Over the years, I’ve written about contentment. And I’ve written about waiting for what’s next. Before we were engaged, I waited on the perfect job. Then I got the job and then waited on the engagement. Then it was the wedding. Then it was waiting to have a baby. And then it was about when we would have the second baby.
I like change. I’m just one of those people that grew up with change, so I like it as an adult.
But we don’t have any changes on the horizon. No job changes, no school changes, no additions to the family or plans to renovate or even buy some furniture. We’ve thrown around the idea of putting our house on the market to see what happens, but that seems like a shot in the dark. This is our normal. We are settled.
And that is a weird feeling.
It’s strange to be at an age where things are set. We have a routine and that routine won’t be changing any time soon. We have excitement and laughter and there are definitely things to look forward to. But it is such a strange feeling to know that we’re in a place where we’ll do the same things tomorrow that we did today (give or take a meeting, event or unexpected circumstance) and that will last for the next few years.
I can stop waiting. I wake up and enjoy these sweet years with these little people and my best friend. And pray through the struggles and praise for the joy.
Is this like “Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy” and this is the most random thought ever? Or have any of you ever felt that way?
It is fantastic and foreign to be at a point in your life where you think, “Okay. I’m settled now. I’m content and I’m done with waiting for something big to happen.”
Hey Erin. Great post. Happy for you. I have to say I envy you. But the good kind of envy, does that make sense? I am getting married July 7th and I am so excited but I would love to be in the place you are in, just settled. But I guess that’s life. If we don’t go through the phase of evolving, moving on to new chapters in our lives, then we’ll never get to that place of being settled. So I guess I’ll enjoy this growing and moving on phase. 🙂
I’m much more settled than I’ve been in a long time. For as long as I can remember, I’ve started sentences with “When I/we…,” and even though we plan on having another baby in the next few years, I’m find that I’m enjoying this moment much more than in the past.
I know exactly what you mean! I am torn between feeling settled and looking forward to changes. I am a planner by nature, so I am always looking forward. I got married last summer and I am really enjoying being a newlywed. We bought a house and I am enjoying fixing it up, so there are changes. But looking forward to the big things (i.e. baby) are something I struggle with. I want a baby right now, but then I think about how I also want to travel and spend more one on one time with my husband. I know we aren’t planning on trying for a year or so, but I really am having a hard time just settling in right now. I am absolutely on board with that plan, but I am just used to always being busy. Maybe it’s because last year included finishing up college, starting full time at my career, getting married, and buying a house. I got a lot of the big things knocked out in a year…but now I am having a hard time slowing down into the new routine. I love it, but it’s just kinda hard to not be looking to the next thing.
I am the same. I’m always looking toward the future, in a year we’ll be married and once that happened it was time to start thinking about a house and then a baby. Well we have all of those things now too and it’s kinda nice to not have something to “plan”.
You’re not alone. I have two boys that are almost the exact same age, Logan and Hayes were born just a few days apart, and up until now it was always about what was next. Now it is time to sit back and enjoy these two little ones before we make that decision to go for a third. Enjoy it! Oh and I love all your random “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy” posts!
I so agree. I just turned 30 last week and realized all of my big dreams had already come true- with my husband, house, job, and babies. It’s weird to realize that and it makes me wonder what is next, but it also forces me to stop and enjoy where we are 🙂
After 05 moves (new countries, new cities, new jobs, new houses, unsuccessful pregnancies) in 10 years of marriage, I am so happy to finally settle ( same city, same job and same house for the last 04 years). But there are times when we wonder, when our next BIG thing will happen. Right now, we are waiting for our miracle baby to be born in 05 weeks or less. As for now, I am content of being settled and I am so ready to enjoy the simple things.
Thanks for this! I have been feeling that way too. It felt like I was racing through life to get to the next thing…. college…..grad school…..marriage….baby. It seems so strange to just live each day, but it is wonderful too. I have time to think about things just for today, or next week. I like change and adventure. But now I’m a mom. Each little thing my little boy learns is an adventure, and he is changing each day.
Super post. And I’d say congratulations to you for accomplishing so much and for feeling so content where you’re at. Some people (I think it’s quite a few people) never seem to get to that place where they feel content and happy (regardless of the job, the family situation, the size of the house, the amount in the bank). It’s easy to always be looking for the next thing – and to forget about how great life already is. Yay for you and for your precious family!!!
I cannot wait to be in that place! I told my hubby the other day that I was ready to be out of transition and just be settled. I feel like its hard to enjoy where we are when we are always looking at everything as a “stepping stone” to the next thing. In my prayer life this is something I have been struggling with, praying for contentment and peace no matter where we are, transition or not.
Ahhh, being settled… how I long for that. Things aren’t upside down crazy over here, we’re just not fully, completely settled. We’re looking forward to the day we can move to our “forever house” in a our hometown… if the Lord sees fit, I should add. But I’m sure once we get there, if we ever do, it will feel sort of strange and foreign… and fantastic. =)
Thank you for this post. I am pretty much at the same place, but I have to say that I’m not at the content phase yet. I’m trying, but it’s so hard to let go of waiting for something big to happen.
