*Apparently my blog posts this week need to be named after song lyrics. Thanks, Brad Paisley, for today’s post title.
As I get closer to turning 30 (yes, I still have a full year ahead of me, but I tend to jump ahead a year. As soon as I turn 29, I’ll start saying, “I’m almost 30.” Just like when I turned 28, I was already saying, “I’m almost 29.” Whatever.) … Anyway, as I get closer to turning 30, I’m kind of looking back and thinking about what I’ve done and accomplished and also what I’ve missed.
So if I could write a letter to myself, this is what I’d say.
Dear Erin,
Let’s just get this out of the way. You spend way too much time putting yourself down. Apologizing for your size, your skin and your height. Love yourself. Don’t worry about those things. People can be mean, but ignore them. They obviously don’t care anything about getting to know you for who you are. And the day will come when you actually enjoy exercising and those freshman 40 will come off!
Enjoy being single. It’s hard not having a boyfriend when everyone else always seems to have a boyfriend, but there are only so many years in your life when you’re single. Being married is absolutely wonderful, but the best part of that is sharing your life with your best friend. So, in the mean time, spend time with your friends and enjoy every second of it. Enjoy your youth. Take advantage of long weekends and go on trips.
Travel more. When kids (and pets) come along, it really makes it difficult to just scoot out of town. Go places! See things. Do the things you’ve always wanted to do while it’s easy!
Stop looking to the next thing. Stop wondering when you’ll get married or when you’ll have babies. Life isn’t about having a checklist and marking things off the list. You want to experience every little thing and live in every moment. Don’t wish those moments away because you’re looking for the next big thing to happen.
Other people, and their opinions, do not define you. Don’t worry about what people will think if you don’t go out that night. Quit putting pressure on yourself to say “yes” to everyone. Focus on God and run to Him when you’re looking for your self-worth.
There are very few things in this life that you need. There are a lot of things that you want. But if you get everything you think you want, you’ll forget why you wanted any of it in a month anyway. Save money. Be responsible. This is the one area where you should look to the future and not live in the moment!
Try not to let things get you worked up. Don’t cry. Things may seem like a big deal right now. You may be stressed about which job you’ll accept and you don’t know where you want to live. It’s hard to make life choices when you’re just deciding for yourself. But it’s also a huge blessing! You’ll see very soon that your tears and stress weren’t all that necessary as things start to fall into place. God’s perfect plan will reveal itself.
Cling to your friends and family. Your family is forever and your good friends and the memories made with them will help shape your life.
Don’t be defined by insecurity, lack of contentment and things. These are your “problem areas” but you can overcome them if you fix your heart on the Lord.
Don’t be overcome with worry. Fulfill your responsibilities, but don’t let things keep you awake at night. Don’t procrastinate and just hurry up and get things done, so you can avoid that worry later.
Enjoy your youth. You’ll be looking at yourself in the mirror one day and the slight physical changes will be very obvious to you. You’ll find yourself wondering where the time went. But you’ll also be looking forward to what’s ahead and hopefully looking back with appreciation.
Love,
Me
I’m excited about entering the last year of my 20s. I’ve heard already from so many of you that the best is yet to come. The next decade should not be filled with a lot of the struggles, heartache, doubt and worry that I mentioned above. We learn so much in our 20s, don’t we? There is so much freedom that comes in this decade and we have to figure out what to do with all of that.
What would you say to your then-self in a letter?
GREAT post!!! We could literally be twins. Our minds work so much alike! Love ya
I just turned 29. This letter made me tear up a little bit. You exit your twenties a COMPLETELY different person than when you entered them. 20 years old seems like a baby compared to being 29. As I approach 30 it is becoming more and more clear that it is not scary or really old like I thought it was. (haha!) I am ready for it, and only because of what I have lived in my 20’s. You’re right- the best is yet to come!
Oh My! this little box isn’t big enough for everything I would say to my then-self!!!
1. You can’t fix him, stop trying, move on. It’s not you, its him…now really, move on.
2. If your friends are your friends because of who you date and the cozy group dynamic it creates, they aren’t really your friends.
3. Appreciate your sweet parents, because you WIll find out how hard it is…and it’s HARD.
4. The best thing in life are usually the hardest things in life.
5. Try and figure out who you are by listening to you, not the other 25 black pants on Thursday night wearing girls you are living with. The rest of your life is so much sweeter when you know who you are AND who you AREN’T.
6. Don’t ever overlook the “nice” guy. Walk briskly past the athlete-bar rat in college, and I mean BRISKLY.
the list could go on and on!
Thank you for this. I actually feel like this letter was written for me 🙂 I am going to print it and put it in my planner to look at everyday.
oh, there is so much to say…and so little time to say it!!
Have you seen http://www.dear18me.com/ ? It does these same kinds of letters… you know, because we would have really listened… right? haha
This is absolutely incredible. It’s one of the smartest advice I’ve read. My favorite part (although it’s all very insightful) is “Stop looking to the next thing.” I do that all the time! Then I tell myself that I need to be present….
Love the letter. I also love the song. I may have to steal this idea. I’m learning that in life we need to appreciate the moment we’re in rather than always looking to the next thing.
Great idea for a post. Songs are inspiring, aren’t they? And, I’m curious now, how tall are you?! 🙂
Your letter is great… but would you be the person you are today without the insecurities of youth? Would you find yourself right where you are now without the struggles you faced in the last ten years? I often think about things I could have done differently in my life. But I stop thinking that was just as soon as I start – I love the life I have now. I wouldn’t be this person, living this life, if I hadn’t messed up a few times first.
