Ever since I can remember, Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings have been hard on our family. It was that way during my childhood and my mom always said that it was the devil trying to keep us away from church and worshipping God. And I know that my mom was right.
On Sunday mornings we struggle to get everyone dressed, fed and out the door by 8:30 a.m. so we can get to Sunday school on time. On Wednesdays, I teach children’s choir and have adult choir rehearsal at church, so I usually leave the house around 5:00 p.m. TC normally comes home at 5:00 on Wednesdays so I can get to church on time without waking the boys from their naps and getting them to church with me.
But last night, he couldn’t get home, so I brought them with me. I had to pack a bottle for Hayes and snacks for Hudson and get both of them up from naps and change their diapers. It’s not a huge deal, but we can’t just hop in the car and go. They always do fine at nursery drop-off. After children’s choir, TC met me at church to get the boys (and swap cars) and take them home before I went to adult choir. Otherwise they would have been at church until 8:00 or 8:30.
Well. I got the boys out of the nursery and waited in the lobby for TC. He came walking in and started putting Hayes in his car seat. Hudson was so excited to see his Daddy. Then I told everyone goodbye and started walking to the choir room. Then Hudson decided to lose his mind.
I could hear his cries getting louder as I walked away and kept waving goodbye. I told him I’d see him later. Then his cries got even louder and I was all the way in the next building and could still hear him crying. I sent TC a text and told him that I could hear Hudson and this was his response.
I started thinking that I should just leave and get home to him. What if he was upset with me? We spend all day, every day together, but he wanted his Mommy and I wanted to be there for him.
When I got home, Hudson was still up. He was very excited to greet me at the door and wanted to show me all kinds of stuff that he’d been up to. I was laying his clothes out on his bed for the next morning. He hopped up on his bed to where we were shoulder to shoulder. And he put his arm around my neck and leaned his head on my shoulder and simply said, “Hey, Mommy.”
Seriously. It broke my heart. How sweet is this precious little boy?
He melts down and freaks out over things and challenges us every single day, but his sweet little heart is so pure and so genuine. His expression of love is so sincere that it’s impossible not to stop everything I’m doing just to scoop him up into my lap to kiss his little face and tell him over and over again how much he is loved.
I’m glad I didn’t leave church tonight when he was so upset. He got over it. He always does. Minor issues turn into major meltdowns when you’re 2 years old.
But the reward that comes from seeing Hudson start to interact with Hayes or when he runs up to give a hug and just tell me he loves me? Those things just remind me that he’s growing up and he’s maturing. And maybe I don’t really want him to. Wishing away the “terrible” part of being two also means wishing away the sweet parts of being two. And I just don’t want to move on. Not yet.
I have these same feelings and that same child in girl form. It’s amazing how much I love that 2yr old! I sometimes wish away the terrible 2s as well but regret it when I k.or just as fast as she became 2 she will be 5.
ugh. tears! this post seriously tugged at my heartstrings. I have had those sweet, precious moments with my own children…the ones that stop you dead in your tracks. you’re such a good mommy, erin. the Lord is working through you in everything you do. God bless you & your sweet family! 🙂
sweet boy! great post – and the same things that remind you that he’s growing up and maturing should also remind you that you are doing a great job and are a great mommy! 🙂
You are so strong to understand that walking away and keeping going is what’s best for him! I am still such a wimp about things like that – it takes me about 20 minutes each morning at daycare just to leave bc I can’t walk away when Peanut is crying. I love that you find the good in everything – it’s such a great way to live life!
Oh my goodness, this seriously brought tears to my eyes. From what I read of Hudson he is a lot like my four year old. My little man can be see so stubborn, rambuncitious, and exhausting, but the other day after church we sat down for lunch and he said, “Hey mom, so how was your day?”. It’s moments like this that make parenting so worth it.
And I completely agree about the whole getting to church thing. Sunday mornings my husband leaves early because he’s lead guitar on our worship team, and it’s like pulling teeth to get out the door on time. We don’t go on Wed. nights, because our church doesn’t start on time (ever) and so we don’t home until after nine.
This post brought tears to my eyes. Ethan just turned one so I haven’t yet experienced these challenges although I’ve seen glimpses, and know it’s coming soon. I will try to remember your words when that time comes and not wish it away because that’s usually what I do!
Aw the love you have for your boys is so sweet.
I enjoy all of your posts, but especially love ones like these. Thank you for sharing these sweet moments! such a lucky Mommy you are 🙂
Gosh that must be so hard to not come running back to him immediately. He is really such a sweet sweet boy.
Precious moments!! Even though I hate for my little guy to cry when I walk away, I have to admit it sometimes make me feel good to know that he will miss me!!
Poor thing! I hate hate hate when that happens! It breaks my heart in two when I hear those cries and have to walk away! Glad H was up when you got home to give you some love!
Oh yes, I’ve had many of the same heart-breaking moments. You feel awful walking away but you know that’s what’s best. It’s reassuring when they see you later, after the tears have dried up, and it seems as if nothing has happened. Thankfully they don’t hold grudges. Which makes me wonder when exactly they learn that?! I want to skip that year.
Oh my gosh, I’m in tears. You know, this post really speaks to me about our job as Mommy. Not only is it our job to nurture, protect and teach our children, but it’s also our job to encourage them to grow up. That is probably the HARDEST part, especially for Moms. You were so right to not go back to the car, because Hudson needs that time with his Daddy too. But ugh….those cries just get us every time!!!
Great blog post. As I read this with my almost 7 week old baby girl taking a nap in my arms, I often ‘wish away’ some of the fussy times we go through, but then seeing her all sweet & adorable as she naps makes me want to hang on to these precious newborn days a little longer.
Such a sweet post, Erin. And you’re such a sweet mom. 🙂
This is all so true. We had trunk or treat last night and while it was full of a few tantrums and eating pavement in the parking lot after running when I told him to walk. But also sweet moments like after people we telling him he was cute he looks at me and says “Mommy, I’m cute!” Mommies just have to enjoy the moment and try to look past the difficult parts!
I have recently renewed my faith in God after a long struggle of whether to believe or not. I found a church that was convenient to our location. And now I force myself to go on Sundays. It is not easy getting my two boys out the door. Especially since my husband does not come with us. But each time I get them in their classroom and nursery and go into the worship hall – I just FEEL better. It is instant. I have this magical hour where I pour out my love for Jesus. I realized I NEED this time. Desperately. So I work through the stress and the tantrums to get there.
I think that I could have written this post myself. I have a toddler that will be three in December and a 20 month old. We were on our way to church last Sunday when my almost 3 year old said, “turn the car around and head home ’cause I don’t wanna go to church”. Sweet girl had a fun time, but surely didn’t want to that morning (unless mommy was going to stay with her in class :).
By the way, I have a Hudson also but she’s a girl.
My 10 month old has recently “caught” a wicked case of seperation anxiety. For the past couple of weeks my former happy-go-lucky, people loving baby now starts howling the minute someone besides his Daddy and I even come close to picking him up…including his grandparents!!! It definitely puts a cramp in our plans to leave him with a babysitter or in the church nursery. I know babies go through stages, I just hope this one ends soon!!!
Hah! And, you only had 20% battery. Totally the DEVIL!
I left for work this afternoon and my 3 year old came out the door sobbing because I was leaving. It about broke my heart…. but secretly I am glad that he misses me when I’m gone.
this is so sweet! Me too… every time I leave the house, it breaks my heart to see my little girl sobbing…
I feel the exact same way about my two year old little boy. He can frustrate the heck out of us sometime, but we sure to do love him to pieces. When he’s melting down or talking back, I just remind myself that he will be over it before I will! 😉