So I don’t typically like to blog about blogging. I mean, I’ve done it a few times prior to this, but I think this post will come full circle and it will make sense why I wanted to write this.
Blogs are such a fun little gift! We have insight into a person’s life. We get to share and benefit from someone’s creativity. We get to read about people with similar experiences and struggles. We get to find people that share the same interests, hobbies, taste in clothes and football teams! And, in our own blogs, we get to have an outlet to release whatever is on our mind that day. It’s such a fun little world.
Lately, I’ve noticed that the criticism of bloggers has increased significantly. Sometimes, other bloggers are the ones doing the criticizing, and other times it’s non-bloggers that are critical.
But no matter who’s doing the criticizing, this is what I want to say. We have to always remember that blogging is just a glimpse. Some days I blog about my thoughts. Some days I blog about my fears. Some days I blog about a recipe. Some days I blog about what we did on the previous day. It’s a hodge podge. It’s my blog and I get to decide what goes on it.
There are bloggers who take one little thought or event and can turn it into the deepest post or most hilarious post. There are bloggers who blog about every thing they do on a daily basis as a way to record memories. There are bloggers who don’t blog about anything personal and keep their blog strictly to have a creative outlet and share ideas. There are bloggers who are strictly fashion bloggers.
For me, personally, I think I blog about a little bit of everything. I just blog about whatever I choose to share that day.
If I don’t blog about my husband very often that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a wonderful relationship with him. Maybe he just doesn’t want to be mentioned on the blog.
If I don’t write about the ways we give to charitable organizations and to our church, it doesn’t mean it’s not happening. If I choose not to mention an argument that I had with a loved one, it doesn’t mean that I’m perfect or not normal. I just don’t want to put every single detail of my life on my blog.
And I think a lot of bloggers feel that same way.
A fashion blogger has more to her life than just fashion. Her blog is just about fashion. Food bloggers have more going on in their lives than just food.
Making the choice to keep some information private doesn’t mean the blogger isn’t “real” or authentic. And sharing a lot doesn’t mean that the blogger has shared everything. There will always be things about the blogger that the reader doesn’t know.
It’s so important to remember that just because someone doesn’t blog about something, it doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
Because I am a blogger, I like to give other bloggers the benefit of the doubt. If I read something I don’t like, I don’t automatically jump to the conclusion that I wouldn’t like that blogger in real life. It is a fact that if I like someone’s blog, I like her even more in person!
I wrote this just as a reminder to myself and my readers that blogging is a glimpse. We don’t see everything. We miss a lot of the good and a lot of the bad. But, as I’ve said before, bloggers do have a right to privacy. Fortunately, we get to set up our own privacy settings on our own blogs. We choose what we share and what we don’t share.
The best part is that we have the opportunity to share our voice, no matter the subject and no matter how many people are reading, our voice is out there!
Thanks for the reminder, Erin! You’re so right on with this post. You always have such a nice way of putting your thoughts into words.
I have also noticed that people have been leaving mean or rude comments on some of the blogs I read. I hope people will respect each other and realize that blogging is a form of self expression, not everyone has to agree with said expression but we should all respect it.
I could not agree more with this post! I just think some people out there do not get it. You are the writer and you should be the one to decide what is put in your blog. It’s up to you to take the direction of your blog in the way that you choose.
Well said.
I agree…wholeheartedly!
Great post! I don’t know you personally, but I do enjoy your blog and the glimpses of your life that you choose to share each day!
Love the blog. Keep up the good work! I am pretty sure people can just stop reading when they no longer enjoy the blog…..really there is no need to get nasty on their part.
As someone who is new to blogging, I appreciate the tips and I agree with you that blogging is only a glimpse into someone’s life and we all need to respect that.
This makes so much sense. I put a lot on my blog, but people have to remember to take what I write with a grain of salt. A lot of my writing is meant to be funny (not sure if it actually is but it’s meant to be). Sometimes when God is showing me something, I share it. But I don’t always put all the intricate details. I think your blog is real (you don’t come across as fake or trying to put on a show), and I enjoy reading it. As for the criticism, people are just mean.
