When I say the word “procrastination” I actually say it like I’m singing the old Rod Stewart song “Infatuation.” Anyone else? I can’t help myself.
Anyway. I’m not usually such a big procrastinator. But when it comes to planning Hayes’s first birthday party, I have put the brakes on in a major way. When I think about his party, my stomach gets in knots and I start to feel panicky.
It’s not because the planning part is a chore for me. I love planning parties- especially parties for my family! I actually have most of this party planned out already.
This is a completely different feeling than I had with Hudson. But I am in complete denial that my baby is turning one. I’m full out resisting the inevitable here. In less than a month, he will turn one, and I don’t like it one bit.
Hayes is my bitty baby. He buries his head in my shoulder and loves being held. He loves to sit in my lap. He’s not a wild toddler yet. When I close my eyes, I still think that he’s two months old and sleeping all day. It is just impossible that an entire year has gone by.
from August 2011
I’m supposed to stop giving him bottles soon. He’s supposed to eat table food. He needs to wear shoes on a regular basis. The old ladies at church won’t excuse me for having him sock-footed when he turns a year old. (We own shoes for Hayes, but he doesn’t keep them on his feet, so he just wears socks most of the time.)
I’m just not ready for this day to come. I’m not ready for him to grow up.
I’m thankful that Hayes was slower to reach milestones because he really stayed a baby for longer. I’ve definitely done my part in making sure I didn’t make him grow up too quickly, but his first year has been one of the best of my life. I love that sweet little love bug so much that my heart aches when I think about him.
Can y’all remember when I was so stressed about bringing another baby into our lives because I just couldn’t fathom how my heart could accommodate anyone else? Hudson filled up so much of it! I was so, dead wrong. So, so wrong to stress over that. I love Hayes in the same exact way as I love Hudson, but also in a completely different way. How is that possible?
I just don’t want him to grow up. But he’s going to. And we’re going to have a big fiesta with lots of family and friends on May 5 to celebrate his first year and the people that loved on him in that year.
I remember your stress of loving two babies. At the time I thought it was a bit odd, of course you can love more than one child. Now that I’m pregnant with my second, I’m afraid I feel the same way! I’m so glad that you wrote about this today because I can keep telling myself that everything will be just fine.
Too sweet for words. I love the seersucker jumper! Beautiful family
so sweet! I love that pic of you two! I’m feeling the same panicky feeling and I’ve got 3 months (to the day) to go. I can’t even muster the words to type her 9 month letter today because I’m in denial that she’s 9 months old. I can’t imagine 12 months. I think this month it hit me that she’s not my itty bitty anymore. She’s so independent and ahead of things and is nearly walking for crying out loud. I begged and pleaded with her last night to STOP growing so fast. How is life passing us so quickly these days?
I told you this on Twitter, but I am in such denial over Landon turning 1 soon too! This year went by SO fast!
I’m glad to hear that you love your second son as much as your first. Part of me is so scared to have another baby in a couple years because I can’t imagine loving anyone as much as I love Landon.
My son is driving a car! DRIVING! On real roads! Today I had this moment when I realized that I cannot accept the reality that he will move away in a couple of years and not be here every day to make me laugh. I have a favorite photo of him as a baby that I look at often and every time I do my heart gets twisted up with that feeling of missing my baby. I feel the same about my daughter who is wearing eyeliner (and applying it quite masterfully) and talking about boys and wearing sassy outfits and begging me to buy her high heels. High heels! I would like to hit the pause button for a moment so I can rub my achy chest and catch my breath.
Happy almost birthday to your adorable baby boy! May babies (I have two) are fantastic!
My baby boy turns 1 this Saturday…crazy how fast time flies! I have heard babies are supposed to be barefoot as long as possible…
Erin – I can just tell that you are such a good momma! What a blessing you are to those two little boys! Thanks for sharing your heart on this – as a mom to just one (so far), it’s so nice to read someone else’s experience/thoughts/worries, etc.!
I’ve still been reading your blog – just usually early in the morning or late at night and not always able to comment, due to a little person needing my attention. 🙂 I had the exact same fear of “how will I love Sydney as much as Amelia?” My heart just instantly grew when she was placed in my arms! Crazy and wonderful how that happens. I can’t believe sweet Hayes will be one year old either. He’s still just the prettiest baby!
Man, that feels like just yesterday! I remember getting so excited for you as you counted down the days to your little Fiesta Baby! Good luck with the party, I know it will be as fabulous as all of your events!
Oh, I LOVE that my second stayed a “baby” a little longer than my first 🙂
Love that sweet boy! I cannot wait to celebrate his first birthday with you all next month!
