I always thought of myself as an extravert.
We moved a lot so I learned quickly how to start conversations and talk to new people. Many of these new people probably thought I was weird. Who just walks up to someone and starts a conversation? But I had to find ways to make friends. And I made friends.
I’m friendly and I always want to make sure that other “new people” feel comfortable and welcome.
But I never really liked social situations with tons of people. I still don’t. In those situations, I feel like I have to find the faces I know as soon as possible so I’m not wandering around looking for someone to talk to.
I don’t love small talk. It just feels awkward to me.
Fortunately, at this point in my life, as a mom of two, making good friends has been relatively easy. Most of these women have just popped into my life. Really, God put them there for me. Because He knows that I don’t like to go out looking for friends.
I’m sure that as the writer of this blog, where I put my heart “out there” every week, I don’t seem like such an introvert. But I can’t see you when I tell my stories. This is therapeutic for me because I’m not telling this stories face to face with someone.
And it’s not that I don’t enjoy being with people. I absolutely do. I just prefer to be with small groups of people and I tend to thrive in those settings.
My life has taught me how to be an extravert, but it’s just not who I am.
So I’m curious. Which one are you? An introvert or an extravert?
I’m a lot like you, and I think I’m an introvert. But in the “right” situation I can seem very outgoing. I just don’t like large crowds, and if I have to be in a large group, I want someone I know with me. I think you’re probably a combination of both.
I think I’m a lot like you! I think I’m friendly and always want to make new people feel comfortable too – so I have no problem talking to complete strangers.. but then there is a huge side of me that is totally content going shopping for 8 hours all by myself! I guess I like a happy mix of ME time and then group setting time 🙂
Hi from another introvert, I seem like an extrovert too but I’m not. I think one of the best definitions of introvert/extrovert is if you recharge your batteries by being alone or being with people. I definitely recharge by having alone time, then I’m good to face the crowds again. Love your blog!
I could change your name and it would sound just like me (except I don’t have kids)
I moved so many times growing up that I learned to make friends. I really don’t like big situations either. And small talk, ugh!
There was a fascinating public radio program (of course there was!) on introversion a couple of weeks ago, and it made me realize that I’ve been misusing both terms… I actually think most of us do! It turns out the true difference between extroverts and introverts isn’t if you’re shy or outgoing, but in the number of stimuli you prefer to have around you. Introverts prefer to focus on just one activity or a one to a few people at one time (ex: coffee or a drink with one or two friends, small dinner parties), while extroverts enjoy lots of stimuli, with several activities and people happening at once (ex: large dinner parties, big cocktail parties). In this respect you’re absolutely an introvert – but isn’t an interesting that it really doesn’t have much to do with being shy or not, as we always assume?
I, too, always thought of myself as an extrovert. But upon further thought, I don’t think I am anymore. I have trouble in social situations especially when I don’t know anyone. My anxiety gets worse as I get older. Most the time, I feel most happy at home with my family and people I already know. It feels “safe” to me. So I think I’m losing a bit of my social butterfly tendencies. It started happening when I had kids and was home more. Not sure what to think about this change.
I’m definitely an introvert. I’m most comfortable around small groups of people and I’d rather hang out with friends one-on-one rather than in a large group. People that don’t know me would probably think that I’m a very shy person, but if you’re my friend I can be very talkative and friendly.
I am very similar to you! I always thought of myself as more of an extrovert, but I have found recently that I am definitely an introvert. I like being around people, but I enjoy small crowds or being with people that I know well. New social situations stress me out, especially if I don’t know anyone. 🙂 I am also misunderstood sometimes because I am the type to sit back and wait for others to come to me, so people have told me that I seem arrogant or snobby…..trying to work on that. Love your blog!
I’m an introvert but few people believe it because I work in marketing, conduct training sessions and do a lot of interacting with clients. At the end of the day though I still feel like the shy girl who would rather read a book than do anything else. I’ve found that it’s hard to explain being a homebody who doesn’t mind being outgoing for small bursts of time, so long as every so often I can find time to regroup without being “on”.
I like to think of myself as an extrovert, but really I’m an introvert who can be good at faking an extrovert. I don’t like big groups of people. I much prefer a small, intimate party to a big, loud one. I have a feeling we are pretty similar on this one.
I am definitely an introvert. I spent so much of my teenage/younger 20s trying to be that outgoing extrovert, but it’s just not me. I’ve embraced who I am, and I am so much happier now. Being an introvert isn’t a bad thing. It takes all kinds to make the world go ’round!!