People are way too critical of EVERYTHING these days!!! Have you noticed that? Such a cynical world we live in today, but blogs like yours are a refreshing change of pace. You just seem like a really nice person who loves her family, her church and her friends. Who can criticize THAT???
And I for one think you DO seem normal on your blog. (Well, except that your house always appears spotless. Can’t you post a picture of a mess just ONCE? ha ha!)
I think you hang in the wrong circle of blogging, or you have CRAZY readers…I have been blogging for over 4 years, and never had any drama. Not that there isn’t drama out there, I’ve seen it, but seriously…I don’t know why anyone would send you nastiness? I don’t quite get it. People need to get a life.
I for one love your blog, and totally agree with previous comments that you and your family seem absolutely lovely and wonderful! I could not agree with your post more!
I have only been following you for a few months now and I have to say this is the second or third time I have noticed you have to put this message out there. What an absolute shame that you have to remind these critics to think before they write. Are these critics not getting it? If they don’t have something remarkable to say or positive, they need to find a new blog to follow. I love what you write and I can identify with you. In addition, I don’t follow blogs I disagree with and it’s strange to me people like to follow blogs they find do not align with their own lifestyle. I agree with Julie’s post as well.
You are completely right, Erin. And as you know, I adore you both online and in the friendship we’ve developed in real life.
But as per usual, I’m playing the devil’s advocate: I do think bloggers – particularly in this mommy blog set – tend to forget that it’s pretty typical of people to judge based on what a blogger puts online. It’s just human nature, you know? I don’t feel like you can put your life online and not expect people to be critical. By putting it all (or some of it, or pieces) out there, you open yourself up to more scrutiny than if you and I were just sitting across from each other at dinner. That’s not to say I think people ought to take the time to be so dang hateful, and I do think people ought to just go elsewhere if they feel the need to be an ass, but what can you do. (Or perhaps they just need some other internet friends with whom they can be snarky, and then move along with their days. HA!) Just a thought!
Oh, Erin, you are one smart girl. Keep doing what you are doing. So many people enjoy getting a glimpse into your life and reading your daily insights. I don’t know why some people have to put a negative spin on what they read or see on positive women’s blogs! It is all in good fun. Of course, we all know nobody’s lives are perfect and stress-free, but why in the world would anyone consistently blog about the bad stuff? You are a great, positive, inspiring person. Keep it up! Don’t let the downers bring you down!
Amen. I’ve not been able to find the words to explain this…but you did it very well!!! I completely agree!
I just don’t understand the negative people. Who has time to leave nasty comments? My opinon is that those people are just miserable for one reason or another and just try to find ways to knock others down. Don’t let it get to you! So many people love your blog and appreciate the glimpse you give us of your life.
Nice, necessary reminder!
This is so true, and you’ve mentioned it quite a bit recently. I hope the debbie-downers start leaving you alone. I only recently started blogging so I haven’t had any negativity or drama (yet, or ever hopefully) since it’s almost all friends and family reading. But I do agree that it’s just a glimpse, a teenty tiny portion of what is going on in life that we feel comfortable and willing to put out on the internet. I tend to share what’s on my mind, or what I want to remember most, or what I think people would care enough to read about. If people don’t like it, I would hope that they just go somewhere else rather than try to bring me down – and I certainly hope they do the same for you!
My Mom always used to say “They are just jealous.” when someone was being critical. I thought that was such an elementary way to think about it, but now that I am getting older, I tend to agree with her. Maybe it is just that “elementary”, and at the very least, it makes you feel better.
The truth is, Erin, you do have a lot for someone to be envious of–you have a cute house, a darling husband, two great boys, you don’t have to work. Some people just can’t handle the blessings of others, and that’s what I think you are running into. I personally subscribe to Maya Angelou’s philosophy of “celebrating the excellence of others”. When someone is blessed, it’s a reminder that it’s possible! When someone makes a billion dollars, or loses 100 pounds, or wins the Nobel Prize–it should be a reminder that excellence is possible for everyone.
Just remind yourself, when someone says something nasty–they don’t even know you. Pay no attention to it. They are just jealous. 😉
It’s funny because I often feel as though I “have” to write some “harder” stuff once in awhile just to maintain that real status. But it’s totally not necessary and I really shouldn’t care what others think. I know that for me, however, it is nice to get to know people on a deeper level and that’s why I often choose to write the things I do. Love blogging – for me.
