I'm a boy mom

Boy mom.

I hear this title used a lot. It’s not a title I ever thought I’d have. I always imagined myself having two girls and then having a baby boy. You know, when I’d play M*A*S*H in school and plan out my life with a mansion, a Ferrari (just like the one in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off) and my two girls and one boy.

I’ve been writing this post in my head for so long and I’ve just been afraid to put it all down. But I do want to talk about it.

When I first got pregnant with Hudson, I was convinced I was having a baby girl. I only browsed the girl aisles in stores and was looking at bows and sweet shoes. I would talk with my mom for an hour on the phone every day and imagine my life someday having the same conversations with my daughter.

And then we found out that we were having a baby boy. My first thought, if I’m being honest, was, “I don’t know anything about little boys. What do they like?”

But I figured it out. I figured out that he is mine and he is a perfect little person who has crazy wild moments and super sweet tender moments. After a day of letting it set in that I was not having a girl, I finally understood that the gender just did not matter at all. I mean, duh. This should be obvious, right?

With Hayes, I just always knew that he was going to be a boy. It was just a feeling I had. I knew that Hudson was going to have a brother and they would (hopefully) become best buddies. Hayes is so different than Hudson was because he, too, is his own little person. But I wanted him to be a boy. I knew that if another little boy was anything like Hudson, it would just be the best thing in the world.

I was talking with a friend the other day. She’s a boy mom, too. And we discussed the part of being a boy mom that is “hard.” It’s the pressure from other people. And there’s the “loss” and mourning of that future mother/daughter relationship when I’m 50 and I’m an empty-nester.

Because I’m in the social media world a lot, I get to eavesdrop on conversations. I have seen so many sweet friends announce their pregnancies and then announce the sex of their baby. And, I honestly don’t think I’m making this up, I see a lot of people say, “oh! I hope it’s a girl!” And that really hurts this boy mom’s feelings. Why would someone else hope that the pregnant gal would be having a girl? Why wouldn’t someone want a boy? What happened to just wanting a healthy baby?

And what about these statements from a pregnant celebrity/girl mom?

When I got pregnant with Hayes, I felt this strange, unspoken pressure/hope/rooting from other people for him to be a girl. A lot of people said, “I know this is a girl” and when I did announce that he was a boy, people even said, “don’t worry, baby number three will be a girl.”

My friends aren’t saying this to be rude. And there may always be a place in my heart that I have reserved for a daughter. But if I have four boys someday, I will be happy. And maybe I will even be spoiled by them someday?

I know that if I don’t ever have a daughter, my life will still be complete and wonderful and full of happiness.

I read this article and felt like someone finally got my thoughts out there.

I adore my family and I adore my boys. The sweetness mixed with the hilarity can’t be matched and that has nothing to do with them being boys. It’s just because of who they are and who they’re growing up to become.

I’ve said before that I want what my own mom and I have with a daughter someday. And I may always want that if I don’t have a daughter. And if I never get to use my girl name that’s on reserve, I’ll just buy a fish and give it the name!



I often feel the need to shout from the rooftops about how wonderful boys are. I know that prom planning, wedding planning and grandbaby planning won’t be as much fun without a daughter to keep me in the loop and gab with on the phone for hours, but believe me. I am counting my blessings. My precious guys are everything I have prayed for my whole life and never knew it.

Tonight, we were playing hide and seek in the house with my mom and Hudson. My wild boy was having the absolute best time. The smile on his face as he ran through the house just made my heart explode. And later in the evening, when he had calmed down some, he was sitting in my lap and we were singing songs. He accidentally hit me in the face and I pretended to cry. (I know, that’s kind of mean.) But he immediately said, “What’s the matter, Mommy? I’m sorry, Mommy.” Gah. My heart.

Are there any other boy moms who have felt this way? Has anyone ever looked at you and laughed because you have all boys? (If not, consider yourself lucky) We can even discuss the annoying boy clothes that mostly look like teenage boy clothes or a costume. What’s with all the writing on everything?

I was talking to my friend, Molly, the other day and I have decided that if there is a baby number three, I’d really like to not find out the sex before he or she is born. It’s truly the last real surprise! I think it would be so much fun.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

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  1. says

    Love this post girlfriend. I don’t have babies, but I babies are such a gift from God no matter their gender. I love your boys, they are cutest. Congrats on being a boy mom! πŸ™‚

  2. VKS says

    I love this! We’re in the discussing babies stage right now and even though when I was playing “MASH” and imagining my future life, I saw little girls and ballet and pageants and prom, my husband makes me want to be boy mom, so we can have a sweet little boy just like him. πŸ™‚ We’ll see how it all works out!

  3. says

    My SIL is a boy mom to two boys, like you. She has those same thoughts, of mourning the thought of a future mom/daughter relationship. But she also adores her boys, because, Duh! They’re hers! And perfect, and adorable. And they’re healthy toddlers/babies! I want a boy one day, I do. But I also know that I would be okay with all girls. And I just have to say that my other SIL had two girls, and got pregnant with her 3rd, and she very much got the same type of sayings (just like you did, but opposite), “oh don’t worry, this one will be a boy!”….and they did want a boy, but they would have WANTED a girl too πŸ™‚ They ended up with a boy. Which is perfect, because that’s just how God intended it to be. My mom had two girls and two boys. She still says to this day that there is something so special about a momma bond w/ her boys. And in a different way, but similar, a bond w/ a momma and her daughters. I think no matter what, it’s your child. And it’s meant to be. So that gives me comfort in whatever my future holds & the gender of any future kiddies. πŸ™‚

  4. says

    You know what’s weird? Peanut is a girl (this is not the weird part) but my entire pregnancy (well, at least until we found out), I felt like she was going to be a boy. Then, when everyone else got excited for a girl, I secretly wished she was a little boy. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my baby girl and I wouldn’t have her any other way, but even now, as I start thinking about baby #2, I can’t help but hope for a little boy. you know, the one that loves his mama.

  5. says

    Oh Erin, you just spoke straight to my heart. I am not pregnant, nor do I have any kids. My in-laws comment all the time, “Hopefully you’ll get the girl.” When my brother-in-law announced that he and his wife were expecting (and then found out it was a boy), the statement was made again. I feel like asking, “And what if I have a boy? Will there be disappointment?” Because honestly, I would just be happy to grow my family. I would be 100% content with whatever God gave me. Thank you so much for posting this and being honest with your feelings.

  6. says

    I swear you have some magical power to see inside all the moms’ heads and put into words exactly what they are thinking. We didn’t tell people the gender of the baby even though we knew and people couldn’t understand why. The reason – it didn’t matter! All I wanted was a safe pregnancy for me and a healthy baby at the end. Boy or girl – didn’t matter! I’m like you and would love to have a daughter some day, but right now I love having a house full of boys (son, hubby, and dog), and if it doesn’t happen, maybe I will just be blessed with a lively daughter in law!

  7. says

    I have an almost 7 month old little boy. I was excited that my first child would be a boy, he would be the big brother to all his siblings. But, at the same time I was scared. I have a sister and no brothers. What do I know about raising a son? What about all those cute little girl things?? Why is it so hard to find good clothes for boys?? But, he has been the best thing. It doesn’t matter what he wears, he is the cutest thing I have ever seen. I would love to have a girl someday, but I really don’t care. I just want to raise my boy ( maybe more in the future) to love his mommy so he will still visit me when he is grown πŸ™‚

  8. says

    I have two boys myself and if a girl comes down the road, great but if I have another boy, I will be just as happy. My grandma had three boys and was showered by their love. She wouldn’t have had it any other way. She eventually got her girls too, three DILs. My MIL, all boys, but the relationship that I have with her is pretty special and I hope to have the same with my boys future wives. So the girl will come just might be in a different form. Thanks for posting this.

  9. says

    Hey! I have one baby girl and another baby on the way, we won’t find out the gender for a couple more months. The strange things are the comments that my husband and sometimes both of us get about having a boy. I think men feel and say the same “oh I hope you’ll get a boy” comments about girls that women feel and say about boys. The boy comments hurt my feelings in the same way that the girl comments hurt yours–do you think we would be disappointed with another girl? No! We love our sweet Clara and would be thrilled to have another baby girl. I want a boy so that I can have both, but, like you said so perfectly, I know that if I don’t ever have a son, my life will still be complete and wonderful and full of happiness.

  10. Allison says

    Erin! You just gracefully articulated my heart and thoughts. As a fellow Boy Mom (ages 4 and 2), I understand every.single.thing you wrote about. The clothes are terrible– either too old looking or too “punkish” or just too blah– why should we dress our boy babies like skateboarder teenagers?! And the constant “looks” and “aww you have your hands full! Bet it’s wild at your house!” comments from well-meaning friends and nosy strangers when they hear I have all boys are baffling. What’s wrong with having boys?? They are loving, sweet, rascals, fun-loving, energetic, and imaginative, and I feel blessed to call myself their mother and to know that God has given me the responsibility of raising future men for Him! Truthfully, there’s still a part of me that would love to have a daughter, to share that future bond of being best friends with her when she’s grown, and to feel a part of the special events of her life (like you mentioned- wedding and baby planning), but I believe that God has given (and will give me, in the case of future baby #3) EXACTLY the family He has made for me, and that He has a plan for all of us as mothers, whether it’s to shepherd the hearts of all boys, all girls, or a mix of the 2. Thank you for your honesty, and just know that you are not the only Boy Mom out there who feels the way you do! πŸ™‚

  11. says

    My MIL is a boy mom to my husband and his brother (who are absolutely the best of friends). I know that she wouldn’t have had it any other way! And now she’s getting to do a lot of the girl stuff with my little girl (we live in the same town as my husband’s parents)… yet she won’t have to pay for the wedding or the prom dresses (or any of those other huge expenses that come with being a girl parent). I think it she may have the best of both worlds!

  12. Jamie says

    I couldn’t agree more. I get so tired of people wishing for a girl… What happened to wishing for a healthy baby? Especially on twitter/blog! So many people on here can’t have children or have children with special needs and I think declaring that you want a girl instead of a healthy baby is so rude! I love having a boy! I love being ahoy mom. God has a plan for all of us and already has decided what our families should be. If you want a girl,or a boy for that matter, I think it’s something that you should keep to yourself, your close friends, and family. If that person who has been so public/open with what they want doesn’t get it, it leaves you wanting to say “I’m sorry” instead of “congrats”.