I am about to reach a settled point for the second time. The first time I felt settled was when I bought my first home. I was content to live there when I was single and if God had plans for me to marry that would be great too. I met my husband two weeks later. Since we fell in love there has been about a 3 year looking forward period. Looking forward go getting engaged, getting married, getting a new job and buying our forever house. We close next week on it! I guess real estate settles me because while we want kids I feel like that is so much in God’s hands that I will feel settled in our new home and if we are blessed with kids that will be wonderful. I can’t imagine what life will feel like when the move is done, but the closer it gets the more content I feel.
Hey! Love this post!!! I’m currently at the other end of the spectrum! Nothing is figured out!! I’m always thinking “I can’t wait until…”! Boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 years now! Most of my friends are married and prego with #2, 3, & 4. However, when it comes down to it, I know God has a plan for me and no matter how anxious I am, his plan will come in time.
My husband just chided me for this! I was talking about how excited I was for a big vacation we have planned this summer, and he said “Nicole, you never stop and appreciate the moment! Why does it always have to be about what’s next?” We are homeowners, married, and I’m working at a dream job right now. Maybe I look for plans because I’m not used to being settled?! I may have to do a blog post about this- thanks for the inspiration!
“Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty” ~Socrates
it has to do with age..you are progressing , growing.. there willbe times of “the next big thing” but it is true..contentment he is the richest of men!
I too am beginning to feel “content” and it is very strange to me! my husband doesn’t care for change but I, like you, enjoy change- I like something to look forward to like that, but for now we have little things that change but not much and I guess that means I am learning to be content with what is the current situation- weird! Great post!!
Love this post….for the past few years I have continually been looking forward and not focusing on the here and now. Getting married, a new job, and a new house all within a few months had me feeling unsettled but I definitely feel like things are slowing down and I look forward to the point that you are at in your life!
I love how you’re looking at this season in your life. Some people {probably me} would look at “settled” and try to spice it up a bit… know what I mean? When I was 7 months pregnant with Zoe, and facing the biggest “settling” I’d ever experienced in life, I asked my husband if I could go to Africa on a missions trip. I’m not kidding you. His face was priceless. It took him HOURS to actually talk to me, and then DAYS to figure out if I was actually serious. I was dead serious. The way I saw it, it was going to be my last chance…. which isn’t true. But, still? I have a deep need for adventure, so I’m thankful for posts like this that help me look at “settled” and say… “You know what? It’s kinda cool”.
I can TOTALLY relate! I am right there in the same spot as you. I have everything I could ever want! Yet for some reason, I get itchy for change. I just signed my daughter up for another year of preschool next year and I thought to myself, wow…I am going to be driving this same drop off and pick up route over and over for sooooooo many days and months. ha! It’s such a tiny thing but it made me realize how much I enjoy doing and trying new things often….even driving a new route to preschool once in a while! Thanks for this post… its good to know I’m not the only one! ~Bri~
I understand you completely! We just had our third (and our last) child and I am now facing the same thing. In almost five years of marriage, we have moved to three different states and added three children to our family so we were in a constant state of chaos but now things are starting to settle and I feel like I may get bored with the same old, same old. I need to concentrate on appreciating the present and not anticipating what is coming next because I know one day I will think back to this time with much fondness and wonder why I didn’t appreciate it more?
I can’t wait to be where you are! We are about to put our house on the market and are planning to wait to grow our family until after that is all settled. So, I can see it on the horizon, but we aren’t quite there. Love this post!
I think it’s great that you’ve arrived there. I think once we close on our house, get it up to speed and have #2 on the way I will be there, too. It is SO hard to just be when you know you want more. The truth of it is that none of it is in our hands/control, and so we have to learn to trust that it will all happen in due time, but none of us are great at being patient!
I totally get this post!! I’m always looking ahead till the next thing – and I can relate to this post. We are not there yet – as I’m due in 4 months – but I can imagine how your feeling.. Have fun being settled!
I’ve been praying for contentment, so I’m glad you have it! I have the husband, the baby, and the job, but I want to move up in my job or I want to stay at home part time. I just like to be moving and achieving things and I like change, just like you!
This is something I’ve been thinking about for the past 6 months or so. For the longest time, I was doing the next-big-thing dance, too. Job, engagement, wedding, house… and now that we have decided to remain childfree for the foreseeable future, there is no next-big-thing to look forward to. I like being settled–our life and our routine are wonderfully comfortable. But I’m so used to looking toward that next big thing that sometimes I try to contrive it. I considered looking for another job, going back to school… but I know I should just be content in what I have for right now. For all that I like change, transition periods can be so emotional, and I should just appreciate the even keel I’m on right now! Settled doesn’t have to be boring, right?? 😉
I love this post! I have been like this all my life and even though we still have changes on the horizon, I really try and not lose the moments & days, especially with a little one! They go so fast! This is such a fabulous reminder though 🙂
These thoughts are how I imagine I will feel when I’m in my 30s (I’m 27 now) – and so much of the reason I so look forward to that decade! My (and so many others, I’m sure) 20s are/were such an adventure: undergrad and grad school, getting married, buying a house, having a baby, loving my job, figuring out and achieving some financial goals (thank you, Dave Ramsey!), starting to talk about having another baby… there really is just so much that happens in your 20s! And while I don’t doubt that my 30s will be fun and have unexpected twists waiting to be discovered, yes, I imagine that I too will start to feel incredibly settled and I am GREATLY looking forward to that day.
