For some of us, all of our lives we dream of being a parent. In some cases we just dream of holding a sweet little baby. Or you dream of taking your child to his or her first soccer practice. But I know for me, I had little snippets of images in my head of what things would be like.
None of these images include tantrums in public places. Or a child that refused to get out of the car and went limp in the parking lot when you tried to go inside the school.
These images don’t include your child losing his breakfast on the way out of town on a long road trip.
And they don’t include trip after trip to the pediatrician’s office for another round of antibiotics for a never-ending ear infection. Why won’t it just go away?
They didn’t include dinner time frustration as you attempt to spoon-feed your 8 month old for the 90th straight day and he still refuses to eat.
But these things are reality. Kids are kids. Hopefully, other people struggle with their kids in the same ways (or similar ways) that I struggle with mine.
When we were visiting my parents, Hudson and I went to a basketball game with my Dad. It was Hudson’s first basketball game. We thought it would be a little slow with a light crowd, so let’s take him. He’ll love it, right?
He loved it for about the first five minutes, but then he wanted to walk around. He wanted to go see the mascot.
I decided to let him walk around the arena concourse, but in his simple little 2.5 year old mind, he couldn’t understand why we were going left when he wanted to go right.
And the tantrum of all tantrums began.
He cried so hard he couldn’t catch his breath. He went limp. He screamed and kicked. I squatted down next to him and asked him to try to tell me what he wanted to do, but he kept saying, “THIS WAY!”
Unfortunately, “this way” meant that he wanted to go onto the court, which obviously wasn’t happening. My basketball days were limited to seventh grade try-outs and I never hope to relive anything close to that.
I tried to get Hudson to just walk (or even run!) around the concourse to burn off some steam. But he wanted to go onto the court.
At this point, people were staring at me as I just walked with him. He weighs 38 pounds, for crying it out loud. I was whispering in his ear that he wasn’t behaving as he should and that he needed a time out.
I actually found a corner on the concourse and had him stand there where he continued to scream. People continued to stare. You know they’re just wondering, “I wonder how she’s going to handle this.”
And I had no clue how to handle it. I’d done everything I could think of that’s appropriate for public discipline.
I ended up taking him outside. It was freezing. But I thought we could both cool off and calm down. It just didn’t get any better.
Fortunately, after about twenty minutes, it was half time and my Dad emerged (hallelujah!) and we went home.
Hudson had just gotten himself so worked up– to the place of no return. At that point, he couldn’t breathe because he was crying so hard. His mind probably couldn’t even remember why he was crying.
Sitting here now, in my calm, quiet living room, I’m thinking of what I could have or should have done in that situation. I’m wondering if I’ve been in public and if I’ve noticed another mom struggling with a similar situation.
But when I’m in tense, loud, heart-pounding moments like that, all I can think is, “stay calm.” Even though there’s a screaming toddler voice in my ear telling me to do everything but stay calm.
No, that’s not at all how I pictured this motherhood thing when I first held Hudson. In fact, when I look at sweet, happy Hayes who so rarely cries, I think, “there’s no way he’ll ever be two and a half, right?” Ha!
It’s humbling. I hope we can avoid a situation like that in the future, but I’m sure it will happen again. My mind will race wondering what I should do while I sweat and pray that no one is looking at me. (Of course they’re looking at me!)
Thank goodness for teachable moments for Hudson and for me. It’s all just part of the parenting initiation, it seems.
I think we all have a fantasy image of what life will be like. The house will be beautiful and perfect. The kids will be perfect. The marriage will be perfect. Sometimes it’s hard to grieve that our life won’t be picture perfect and that’s okay!
We’ve definitely all been there. You described the feeling so perfectly- trying to stay calm and the little one is “past the point of no return.” He will begin to learn that his actions have consequences, that’s what being 2/3/4 is all about! I have the same thoughts too when LB is looking and giggling at BB having a tantrum–“you’ll be there too, buddy, and probably sooner than I’d like!”