  13. Andrea says

    I love this post, Erin! I read your blog but don’t often comment, but I had to on this. I have a boy (my firstborn!) and a girl, and we didn’t find out the sex either time. It is a truly wonderful surprise, and I would encourage you to strongly consider that if you do expand your family again! I loved, loved, loved being a boy mom so much that I was always taken aback by the comments from people who hoped my second baby would be a girl. (I secretly hoped she would be another boy! Of course, I hope I don’t need to clarify that I would not change her for anything!!!) You’re not imagining all the “girl hope” that is out there — I see it, too. Without taking anything away from my daughter, there is something so, so special about my relationship with my son.

  14. says

    I’ll be honest – I was one of those people that wanted a little girl. I think everyone around was kind of nervous when we went to find out the gender because of my possible reaction if it was a boy. We did end up having a little girl and my excitement quickly wore off when the thought passed through my head “what if she is a wild child like me between the ages of 18 and 24.” Picture me pregnant and in complete panic – how do I raise this precious little angel to fully love herself and not date the mean boys that will break her heart and not get drawn into the emotional girl drama of middle school. Raising a girl is totally terrifying. I already decided that for the next baby I truly do not care the gender and since it will be a scheduled c-section I want SOMETHING to be the surprise so much to the dismay of my crazy MIL….we are NOT finding out whether it’s a boy or a girl! I think that’s a great idea…that way I’ll just be happy to have my baby in my arms and not dissapointed on the gender.

  15. Valerie says

    I grew up always wanting a little girl so when I found out my current baby who is due in December was a boy, I surprised myself with how excited I am. I really love your perspective on this. Even I forget sometimes that having all boys might not be a curse but rather a wonderful blessing. Thank you so much for your post!!

    I will say I have to agree about the clothes. My little one isn’t even here yet and I’ve already started accumulating clothes for when he is older. Seems like after 2, their clothes take on a not quite as cute look.

  16. says

    My husband only has a brother so his mom is a boy mom and and being the only daughter in law she tries very hard (too hard sometimes) to create that relationship with me. When she is forcing the relationship a bit and its easy for me to get caught up in it I actually think about you (I hope that doesn’t sound creepy!) and posts like this that you have written to remind me that at one time she was a young mom also and I’m sure she had a very special relationship with her little boys like you have with your two little guys. Posts like this really help me to see a different side of a story that I don’t know personally and I really appreciate you always putting your truth and your heart out there in these posts in such an honest and thoughtful way.

  17. alison says

    People say such crazy things to new Moms, When I had my first, a boy who is now 11, everyone was all over the “you must be so happy it’s a boy, your husband and the Grandpa’s must be so happy”, like they wouldn’t have been equally happy to have a girl, my second is a girl, who is now 10, and everyone kept saying we were so lucky to have a “millionaires family” an expression I had not previously heard and found strange and offensive in some weird way….I grew up being one of 3 girls who listened over and over again to everyone commenting to my Dad that it was too bad he didn’t have a son. I found it so strange that people weren’t just happy we had a healthy child, yet many people were all over the “oh now you got your girl” (like it only mattered to me not my husband, and implying that I would have been unhappy with another boy, which couldn’t be further that the truth) or people said things like too bad your son won’t have a brother or too bad your daughter won’t have a sister…..you can’t win with some people!

  18. says

    Great post. I can’t totally relate because I don’t have kids, but a few things. I think even if you don’t have a daughter, you’ll still have a daughter-in-law one day and that relationship can be very special too. Personally, my relationship with my MIL isn’t, but I could see where it would be really special since you both have a love for the same man. In regards to Jennifer Garner’s comments, I saw that too, but maybe she just meant girls are what she knows. Just like boys are what you know right now and wanted a brother for Hudson – maybe that’s her thinking with girls. I think we all get comfortable with what we know. I have two siblings so there were three of us growing up, and I think it’s the perfect number! But, who’s to say 2 or 4 isn’t perfect too. It’s all relative. Anyway, you’re a great mom and are raising two very handsome boys.

  19. Lisa says

    Thank you so much for posting this! I am a “Boy Momma” and I have recently been intrigued/somewhat annoyed with the comments regarding gender. When I was pregnant with my second son and would tell people that he was a boy I was often met with comments like.”oh! two boys you are in trouble, or are you going to try for a girl? My boys are 11 months apart so I was used to getting comments regarding their closeness in age but was not excpecting so many regarding their gender. I find it so interesting how society views gender and how random strangers comment on this. I worked in International Adoption for many years and overwhelmingly families wanted to adopt girls over boys. I think this is a North American trend as many countries historically have favoured males for linage reasons and or/ passing down land etc. I have always said the only real thing that I mourn not having a girl is all the cute dresses/clothes/hair bows and wedding dress shoppping with a daughter when she is older. Maybe I will have an amazing daughter in law that will let me share. Finally, just to counter this whole argument I have a friend of a friend who had a daughter and found out she was excpecting another girl. She and her husband were nothing short of devestated when they found out:( Apparently, becuase her husband is a farmer he wants someone to carry on this tradition. When I saw her recently she told me she “has to have a third” because she needs to give her husband a son. I am not sure why a girl could not be a farmer or that there is any guarantee if they had a a boy he would even want to take over the farm.. but for what its worth I guess the “gender” issue goes both ways……. just my perspective:) from one boy momma to another:)

  20. says

    My mom had two boys and was desperate for a girl- which she obviously got. Now, I have three nieces, with another expected in February and with each of those pregnancies, she was hoping for a grandson- to the point that she has boy clothing she’s bought over the years waiting in her closet. Sometimes I think that people just want a person to have one of each gender, and they don’t realize what a blessing it is to just have a healthy child. When I miscarried in June, I think it was a wake up call to my mom how blessed my family had been so far to not have lost any children or had any major medical issues. Personally, I’m more than ok with this baby being a boy or a girl, as long as I get to keep it!

    Also, my MIL had three boys (lost one at birth), and while she has shared she has wished she had a girl somewhere in there, it has made me and my SIL’s relationship with her that much sweeter. Even if you never have a girl, you may still get that close relationship with a daughter in law someday:)

  21. Sarah says

    Love this!!! My first (and only) child is a boy and I secretly wanted a boy! Once we found out the sex and I told people that, they were stunned that I wanted a boy and not a girl. I just found it to be completely absurd and insulting. Love, love, love your honesty!

  22. says

    Having only a sister growing up, I felt like all I knew about was girls. When I first found out I was having a boy, I wasn’t so much sad as I was nervous. What would I do with a boy? What a silly question, really. Like you so eloquently said, boys are the sweetest. It’s amazing how they can be rambunctious balls of energy, bouncing off the walls one minute and huggy, kissy the next, telling their Momma how pretty she looks or that he loves her. If I get to skip the girl-drama, I think the good Lord knew what he was doing. I have a very close relationship with my mom that I would love to have with a daughter but who’s to say I can’t be close with my boys. Maybe I’ll just adopt my future daughter-in-law as my own daughter. God will find a way to fill that void for me.

    Great post. I’ve had the same thoughts many times but never found the inspiration to write about it.

  23. Sarah says

    As someone that has been through infertility and multiple miscarriages, I find it very upsetting when people ask if we want a boy or girl next (we were able to have one healthy baby – a boy). I tell people now, that after having been through so many losses, how could I not be happy no matter what the sex is?! It’s always been a disturbing question, and even more so now. Who cares?!? They are precious little people no matter what, and I have such a bond with my son that is amazing! I love my little boy like crazy, and if we were to be blessed with another boy, I would be beyond thrilled! Boy, girl – makes no difference to me. As long as I have a baby to hold in my arms.

  24. Kristin B says

    I had the exact opposite experience with my first. I knew a year and a half before I ever got pregnant that my first child would be a girl. I just felt it with every fiber of my being. And I was right and my husband and I were thrilled. Our families not so much, they all wanted a boy. So we never told anyone the gender until we gave birth and when my husband called some family their first response was, “too bad it wasn’t a boy.”. I was crushed, as any new mom would be. So I never ask people who have two girls or two boys if they will try for another to get the different gender. I think a lot of people are made to be boy moms or girl moms. And just think of the awesome daughters you will gain when your little boys get married!

  25. says

    Oh my goodness I could have written this post! As another mom of 2 boys I feel the exact same way as you! When I found out #2 was a boy everyone from friends to grocery store cashiers would ask me “When are you going to have a girl?” It is frustrating and disappointing that some people don’t understand how amazing little boys are! Yes I would love to have a girl someday but seeing the bond between my two little guys makes me so happy that #2 was a boy and if #3 does happen to be a boy I am sure I would feel the same way!

  26. says

    Oh Erin-I can so relate to this. I went through the exact emotions you described, with both of my boys. Then when #3 was a girl, everyone was like “I knew it! You had to be a girl mommy…now your family is complete…” blah, blah, blah. My husband and I have always planned to have 3-4 kids and everyone immediately said “oh, you’re done now!” Ummm, having a 3rd boy or our two boys and a girl were never what was driving the notion of having 4 kids. We wanted a large family. We are done now-not because Lizzy was a girl, but because her first year was HARD. Having three kids regardless of gender is hard and overwhelming, but when you include #3 crying for nearly 5 months straight, having feeding issues, lack of weight gain issues, etc. it does a lot to a Momma! Of course, no one will ever really “hear” me when I say that. They hear what the want to. πŸ™

  27. says

    This is so interesting to me. I have 3 boys and 1 girl (my daughter is part of my triplets). When I was pregnant with the trio, people used to say “well at least you got one girl!”. I never thought that was offensive or never internalized it but I have a different perspective since I do have a girl. I cherish my 3 boys and never realized moms to all boys had this struggle. Thanks for sharing!

  28. says

    I think it’s always hard when people criticize something that we can’t control. In defense of Jennifer Garner, my parent’s had 4 girls when the Lord called them to adopt my little brother. They had no idea what it would we like to bring a boy into the family and it was weird for them. 12 years later, it still is! I think that is probably what she meant, not that it would be bad, but that she was comfortable with girls (she grew up with 2 sisters) and had experience and it would be totally new to have a boy! Each child is a gift and the Lord is the one that both creates and gives them to us!

  29. Alicia says

    I have 2 boys – 4 & 20 months. And no more babies to come. I knew both times immediately that I was pregnant with a boy. And while, yes, I do sometimes mourn the mother/daughter things I might miss out on, I couldn’t be happier with my little fellas. I pray now for their future wives and my relationship with them. But I feel blessed to be raising these future men and now understand so much more the saying “little boys love their mommies!”.

  30. M says

    I am a girl mom and everyone thinks I am dying for that boy. While I do want to experience being the mother to a boy, if I had three daughters, I could not fathom a greater blessing. So I feel you. The comments go both ways. I think people always want more of what they already have (gender-wise) because it is so familiar and they are so in love with their first born.