Thanks for the thoughts!
A to the men, lady. My blog is a glimpse. Yes, I share a lot. But I also don’t share a lot. It’s my right, my blog. And I remember that about blogs I read, too!
Well said!
I love your blog. I definitely choose to keep about 99% of my personal life off of my own blog… so mine is really a very small glimpse. I think that too often people jump to conclusion about others and cast judgement… online and in person. It is unfortunate, but those snarky people are always in the world. I just choose to not surround myself with those kind of people. Your blog is precious, and I admire you for sharing as much as you do!
Beautifully said!
Amen!
I feel sorry for people that “judge” others by just seeing a small window into their life either in person or on a blog….. it is always their loss bc that person could be an amazing person!
Okay, here I get to be the unpopular opinion, but I have to RESPECTFULLY disagree with a few of the things in this post. I just left my weekly mom’s Bible study and we were talking about the pressures that moms put on each other, so that’s part of where my perspective is coming from. As a Christian, I feel very strongly that it’s my job to build others up and strive to not tear them down. I think that blogging is an area where many Christian ladies have been given the opportunity to build up many women, but at the same time they’re given the opportunity to tear down. While I don’t think that in order to be real and authentic you need to share every detail of your life, I do think that by only posting sunshine and rainbows it gives other moms a sense of failure. I much more appreciate blogs where a mom says that they are stressed that day, or they snapped and were too harsh with their toddler etc.
Also, because I know you share my Christian faith, I think that it’s important that bloggers remember our faith needs to be portrayed on our blog as well. As a Christian the Lord should be the center of your life, and while I’m certainly not saying that every blog post should be spiritual, I do think that you’ve been given the unique opportunity to share God with many, many people. I also feel like a big part of that faith is the giving to those less fortunate, so it’s sometimes a hard pill for me to swallow when fellow Christian bloggers post all the time about the luxuries in their life, but never post about the giving they do.
The last thing that I question sometimes, about myself included, is how you talked about a blogger choosing not to write about their spouse out of respect for their spouse. I have seen MANY mom bloggers say that, but it’s crazy to me because they blog personal details about their children all of the time. Their children can’t ask them to not blog about them. I do this myself, so I am definitely not pointing fingers…
I hope that this comes across with the utmost amount of respect. I just felt the need to point out a few areas where I disagree with the post. I do feel like it’s so, so easy to judge people based on the small picture of their life we see- in real life and on blogs. Life would be so much easier if everyone could remember that our value is found in Christ’s opinion of us, not in the opinion of man.
I think it’s so easy for some people to sit behind a computer screen and dole out their critiques and criticism because there really isn’t immediate and human response. People can just put nasty things out there and don’t have to look in the person’s face when they read it. I doubt any of these types of people would have the guts to say the same mean things to a person’s face. I think you’re doing a fabulous job and I have never seen anything on here that I would EVER feel the need to criticize!! You, your husband, your children and your life seem beautiful…but yet still crazy busy as the rest of ours!
YAY! Good for all of us to read. Too bad you can’t block negative folks from reading…
Totally agree with everything you said! xo
Even though I’m new to blogging, I completely agree with this. I don’t think anyone has the right to criticize someone else based on the limited information provided on a blog. A couple of the blogs that I read have discussed having random people writing negative comments on their blogs, something that I don’t really understand. If you don’t agree with what someone writes, either give them the benefit of the doubt, or don’t read their blog!
Well said, Erin!
I really enjoyed reading this. Blogging is our own little slice of the internet where we can write whatever we want. I personally blog so I can have memories of my babies – do I write about the tough stuff? Sometimes, but just like a scrapbook, I want to be able to relive the happy memories.
I enjoy reading your blog!