I have read your blog off and on now, but never commented before (love the blog by the way)
I just wanted to say thanks for posting this. Sometime in the mommy blogger world it is easy to see all the good aspects of everyone elses kids and think your is the only one that ever throws tantrums and disobeys. So thanks for being real. I am not glad you had a public tantrum, because those are never fun, but glad that you had the guts to share. Thanks. It meant something to me.
Have a good day!
Oh I love this post, not b/c it happend to you, but because it makes me feel normal! I feel as though I have teachable moments each day! When will they actually learn from them? I hope it’s coming soon, this is a hard age, although I obviously love C to pieces. The limp noodle tantrum is the worst. Love you and your sweet, tantrum throwing boy!
You got me thinking….. I’m 33 weeks pregnant today with my 1st child. It has been a tough road of unexplained miscarriages. And yet, I don’t have a lot of images of how it will be my life with baby Heloisa (for the good or the bad).
Thanks for sharing such a personal post ; )
You have just described my worst nightmare. I don’t have kids yet, but sometimes when I’m in Target and see the mom whispering to the kid that is have a meltdown of nuclear proportions, I feel awful. You can see that there’s nothing more she can do for the child except leave and there’s obviously no real “reason” for the child to be so upset. Then I feel bad because I’m watching it happen, but it’s like a trainwreck – you have to look!
I certainly never thought that MY precious baby would be the one screaming in a restaurant…but that happened to us just last week. Motherhood is amazing, but is sometimes a little different than I expected it be!
(Luckily, our check had just arrived when he started crying, so off we went!)
Thank you for posting this REAL and thought-provoking post. I say to my mom ALL the time….why didn’t you tell me it was going to be this hard?! When you think of having kids, you never think about sick days, tantrums or just bad days. But the thig with raising kids is you NEVER remember the really bad days….because the good days are just SO GOOD, and they totally outshine the bad ones. And that’s what gets all of us mamas through it!
My little guy is still much younger than yours, but so far (and with my sister’s 3 & almost 5 year old) we’ve both had a ton of luck with two books:
1) Happiest toddler on the block. As crazy as it sounds, the “caveman” voice REALLY works for us (and her). This one has truly made magical differences in stopping tantrums and moving on. Occasionally when we are at our wit’s end, I will remember this trick and the tantrum stops and we move on to something different.
2) Unconditional parenting. This one might turn you off a bit at first, but once you get into it, it really has some intriguing ideas.
Anyway, hugs!
I’m not a mom yet, obviously, but it sounds like you handled it well! As someone who hopes to be a mom, you’re right, those moments never really pop into my mind when I dream of motherhood. But it sounds like they are the moments that help families grow closer together when it’s all said and done.
xoxo
Erin, I have been reading you for a good long time but I don’t think I’ve ever before commented. My little girl is 18 months and has had a few meltdowns. One of them was in public and I felt the exact same way that you did. It is awful when you have done all you can, but you’re stuck in a public place with a screaming toddler and no control over how to make it stop. And the stares don’t make it any easier although I like to believe that most of those people doing the staring are sympathetic and may remember that once upon a time they had a screaming toddler too. Erin, you did all you could and thank you for sharing this not-so-peachy part of motherhood.
Your blog entry had me laughing! This is so my life right now. My child is 2 and cannot communicate that well still we are in the mist of crying and tantrums daily. I am happy to know I am not alone.
You poor thing! My boy is just a little guy right now- 7 weeks, but I get that feeling even when he just fusses in public. I know he’s an infant, and there’s nothing I can do about it, but when it attracts the attention of others you start to feel helpless. I know I’ve got a lot more of this to come!
We just have to hang in there and know that every mom has been through it at some point in time!
The other day at church there was a mom walking in carrying a baby in a carseat and trying to get her toddler in the door who was crying and resisting. The mother was by herself and I could tell she needed help so I went over to the toddler, knelt down next to him so we were eye level and said hello and asked him if he was excited about Christmas coming. He actually calmed down enough to tell me yes and let me take his hand and walk him to his mother a few feet away. I don’t have kids yet so I hope its okay for me to do that. She said thank you and they went on into church. I would never discipline someone elses child, but my instinct was to help her out instead of stare at them. Most people are compassionate and know you’re doing the best you can in the situation.