  31. says

    I’m a mom to 2 boys and wouldn’t change A THING!! I’m actually pregnant with Baby #3….. gender to be determined in a few weeks. πŸ™‚ I’ve had several people say to be “Hopefully you’ll get your girl this time”…… my response “A healthy baby is all that REALLY matters. BUT, another boy would be fabulous!” and then I get a look of shock. Frankly, I’m a good boy mom and not sure how I would handle a little girl at this point. I’ve been a mom for a little 4 years now and wouldn’t change a thing. So…… I lift my glass (milk not wine right now since I am pregnant!) and say cheers to all the boy moms out there!!!! We rock!!

  32. says

    I’m a boy mom too and can relate to every last thing you have said here. We are going to be trying for number two soon and no matter what you can’t help but have thoughts on which sex you would prefer, but honestly I don’t know what I want. I love my little boy to death and would love to have another just like him so they could be best of buds one day. I also really want to have a little girl to help plan a wedding and go prom dress shopping with and share my love of fine china and all things pretty. And like you, I have had soooo many people say “Well, maybe the next one will be a little girl.” and it hurts my heart. I immediately go on the defensive. Boys are awesome they love their mama’s. I’d still like one girl one day (I want 4 children in all) but I’d be more than thrilled to have the rest be boys. Great post!

  33. says

    I am too a “boy mom” — It’s difficult to put into words what I feel about my kids. Sure, I would love to have a girl, would it be the perfect life having a girl and a couple boys..No! We often times feel that the perfect family is one with mixed genders, but truly there is no “perfect” family, just the perfect family that God has built just for you. I love having boys, I look forward to the day I have daughters by love. We don’t know if we’re going to have any more kids, as of right now we are undecided, but the chances of having another boy is rather high! I feel so blessed that God chose to have the raising of future men in our {corrupt} world and by that I feel truly honored. Here’s to being “boy moms” and doing a darn good job of it! XoXo*S

  34. Laura says

    I have raised 2 sons who are now 27 and 29 years of age. I love boys and they adore their mother!! They love their father but when it is all said and done boys have a special place in their heart for their mother. If we had decided to have another child, I would have wanted another boy. In raising my sons, I learned to go with the flow, expect the unexpected, and to have a sense of humor!!!
    Enjoy your boys and the adventure you will have with them.

  35. says

    I am also a “boy mom” I’ve never thought about calling myself that but I like it. I too wanted a girl and convinced myself I was having a girl, when the ultrasound tec said “its a boy” I was shocked! I wanted (and maybe did ask)”are you sure” but after the shock I got really excited I agree there isn’t as many options in clothes or fun stuff like that (which can be a blessing if we compare costs) but I will say I am over the moon in love with my little boy, he is 2 and a half now and my day to day has never been more fun! Often people will ask me about my future babies and say you will get a girl and always look at them and say ” O I hope to have 3 boys” because it’s true I am truly a “boy mom”.

  36. says

    I am a boy mom as well! Two little ones, ages 3 and 1. I keep hearing the same things you posted…”you gotta keep trying for that girl,” “the next one for sure will be a girl,” etc. Who cares? I certainly don’t! Like you, I think to the days when I’ll be old and gray (or gray-er :)) and know that my boys will take care of me. Not that daughters wouldn’t too, but you know what I’m saying.

    If in a couple years, that last baby we try for is a girl, great. If it’s a boy, perfect! I am not living in some fantasy world where a girl will make my life perfect. I think it’s pretty great as is!

  37. says

    Even though I’m a few years away from having kids, you are one of the only “mommy” blogs that I truly enjoy because I love the way you share your experiences with honesty. It seems like you are doing a great job with your boys and I love all your cute photos, organization tips, and creative things you do with them, yet you still seem like you’ve retained “yourself” in motherhood which I think is wonderful and it’s awesome that you find the time to write such a fantastic blog while still being a great mom! (hopefully I can do the same one day…) I especially enjoyed this post because as I said even though I’m still a few years away from having a baby, it’s something that my husband and I talk about, and I’ll admit, I always say that I’d love a girl…yet he would love to have all boys. I think a lot of that stems from how we grew up–I have one sister who I’m very close with, while my husband has 3 older brothers and he really loved having brothers growing up. When my husband and I first started dating, I was a little intimidated coming into such a male-dominated family, but I have to say, it’s been a great experience. When we spend time with his family, we’re usually off-roading or go-karting or doing some “boyish” activity, and while I’m a little out of my comfort zone, it’s actually a lot of fun! Plus, my husband and his brothers all love their mom so much and it’s made me realize that I would be extremely lucky to have a son because it really is a special relationship πŸ™‚

  38. says

    This is a great post! I’ve only known for a week that we’re having a boy. We are both thrilled beyond words. But all throughout the beginning of the pregnancy I really had the feeling it was a girl. I wasn’t disappointed at all when I found out we’re having a baby boy– but it did make me realize that I was online picking out girl nursery inspiration pictures and always browsing through girl clothes. I think that just happens because it is what we relate to the most? Not sure. Anyway, I am so looking forward to our baby boy’s arrival and I couldn’t be more excited to be a “boy mom” πŸ™‚

  39. says

    This is very well said!! I wanted a boy, I knew Carter was a boy when I was pregnant, and some people’s reactions, were unreal! “Oh Im sorry, maybe you will have a girl next time.” I mean really?? As long as they are healthy that is all that matters!! But I am so glad that God blessed me with a boy!! It is an honor to be his mommy, and he sure does LOVE his mommy!! I think being a mother to a little boy is absilutely the most AWESOME thing! And like you, if I have all boys I will be perfectly happy with a house full!! πŸ™‚

  40. devon says

    well, i think you are lucky to be a boy mom.

    i have two girls and i love & adore them!

    i also had twin boys who died a few days after birth and i mourn their loss daily. and i mourn the loss to raise sons. i think the bond between a son and his mom is amazing. my girls are daddy’s girls and sometimes my heart takes a beating.

    i got and still get the same statements about “maybe someday you’ll have a boy” and i want to scream “i did! i do! have boys!” so i think it goes both ways. people think that having 1 of each is the best. maybe it is, i dont know. but as much as you love having two boys, i love having two girls.

    i just mourn the loss of what could have been as this mama’s womb is closed πŸ™ enjoy your boys! you are a blessed mama!

  41. says

    I desperately wanted to have a boy first. I am the second child, with an older brother. My husband is the oldest. We both just assumed that families have a boy first, and then whatever. We were pretty disappointed when the U/S tech said “GIRL.” Having met our little girl, we love her to pieces and couldn’t imagine anything else. But now that I’m pregnant again, the familiar wishing and hoping for a boy gurgles in my chest like bad heartburn. I know I would love a second daughter, but oh do I hope it’s a boy.

  42. says

    I couldn’t agree more about the boy’s clothes! My precious boy is only 6 weeks old, and I don’t understand why folks feel the need to print tiny shirts that says he parties naked. Yikes.

    I also totally hear you on the girl pressure – some definitely self-inflicted. I so wanted a girl while I was pregnant. Now, I can’t imagine loving anyone more than my perfect little boy! Being a boy mom is the best thing that’s ever happened to me! Although, if I do have a girl one day, I feel like it’ll be much easier to shop πŸ™‚

  43. says

    Yes. This, all of it, every day, running through my heart.

    I just ADORE being a boy mom. Sometimes when I think towards my life, I picture myself surrounded by a pack of boys. The hungry appetites & wacky humor & ability to be both strong & sensitive. Raising them right, to make sure another generation of women is loved.

    But then I mourn the loss of a daughter & the relationship I have with my own mother. I think about when my momma is gone & wonder who my best friend will be without a daughter. I wonder if I’ll be shopping & baking alone while my husband & sons play golf all Saturday.

    It’s a tug in both directions, for sure. The good news is, I have equal reasons for adoring both, so either will be a fantastic blessing.

  44. says

    I was a little disappointed when I found out I was having a boy. My niece and I were so close and I wanted what we had with my son. I went through a little bit of a funk when I found out he was a boy, but OF COURSE I love him so much and he’s perfect for our family. At some point (in the far future), we’ll try again and this time it doesn’t really matter. I think my son will be thrilled to have a brother or a sister (but I do long to buy the awesome girl clothes (boy clothes can be so boring)). Plus, boys DO have that energy. I’m not one to stereotype, but after being around a lot of babies, I can say that boys are definitely more energetic and crazy and girls tend to be a little more mellow. Thanks for sharing – I think it is so important that people can read honest thoughts about this kind of thing.

  45. says

    I love this. I am not 100% a boy mom as I have b/g twins. So in many ways I have the best of both worlds. However I had many of the same dreams of a girl but my boy has blown my socks off. I love him to pieces and I think in some ways it is a little sweeter because it was so unexpected. I think it is the same for my husband with our daughter he always wanted the boy and she has him so very smitten. Needless to say God is in control and he has our family perfectly planned and has had it that way long before we ever thought about it. Enjoy those boys they are so very sweet. And I promise if I ever wish one of my friends is having a girl it is just so my girl has friends…all of our friends are having sweet boys this year!

  46. Britt says

    I love this post! It is so honest and well written. I can completely relate, being sure I was having a girl when I was pregnant with my son. I had the color scheme and the name all picked out and nothing picked out for a boy. I was still super excited when we found out it was a boy because of the special relationship my brother and mother always had. Little did I know at the time how much I would absolutely adore having a boy! There is this connection that makes my heart swell! I am pregnant again and while I would have expected myself to want a girl, I can honestly say I don’t care, and whatever God chooses is the best choice! I do agree with you that having the mother/daughter relationship would be great having lost my mom suddenly 7 years ago and missing that reelationship so, but a mother/son relationship is pretty special too. πŸ™‚

  47. Anna says

    Thank you for writing this Erin! I think it’s my favorite post of yours to date, because it is so sincere and an important topic for our society to address. I’m a boy mom to a 18 mo old and my 11 year old step son. It’s so interesting to be a mommy to boys with such an age gap, I get to see how they are at very different stages in life. From my perspective, it is all around wonderful. They see the world from such a different perspective than I do, and I learn so much from them everyday, and I see my husband in such a fresh way. I guess I feel that every mother should have a son and every father a daughter, but ultimately God gives us what he knows that we need. Being a woman with no sisters and six brothers, I’ve witnessed from my brothers and stepson that a mother always has a special place in their sons hearts, different than they do with daughters. When I think of the future with my grown sons, I pray for men of character and imagine the relationship I will have with their wives, one unique from the one she has with her mother, perhaps as an unbiased mentor because our relationship has potential to be free of familial expectation. Either way, God has a wonderful plan for us and for you and your family!