ME TOO!! This is perfect. I’ve been kind of thinking about myself lately and how weird it is that I’m outgoing and willing to talk to most folks, yet in crowds or at parties I tend to wish I was a wallflower. My neighbor, Carolina Mama got to meet you at Blissdom and she said you were so sweet!! 🙂 Happy Friday!
I think I’m just like you! I moved around a lot as a kid and have pretty good social skills, but the idea of a party or social gathering without a close friend or my spouse, is sort of out of the question.
Most people misuse the definitions of introvert and extrovert. I am outgoing and talkative, but an extreme introvert. I am very protective of my alone time. As one gets older they seem to meld more into being an introvert.
Looks like I’m one of the few, lone extroverts…and I’m kind of the opposite of you! I can be shy when meeting new people and sometimes quiet because I *try* to think before I talk because I have tendencies to just start gabbering and stay things that I shouldn’t, which is super embarrassing because I also have the fun affliction of getting red-faced.
Anyway, the best way I have heard introvert vs. extrovert explained to me is that introverts are drained by most social situations and extroverts get really energized by them. Which is why I’m always the last person to leave my small group meetings 🙂 Either way it’s nice that so many of us can use blogging as an outlet…for me it’s the editing where I can work on exactly what I want to say since I have a hard time doing that in social situations. Happy Weekend!
I’m beyond introvert, I’m painfully bashful, but I’m friendly when I need to be. Like you, I’m pretty much an open book here on my blog, but like you said, I never am face to face with someone when I’m posting. It’s also easy to be friendly with strangers when I’m out and about, maybe it’s just a southern thing, we have kindness in our genes, but it’s harder for me to actually come out and get to know people most of the time…I’m rarely the one making the first move…giggles 😉
I’m a total, extreme intovert, which is super interesting to me because I have 8 kids, and 7 of them are girls, and only 2 of them are introverts too!!! Also, my husband is an exrovert and so, I ‘ve had to really try to be a good balance of both extrovert and introvert, but I really, really do not want to be an extrovert. I totally identify with you when you say you really don’t like small talk and you would, in a social situation, find those familiar faces and quickly make a bee line for them! That’s me. I think I can hold my own in a social situation, but after a while I just get tired of it. I prefer small group settings and deep, soul talk! This was an informative post for me!
PS: the blouses you feature in your style post are soooooo adorable!!! I never thought I’d like or wear that style but I can see myself in those blouses, and the flats, and the earrings!! Thanks for giving me some great ideas, because I consider myself fashion-challenged! I wish I had the money and really someone who wanted to be my personal shopper!!
I’m definitely an introvert too. I’m friendly and always make sure to talk to others and make them feel welcome but I feel awkward in large groups of people. As a stay at home mom, I’ve had a difficult time making friends over the years because I’m not around a lot of people but God has slowly introduced a couple good friends into my life and I’m so grateful for their friendship. Finding friends who are real and trustworthy are really hard to find. Love your blog, by the way!
I am an extrovert. We moved a lot when I was younger; it was good preparation for the military life. 🙂 I don’t mind large gatherings, but I certainly prefer the deeper relationships over extended seasons of chit-chat. I find that most people also want those more meaningful relationships, but I see social media, a lack of teaching in the home, the general narcissistic tendencies our culture, and disregard for biblical teaching crowding out the very thing we want most. In general, there is a lack of commitment, loyalty and simple knowledge of how to BE a friend regardless of personality types.
I’m an extrovert – I did one of those Myers Briggs tests and it put me on the Extrovert line, but kinda close to introvert.
I am such an introvert. I think that’s why I love blogging so much, and the community here, because it’s “safe”. It takes a LOT for me to call someone up and ask if they want to get coffee. Since becoming a mom, I’ve been better–but I thank God for social media like facebook and twitter to contact people. Isn’t that lame?! Funny thing is, I grew up doing musical theater and even majored in it in college. So that part of life, NO ONE would believe I was such an introvert. I like to stay at home with my family, and read, and I overthink everything. I like being an introvert though 🙂
That is really interesting! I am definitely an introvert, although most people assume extrovert b/c I am a lawyer. But I’m happiest when alone or with a small group of close friends/family. Btw, I went to Anthropologie on my lunch break and got one of the tops you featured yesterday! It’s the shawl-collared one. I got the teal color, which doesn’t have the open mesh at the top. It’s so soft and comfy. Thanks for the recommendation.