We have yet to have our first public meltdown, though I know it is coming. I just hope I can handle it without embarrassing myself or without having two of us in full meltdown mode. Parenting is TOUGH some days.
I don’t know if you’ve read anything about baby led weaning (I don’t know a ton about it, but I do know other bloggers have done it (Sherri from YHL did a post on it)) and maybe that’s the way to go with Hayes? You may have already tried this and I realize you aren’t necessarily looking for unsolicited advice here, but it may be something to check out. Sorry if this seems pushy or intrusive!!
Erin, we have ALL been there at some point! My oldest is my “most opinionated,” and I struggled with his temper and attitude for awhile. He is almost 5 now, and we still have struggles. I found that finding a quiet spot, hugging him tightly, and making him count to 5 or 10 helped him (and me) calm down and then we could talk about it. Sometimes it took more than one counting session :).
I still struggle with his temper and his tone at times, but I see that as my job to “fix.” As his mommy, I’m feel responsible for making sure that this “Boy’s boy” learns to be sensitive, too. He sees it in his father at times, for sure, but I guess I just want him to be kind of like Patrick Swayze? He should be able to be an action hero, and be sensitive at the same time :).
Thank you SO much for sharing this. Lately I’ve been saying to my husband and my mom that I honestly wonder if my almost 3 year old is the only one who has the longest, loudest, most dramatic, past the point of return meltdowns. I hate feeling that way about my precious little man that I love to pieces, but it’s true. The meltdowns have taken a toll! I SO appreciate your honesty and willingness to share. It feels good knowing I’m not alone. =)
Like what @aeot said, my little guy wasn’t really interested in food until he was like 16 months old. And now he eats like crazy! I was really stressed about it until I read a book that let me know that it was totally okay to let him choose when and what to eat. All I had to do was provide healthy options. I was freaked out (totally freaked out), but now I realize that the book was right. Also, he still eats a lot for three days then doesn’t really eat for three. It is hard not to worry and try to push it, but then I remember that the worst thing is to make food into a battle because then you have to deal with it for much longer.
Hi Erin, You are definitely NOT alone. I have surviving triplets (two boys) that I had after 22 years of infertility treatments. Yes, 22 YEARS! Anyway, I had a lot of time to dream about how perfect it was going to be when I finally was able to keep a pregnancy going. And that dream did not include the day that one of the boys decided he wanted to leave the grocery store halfway through my shopping trip. So, with a cart half full of perishable food, he started screaming and flailing in the cart that we needed to leave the store NOW. What to do? I tried reasoning, being firm and everything in between. The one thing I was not going to do was to leave the store, thus teaching him that having a big tantrum is the way to get Mom to do what he wanted. It was horrible. I had store customers coming up to me and telling me I was the worst mother in the world and that I had to leave the store. I was being calm and acting like it was no big deal, but four years later, I still have not returned to that store. Anyway, I got a book that changed my relationship with this particular son. It was called How to Parent your Spirited Child. It was so awesome for us. Now I don’t know if you will get as much help from it as I did, but it really changed the way I interacted with this child and how he now reacts to me. We have NEVER had another meltdown, in public or in private. It is like a miracle how quickly saying a few quick words to him now can completely calm him down. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that ALL Moms experience this sort of thing in one degree or another and that you are NOT alone.
Nikki
My son is 19 months, so while I don’t think we’re in the full-fledged “terrible two’s” yet, we’re definitley on the verge and I’ve definitley dealt with public tantrums on numerous occasions. I really, really always try to keep my voice as calm as possible but I just get so flustered. Sweaty, nervous, etc … I know that doesn’t help the management of the situation as my son picks up on these emotions. I can feel strangers just staring at me and assume they are thinking that I’m an inexperienced mother and just simply don’t know how to handle such situations. That only makes me more nervous …
I always look back on these situations later and think of ways that I could have handled it better. But that is hindsight, and that is also how you learn. What unpleasant situation, really, does anyone ever handle perfectly?
