A few weeks ago, I was talking to a new girl I’d met. She also has a 2.5 year old little boy, so we were swapping stories. Then I mentioned that we also had a 7 month old named Hayes.
She said, “Oh my gosh! You have two? How do you do it?”
(Now, I know many of you reading have two kids. Some of you may have three or four kids or even five kids. So I’m sure you’ve all gotten this question before.)
And I responded and said, “You just do it.”
There’s no magic answer. I am not special. I just live hour to hour. Especially in the beginning.
I was terrified of my mom leaving and being home alone with two kids under 2. How would I survive? But you just do. You do what has to be done and then you move on to the next thing that has to be done.
Somedays, depending on what happens, there’s not a lot of time for anything else other than playing with them, feeding them, changing them and making sure their needs are met.
It’s a completely different world than the one I was in just three years ago. I can count on one hand the parts of my life that are the same as three years ago. A lot of that has to do with the fact that I stay home with them.
I stay home with them, so I don’t have many responsibilities outside of the house. My job every day is to take care of them. It’s a very big responsibility, but it’s not at all glamorous or a cake walk.
Now that Hayes is older and Hudson has become really independent, I don’t have to live hour to hour anymore. We have our days scheduled out. But it can still be overwhelming. Hudson gets upset when I have to give Hayes a bottle. Hayes is wanting to do more than he can, so he needs my help a lot– usually when I’m trying to help Hudson with something.
But you just do it.
Yesterday was a horrible day. Everyone was sick. I didn’t go back into my bedroom after I rushed out of bed to get a coughing Hudson first thing yesterday morning. I was in the clothes I slept in all day and Hudson never napped. My hair was a wreck and I may or may not have gotten an opportunity to brush my teeth. But they needed me. It is possible to get everything done with more than one baby. It’s not at all easy and the responsibility is huge.
When you’re in the moment and the kids you’re caring for are your kids, it’s not scary. I’m not being graded or observed. I’m just loving them and doing everything I know how to do to teach them and mold them into the kind of people I want them to be.
It’s not pretty. It’s messy. It’s hectic. I’m not always nice. I even miss the care-free days. But I wouldn’t trade what we have now for anything.
I don’t always know what I’m doing. I wish I could add more hours to the day to help get things done, but I can’t. So I just do what I can.
Two-year olds are challenging little humans. Seven month olds are in such a great place where they’re just ready to learn and develop. But they both need me, so I just do what I can do.
Tomorrow I’ll be 10 weeks pregnant with our second. . .our first will be 19 months when this one is born. We will move and my husband will start his medical residency the month before I give birth (no, this one was not planned. Ha!). It’s going to be a crazy year, but this is totally what I’m counting on! Just doing what needs to be done, and taking care of my babies the best I can. They are such blessings and I can’t imagine doing anything else. There are so many people who would give their left arm to have the opportunity to be this busy with babies, that I will never complain. God surprised with us babies, so I’m confident that he’ll surprise me with the energy and ability to at least squeak by =) Hope your sweet family gets better soon. . .
I love how honest this post is. You really are such an incredible mommy. It amazes me that you have time to cook, clean, take care of 2 kids, blog, and so much more. Even through all the craziness, you put your boys first, and that is admirable. I hope Hayes feels better in time for Christmas! xo
I completely understand what you’re saying! I have three under the age of two (or at least I used to…now my oldest is 29 months and my twins are 5 months). People constantly stop me and say, “How do you do it?!?” and I say, “You just do!” I love your blog!
I relate so much to this, even though I only have one. Some days my husband is home before the dishes are out of the sink, and I haven’t had time for a shower. I was petrified the first few days that I was home alone with Noah. I was petrified the first time I had to leave the house without an extra set of hands. But, as you point out, you just do it.
I loved this post!
I have two little ones that are fifteen months apart. Thanks for putting my life into words! Crazy but fun!
So, so true! Happy Holidays to you!