Nicely said! Most of what you wrote would be in my letter 🙂
so well written. i just turned 30 & hear you on all of that! AMEN! 🙂
Love your letter! It sounds like what I would say, as I turned 28 this year too. I would be sure to put and give this advise those other girls: You don’t have to date a ton of guys to find the one. Be patient. Guard your heart. You want to save it for the one you will spend the rest of your life with. And yes, you can have one guy who is your first boyfriend, the first you say I Love You to, the first you kiss, become your husband. I did, and the wait is worth it. And I waited for 26 years. Be strong girls!!!
I think many of us would write the same thing. Definitely enjoy the last year of your 20s and embrace 30 when it comes. When being the operative word because you do have a whole year+! I just turned 30 and am loving it already. You are so much more yourself at this phase in life than when you’re 22.
You need to frame that letter…it is very well written…and the best is yet to come…the 30’s is where life gets even better…Enjoy everyday!!
There isn’t enough time in the world to tell myself all the things I needed to hear. I’m actually looking forward to my thirties because I sort of think I’ve finally got it figured out. 30 has to be easier than my twenties were!
I’m ready for you to join me at 29! 😉
Loved this! I’m about to turn 26 and am so glad that I’m not the only mid-to-late-twenty-something who thinks these things. I’m learning more and more how important it is to embrace this season of life and enjoy it because it won’t last forever. Mr. Right will come along and it will all be different…a new, wonderful kind of different! Thanks for sharing!
Love this letter to yourself. I wrote a letter to my then 16 year old self a while ago, way before I had a blog. I should post it. It seems like I always stumble across a new blog,just when they are writing something I need to hear. Thank you for sharing this. Love your blog and look forward to reading more. Have a great day!
Wow! You did it again, I am moved to tears! My mom would always say don’t rush through life to get to the next thing, enjoy the little moments…I of course never listened.
What I would say to my then self:
* slow down, life is not a race
* stop worrying about what others think
* be a better friend, keep up with them better
* don’t drive 5 hours every other weekend in college to see your BF (he ends up being your husband), take the time to make new friends at school
* major in education…NOT HISTORY
* don’t be so stubborn
* be a better sister sooner
* don’t lose sight of your religion just b/c your in college
* I could go on and on!
What a perfect post to read today!
this is a great idea. i think i may need to borrow it. i would tell myself many of the same things.
Hi Erin!! Love your blog and especially love this post!! You have a beautiful family and are so blessed!!
Great post!!
LOVED this letter! It could have been addressed to me too!
And YES…The 30s ARE amazing. They blow the 20s away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So good. Loved it. I need to do the same!!
Yes!
I am always amazed at how peaceful and complete I finally feel now that I am a mother (and older, and wiser). If only I could have had this feeling 10 years ago!!
But, I always remind myself that God had a path for me, including the bumps, so that I could learn and grow and become the person I like today.
Now, if I can get my daughter to listen to me one day about all this…..
Great post! I love this idea. My letter would include a lot of the same thoughts. I would want to talk to myself about needs vs wants and to enjoy being single instead of attaching myself to the wrong person. What a cool birthday you have coming up! 11.11.11:)
What a great idea! I can see you’ve already inspired many comments. I’d tell myself that I shouldn’t care so much what other people think about me, that I should put more effort into searching for a job that’s really what I want to do and not a job just to have job security before college graduation, and to try a lot of foods/coffee I like now earlier. I never gave anything a chance until I was 20! Haha
The biggest thing I would tell myself is that it is good to have a plan, but even better to know when that plan needs to change.
If 10 years ago (I would be 21 then) if you would have asked me where I’d be in 10 years, it definitely would NOT be where I actually am today!
Beautifully written! I can think of so many people who would benefit from reading your letter and these words of wisdom! Thanks for sharing!
Love this! I’m 24 and the biggest worrier. Always worried about what’s going to happen in the future, waiting for the “next big thing.” Thanks for the advice!!
I somehow turned 31 this year and let all of that go by without a thought…it’s all so true though. I need to sit down for a minute and write myself a letter!!! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Just wanted to say that I do the same thing when I turn a yr older – oh, i am almost 35 and then I FORGET I am really just 34!! My friends just laugh at me(b.c they have to correct me on this a lot!) however, I don’t do that since my last birthday. I think that might be b/c saying “almost 37” seems old to me(I am 36 now). its amazing how fast the time goes once you hit 30. I truly cannot believe I am a “full grown adult”. HELLO! I am close to 40!! I still feel too young for that!
Loved reading this! I may have to write a letter to myself.
My sister just started her senior year in college and I printed this off for her. She absolutely loved it. It’s full of those reminders that you wish you had when you were younger before life got so serious. Perfect post and so honest! Thanks for sharing <3
Be happy with today…..enjoy the simple things in life…… Don’t rush your life…
The people in your life you love..tell them everyday bc u never know what tomorrow will bring….
Take time to really think what u want out of life and go out and make it happen…..
I love this post. I’ll turn 26 in a couple months and it was only recently that I learned that I have to stop living my life like it’s a checklist. I was always in this big hurry to get things done by a certain age, etc. and now I realize that I wasted a lot of the good years when I should have been having fun. I’m trying to enjoy my single girl freedom for awhile now too.