So glad you wrote this. I have to say that the “settled” feeling can be so unsettling for me…go figure. A struggle that I continue to entertain. We just had a “Big Move” that was our goal and on our horizon for so long that when it actually came true I didn’t even know what to make of it but slowly I’m adjusting. Glad to know others out there feel the same.
Oh, don’t bet on it! There’ll be change. Just when you think life is perfect or life is boring….here it comes. Hang on.
I love this so much! Thanks for your insight! I’ve always love love loveeeed change, and therefore sometime struggle with contentment issues. I’ve loved your posts about contentment, because I’m so there!
I probably feel more settled now than I ever have. Even though big changes are ahead next year, just the fact that we’ve spent nearly 4 years in the same home has me feeling settled (I moved a lot from the time I left my parents house until I got married). I’m not looking down the road as much for what is next. We do know we will be moving and have new jobs and feeling somewhat settled makes that hard, but it will be good in the end!
This was such a timely message for me today. Thank you
I told my husband that other day . . . I’m bored because nothing is changing. He said, “That’s life.”
It’s not always roses and fireworks and vacations and new homes. Sometimes it’s just . . . life.
Personally, I don’t usually like change, but I have some exciting ones on the horizon. I feel content with where I am right now. It’s a nice feeling. But, I must say that I believe contentment comes from within and not from your circumstances.
We’re waiting for what could be our last assignment with the USAF – when we leave Ukraine, we’ll be under 4 years until retirement. We’re ready (we think!) to settle down, but it’s also a strange feeling to think that we will not be part of the military communitry like we have been…very mixed emotions!
Really like this post! I am such a planner and growing up was always moving, doing something different and feel like that has continued into my adult and married life. My husband and I always joke that X year will be the year of no change. So far that hasn’t been the case…year 1- buy house, get new job; year 2- have a baby; year 3- do intensive marriage counseling/workshops, husband decides to go to grad school; year 4- get pregnant with baby #2; year 5- have baby, husband changes jobs and we move to Saudi Arabia…….. and doesn’t look like this year is going to be any different! I long for the time when we can not deal with big life changes. And even though we are not settled yet, your post reminded me to enjoy these moments and the people I get to do these big changes with and that one day we too will be “settled.”
Gosh, I’ve been feeling the same. We have a five and a half month old and I realize what I look forward to now is introducing solid foods and a dinner theater date night with my husband planned for two months from now. My life sometimes feels like a slog – I do our chaotic morning routine, go to work, come home, do our chaotic night routine. Repeat, repeat, repeat. But then I remember the unsettled nature of college and after college. Exciting not knowing what was next but also unsettling and restless. There certainly is some comfort in knowing what to expect.
I completely agree with this post and it’s weird. I’ve actually struggled a bit with how day to day things have become. But it’s good too. I guess this is grown up life??
I definitely understand where you are coming from – looking forward is a thing we have a tendency to do and we are used to seeing a next big step or leap to take. It is hard when you don’t see something like that in the distance when you’re used to it. Taking it day by day might not be so bad either! 🙂
I experienced this about a year after our wedding. After waiting almost 27 years, I met my future husband. We had a whirlwind romance and were engaged four months later. We built a house while planning our wedding and were married seven months after his proposal. We spent the next few months settling into a new home and married life. 18 months later, we are settled. We are happy and content. Life is just as it should be. We both long for that feeling of anticipation, so we’re traveling! We “wait” for our next vacation about three times a year. It’s great fun!
I honestly thing that I never really understood that I could be just content before Addison was born. Something about having my first baby settled me. I felt content at work. I felt content at home. I just felt like life was complete!
Enjoy being settled! I can completely understand this because I am in the waiting stage. I just graduated so I am waiting on the perfect job….then I will be wait on the next step. Enjoy being settled because I so look forward to it.
Great post! I couldn’t agree more. I’m in the “waiting to get engaged” phase and this post just reminds me to stop and enjoy the waiting stage as it is fun and exciting. I know the settled stage will feel different, but it will be fun and exciting in a new way.
The thing is…it is always changing…Like your older son will start giving up his nap and then he will go to school…etc. I am now looking UP at my teenage son while I still have a kindergartner. Seriously, there is never a dull moment. So I would say enjoy the peace because I assure you it will be short lived.
Gosh, I envy you. I’ve had way too much chaos the past two years… divorce, had to go back to work after 9 years at home, moved twice, etc., but the good news is I just got married a month ago to the man of my dreams, and our Happily Ever After begins … NOW!