  48. says

    I’m not a boy mom. I have one little girl and another on the way, so I can’t exactly relate. But I know my husband gets the opposite reaction. People feel “bad” for him that he’s going to have 2 girls, and the say things about the next one being a boy.

  49. Sarah says

    This is the first time I’ve ever read your blog, but I saw the title of the post on someone else’s blog and I immediately wanted to read it! I have two little boys (my 20 month old boy is Hayes, too!) I felt the same way when I was expecting Hayes that people felt disappointment for me to be having ANOTHER BOY. I hated it! I felt so grateful to be having a healthy baby and I’m not much for caring one way or the other for what the baby is. I wasn’t disappointed one bit to be having another boy. Now, I’m 27 weeks pregnant with a girl and I get the sense that people think I only had a third to have the girl which couldn’t be further from the truth. We always planned on three kids and I would have been happy with ANOTHER BOY! I resent that people keep telling me that “I finally got my girl”. As if my second child is just a throw-away because he wasn’t? Or had the third been a boy that we wouldn’t have wanted him as much? Maybe I shouldn’t read too much into it, but it does always bother me. I want people to know that the only thing I ever dreamed of was to have healthy children – the concept of wishing that they were one sex or another is truly foreign to me.

    PS. There’s a great little online shop called http://www.boymomdesigns.com that has some cute stuff for all the boy moms out there.

  50. Melissa says

    As a mom of two girls (ages 6 & 8), I can echo your sentiments from the other end. So many people asked us if we were disappointed that we didn’t have a boy the second time. To be honest, we were disappointed at first. I wanted a little boy for my husband (and for myself!) Looking back, I see how selfish that was. God gave us the family that He thinks is best for us. He knows that my husband and I have the gifts needed to raise these daughters to love Him. We can’t have more children due to a serious complication I developed during my second pregnancy, so our family is complete. I wanted a son for my husband to have that special “father-son” relationship, so I could cheer a son on in a football game, so that I could have a different kind of relationship than I have with my daughters. Now that I see the two amazing daughters that God gave us, I am so incredibly thankful that HE knows best! I don’t care what gender my children are….I just want children who love and serve the Lord with their entire heart!

  51. says

    I could write the longest comment right here about how much I can relate and agree with this post! But I will just say that I think you nailed it! Even as a mom of both a boy and a girl, I have had so many of these same experiences and conversations with people.
    Boys are so fun and wonderful, just as girls are, and whatever plan God has for each family is perfect! Yay for being a boy mom! πŸ™‚

  52. says

    I was convinced Landon was a girl before I found out around 20 weeks. I would have bet my life on it, I was that sure. I was really shocked when we saw boy parts clear as day on the ultrasound because I always thought I’d have a girl first. I wasn’t disappointed at all, but I was really surprised and had to change my mindset. I had a girl name all set and like you, I was only really looking at girl clothes, accessories, and bedding and it took a day or two to get used to the idea of having a baby boy. Now that he’s here, I couldn’t imagine having a girl right now and I actually want baby #2 in a few years to be a boy because I’m having so much fun with my first boy. Our absolute limit is 3 kids if we decide we can support them all really well financially and I decide I want to go through a third pregnancy and that rough infant stage. If we go for 3 and they’re all boys, or we stop at 2 and they’re both boys, I can honestly say that I’d be OK with it. Like you, I’d miss the mother-daughter bond that I had with my mom and wanted with a daughter of my own, but boys are so wonderful as well and they really love their mamas! I don’t get everyone wishing for baby girls! Both genders are wonderful and as long as the baby is healthy, who cares?

    The only way I would ever consider not finding out the gender would be if we already had a boy and a girl, but if we had one of each, we’d be done unless we got an unplanned surprise πŸ˜› Even then, I think I’d HAVE to know.

  53. Allison B says

    This is such a timely post! I am about 9 days away from delivering our first little one and we don’t know the gender. I can honestly say that it has made it SO much fun to not know! Of course, it drives our families nuts and we just love the comments about “oh, I could never do that because I am too much of a planner.” HA! I am probably the world’s biggest planner – we waited 11 years to have a baby for goodness sakes! I think the baby is a boy and I could not be more excited – to think of how much fun it will be to see my husband teach the baby all of the “boy” stuff makes me so happy. What a gift! Of course, if it is a little girl, I will also be elated – babies are truly a gift and to be celebrated, whether they wear pink or blue!

  54. says

    I’m a boy mom, I’m also a girl mom and I have lost count of how many times someone has learned this and said “the million dollar family”. I don’t disagree, I am definitely the luckiest momma on the planet, but that’s because I have 2 healthy sweet joyful children, and a wonderful husband to share them with, not because of the sex of my children. I had children because I wanted to be a mom, not because I like bows better than trucks or baseball better than ballet!

  55. says

    I’m a single girl with no babies. I long for one day to be married with babies (boys, girls, both, just 1 or the other, it doesn’t matter to me just as long as I get to have them and they’re HEALTHY)!! I can’t imagine people laughing at you because you have boys only, that is crazy to me! My best friend has 2 boys and her MIL says there is no reason to have another baby because it would just be a boy. How sad is that?? It would be another fabulous boy because let me tell you, her kids are so smart and funny and CUTE!!!! I hope you do have another baby and wait till the baby is born to find out the gender, how amazing that would be!!

  56. Karen T says

    Thank you, thank you, thank you! This post speaks exactly what’s been on my mind. I’m the mom of a wild, crazy, energetic, tantrum-prone, sports loving, truck watching, grunting, growling little boy. He is all boy, that’s for sure! All that said, he is sweet, loving, tender and kind and I wouldn’t trade ANY of him for anything in the world. Right around his second birthday, we’ll be welcoming our second child. We do not know the gender as we like to keep the surprise for delivery day. I am stunned by the comments we are getting: “I hope this one’s a girl!” “You need a girl.” “Gosh, he is so busy. A girl will be so much easier.” “A girl may calm that boy down.” and on and on. Anyway, I think there is something incredibly special about the bond between brothers and will be absolutely thrilled to get another little boy! And you are right, what happened to just wanting a healthy baby? We all need to count our blessings. Thank you for this post

  57. Becky says

    Oh my gosh, you are so ME 6 years ago! My first two were boys and I was thrilled with it – brothers just 19 months apart who would grow up to be best friends and each other’s best men at their weddings. Life was great, but of course I dreamed of a girl. I wanted someone to get pedicures with, to help her get through her first heartbreak, to have a day of shopping and lunch at Panera with. Oh, the dreams I had.
    So when my youngest was 2, I tried again for the elusive girl. I would have had an ultrasound, but I didn’t have insurance so had to have minimal prenatal care and a homebirth. Seven days after “she” was due, I consented to picking out a boy name although I knew it was a total waste of time: that was definitely my daughter in there. William showed up 2 days later.
    I grieved. What should have been a very happy time with my beautiful, healthy newborn boy was mired in grief and that remains a regret for me. But I really couldn’t help it – I had spent nine months with a “daughter” and now I knew those nine months with her was all I’d get. Think about that before you decide not to find out the gender with #3. I’m not saying you would experience the same heartache, but if I could do it over again I would have found the money for that ultrasound so that William’s birth would be the purely joyous occasion it should have been.
    And just so he wouldn’t feel like the 3rd wheel, we had another boy (yes, I had an ultrasound this time!) 21 months after he was born. Yes, I do get sad sometimes that I’ll never have a daughter but I am soooo blessed to have 4 healthy sons.

  58. says

    Unfortunately, I think it is just the mindset of “society” to assume most people want one of each, and therefore put “pressure” upon mothers or say inappropriate things about “what’s coming next…etc.”. I have several friends who would love all boys/or all girls, and I have friends who would love both. I think most people in an “ideal/MASH style world” would love one of each. I just found out I was having a little girl…my first child and yes,…I am over the moon excited about it, but at the same exact moment, I was a little sad that it wasn’t a boy. Who can explain that? We all know that it is out of our hands…and I just pray for healthy babies. That’s all that really matters. I have heard from several friends who are girl moms and have the same feelings you do though. I think it works both ways. But, I can say now that I am a mom to be, all I pray for is a healthy baby, who cares after that.

  59. says

    The automatic response of “the 2nd will be the opposite” happened to me too! Someone even told me how sorry they were that I was having another girl. Lots of times I’ve heard the “Why aren’t you going to try for a boy?!” It is like the can not imagine me being happy with my two healthy, wonderful girls. Sometimes people are ridiculous.

  60. Alison says

    Honestly, I think you’re projecting a little because the situation is exactly the same for moms of girls – they get pregnant and every says, “I hope it’s a BOY!” I have a 1 year old daughter and people are already asking when we’ll try for a boy…my father-in-law goes so far as to tell me we should keep having children until we have a boy to “carry on the family name.” Really annoys me…

  61. says

    When I was pregnant, before we found out what we were having, I woke my husband up in the middle of the night to tell him I KNEW the baby was going to be a boy. I was so excited to be having a boy. I just thought of all the fun things we were going to do and how snuggling up with a little boy just seemed like heaven. And it is! He is the best thing in the world and if I ever do have a girl I know it’ll be different but there is just something about little boys that just make your heart melt.

  62. momofallboys says

    I remember feeling exactly like this when my first 2 boys were very small, like yours. We didn’t find out what #3 was during my pregnancy, although in my heart he’d be a boy as well…and he was! I recall being horrified when all 5 of us would be somewhere and people would peek into the infant car seat and say “hope this one is a girl”….with my 5 yr old and 3 yr old standing right there. UGH! Then they’d say “you sure have your hands full” – and not in a positive way. So I learned to say “it’s better than having them empty” and keep moving. I was the girliest girl ever and at first had NO clue about little guys – now I have to call friends to know what to get as bday gifts for the sweet little girls I do have in my life!! I was meant to have these boys and can’t imagine how much poorer my life would be without them. All children should be celebrated as all gifts from God are perfect gifts!

  63. says

    I don’t usually comment but you have spoken my heart’s words. I have had so many hurtful things said to me about having boys and it takes all I have in me to not cry. I LOVE and adore my boys so much and it hurts my heart that people only see that they are boys and not my precious children. People are constantly asking me if we are going to try one more time to have a girl, and I usually respond with “We may try to have another child, but I would never try to simply have a girl.” If we are blessed with another child I have said I would love letting it be a surprise also. I’m not sure if I could go through with it or not but I love the idea of it! I could go on and on about this subject and it really fires me up. I’m so thankful that you posted this so I know that I’m not alone!