I love the honesty! Thanks!
I have 2 under the age of 2 and you’re post spells out EXACTLY how I feel! It’s not always pretty and it’s not always even fun but when all is said and done I wouldn’t trade my life with my 2 girls for anything!
And so many times at the end of the day, you look back and wonder what you did all day? I remember my non-parent friends asking what I did all day, thinking it was all stroller rides and roses, and when I’d go to try to list the things, I would just stop and say, “stuff”. You just can’t comprehend until you have children of your own. You’re right, we just do it.
such a great post! You are a wonderful momma, hope everyone feels better soon!!!!!!!!!!
We have two as well (one will be 3 on 12/31 and the other is 8 months on 12/25) everybody used to tell me that things just always work out….and I used to say, yea right, says the lady whose kids are grown and out of the house, but it’s true..EVERYTHING always works out! Happy Holidays to you and your family!
YES! I completely understand this post. I have had those days where I have been in my pajamas all day, have not showered, and I am running non-stop taking care of my kids. I have opened the door to the UPS man and he stares at me with raised eyebrows. ;)I wouldn’t trade it at all. Having switched from working mom to stay at home mom, I am so grateful I get this opportunity to be with my boys. I’m grateful for all moments even my worst ones. I know people always ask me do you regret having them so close and I say no. It’s challenging but oh so worth it. Keep up the great work! I’m praying everyone feels better soon.:)
This makes me happy, we have a 14m and our second baby is due in May. Having 2 babies under two scares the pants off me. I have made it this far just doing what I have to, so I’m sure it will be the same with two. It’s nice to hear it from someone else!
Love the positive outlook you have on the craziness of kids. I have one (3 months) right now and often find myself wondering how I’d ever handle 2. It’s nice to hear that it all works itself out, and I’m sure the chaos is made up for in all the love… At least I know it is with the one sweet girl I have right now 🙂
Love this…so true…this is the only question I get….while they look at me like I am crazy for having a 4 year old, two 2 year olds and a 1 year old…and when they ask, I say the same…You just do it…it isn’t always pretty…but it is filled with love, exhaustion and the knowledge that you wouldn’t have it any other way 🙂 Glad to know that I am not the only one that ends up STILL in my jammies at the end of the day 🙂
I love this post! My two girls are the exact same age as your two, and at the end of every day I find myself saying, ‘what did we DO today??’. I worked up until I had my second, and always thought my stay-at-home friends had it made. I would think how nice it would be to go shopping with your kids, take them to the park every day, etc. I wondered why it seemed they never took those oppertunities, and would tell my husband that they just didn’t seem to do enough with their kids since it seemed they never left the house with them! How judgemental is that?! And now, I get it. Because I am that mom that rarely leaves the house LOL. Yesterday, I took the girls to Wal-Mart to grab a few things, and realized it’s probably the first time I have taken them both to a store by myself. I felt ashamed that I hardly ever get them out by myself to do things. But you know, it’s just not always possible. When my husband is home we go out and do lots of things, so I guess that makes up for it lol. Staying at home is a LOT harder than I imagined. But I wouldn’t change a thing. One day it will be easier to get them out. They will both be older, and schedules won’t be as important. And then I know I’ll look back and miss the days when it was “so hard.”
How do you do it though? Not the raising your kids thing but the keeping so calm thing. I don’t have any ids yet but I anticipate in the next five years or so, they will be here. And I know for a fact that I won’t be nearly as calm and collected as you are. Nicely put Erin. You’re like the real life super mom that still struggles but manages to find the good in all of it.
WOW, i completely relate to this post. People ask me all the time how I do it, I have a 6 1/2, 23 month and 8 month old. And I have no idea, I just do it! Lately my hubby has taken a job in the evenings, so night time routine and all day is all me. But it hasn’t been that bad. I miss adult interaction but we survive. It’s just a season!