I will say that when observing child tantrums/mother responses as an outsider, I am usually impressed by the mother’s ability to remain calm. So chances are that any outsiders in the situation probably thought you handled this tantrum like a pro 🙂
Oh, I can totally relate. The joys of parenting a toddler… Good thing they have those perfectly adorable moments that make you forget about all the embarrassing things they do 🙂
Bless your heart. I feel ya, Mama. So far, we’ve had 1 meltdown at a very small restaurant (took two trips to the bathroom) and 1 at my parent’s home (took several trips to the bedroom) at Thanksgiving with Amelia. I think the meltdown at my parents took me longer to get over than the one in public…it was bad. LOL You’re correct in staying calm…that’s key. And removing him from the situation was very smart. I don’t understand why they can’t just do what we say all the time? HA!
So you’re saying my three-year old isn’t the only one melting down at the worst possible moments? Thank you for being so honest here, Erin. About all kinds of things, but mostly about your struggles in becoming and staying true to who you are.
The other day Gavin wasn’t happy that I wasn’t letting him have gum right before we were going to eat and out of the blue he yelled “You’re stupid!” and I felt like such a failure and was so embarrassed. I thought, “Where has he even heard something like that? Did someone at daycare tell him he was stupid? Do people think I say that? A good parent’s child wouldn’t say something like that? Why did he say that? I never want to hear those words again!” and I quietly and calmly hauled him off for a time out, where people were probably thinking I was whispering to him that he is stupid. It is hard being a parent. It is really hard being a mom.
Thank you for sharing. They’ll grow out of this, right?
As the mom of a 2.5 year old, I am right there with you! While we haven’t had a huge public meltdown yet, we have had our fair share of small ones. And some meltdowns at home that make me feel like we both need to walk away :). There are days I am left wondering if I am doing it all right!? At the end of the day, they’re only 2.5 and still don’t know how to articulate their frustrations – this too shall pass.
Also, what about baby led weaning for Hayes.
i love you. you are such a great momma.
Oh man, we have had similar situations. Just last Friday, we were eating dinner at a restaurant and my 2-year old daughter had taken it upon herself to start yelling “No Sir!”, and “You no talk to me that way!” to us when she didn’t like us telling her to sit on her bottom. She has heard us use these words and it has come back to haunt us. Talk about leaving us speechless knowing what we say will come right back to us. Anyway, I found a nice little spot in the restaurant near the table and sat her in time-out. Twice. First I got looks for her statement, then I got looks for the discipline. I try not to let people judging me affect the way I discipline, so I acted just like I would at home. She yells mean words to us, she goes to time-out and then we discuss how mean words hurt mommy/daddy. I am learning that time-out in public is workable as it removes her from the situation and usually calms her down.
Hindsight is always 20/20 and I always think about how I can better handle the situation, especially if she has a temper-tantrum on the floor of a store. I hope that how I react helps teach her how to behave and stay calm when she is mad, but sometimes it is so hard to keep my composure when I just want to die in a hole or am fed-up!
Good luck and know you aren’t alone!
GIRL…you are preaching to the choir! Just yesterday morning, while wrestling with my 3 1/2 year old son to get dressed for school, I looked up and said to my husband – and I quote – “If I would have known the reality of kids, I’m not sure I would have had them.” To which he said, “I have to agree with you on that one!” This is NOT to say that we would ever trade any of our children for the world! We love them to the moon and back, however, the challenges seem to far outweigh the warm, fuzzy moments sometimes. We have 3 kids – an 11 year old son, a 9 nine year old daughter and then our 3 1/2 year old son. Let me just forewarn you that it doesn’t get any easier. Sorry! I hate to be “Debbie Downer”, but while the tantrums may fade, there are other challenges that take their place. Like, where to put them in school. Public vs. private. Tutors. After school activities. And by the time they hit middle school they start to have a social life. My 11 year old just attended his first school dance last month. What? How did I get here? Meanwhile we are still dealing with a preschooler who still doesn’t sleep through the night sometimes. I just pray. A lot. We will all get through this somehow. Good luck!