  64. says

    I have had very similar experiences. The day I found out I was pregnant (around 5 weeks) I had this OVERWHELMING feeling it was a boy (no clue why and I’d previously thought we’d have a girl first). I was fine with that, but I kept thinking “I don’t know anything about boys.” Sure enough, it was a boy. All we hoped for was healthy, but we were excited about our boy. When we announced the gender, I actually had people say “oh, I’m so sorry you didn’t get a girl.” I was so confused – why were they sorry?

    Now I’m SO thankful for my boy. And if i’m being completely honest, I actually WANT a houseful of boys. Of course, we always pray for their health, but if that was guaranteed, I’d pray for all boys! I still get ‘apologies’ and ‘hopes’ from others that the next one will be a girl and I am still confused as to why everyone feels this way! I absolutely love being a boy mom!

  65. Erin says

    What a sweet post! My MIL is a “boy mom” and as the first daughter-in-law, it is really fun to be the first girl in the family. My husband desperately wants to be a “girl dad” one day, but your perspective is so sweet that it’s swaying my opinion from neutral to the “boy mom” camp!

  66. says

    Hi Erin! I love this post. I have a boy and two girls, and I know exactly what you mean when you say it hurts your feelings when people are always wishing for babies to be girls. I love my girls, but I just don’t get that. My sister just found out that she is pregnant and everyone in our family keeps saying they hope it’s a girl. My oldest, Wesley, is a complete joy and couldn’t imagine our lives without him. As you know, being the Mommy of a boy is an incredible blessing. And I think that trains and trucks are totally underrated! πŸ™‚

  67. says

    i just KNEW that i’d always have a boy first and a little girl second. and along came our little boy in 2009. when i was pregnant this past year, as much as i wanted a little girl, i KNEW it was another boy before we were told. so, boy mom here! and honestly? it’s hard to imagine it any other way. should we have a third, and should the baby be a little girl, i’m not sure that i’ll know what to do with her after having two boys. being a boy mom is completely awesome. they’re just so much fun!

  68. says

    I loved this post, Erin. As you know, I have one girl, so I may not know exactly where you are coming from. When I first became pregnant, people always asked me what I “wanted.” I want a healthy baby! I didn’t care the gender. And I still feel the same way. I’m so excited about not finding out the gender next time around, but again, all I will ever pray for is a healthy baby. Yes, I would love for Julia to have a brother, but if the Lord chooses to bless me with five girls, then so be it. Children are a blessing and we should all thank our lucky stars that we are so fortunate to be parents.

  69. says

    My first was a boy – and to be honest – I wanted a boy with all my heart. I KNEW that my husband would just be a perfect dad to a boy, and the thought of him not getting that was sad to me. Of course, now I’m a mom of boys and a girl, and I love everything about each! I think it’s fun to watch my boys teach my daughter to be rough and stick up for herself, but I also think it’s sweet to watch her teach them to be gentle and loving. That is what I love about having both – but I’ve often thought of what it would be like to be a “boy mom,” and in some ways, I still try to keep true to the things I thought would happen if mine were all boys – I would set an example by showing them that we should spend equal time with both sets of grandparents, not always demand that we go to my parents’ on the Holidays, and make sure to develop caring, loving, kind hearts in them. I think that most “boy moms” think about the future and the relationship that they long to have with their daughter, and if we set an example now by including our in-laws just as much as we include our own parents it will (hopefully) lay the groundwork for our relationships with their families as they (and we) older! Just because I have a little girl doesn’t mean that her family will one day be my sole focus and I’ll let them run off to another family! These boys have my heart!

  70. Laura says

    My Dad has 2 daughters and I have never felt that he has wanted for a son. My sister and I do all the things with him that a son would anyway…sports, hunting, working in the yard, etc and we still have girl time with our Mom too. I don’t feel a difference even now that my Dad has a son-in-law. He has always loved his girls!
    And don’t forget that one day you will have daughter-in-laws…mine is like a second Mom to me! You won’t miss out on that mother-daughter relationship even if they aren’t your daughters by blood!

  71. says

    You are so right! I can honestly tell you that after having 4 girls and a boy we got our share of comments. If one more person said oh,” you must be trying for that boy? “my sweet little girls’ faces would just melt and I would quickly defend that,” we treasure our girls”. We never “tried for any gender. God has had a plan for us long before we were a spec in the universe. I completely trust His plan. I am so grateful for His plan. He has blessed our family ten fold.

  72. MED says

    Do not ever feel discouraged not to have a girl. My future mother-in-law has told me many, many times that I am the daughter she never had. My middle name is even the name she always wanted for her daughter! We share such a special bond that even me and my own mother do not share. I feel this is in part, because she always had the yearning to dote on a daughter. And yes, we do call each other just to gab! Your time will come.

  73. says

    I love this post! When we found out we were having a boy I felt scared and wondered how in the world I was going to be a boy mom, M on the other hand was thrilled at the thought of me not spending thousands on shoes and bows! Shopping for boys is so much harder, there section at stores is almost always smaller than the girls and like you said all the stuff has writing on it. I wouldn’t change having a boy for anything in the world! My mom once told me that girls become your bestfriend after it is all said and done but boys will love you forever no matter what. Hudson is so sweet to me and it just melts my heart every time he gives me a hug or kiss out of the blue!

  74. Melanie says

    Hi There!

    Been following you for awhile and just had to comment on this post. I’m what you’d call a ‘girl mom’. Two girls, 20. 5 months apart, who are now 9 and 11. I had the reverse experience of yours. My mom was calling our second child by the boys name we had picked out just hours before she was born. In fact while waiting for our C-section I insisted that we nail down a girl’s name just in case. But God knew that we needed these two girls to parent and they needed my husband and I to be their parents, just like you guys need Hudson and Hayes and …? πŸ™‚ to parent and they need you to be their parents. I am so thrilled that my girls have a sister, just as I’m sure you’re delighted that the boys have a brother and it has been a delight to watch them grow (aside from the bickering). We all need strong, whole, flourishing families for our girls and boys to grow and thrive in. It’s wonderful to see how you’ve embraced your family!

    Blessings, Melanie

  75. says

    What a great post!! I have always dreamed of having a little girl and the relationship that we would have. My fiance’s family is ALL boys so they often tell me to get ready for a boy and my dreams of having a little girl are over. At first it bothered me but I have realized that I will be just as happy with a one little boy or even 3 boys. I now pray God will just give me healthy babies. Thanks for writing this and giving such encouraging words. Of course, no baby yet but your post are post that I will save and read for the right time when I need that encouragement.

  76. says

    I wanted to share that my husband was always very close to his mom. Even after we were married a few years, he would call her every week at least once, they always had fun together in the kitchen, and he often remarks that he felt closer to his mom than his dad. I come from a family of all girls so I just didn’t picture that sons would have the same kind of relationship with their moms as I did, but it really wasn’t so different. He still sought her advice and friendship, and the closeness was still as strong as any mother daughter bond I have seen. I think if you establish a loving relationship with your boys, it will carry over forever. I really enjoyed reading this!

  77. says

    Well I have to say that when you said it hurts your feelings when people shout “Oh I hope it’s a girl” that I have so felt the very same way so many times. It drives me nuts!!! I never had a preference, (I always *assumed* I’d have girls just because I’m a girly girl) but I just prayed I’d be blessed to be a mom and have healthy babies. I have 2 boys now and can’t imagine life any other way! I’d frankly love a 3rd, ha! You really do learn quickly how to get dirty and laugh about the crazy wild grody little things they do– and there’s just no greater blessing than having a house full of little boys. Hooray for ALL moms:)

  78. says

    You are so right! Nothing wrong with being a boy mom. I actually like little boy’s clothes better than the girl’s clothes. But, I do want to have a little girl someday. Actually, I want a boy and a girl. But, if not, that is how God planned it. πŸ™‚

  79. says

    I am so in love with this post. I have 1 son, no daughters and that is a-okay with me. Would I love a little girl to do all those “daughter bonding things” with? Oh yeah. But I cannot imagine my life even differently. What really gets me is when people say—“don’t you want to go ahead and try for a girl? you know he needs a sister? you’ll get the girl next time. oh, could you imagine how gorgeous a girl would be? maybe the next one will be a girl.” ARGH, all of that drives me insane even though I know everyone means well. I even had one say, “be thankful you got a boy, boys just love their mamas.” Okay, does that mean that girls don’t love their mamas? I always try to chalk these things up to one of the people talk before they really think categories. There’s my rant, you articulated your thoughts much nicer than I πŸ™‚ But once again, it is nice to know we aren’t alone out there in the “boy mama” world. hehe

  80. says

    I have three daughters. Believe me, I have felt the exact reverse of this. When we found out Catherine Grace, our youngest, was a girl, so many people said, “Aww. Well, you could try for a 4th.” Things of that nature. While there WAS a part of me that longed to have a boy (because let’s face it, boys think their Mommy is the single best thing and “queen”), I was so glad to have another girl. So, I feel your “pain” completely, just from the other end of the spectrum! πŸ™‚

    Also, I believe that boys and Moms always have a special bond that nothing can replace. And…a LOOOONG time from now…there are always granddaughters! πŸ™‚ (That’s what my husband say’s about having no boys. He’s going to get a family full of grandsons some day!)

  81. says

    I get comments the other way. The worst was when an older woman mistakenly thought Lucy was a boy (I did have her dressed in blue). She said “Oh wonderful. You have a little girl AND a little boy. Your family is complete.” My heart sunk right then and there. My family is complete with TWO little girls! We don’t need a son to complete it. If we try for another baby on down the road it will be because we love our 2 children so much. We could careless if the next child is a boy or girl. Hubby got it the worst though. Everyone thought he was disappointed with another girl. When the truth is he couldn’t be happier. He loves his little girls, but people kept saying “Don’t worry. The next one will be a boy.”

    Also, I have to admit it is pretty wonderful to think about the relationship I will have with my little girls when they are grown. Mostly because my mom died when I was in high school so I miss that. But I have the most awesome relationship with my MIL. I’m pretty sure it is so close to what my relationship with my own mother would have been. We gab on the phone a lot!! She was very involved with wedding planning, baby planning, etc. So pray for those future DILs and pray for awesome relationships with them! Those relationships can be just as sweet =)

  82. jennifer says

    I, too, am a mom to two boys (3 & 4…soon to be 3 & 5). Sure, they wear me out with their amazing energy and constant motion, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world. And to be honest, I can’t remember if I ever desired to have a girl? Maybe when I was twelve? Having a healthy baby was most important in my book. During both pregnancies, we got a lot of “hopes/ wishes” for a girl from our friends and family. But since we were being “surprised” at the births, most everyone was just happy to meet the baby boys.