I am definitely an extrovert…always have been always will be. I love meeting new people, going to new places. We still move a lot so it’s really great for me – it certainly helps building my community. ANd now with all the social media, it’s even easier to “come up” and introduce myself.
I am ABSOLUTELY an extrovert. Have you taken this quiz?
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp
It’s an awesome, awesome personality test. Here’s a link that explains the types SO well
http://www.personalitypage.com/high-level.html
You should totally try it, you’ll find it’s really accurate.
I’m a total introvert. I talk a lot when I’m with close friends, but I hate social events where I don’t know many people. I don’t do small talk well at all. It’s funny because my family is all extroverts so you’d think I would have gotten that gene, but I didn’t. I think they worst part about being an introvert is trying to make sure I do enough of the small talk that people don’t think I’m stuck up.
I too, am an introvert…but a lot of people who know me through work, etc. would beg to differ. My job requires that I be outgoing & chatty, give presentations, etc. but I’ve been told by my family that I can “turn it on” when necessary. I don’t care for large groups either & they used to give me full blown panic attacks! I’ve learned techniques to deal with my anxiety, but find myself making a beeline for those friendly faces in a large crowd (especially the ones I know!). After being “on” all day at work, I find that I enjoy my long-ish ride home in silence or just listening to the radio and that there’s often nothing I’d rather do than get lost in mindless TV or chat with my hubby. 🙂 Small groups are definitely my forte & where I thrive too. Have a great weekend!
I’m an introvert! I get very uncomfortable in large group settings which makes me come off as hard to get to know. When in reality I’m just insecure!
I’m an introvert. People who really know me probably don’t think of me that way, but in new situations and around people I don’t know, I’m pretty quiet. I’m also someone who isn’t good at chit chat because I don’t like to just make conversation just to have something to say.
I think that I’m both. I’m naturally a very outgoing person, with family and friends, but used to be extremely (like whoa!) shy when I met new people. I run into people I went to high school with and they’re shocked at how chatty and social I am…I always was, just only with select people. People who met me in college (when I really blossomed) cannot believe I was ever shy. haha
I love my “me” time and I also love doing things with friends. It’s a balance. But I’m perfectly content doing things on my own. I also hate small talk. I won’t go to events with lots of people if I don’t A) Know someone there and B) Have a specific time/place to meet up with them. I turn into a giant stressball at the idea of walking into a crowded room alone. Eep!
Can I just say I adore your blog?! My sister and I talk about you, and what you wrote like you are our friends! HA! You have great style, taste and fun parenting/life advice! And you have really helped me out on how to shop for a boy! I’m new at this after “dolling” up my daughter the past 6 years.
My friends and family would all say “extrovert” about me as well. However, I really love being home and in SMALL circles. I am not a “partier” or a large group kind of girl. So, I’d say you and I are a lot alike!
Love being with my co-workers at school and my mommy friends! Have a great weekend!
Just so you know I could have wrote this very post about myself! Word for word this is me!
Introvert for sure! (Now that I think about it, maybe I’m an extrovert when it comes to family. I LOVE hanging out with my whole extended family.) I’ve always had a good group of friends, but not a desire to see/be with them constantly. I just prefer my hubby and my kiddos. Plus, I’m pretty quiet in general, unless I’m around family or close friends. So I hope no one thinks I’m stuck up! And like you, I don’t care for small talk. I’m just not good at it and it can be awkward!
I feel like you just described me.
great topic!
i’d describe myself as a social loner…lol! i *very* much enjoy parties and gatherings…when i am rested and feeling balanced. i’m also the youngest of 6 kids (!) – so big families and large gatherings feel “normal” to me. that said, i like…no, make that NEED to recharge my batteries by being alone. i also prefer to shop and run errands alone (especially when i’m on a mission or am short of time). oh…and i’m perfectly happy going to movies and eating out alone too.
striking this balance has been one of the most challenging things about making the transition to being married. one of the reasons i married my husband was that being with him was literally JUST as restful as being alone 🙂
right now, i’m home early from work and am alone. my husband doesn’t get here for a few more hours and my stepdaughter doesn’t arrive for the weekend until tomorrow afternoon. i’m in heaven. i hope it goes without saying that these two people are literally THE loves of my life. it’s just that with these next couple of hours under my belt, i’ll be ready to enjoy our family time this weekend. i’ll be more available to focus and listen and soothe and support and laugh with them. i’ll be more available to *really* be present when i’m with them. i’ll be more available to truly serve my family
this weekend 🙂
hope you have an amazing one erin!