I’ve thought about this a lot lately actually. I do boy blog, but read a lot of blogs. I have no idea what kind of criticism you and other bloggers get (I rarely read comments), but here’s my two cents as a reader of logs. This is not aimed specifically at your blog, but blogs in general. I think the issue with people criticizing that blogs are not authentic is legitimate. I am coming at this from the financial sense. Blogs are now highly monetized. Whether a blogger makes a lot or a little, the fact remains that the potential for making a lot of money exists. Many moms are starting too see real potential in helping to support their families by blogging. This is great, and bad. Some bloggers ( yes good wholesome Christian mommy bloggers) frankly don’t have a lot to say except buy this, try this, link up to this, enter this( click, click, click). It feels way more Madison Avenue than Main Street and readers are savvy to this. So anyway, I think readers see the very nice lifestyles of many mommy bloggers(which in most cases has nothing to do with blogging), plus the blogging money/freebies and for many the envy follows and I’m guessing that is where the snakiness comes
from. Personally, I love to read blogs where you know the author has nothing or very little at stake financially. That feels more authentic to me. But I do read lots of blogs, like yours, which are monetized and I enjoy them too. I know your life isn’t perfect, whose is? It’s totally your prerogative to show what you want. I would never expect more. But I also know that some of what you post is based on a monetary agreement with the sponsor and that’s how it is. I don’t make buying decisions based upon what I see on blogs. That’s just me.
One final thought to make an already too long comment longer is a quote I read long ago on another blog. I don’t remember to whom she attributed it to, but she said, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. So true and east to forget.
I’ve been following your blog for a few months and I love it! I’m in agreement with Julie. Some folk need to get a life and respect yours. You’re one of the most sincere bloggers that I must drop in on because I laugh, smile, shake my head in agreement and just simply enjoy. Keep on keeping on girl.
You’re giving me the courage to start my own blog. Why? Because you’re real, a Blue-Eyed Bride, now mother, inspiring a Brown-Eyed, Chocolate Bride, now mama to go for it!
I agree with jcristg’s playing of devil’s advocate and most of what Kodi wrote, I could have written also. However, I am choosing not to add a really long comment about my additional feelings about this because I’m not confident that what I have to say will truly change your mind or get you to clearly see a different perspective. Additionally, I recently took time to compose a very respectful comment & email to one of your “friend” bloggers that just did a post about this and never heard a word back (of course you can’t write EVERYONE back – I understand this) although she welcomed respectful disagreement types of comments. That makes me never want to waste even 10 minutes of my time writing something thoughtful.
It all comes down to the fact that this IS your blog, you are right. But, what you post here you write as the truth (I suppose it is to you), not an opinion. And I sure hope that your thousands of followers have the sense to see ALL of the different sides of this story. What you write here is a glimpse, but often times I wonder how well this “glimpse” matches up with the core values of the real person behind the blog. That is what scares ME about the blog world.
In any event, there should be no tolerance for rude and nasty criticisms – in real life or in the blog world. However, healthy discussion about a controversial topic is part of life and can be such a good thing, in my opinion.
Amen! Totally agree with this. I finding that figuring how much, what and when to share is one of the hardest parts about blogging for me.
I agree. To add to it all,
(I won’t tear down any one who has commented with something I disagree with)
I think you’re pretty real and just because one person agrees/believes in something doesn’t mean anyone else does. I will admit sometimes I get jealous of some glimpses in your life & other blogs and I disagree sometimes, too, BUT its not your intentions nor responsibility to “censor or fluff” your posts. Why people think its necessary to push their opinion on others or explain why others are so wrong is NUTS. The worst is others expectations, such as if you’re this you should be doing this, etc…. um, who died and made them king? Its sad because by no means are these people experts in whatever they are commenting on. Disagree as much as you want but no need to offend others or push your opinions on others. Its said because all it shows is negativity and proof that they are closed minded.
Man…I can totally see both sides of this story. I actually read most of the comments on this post, and I totally get it. I understand, as a blogger, that I’m posting a glimpse into my life. I understand that I don’t share everything with the whole world…even though I do share a lot, and even though one of the main goals of my blog is to be completely honest so that others know they’re not alone…. it’s still not EVERYTHING. I don’t write about arguments that I have with my mother, because she reads my blog! I don’t write about my husband negatively, ever…but that’s because I believe in always speaking good of him in public…blog or no blog. But, on the other hand… people who read my blog know that they can expect honesty…because that’s what I’ve told them they’re going to find…and so they deserve to read it. Just like I would expect to see the latest trends or info about a hot sale on a fashion blog.