    I secretly believe that moms of boys are very special ladies. And I don’t believe that everyone is cut out for the job. That’s kind of mean, right?

    And most (93%) of boy’s clothing is just awful. I once called Target to complain about the lack of styles of those Robeez-type shoes for boys. I counted 9 styles for girls and 2 for boys. The gal on the other end of the line was appalled, but I’m sue it’s still the same 4 years later.

  83. Beth says

    Thank you for writing this. I am a boy mom (and, like you, always envisioned having a girl and was disappointed for a minute or two when the ultrasound tech said definitely boy). I absolutely hate it when people say to a pregnant mom of 2 or 3 boys, “well, guess you’re trying for that girl! or Know you are hoping for a girl,” as though it would be inconceivable to want another boy. I really appreciate your comments and post.

  84. Lydia says

    WOW! I am a mommy to two boys that are around the same age as your boys. Josiah is 2 and Aiden is about 3 months. I would never ever trade having my two boys at all and I thank God every day for them. I have to admit that when I saw that Aiden was a boy in an ultrasound … I cried because I wanted a girl. Isn’t that horrible? I was so ashamed that I cried about that that I ended up crying more about because I was ashamed that I wasn’t just happy he was healthy lol. I wonder if it is partly because of the intense pressure that is placed on mothers to have both genders… THANK YOU for posting this because I have often thought these exact thoughts as I see both of my boys grow up. You have given me encouragement that it is okay to sometimes think these thoughts and it has increased my joy about being a boy mom. πŸ™‚

  85. nicole says

    you summed it up perfectly!!! I am a mom to 4 boys!! ages 8,7,15 mos and newborn and I have experienced the” pressure” and comments etc..for my last 3 pregnancy’s so much to the point that It felt like it was taking away from my hapiness and exitement and I started constantly defending myself. I too feel the loss of a mom/daughter bond especially since I lost my own mom 2 yrs ago….but I am happy and thankful for 4 healthy,sweet,smart beauiful boys!!!:) thanks for sharing and having the courage to do so!

  86. says

    You took the words right out of my head. I have one boy, but feel the next will be a boy too. I am one of two girls. But now, I couldn’t imagine it any other way. I really cant say it any better that you already did!

  87. says

    I’m coming out of lurker-land because this post really spoke to me. I, too, am the mom of 2 little boys (ages 2 and 4) and I could completely relate to everything you said. One thing that being a “boy mom” has given me is a new appreciation for my mother-in-law. I may never have a daughter to share some of those special memories but I can pray for my future daughter-in-laws and my relationship with them. Be encouraged to know that you are not alone! We have a great responsibility to raise up godly young men and it’s something I feel honored and called to do. Blessings to you and those two cute little boys of yours!

  88. Marie says

    I’m a mom to a boy(5.5) and girl(1.5) and my bond with my son is so special. I think it is how my husband feels with the bond with our daughter. Our son is high energy, into sports, running, yelling, screaming, you name it. I have gotten the “oh you have the perfect family” comments before b/c we have a son and daughter. i think we are perfect b/c our children are both healthy and happy. Not because of what gender they are. Our son was a 30 week preemie and when we got pregnant again we got lots of “are you hoping for a girl?” No we were hoping for a healthy full-term baby:)

  89. says

    I am going through this RIGHT NOW. I have two sweet boys and am expecting a third baby and we have decided not to find out the gender. I actually just wrote a post about the same thing. I had so much anxiety over gender, then realized the anxiety was actually about TELLING the gender. It’s a huge weight lifted to not know and just rejoice over the blessing we’ve been given. It is hard not to have hurt feelings on behalf of my boys, especially my 2nd son, when I hear all the comments about hoping it’s a girl, as if a boy is “less-than.” I know others don’t intentionally try to be hurtful, but it is. Love this post.

  90. MK says

    I just wanted to weigh in on this because it spoke to me. I’m not a mama, yet, but I’ve always had a suspicion that I’d have daughters. Just because of this, I’m convinced that I’ll have a boy! And your post made me feel really okay about that. Honestly, when I look at the relationship that my Love has with his mother, my heart aches for a son one day. Boys are SO CLOSE to their mamas and I find that the bond only strengthens are they age. I don’t plan on finding out the gender of my babies before their birth but I can say with confidence that no matter what, I’ll be over the moon with incredible joy that they’re MINE and hope for their health, happiness and fabulousness above all.

    As far as weddings and grandbabies are concerned, chances are that Hudson and Hayes will have lovely partners who will be desperate to have your advice, help and support. I know that I’ll be relying heavily on both my Mum and my mother-in-law throughout all stages and want both of them to be a part of all these amazing events.

    Thanks for the post, it was an especially terrific one

  91. says

    We found out ahead of time with both (1st is a girl, second was a boy) and I couldn’t believe it when the sonographer at the obgyn office told me that 19 out of 20 couples in there are HOPING to have a BOY and if she tells them it’s a girl, they get all upset. I mean, a baby is a BLESSING beyond WORDS. I don’t get it. There are certain things like you said above that you would miss, not having a daughter, but there are lots of things you won’t miss (i.e. TEEN YEARS!!! that I’m already dreading b/c I know it’ll be payback for me!). Again, I completely agree. Children are such wonderful blessings from above. Period.

  92. says

    I am a boy mom. And it is what I selfishly prayed for. In fact, I would have a third if I could be sure I would have another boy. I know I have probably hurt the feelings of girl moms with comments just like other moms have said to you. As moms, I guess we should remember these things.

  93. kemper says

    Long time reader, first time commenter. I have 3 young sons all 5 and under. We tried to have a baby for years and when I finally got preggo after many fertility treatments I immediately knew it was a boy…and it was. When it was time to add to our family again through fertility treatments I used to wish for a girl, only b/c everyone around me kept telling me that is what I should want. When we got the biggest surprise of our lives and became preggo naturally I was immediately conflicted. I knew as soon as we told people and they found out I was preggo naturally they would naturally assume we would have a girl as our wonderful surprise. I had been listening to my mommy insticts though and knew it was another boy. So we became those people that find out the gender and dont tell anyone except we told people only one of us knew the gender (for coming home outfit purposes) so they wouldn’t know which one of us to hound. When our surprise was born he was very sick and by the time he got to come home no one cared wether he was a boy or a girl. Now we have always wanted 4 children and I am reluctant to have another b/c of the comments I get when all 3 boys are with me. People are simply rude about it and act like it’s their business. I for one love all my boys, they are well behaved and polite. Now, I just need to donate all those baby girl clothes I secretly hoard in my basement.

  94. says

    When I first got pregnant I just knew in my heart that it was a girl. I couldn’t picture anything else. When my friend did an ultrasound and announced boy I kept thinking it might have been the umbilical cord. After the doctor did an ultrasound and declared boy I still had to let it sink in. I was just so unsure of what to do with a boy. No dance classes or barbie dolls? How am I going to bond with him? Now at 33 weeks I am so thrilled to be having a boy. God knows what he is doing.

  95. says

    Great post. I also have two boys (including a Hudson:)) and honestly wouldn’t change it in a heartbeat. I grew up with two sisters and a brother and cherish the relationships with all of my sibs, but it has been so incredibly wonderful to watch the bond my boys already share at age 1 and 4. I may/may not have a daughter someday but I figure if I don’t, I will hopefully get at least a daughter in law! And by golly I will be a great Mother-in-law:). I came across this on a blog once and really loved it.

    I Never Imagined Coming Home to Blue Balloons

    I never imagined coming home to blue balloons.
    I imagined lace, ruffles and frilly things.
    I imagined pink.

    I never imagined being asked to make up songs about race cars…crashing.
    I imagined hair bows, dresses and patent leather shoes.
    I imagined tea parties.

    I never imagined using words like β€œcoupling, shunting or buffers”…
    Or knowing the name of every Thomas train…
    Or the difference between a diesel streamliner and a diesel switcher.

    I never imagined a backyard filled with wheelbarrows, trucks and bulldozers…
    Or books filled with airplanes, demolition machines and spaceships…
    Or shouts of β€œ5-4-3-2-1…BLASTOFF!”

    I never imagined loving little worn-out Chuck Taylor hightop sneakers…
    Or camouflage cargo shorts..
    Or ballcaps.

    I never imagined waking up each morning to a kiss from tiny, sticky lips…
    Or the joy at hearing the words β€œI Love You Mama”…
    …35 times each day.

    I never imagined being crowned princess…
    …by a little boy…
    …over bowls of rice krispies.

    I know now I never imagined because of the impossibility of imagining perfection.

    I never imagined coming home to Blue Balloons.
    Now I can’t imagine anything else.
    I can’t imagine that I ever imagined anything else.

  96. Beka Sanderson says

    Loved this post. I’m a mother of three amazing, energetic boys and expecting a fourth (we haven’t found out yet). With my third, I had people outright tell me “I hope it’s a girl” and I couldn’t put my finger on why it bothered me so much. Finally I figured out that it was almost like they would be disappointed if it turned out I was having a boy. And sure enough, when I announced it was a boy, it was like people just dismissed him and started hoping for number four to be a girl.

    I also sometimes think about the mother/daughter bond and what I might miss out on someday, but I couldn’t even think about trading in any of my boys for a girl. I’m just out of my mind grateful for the healthy babies I’ve been given. πŸ™‚

  97. Jennifer says

    I have 3 boys, and what you wrote about how you assumed your 1st was a girl and you knew your #2 was a boy was me EXACTLY. All it took was having #1 to fall head over heels for everything boy.

    I wanted to tell you about the comment I endured so often when I was pregnant with my 2nd and 3rd boys and beyond …

    “ARE YOU GOING TO TRY AGAIN FOR A GIRL?” Of which, this may seem rude, but I always respond … NONE of my boys are failed attempts for girls.

    My boys are 5, 8, and 10 now. I guess people assume we are done now b/c of my age, and I am questioned less and less. But, for a long, long time it was relentless.

  98. says

    LOVE IT! So true! From one boy-Momma to another, we are proud of our little men! Thanks for the inspiration to write-out my own thoughts about being a Boy Mom!

  99. Erin says

    I’m a boy mom and your sentiments are mine exactly! I am due to have baby #3 in 6 weeks (the sex will be a surprise) and I feel the pressure that this one be a girl but personally, I will be perfectly content with a healthy, laid back baby. πŸ™‚ For some reason, if you don’t have at least one child of each gender, there is the perception that your family isn’t “complete”. I never pictured myself the mother of two (or three) boys but now I can’t imagine it any other way.