I cannot believe he’s almost a year old either! Although, I have to admit I’ve been dying to see his First Fiesta since the month he was born! 🙂 He’s just too cute for words– your sweet little mini me! I had the same nervousness when I was pregnant with Slade– thinking there was no way my heart could love another child as much as I loved Carson. I even tried to get my mom to secretly admit to me that I was really “a little more special” (I am NOT kidding– that’s how much my brain couldn’t comprehend the love for more children)… but lo and behold, I ADORE all of my boys equally, as you now know too! 🙂 Isn’t it incredible the love God gives us for our babies?
I am discovering that this, everything you said, is how it feels to be a second-time mom. Lots and lots (and lots) of people talk and write about how it feels to be a first-time mom. . .and then you hardly hear anything about the particular feelings with a second child, beyond the pre-birth nerves about loving another baby. After that, I wonder if people just figure they’ve already said all there is to say about infancy, so they don’t re-hash. But EVERYTHING that you said about Hayes is exactly how I’ve felt about my second daughter. She is three now, and my older daughter is 6, so we’re a little ahead of you. But even two years down the road from where you are, I STILL feel that way. I still just cherish and cling to every passing moment with this little girl, in an almost desperate way that I don’t with my oldest. I know that it’s because, with the first, everything is new and uncharted, so it’s exciting to wonder what comes next, exciting to wonder when they’ll take their first step, what their first word will be, what it will be like to take them to their first day of preschool, kindergarten, etc. Even for those of us who love the baby stage, I think we can’t help rushing just a little with that first baby, just because of the excitement. But by the time that first one is a toddler, we’ve learned two incredible lessons: how completely, indescribably amazing it is to have a baby; and how horribly FAST it all goes. We learn that the most repetitive piece of advice is spoken by every older person for a very good reason: it really DOES go too fast, and we really should enjoy them when they’re little. So while I don’t know if you plan to have more babies, in which case you’ll get to enjoy all of this another time (I would envy you!), but for me, I know that we’re done having babies. (And yes, I’m very sad about that. I’ve had two pretty traumatic c-sections and I can’t do it another time.) So holding onto every minute with this second “baby,” even in her current terrible-threes stage (3 year olds are MUCH more difficult than 2 year olds in our family), because these last days of toddlerhood are just so precious, and so limited.
That’s an epically long way of saying I’m right there with you, sister. Plan and enjoy a super fun party for that baby, but you hold onto his baby days as long as you can–in my book, they are babies until they’re two! Oh, and I’m not sure if you ever listen to NPR, but there was a really great piece about mothers and sons on Sunday, and I think you’d really love it. It’s only 6 minutes long, so listen here:
http://www.npr.org/2012/04/08/150072253/ignore-the-mamas-boy-myth-keep-your-boys-close
(Copy and paste that if it doesn’t link, then click on “listen to the story.”)
I can’t even imagine. It goes by so quickly.
I’m at that stage right now where I can’t imagine loving anyone the way I love Tyler.
And you and Hayes look like twins in that photo! So precious.
I feel the same exact way about my little Aiden! It seems that this year has gone by too quickly. I am also happy that he hasn’t hit the milestones as quickly as his brother did because that would mean that I wouldn’t get as many cuddle times as I do with Aiden. I wrote a post about this before, but I think we want to hold on to the moments with our second child more because with our first we know how quickly the days,months, and years go. It seems to hurt more with the second when they start growing. I’m glad I’m not the only one who is also in denial that one years old is right around the corner.
Can’t believe Hayes is turning 1! It is such and exciting and emotional time. The first year seems to go by so quickly. It reminds me of a quote my mom always says “The days are long but the years are short”.
On the shoes. I did not put shoes on my Hudson regularly until he could walk. He was always taking them off and it was just something else to keep up with. I plan on doing the same with Ella. Although she has some cute girly shoes for special occasions. Happy Planning! Looking forward to seeing the party come together.
Hey Erin 🙂
I totally relate to how you feel and Brynley is my bitty baby too! Knowing she’s my last, I find myself wanting to savor each and every moment snuggling her compared to how I was when Ryder was a baby, always excited for the next stage he went through!
It’s bittersweet to think of her turning one this September! You have the cutest parties so I can’t wait to see Hayes party!
Laura
awww I can’t even imagine bringing another baby into the world yet, I can’t imagine how I will feel about my LAST one (we only want 2) turning 1….
awwww…look how little he was! you’ve packed a lot of living and SO much loving into this first year of his life. you should be so proud of yourself. you have lots to celebrate. i can’t wait to see pics of the celebration you are planning to plan 🙂