I think you’re right on the money with this blog. I love that you switch the topics up. I love that sometimes you’re talking about chores, and sometimes you’re talking about Junior League, which, by the way, I never knew existed until this blog and watching the movie The Help. Thanks for this “glimpse” into your life.
Amen! Preach it sister!
So true! Just because we choose to blog, it doesn’t mean that we must share every aspect of our life. I started my blog over 5 years ago to keep family informed while I was overseas for a month. I still have a lot of family that reads and now other people; some that I know, but many that I don’t. I blog about so many different things, but mainly whatever I’m interested in. There are certain things I don’t mention because I do believe I need some level of privacy on aspects of my life. The best thing about blogging is the friends that I’ve made. That makes it all worth it!
So perfectly said, Erin. I don’t have my own blog, but you’re right about how important it is to remember that blogging is (as you said) “just a glimpse” into a small part of someone’s life. I enjoy the wide variety of things you share with your readers – everything from your volunteer activities to your adorable boys to the fact your house is sometimes a mess. You are SO real and SO believable, and that’s why people love your blog! So ignore (and delete) the negative posts that some people leave. Share what you want . . . and keep the rest private. It’s your blog and completely up to you. 🙂
I love everything you said here. I think if you are a blogger, you totally get it. I have written things and then seen on other blogs how they think people are fake when they share mostly happy things. Well, blogging is my happy corner in the world. There is too much ugliness elsewhere, so this is where I come to smile, and to get inspiration. I also don’t share about my husband and his work, etc a lot because a lot of people that he works with read my blog. I feel like some things should not be shared with the world. I agree with your post 100%, and I don’t usually jump on the bandwagon. I also understand that some people don’t like certain things on certain blogs, then they should just not read those blogs. Kind of like if you don’t like a tv show, you have the freedom to not turn it on. I also have seen a lot lately about using our blogs for God’s glory. Well, I am a Christian and love the Lord with all my heart, but I don’t have to blog about the bible every single day. I think our light shines through just by the way we live. Great post and I just adore your blog. We are different people, yet many of your writings reflect how I feel! xoxo.
i actually wake up thinking about shopping and shop all day long and do nothing else and i really don’t have a life besides shopping … LOL *sarcasm* !!!!
I love that you said we should give others the benefit of the doubt. So true. I use that in my marriage and strive to do it in my other relationships. It’s so easy NOT do that when you don’t know someone personally. Great post. Love you and your blog! 🙂
I feel ya. I think its the people who are too cowardly to actually blog themselves who want to be critical of those of us who DO put ourselves out there.
I for one have had VICIOUS comments left for me on my blog, and I don’t get it; I cannot imagine EVER going to someone’s blog and spewing hate like that.
Not sure if that’s what’s happening to you, but it does stink. Sadly, people are just mean. 😛
It doesn’t matter how much you reveal or don’t reveal, you’re probably still going to get criticism. The thing that surprises me is that bloggers complain about comments that are mean, nasty or don’t agree with them. If you have a blog with a big following you’re a celebrity of sorts and are therefore open to receiving some criticism. Share what you want, enjoy the positive feedback you get and ignore the rest.
Very well written! I don’t have a blog, but I have contemplated it for a while and have really wrestled with how much personal information to put out there and if I am brave enough to do a more personal blog or if I would enjoy sticking to one topic more that is not personal.
Keep doing what you are doing. I actually found your blog when it was recommended on a friend’s blog and I love how authentic you are in your writing. I look at bloggers like I do my own friends. I love my friends, but we don’t all agree on everything and always enjoy the same things. If we did, it would be so boring.
Thanks for this post, Erin!!
I don’t get too personal on my blog. First of all, due to my job as a teacher, I can’t; however, it doesn’t mean I’m not real. And I don’t blog about my husband because A) he’s a private person and has asked me not to and B) it wouldn’t be good for his job to do so.
Great post! I totally agree with all that you said.
AMAZING post! This is so true – a blog is a one sided story about the topic of the moment – not life! It’s something that I don’t think some people understand. Or maybe they understand and just don’t care?