  100. SarahK says

    I enjoyed this post. It really made me think. I am a Daddy’s girl and always had a very difficult relationship with my mother. I never thought about it until I read your post, but perhaps for that reason I was extremely happy and (dare I say) relieved when I found out my son was a boy. I am currently pregnant and all I want is a healthy baby, but to be honest I worry over whether this one will be a girl and I won’t know how to parent a girl.

    Society’s expectations for girls can be stifling. If I have a girl, I want her to feel like she can do anything and be anything she wants to be. But I worry about how I’ll do this when society is telling her that above all she needs to be pretty, love pink, and be “sweet.”

  101. Libby says

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for putting into words what has been on my heart since the day we found out our 2nd child was a boy as well. I actually hesitated telling some people because I got that “ohh well you will just have to try for a 3rd!” reaction multiple times. I felt the need to defend my precious unborn child simply because he was a boy! I do desire the mother/daughter relationship, and maybe someday that will come. But if not, I am so thankful as the mother/son relationship is so special itself. And I must agree…somebody needs to do something about little boy clothing options! πŸ™‚

    Also, we kept the gender a suprise for our fist pregnancy…there really is nothing like not knowing until they are there in your arms! πŸ™‚

  102. says

    I’m the mom of 3 girls, so I might not be welcome in this discussion (kidding), but I get the same reaction but backwards. The, “Aw, are you gonna try for a boy?” As if I messed up the first three by having the wrong gender. I think people just think that happiness is having one of each… but God gives us what we need… and I’m thankful for that because He obviously knows better than me!

  103. says

    Erin, great post. I have 2 girls and when I was pregnant with #3 everyone was rooting for a boy saying things like “oh your husband really wants that boy I bet!”. I would just nod. After all the fertility issues, etc. it really wasn’t a thought. I mean, it is what it is and you can’t change it, obviously. They’re people, not a sweater or some other object. Well, #3 did end up being a boy and people kept saying the same things. I just keep nodding…

  104. Chelsea says

    I got a girl first and I was praying hard for a boy; I got him the second time. Girls and boys are so different to raise, but I can’t imagine not having a son. I love both my children, but the bond with a boy and his mama is so different from a girl. If I had a third blessing I think I would want another boy.

  105. says

    I was convinced my son was a girl until we found out. I thought I would be upset but I was SO happy. He is now one and I love having a boy. If we have another I hope it’s a boy.

  106. Jess says

    And even if you have all boys, you never know, they might marry a wonderful woman who looks at you like her own mother. You will have an opportunity to have a special relationship with her and be a part of all the planning.

  107. michelle Lindsey says

    I always wanted a boy! I have three girls and everyone feels sorry for me too. They say oh your poor husband. What about me I have three daddy girls I wanted a mama’s boy. So I don’t think other people are ever happy with what you get. I am happy to have three girls my husband too. He likes all one sex, he is one of 4 boys. Makes them closer.

  108. Nicole says

    Loved this post! As a “boy Mom” (with boy number two on the way!), and my sister being a fellow “boy Mom” (two boys as well!), it’s great to see posts like this. It definitely rings true in my life!

  109. Carrie says

    My SIL always talks about how she wants a girl because girls can do both the girly stuff and they can play sports. After we told her that we’re expecting she brought this up again and I told her, “Even if you do get a girl, there’s no guarantee that she’ll want to play sports and do all the things you want her to do.” Same goes with men wanting sons that will play sports, or mom envisioning planning a wedding with their daughter. Your son may never want to play sports, your daughter may never want to get married. If you’re blessed with children, and your children are blessed with health, you are blessed.

  110. says

    You’ve obviously “spoken” to many of us today with your post. I’m glad to know I’m not the only boy mom who’s first thought was “oh, really, it’s a boy?” I was sure I was having a girl. I mean every fiber of my being new it was a girl. But 6 nurses agreed, it was a boy. And while I still get sad that I don’t get to buy bows and dresses, or chat about the day she’d {hopefully} pledge Chi O and learn all of the secrets my mom and I share. I love seeing my son and the way he reminds me of his Dad already. I can’t wait to see him grow up. In fact, I’ve decided having a boy is just what I needed in life πŸ™‚ Being a boy mom isn’t nearly as awful as girl moms make it out to be!

  111. says

    Oh my gosh! You said it perfectly! When we found out that our long prayed-for 2nd son was a boy, it annoyed me to no end that people would ask if I was disappointed he wasn’t a girl. Are you kidding me? All I wanted was a healthy baby! It’s human nature I know, but still!!! I never “wanted” a girl. I have been thrilled to have 2 boys! I love them! The only thing that makes me sad is to know that girls do usually spend more times with their moms as adults than boys do. But I am praying that God sends a perfect wife to both of my boys that will love me and want to spend time with me as well. That is the only thing about having 2 boys that makes me sad. It’s for the future, not for the present. God cares about all of the details, so I pray for this a lot! I love my mother-in-law, and we do see her a good bit. But we do see my mom more:)

  112. sparrowsandsparkle says

    What precious pictures! Being a mom is such an incredible blessing – whether boys or girls. I remember when I was pregnant with my second (a girl, same as my first) someone said – “Well, maybe next time you’ll get a boy” and I was so shocked – what a horrible thing to say. I was so thrilled with my second little girl. When I found out my third would be a boy I felt kind of like you… what in the world do I do with a boy?! I just assumed we would be having three girls. Now I feel so lucky. Little boys are amazing – they do love their mamas! I’m so grateful for the opportunity to be a “boy mom” too! xo

  113. says

    Oh, I forgot this when was typing above. When we had our ultrasound for boy #2, the ultrasound girl knew that my husband REALLY wanted a girl. So, when my husband and I both vividly saw the “boy parts” on the screen, we said, “Is that what we think it is.” Her reply was, “Well, you can look forward to having granddaughters one day.” That was the perfect response!!! Not, oh, sorry you aren’t having a girl. She knew that he was our caboose, and she came up with a very fitting response:)

  114. says

    I love this. I love how open and honest you are with us. I love your little boys and that you’re sharing them with us. I can just imagine them as little men, and how wonderful they will be because they were raised by amazing people like you and Todd.

    I sometimes wish I wasn’t a “food” blogger so I could write really personal things like this. My post would be more along the lines of “Holy sh*t, it just occurred to me that I might never get to be a Mom and I think I’m ok with it… but I think I’m also not ok with it and I know I can’t MAKE someone marry me and make me a wife and mother and it seems like the only thing I have no control over in my life right now.” But if I wrote that post, I wouldn’t be seen as brave, or as honest or as inspirational. People would just think I was sad and pathetic. And I’m not either one of those things. I have a very lovely life.

    Sorry I just had a therapy session with myself on your blog.


  115. says

    Erin! I LOVED THIS POST! I am a first time mommy to my precious 4 month old baby boy. We didn’t find out the gender before he was born. It was the BEST surprise of my life and I would recommend it to anyone! I definitely plan to do it again if we are blessed with more children someday! I was really amazed by what some people would say to me before he was born. I would hear things like, “I’m praying it’s a girl for you!” or “It’s okay if it’s a boy because it’s your first one and you still have another chance.” I thought these things were strange at the time, but now that I have a boy, those comments really hurt my feelings! I absolutely love being a boy mom. There is something really special about a mommy/son relationship. I can already feel it even though he’s just four months old! πŸ™‚ I tell my husband all the time how fun I think it would be to have four boys! Thanks for putting my thoughts into words. Also, I totally agree with you about the writing that is all over boy clothes these days! It’s one of my biggest pet peeves! My mom and I have decided that dressing baby boys can be just as much fun as girls, but we just have to search a little harder to find what we want!

  116. Kathryn says

    It was like you went into my head and read my exact thoughts! I have 2 boys as well. Hearing ” Oh, I’m sorry” or “That sucks” when I announced I was having another boy drove me mad. Really? Why are you sorry? It’s a baby! I can handle the breastfeeding vs. formula/ working mom vs. sahm debates but this is my biggest pet peeve. Thank you for this!

  117. says

    Thank you!!! Well said Erin. My little boy is only three months old but I can’t tell you how many people ask me if I was disappointed he wasn’t a girl. It’s sad really. Would I like to have a little girl someday? Yes. Am I disappointed I have a boy? NO!!! He is the sweetest, happiest child. I love him so much and can’t imagine my life without him. When I was pregnant, everyone kept telling me “you’re having a girl, I just know it.” Most were surprised when I announced i was having my little man but I knew in my gut I was having a boy. I felt it from the start.

    I really don’t like boys clothing selections though. It’s awful. Us boy moms need more choices people!!!!! What if I don’t want animals/skulls/writing all over my child’s clothes?

  118. says

    Such a great post. I really struggled with adopting a girl because I love being the mom of a boy so much. But in the end, I realized that no matter what we decided we would be complete. I love, love, love having a boy, and I know I’ll love having a girl. But I hate that boys are always the consolation prize and girls are the gold medal. I hate when people say they “couldn’t handle a boy”. I don’t think most people understand how awesome little boys are.

  119. Mandy says

    I am a boy mom of two boys also! (6 1/2 and 2 1/2) I, like you, always wanted a little girl to paint fingernails and toenails, to wear big hair bows and to have a great relationship with me…like I do with my mom. As soon as I found out I was pregnant with my oldest son, Carson, I knew it was a boy! And for some strange reason, I was perfectly fine with it! My mom and my grandma were both disappointed that it was a boy. (I am an only child, my mom is the only girl of 3 and the baby at that.) They quickly got over the disappointment after seeing that I was thrilled.
    When I found out I was pregnant with number 2, Owen, I had a little chat with them! I informed them that I felt, like you, it was another boy…I was once again perfectly fine with that! I knew this was definitely my last pregnancy and I was at peace with having another precious boy! I honestly do not know what in the world I would do with a little girl now! I love my boys and pretty much everything about them:)
    Just wait until Hudson is 6 1/2…check out the clothing choices for that age!!! Horrible!! And unfortunately, attitude comes with it:(
    I love being a “boys mom” and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

  120. crewlade drinka says

    As a mom of 2 boys, 3 and 3mo, I know exactly what it feels like to have everyone assure you – next will be a girl! I felt the same as you when I found out the gender of my first but I think it is b/c we ARE girls that we naturally are more familiar with what baby girls entail. I adore my little “bubs” so much, I could never imagine if they had been girls now, in fact, I actually feel opposite in that- what do I do with a girl? (besides dress her up, of course!) (I bet thats what’s going on with jgarner) We had so much difficulty concieving my second baby and when we found out he was boy, it was just the most wonderful tearful news. I just told everyone, no we didn’t want a girl- just a healthy baby, which I truly meant. I think sometimes people say those things just to have something to say (I might be guilty of this before having kids).

    before knowing the gender of #1, I also would drool over all the baby girl clothes and was seriously irritated at the ugliness available for purchase for my precious baby boy. I had to just avert my eyes from the girls section to get over this. I am having a much easier time finding cute things for #2 (born in a different season, so all new clothes!) simply b/c I know where to look now. However, my 3 yr old (size 4 or 5t) is a different story- why do they think we want to dress our preschool boys in all that edgy punk yuckiness??? I prefer clean and preppy or, at least, just boyish but even that is hard to find. I suppose I am just too traditional or maybe its b/c I am southern. I could go on (as I already have! so I will stop now!)

