hear the words “potty training” and are overcome with anxiety about it. We used the same method with our older one, shortly after her 3rd birthday as well and now the almost 2 year old is asking to go potty all the time- so here is hoping that hayes might pick it up from Hudson and it will be a breeze! Great job mama!!!
Both of my kids so far have trained themselves. I joke that I don’t know how to potty train kids because I’ve never done it. One was almost 3.5 years old, and one was barely 2.5. They will do it when they are ready, and not before. I noticed that my friends who started when their kids were 18 months or something were still dealing with it at 2.5 or even 3, so I thought, “Why push it??” Truly, I would MUCH rather change a few diapers a day than deal with accidents.
Neither of my kids has ever had a public accident, and by not pushing it, they had no anxiety about it. My first pooped in a baby potty at a friend’s house one day, and never looked back. I hadn’t even mentioned it to her! I was in no hurry, ha! In fact, when my son was 2.5 and insisted he wanted to go to go on the potty, I tried to talk him out of it!! But he insisted and never had a single accident. Ever! =o
My third is almost 2, and you can bet I’m not even thinking about it. 😀 She’ll do it when she feels like it. 🙂
Loved hearing Hudson’s story!!! You did it the easy way!
I love this post–even though you used potty words 😉 What an exicting time in your house…and a nice break for your wallet!
I’ve been reading so many articles lately that say that it’s way better to wait until the kids are closer to 3 before potty training!
my son was 3yrs, 2mos when it ‘clicked’ with him, and i am not ashamed of that. and knock on wood, he has never had an accident. why make everyone miserable when the child isn’t ready. my youngest son turned 2 on june 23rd, and i have no desire to potty train him until he’s 3. best thing for all of us 🙂
Good for you! What a relief to have at least one out of diapers, huh? My 3rd son didn’t get trained until he was 3 and he was definitely the latest and EASIEST of the 4 to train.
What you need to do soon is get him to “tee tee” standing up. What a great thing for when you’re traveling and encounter gross bathrooms. With my older two, I had them too used to sitting down and then standing up was a struggle. With my youngest, we did standing up right from the beginning and so he was never weird about it. Just a suggestion.
I waited until my child was ready too and it went ver quickly and smoothly. It was ages ago, but he never wet his bed or his clothing. We used pull-ups exclusively until i was 100% sure he had the hang of it.
yay! congrats to hudson and congrats to you too, momma! it IS a big deal. 🙂
libbi was the same way – she “trained” so easily once she was “ready.”
and she tells us ALL the time that she needs “privacy” but unfortunately, we learned the hard way (with her) that she isn’t quite ready for privacy, just yet. haha. think overflows, too much TP, and a plunger. yikes! 🙂
I’m glad you posted this! I have a long time before I’ll be dealing with potty training but it is always a fear in the back of my mind. This definitely made me dread it a little less.
Thanks so much for openly posting about this. I tried to train my son 6 months ago and he just want ready. I also was trying to go exactly by the book “how to potty train in less than a day.” I tried again a few weeks ago using the book and we stopped after 30 minutes of frustration. Honestly, this was a hurdle I just couldnt pass. I was seriously wishing I could hire someone to give my son potty lessons (like swimming or music!). But reading this really helped me relax, take a deep breath and realize I could do it. We are on day #2 in underwear and it is going great. We are both excited! Thanks!