Oh, how I know that moment… you can see the meltdown happening, and by the end of it, both of you are sweating and crying and you just want to disappear! Don’t you love how humbling having babies is? It’s like suddenly you realize all those judgments you made pre-baby are thrown out the window because you now know that it happens to everyone! Just remember that it’s happened to all of us- you’re not alone! 🙂
Oh Erin! I can’t even imagine what I would do in the situation at the basketball game! I’m sure that someday I will learn and figure it out when I have kids, just as you are, but you’re right–parenting definitely isn’t the way you dream it up in your head. When you post about parenting difficulties though, reminds me to have more compassion for moms with crying children in the store, airport, etc. Someday I’ll be one of them! SCARY!
AAAAA!! Been there! If you figure out how to deal with it, please blog about it. I have a four year old that never threw tantrums, EVER, and a 2 year old that throws them multiple times a day. However, the 2 year old is much more independent and assertive than the 4 year old (both are boys). I keep telling myself that the tantrum throwing is an indicator of leadership traits and that these “problems” now will turn into strengths in the future. If only I can figure out how to point that in the direction of serving the Lord!!
Sorry you had a rough time. And I’m sure you were thinking, “THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!”
All I have to say is that the “terrible twos” are really just getting you ready to have a three year old!
I totally understand now, you never relize how much work it is to be a parent, or the worrys that you have now! Although my daughter is only three weeks old, when I used to go out and hear a baby crying, I would think to myself that my child will never act like that or do that… Lol guess what, she does. They have a mind of their own and we have to help to mold it into a little person… I know my day will come when she is throwing temper tantrums, You handle it so well though, I love reading your insight into parenting and I am sure It will help to refer back to it someday!!
oh the dreaded public tantrum . . . I just know God loves using my 3 year old to keep me humble 🙂 I love your post of your prayers for your boys and yourself too . . . I think that by praying for them and with them about their attitude and lovingly supporting your prayers with boundaries, you’re being the best momma ever 🙂
Girl!!!!!!! I am exactly where you are. It is such a hard place to be when your sweet two year old throws the tantrums of all tantrums. All you want to do is crawl under a rock and hide…. There is no set advice that cures tantrums..but there isn’t. If anyone knows them, please TELL ME or if you find out, please share! I wish on-lookers were more compassionate too rather than just stare or shake their head. I try to imagine what I would want as a response when I see a mother struggling with their toddler. It is so hard. Just know that you are not alone and I am going through the same thing. You handled it very well by taking him out of the situation, that was many seasoned moms have told me to do. They usually just need that time to breathe and calm down. I just think all we can do is bathe them with prayer and pray for ourselves that we continue to handle those tantrums with patience, love and wisdom. God bless and be encouraged again that you are not alone.
Even my 18 month old has been there. Parenting in public is never a fun situation. I am sure everyone was impressed by your ability to keep calm during little mans melt down.
My babe threw herself out of a shopping cart whilst tantruming. That definitely made a scene! You’re not alone.
On a side not, we had the most difficult time introducing solids to My little one until we discovered Baby Led Weaning. It was like magic for us and a ton less work than making baby purses. And now, she is an adventurous independent eater. You can find the book on amazon. Maybe it would help with sweet Hayes?
Good luck, momma!
I wrote a post on this recently, and am ALREADY struggling with this with Charlotte (almost 16 months). It’s one of those things, where BEFORE I was a parent I would see a situation like this and give my opinion on what the mother should have done to my girlfriend. Now–when I find myself IN that situation, all that observational-from-a-distance advice totally goes out the window. I don’t think any book, or class, or coach could help with toddler-dom. It’s one of those things, that as we know, is a season. We get through it (gracefully?) and look back and laugh. I give you much credit for staying calm. I think that is the hardest part!! xo
Oh goodness, I have no idea how I’d handle that tantrum. Good for you for staying calm!! And I hear ya with the ear infections. J has had them on and off since he was 3 months old. We even have tubes, yet he still currently has an insane infection that just won’t go away!! Hopefully the tantrums will hold off for a while 🙂
You are not alone! Just to let you know….most of those people that stare at you in public are privately thinking….oh, BLESS HER HEART!!! 🙂
I used to think, “Why don’t they control their child?” Now I usually say something along the lines of, “I totally understand.” Or I just offer a sympathetic smile. Parenting is tricky on an easy day, and sometimes, we are all at a loss as to what to do.