Ha! I’m the girl asking you the question!! Because right now, i don’t know how I would do it!! But truly, like any mom (with 1, 2, 5, 19!), I know I would figure it out. With my 18 month old, each season brings new changes and challenges as well as new blessings. It seems as every time I’m at my limit, God opens up my capabilities even more.
There are times at night when my husband has my daughter in the bath, and I’ve got a sink full of dishes, cloth diapers to launder, dogs to feed and breakfast and lunches to prepare for the next morning and I think, “I can’t do it!” But then I convince myself to just tackle one thing at a time, until it’s all done. Just.keep.moving.
I think as mother’s we learn to handle life as it comes, one moment at a time.
I ask myself how I would do it with two kids all. the. time. I get overwhelmed just thinking about it, which is why I know it’s not time to have a second (even if I sometimes get baby fever!).
And I think it’s important to point out that, while every baby is different, moms know so much more about childcare the second time around. When I had Owen I didn’t even know how to change a diaper. Knowing how to do the little things make a big difference, I’m sure.
Often I ask myself how I’m going to do it if we have another little one. I feel like I’m running around half the time trying to keep up and we’ve just got one! I think we all just figure out our own way of “doing it”. I hope I figure mine out soon 🙂
So true, Erin. So true. As if we have any other choice than to just handle it as best we can, lol!
What a real, honest post! I’m a working mom of a 10-month old, and I can’t imagine what I’d do with two kids or how I’d stay sane staying home! I often envy stay at home moms, but I really do think it has to be the hardest thing in the world! Hardest and best rolled in to one. And its so true. My how things have changed since before kids!
Reading this makes me feel less overwhelmed. I only have one child so far, but my husband and I are hoping to grow our family soon! Thanks for the honesty!
what a wonderful & honest post 🙂
So true. I only have one and I am staying at one but I look back at my pre baby life and laugh. I remember thinking how busy I was and had too much to do. Ha ha, I didn’t even know what busy was.
I’m so super impressed that you are handling this and living to tell about it. I really am. I know that sometimes it’s messy and sometimes it’s hard, but you’re doing an absolutely amazing job!
The reality of this post is that it’s SO TRUE! And that it applies to moms at every stage of motherhood. How does a mom who just had a baby deal with sleepless nights? You just do. How does a mom with multiple children clamoring around her feet all day long deal with it? You just do. How does a mom with teenage daughters handle the drama? She just does. How does a mom who is fighting for her child’s life as they lay in a hospital bed deal with the cards she’s been dealt? She just does. It’s not always graceful. It’s not always pretty. It’s certainly not always fun. But, at the end of the day, it’s always 150% worth every bit of it.
As always, such a great post.
So true… I need to be reminded of this sometimes, too… especially on those days when I may or may not get my teeth brushed either!
I can definitely relate to this!!!! I still think to myself…HOW do I take care of TWO infants at the SAME time!?! It’s tough at times, but it’s wonderful, too! You are doing a great job and I know you are soaking it all in!
I have a friend who just had her second baby. I don’t know how anyone does it with one, let alone two! 🙂 Moms are superwomen! 😉 Rock on, lady!
I don’t think I’ve ever commented on your blog, but I really needed to read this post today! I have a 7mo old and I’m 15wks pregnant with our second… Crazy right? They will be exactly a year apart and our nephew who is one year old is visiting for Christmas and I basically had a meltdown earlier this evening asking my husband, “HOW are we going to do this?!” I was having panic attacks watching the one-year old run amuck and having to always keep an eye on him and thinking, “I’m going to have that… Plus a newborn! My husband basically said the same thing and was like, “We can do it… We just will because we have to.” Reading this post gives me even more hope that there will be good days among the bad ones, haha… Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Great timing on this post as this has been on my mind alot lately. I can not imagine how it will be with 2 as I am really struggling keeping up with a Toddler right now while trying to get ANYTHING done! ha
thanks for this! my first is almost 1 year, and the thought of having another baby both thrills and terrifies me.