Yes, you are definitely an introvert. I am too. My work is going to allow me to permanently work from home soon, and I joke then I’ll be moving past introvert into the category of hermit 🙂
Anyway, there’s a great TED lecture that I just watched online about being an introvert. I don’t have the link, but google or YouTube should. Check it out.
fellow introvert here. i’m awkward and uncomfortable around people i don’t know, but around groups of people i do know, i’m fine. i went back to school at age 25, so i had to learn how to make friends again.
I am super shy so I tend to be an introvert until I get to know people. I always feel uncomfortable in large groups…especially when I don’t know many people. I don’t just walk up to people and start a conversation. I wait for someone to come to me. I wish I wasn’t like that- I wish I had more confidence to start a conversation on my own. It’s definitely something I need to work on. 🙂
Introvert….no question unless in a small group with good friends….
Definitely an introvert who had to learn to be an extrovert for my job. Now that I’m a SAHM, the introvert is back in full force.
I am totally an introvert. I can, like you, socialize easily and absolutely enjoy being with my small group of close friends but I don’t ENJOY being in a room full of strangers. My husband is an attorney also and we get invitations to parties from people he knows professionally and I get so nervous! I hate that about myself because he is a true extravert and gets “re-charged” while I secretly want to hide in the bathroom 🙂 maybe that is a little dramatic, but not much. I don’t know that it is something one could change about themselves though. I need quiet, alone time to feel energized.
I’m the same way—total introvert but with a few extrovert qualities that might trick some people into thinking otherwise. Large rooms full of people I don’t know freak me out, unless I’m in front of the room doing some kind of presentation. I know alot of people would hate that, but large groups only frighten me if I’m trying to “mingle.” Heavens, I hate that word. But if I can focus on 1-2 “new” people at a time, I feel much more at ease and actually enjoy the opportunity to make a new friend or 2. (PS, I have a similar post in my drafts but never could get it to make sense so I never posted it. 🙂 )
This is such a fascinating topic! I really started to think and read about it much more deeply after my second child – a little girl who I felt I completely failed to understand and who’s needs I seemed to not be meeting. As she turned one and certain aspects of her personality continued to solidify and others emerged and I was STILL clueless, I did some online research and read a few books too. What I learned was life changing. It gave me a stronger understanding of myself (a fellow introvert) and why I behave/react the way I do, and it helped me to do the same in others in my life – both of my children, my husband, and even my students (I’m also a high school teacher). As it turns out, my daughter is much more like my husband (both extroverts) who enjoys being out with people and all the stimulating and interesting things that involves. Her big brother and I are content to stay home or simply have a friend over to play. Her behavior suddenly began to make much more sense, and the more I read and understood us both, the better our relationship has become. At 3.5 she is now a delightful, happy little girl and I am a much less frustrated mother. Anyway, there are a number of interesting books but the one I found the most useful is Understanding Your Child’s Personality, by David A. Stoop. Just wanted to share the resource and to let you know that recognizing and understanding your own personality, and then your children’s too, can really be beneficial as you venture further into parenting:)
I found Tracy Turpen through you – not sure if you’ve heard but Tyler has passed away, too 🙁
Ah, the introvert, extrovert debate! I actually had to take the full (and long) Myers-Briggs personality test. You then got your “code” personality (mine: ESFJ). Then at the very bottom that put each of them on a scale. It went from 50 points on one side to 50 points on the other side. I, my friends, was on the extrovert side, on the 1 point. So, in all honesty, I believe I’m both – matters the situation. As a professor, definitely an extrovert. As “just a woman” probably more of an introvert 🙂
I am the same as you. I always thought I was an extrovert, personality tests confirm this, and other describe me as extroverted. However, working in alumni relations/fundraising a few years ago made me realize I more introverted than anyone, including me, realized. I hate forced social situations, and I hate having to make small talk with people I do not know. Talk about stressful! I think the older I get the more introverted I get, too.
I am such an introvert. I used to be more extroverted as a child, but that faded away as I grew older. I’m also a very get-to-the-point person so small talk is really not my thing!
Hey Erin!
So I’m catching up now that we’re back from Hawaii. I feel like I’m always catching up though! Anyways, in highschool I was much more shy than I am now. I would say maturing and becoming confident helped but I definitely like smaller groups than a large group. I can’t imagine you being an introvert though! You’re beautiful and talented with a funny personality!