I’m not a parent, but I know that me and my siblings definitely did stuff like that, and somehow my parents and relatives manage to laugh about it these days. I’m sure you handled it well, and you will probably tell Hudson the story of his first basketball game in the future and laugh about it many times!
Oh.my.gosh. To say that reading this was perfect timing might be an understatement. I reached a serious level of frustration this morning when my 8 month old also refused to eat for what also seems like the 90th day in a row. He used to be such a good eater and now he just refuses. I keep telling myself that he’ll eat what he needs and not to worry, but dangit, it’s time to eat so EAT!
Ah…parenthood. So dang humbling!
My MIL says “If you want to be truly embarrassed, have children”. For Hayes’s disinterest in feeding, have you looked into baby-led weaning? No matter what though, these things are normal PHASES – this too shall pass (right about the time Hayes turns 2 🙂
So true… I was just saying today. It wasn’t like I thought it would be. Doctors, test, not sleeping, all that fun stuff. My daughter is eleven months old and still isn’t too interested in food. We let her feed herself though so I don’t stress about trying to make her eat. Some nights she just plays in it and that is ok. By the way my eleven month old is thirty two pounds so I feel you on carrying that amount of weight around.
I can’t thank you enough for writing this post because I am struggling to find patience right now with my almost 3 year old and 17 month old. I feel like some days get the best of me and I try so hard to stay calm and it gets harder and harder, but knowing that I’m not alone in feeling this way will hopefully make things easier. Thank you!!
girl, i feel your pain! libbi is THE QUEEN of public tantrums and naughtiness. it’s like she KNOWS that my discipline options are limited in public so she pulls out all the stops. whew!
she’s definitely made me more aware though and it has taught me to be much more sympathetic of others and really try not to judge. before we were in this lovely stage, i would so often think “ugh! why can’t that mother get control of her child?!” and now i know. it’s just not that simple. my mom even took it a step further and reminded me that it doesn’t just apply to toddlers. my younger sister has some disabilities and special needs and would often pitch tantrums in public. bless my mom’s heart, i’m sure it is much harder to feel strangers eyes looking at you when it’s your 8 year old having a melt-down as opposed to your 2 year old. there’s not enough time in the day to stop and explain that she just can’t help it.
anyway, all that to say…motherhood is humbling, isn’t it?! 🙂 hang in there…and keep sharing – it helps us feel normal!
oh, and i have no advice (solicited or unsolicited) for hayes. laney will eat jarred carrots, grean beans, and sweet potatoes. and that’s it. nothing else. and the child has almost 8 teeth! oh well, she’ll eat when she’s hungry, right? 🙂
I feel like I just read a story about bays…. I just pray a lot!!!!!! She has such a strong personality!!! My wild angel will have many “off”” times in her life….. I will pray and just do my best! For some reason this is never done with her daddy…..huh?
Oh have I been here too. My brother in law likes to say “they are not staring and judging you because of your screaming child, they just realize how cute he is and can’t turn away.”. It always makes me laugh. I think when you dream about being a mom, you put yourself unknowingly on a pedastool of how amazing and different you will handle things when you witness people parenting in public. Being on the other side is so humbling and has led me to say to anyone I know that they should do what is right for them and helps them to survive.
Erin,
I am so glad you post so many real senarios of life! I recently had an encounter with my now 3 year old son. We made it almost through the “terrible twos” without any major tantrums in public. Then one day shortly after he turned three I took him to the Children’s Museum with my 2 month old daughter and my father-in-law. My son wanted to ride the carousel, which sounded like fun. So we rode. When it was finished and time to get off he decided he wanted to ride again and refused to budge. He was screaming so loudly that everyone on the floor was staring at me to see what I would do. Once I got his death grip released from the pony I carried him kicking and screaming to a bench. I sat him down on my lap to try to calm him down. At this point I can still feel everyone still staring to see what my next step would be. At that very moment my son slapped me across the face. He has never done such a thing to me or ever hit anyone. I could not believe it!!! I immediately stood up and carried him out. I never imagined I would ever have to deal with something like that. I’m so thankful that my father in law was there to help with my two month old. At that point I reevaluated if I’m ready to handle both children out in public by myself. I’m not sure how so many moms do it with two, three, or even more kids all by themselves. Thank you so much for sharing your story and reminding me that everyone has their battles.
Angie
I am 47 so I am a great deal older than you young ladies, with that being said..You need to take your children to public places early newborn on..let them experience, sights, sounds, noise..life! When I see a child having a tantrum I feel so sad for the mom and for the child. I think you need to stop trying to reason with a toddler, there is NO reasoning, they are willful, but they should understand the word NO by now. He probably just wanted his way and didn’t like what you had to say, this won’t be the last time..wait to you get to middle school and you tell your adorable 6th grader she WILL NOT be attending a party until 11pm!! LOL! keep exposing him and he will get the idea !
I swear I could have written most of this post myself! We are dealing with the same type of tantrums with our very loving and strong-willed 2 1/2 year old daughter! I have a 4 month old who I look at all the time and think, “There is no way you will ever act like that.” And, I swear she is telling me she won’t! But, alas, I know she will because it is just a TYPICAL behavior. We are reading {and listening to} Parenting with Love and Logic and it is helping us know that what we are doing is right. {I’m also thinking about doing the Moms on Call for additional advice}. Sounds to me like you did everything you could – it’s just so hard when you are RIGHT in the moment! Thanks for keeping it real and sharing your experience with us.
We are still having eating struggles with our 19 month old little girl. She had a very hard transistion to table food and I never figured out why! When she was little, she turned any type of food away until I started to add some spice to it (garlic to green beans, nutmeg to carrots, cinnamon to cereal and apples).
And as far as tantrums…I’m afraid that they don’t go away anytime soon. My 5 year old boy just had one last weekend at the grocery store 🙁 and I think like you do – that people are watching me to see how I handle the situation, judging my “motherhood skills.”
Hope it gets better for you!
My 3 year old had a similar tantrum when we went to Ice! this EXPENSIVE holiday display thing-a-ma-jig in our area that we went to with my parents. It was awful and we didn’t even get to see the display, unless you count carrying a screaming three year old through it in 2 minutes. I told my mom that I hate those situations because I feel like my son is a terrorist and I am his hostage because there is NOTHING I CAN DO. He was out-of-control upset and behaving like one of those bratty children that, before I had kids, I would see and swear that I would never tolerate my child behaving in such a way (HA!). There was no place I could put him to reprimand his unacceptable behavior, and selfishly I was mad and dissapointed that our trip to this display was ruined because I had built it up in my mind that it was going to be a really fun holiday experience with the family and it…WASN’T. NOT AT ALL. So all that to say, I FEEL YOUR PAIN SISTAH!
The worst tantrums my girls have/had always occur/occured in TJ Maxx or places like that. After too much time searching for those perfect finds, I was not about to put the items back and walk out! My girls are still not ones to sit quietly in a buggy and play/eat while I shop! Now….. If I could just grocery shop online!!!! One time, a sales associate came and pulled me out of line and opened a register just because my daughter was screaming so loudly! Humiliation!!!! As I am typing this, my 2 yr old is sticking her finger in her juice box from Chic Fil A so she can pour it on herself faster! Have mercy!!!!
Please let me know when you figure out the secret! Fenn is just starting this stage, but I can tell this is gonna be a LONG HARD road. He has quite a temper and can go 20 minutes no problem! I don’t know if I should discipline him ( I feel like I should because he tries to hit me, pull my hair etc) but nothing I do will calm him, and when I try to ignore and walk away he runs after me and HURLS himself at me ( he weighs 33lbs) CRazyness! Whew! and if it happens in public i just begin sweating profusely! Glad to see Im not alone!