  121. says

    Love this. I don’t have kids. At least not yet. I’m a newlywed that’s married to a law student and a grad student myself. We both have 2 more years in our programs, so our plan is to wait until we graduate, but then starting our family. And I, unlike most girls it seems, I hope for boys. Yes, I will love any child that God decides I’m allowed to take care of, but girls scare me. I have always had more of a connection to boys, and I feel like I could understand them more. I feel like I’m now just the opposite version of the people you have encountered, but I love the idea of being a “boy mom”. Frills don’t get me. Soccer games and mud pies melt my heart.

    And thank you, as always, being honest about being a mom. Makes me look forward to the future and realize that there will be mistakes along the way and that i won’t be the only one trying to figure it all out. I certainly hope you’re still blogging in two years because I will need your help!

  122. says

    I love this post today!
    When I was pregnant with my first and second, we didn’t find out what we were having, but just “knew” both times that we were having boys…so much in fact that I had already decorated the nurseries for a boy. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with a boy…I had 2 sisters after all, and nannied for a family for 3 years that also had 3 girls. I had never even babysat a boy before having my own.
    I love being a mom to my boys….and when we were pregnant with Addison everyone kept telling me that “you finally got your girl” and it always hurt my feelings. My boys are so sweet and fun, and I remind myself daily that we are raising them to be some sweet little girl’s husband one day. We try to teach them about being leaders in their homes, as that will be their role in the future. After being a “boy mom” for almost 9 years now…I can’t imagine it any other way. It has been so fun to watch them grow and become young men.
    Enjoy every minute with your boys….they love their moms so much!

  123. says

    Thanks for sharing. I am a boy mom. I have a three year old named Hudson and we are expecting another boy in December. When we found out this was a boy I cried. Deep down I was hoping for a girl and we had a miscarriage in November 2010 and I have always felt that was our girl. I don’t know that I was so much disappointed that this was boy but that I was sad for the little girl that I may not ever have. I am glad that I am not alone in my feelings. Your blog is an inspiration to me. I needed this today! As my wild man is playing with trains and blocks and screaming at the top of his lungs:)

  124. Angela says

    I relate with this post sooooo very much! I am a boy mom – although I only have one boy, I felt the very same way when I was pregnant with Kason. We are currently ttc #2 and I have to say I am hoping it is another boy…..I would love a best friend and playmate for my little guy. BUT I also want a girl and that mother/daughter relationship…..I had a sister growing up and I also knew nothing about boys but I have found I adjusted well. I keep having a dream that I have 4 boys, so if Baby #2 and #3 are boys – I think I am done there πŸ™‚ At the end of the day I just want happy and healthy babies and whatever gender – it doesn’t matter!

  125. Julie says

    I think when people say that they hope you have a girl, it’s not because girls are so great as much as it is that they want you to have one of each b/c that’s the fairy tale ideal for most people.1 boy. 1 girl. Family of 4. But I have 2 girls and a boy, and I love having a boy. Our relationship is very different than it is with my daughters. I feel pressure and responsibility to teach my girls how to be women one day. I try not to criticize my body in front of them because what if they end up being built like me. I try to be lady-like so that they’ll know what that’s like. I want to be a good mom because one day (Lord-willing) they’ll be moms and I’ll be the example that they either follow or don’t. It’s incredible pressure and I’m sure we’ll butt heads more than I will with my son. I’m sure you feel pressure too with your boys. I’m not saying boys are easier by any means, but I do feel like I can just genuinely love on Jack and hug him and let him cry when my husband might tell him to toughen up. The responsibility of teaching him to be a man is my husband’s. My job is to nurture and love. And I love that about boys and moms.

  126. Sara says

    Love this post! Thank you! I am a boy mom and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I can’t imagine my life being any other way!

  127. Julie says

    Oh Erin, my girlfriend has two older boys and they are her world. When she found out I was pregnant with my second, she was asking me what I was wishing for. When my baby girl was born (we waited to find out), I knew in my heart she was a girl from all the dreams God placed in my head at night. For months I would be holding a little girl in my dreams and speaking sweet lullabies to her. I was scared about it in case she was a girl because I am a tomboy to the core and I know my husband wanted a boy. I fish. I camp. I shoot guns. I hate makeup. I love the dirt. I knew nothing of skirts, and bows, and dress up shoes. Then she came out and the world changed. I am so thankful that God blessed me with her and not a boy like I prayed for. Fast forward 8 months and I am pregnant again. In my dreams the other night, God told me that it is a boy. We are going to wait again with this pregnancy because I honestly can say it was the best feeling ever when you don’t know. I am waiting again because I don’t think I can take 20 weeks of disappointment if it is another girl. I always thought I would be a Boy Mom like you, but know that just having my children is a blessing. If God wants me to be a tomboy mom of two girls, he knows better than me. By the way, my friend is pregnant again unexpectedly, and I know she is praying for that girl. I have a feeling, if you at TC decided to have three children, God will give you want he knows you can handle. You are an amazing Boy Mom, and I look to your blog daily because you inspire me to be a loving, Christian wife and mother. Keep letting things like this off your chest!

  128. says

    From one boy loving momma to another….I CAN TOTALLY RELATE! I think people were WAY more upset than normal when I announced that baby #3 was indeed ANOTHER boy! GASP! Haha! I also felt like I just “knew” that I would have another boy and a part of me was (like you said, mourning the loss of the future relationship I would never have with a daughter) but HAPPY as heck to add another boy to our family! Boys rock my world! Thanks for posting this! πŸ™‚

  129. says

    After growing up with 2 sisters so 3x the sororities, weddings, dance recitals, and cheerleading I wanted a boy so much (along with the rest of the family). Not to mention I was a cheer sponsor for 5 years and taught middle school girls. People who wish for girls have no idea how mean and sassy 13 year old girls can be. I had had enough of girls so thankfully I had a boy and want a 2nd boy so much when I have a 2nd child, lord willing, that if I have a girl I honestly might cry from disappointment. Yes, I said that in writing but it is what it is. Sometimes I do get sad thinking about when boys they get married and leave, but I’m just praying I will have a daughter in law who will want to think of me as a 2nd mother and we get along great. Several of my friends have that relationship with their mother- in- laws. I think its great.

  130. says

    I’ve never said anything negative to a friend about expecting a boy because I want one myself, but so often people don’t realize what they say is hurtful. I’ve found a lot of the stories written by moms (and preggos!) really helpful advice as to etiquette as well as preparing to handle negativity with poise. And lord knows girls bring their share of headaches along with the sugar and spice!

  131. says

    Boys are rad! No expensive dance classes or recital costumes. No playground drama. My friend’s daughter who is 6, had little girls telling her last year, “You are not my friend anymore, etc.” So much less drama. But boys are so physical. I swear my goal in life is to actually tire out my son.

  132. Jennifer W says

    When I was pregnant with my son, I thought it was a girl, just like you. When we found out it was a boy everything I had imagined (pink, princesses, dolls, pink, flowers, pink…) turned to blue (the color not depression!), trucks, blues, browns, trains and planes. I LOVE being the mommy to a boy, he’s so sweet, and thoughtful and who can turn down the “paly trains mommy”. If there is a second child I will be happy with boy or girl. I know so many people struggling to concieve now. I think that next time I might even wait until the delivery to find out what gender the baby is!!

  133. Sarah S. says

    I just started reading your blog and it must have been meant to be. I’m a Mom to two boys (ages 3 and 1) and no joke, a total stranger came up to me at McDonald’s and said – well maybe your next one will be a girl. I’ll never understand this reasoning because I love my little boys. They are crazy and full of energy but they melt my heart. I can’t lie, I would love a girl at some point but if I had more boys, I think my heart would still be pretty full.

  134. says

    I love this post and I just love your outlook on so many things in life! You always try to look for the positive in everything and I truly admire that. I personally think you are so incredibly lucky to have your two adorable boys (not that you need to hear that from me!). Perhaps I’m weird but I actually hope to have boys when we have children one day. I’m actually pretty terrified to have a girl. I think it comes from having such a close relationship to my younger brother growing up. I never had sisters so I guess I just feel like I have a better grasp of how little boys are. Also, if our future girl is anything like me, she would be quite the handful so I’d much rather have a mini version of my husband running around! I hope you and your boys are having a great day πŸ™‚

  135. says

    I think about this all the time! I only have one little baby boy (who I adore), but I do think about this topic a lot. Especially when thinking about #2!

  136. says

    I feel the same way! I have two little boys and I honestly felt like I had no idea what to do with a boy when I first got pregnant. I am one of 3 girls! But being a “boy mom” is the best. I love it. People always seem to feel sorry for me because I have boys. They are always telling me I have to try for a girl. But I am happy with my boys. Yes, my heart yearns for that someday relationship I have with my mom. But I have to say I am really happy with my little guys! This was really a great post, thanks for sharing!

  137. says

    As the mom of one girl with another baby one the way, we’re getting alot of comments too. I hear, “Now you need a boy,” or “This will be a boy and you’ll be done.” I think people just don’t know how to be quiet. Our prayer is always for a healthy baby, but I did want a girl the first time. Now, I feel myself hoping for a boy just as much. We’ll be thrilled with another girl, but this girl mom would like to experience some blue too.

  138. says

    Love this post Erin….I have always wanted just boys..not sure why. I grew up next to a family that had 5 boys and 1 girl and I thought they were so much fun. My husband and I will be starting our family soon and while I know I will be overjoyed with whatever God gives me, I’m dreaming of little boys πŸ™‚

  139. says

    I can’t wait to read all the comments, but I just wanted to THANK YOU for this post.

    I am one of two girls, my mom is one of two girls, her sister had two girls…my dad’s brother had two girls. We are a girl family. When I got pregnant, all I knew was “girl” but part of me knew I might be thrown a boy curveball. When we had our ultrasound, I realized it was too much to know that the tech, a stranger, would tell me if my expectations were going to be shaken up–so we had her write it down and hubs and I read it later at home. When I saw that “BOY!” tears sprung to my eyes, as I realized that I had no idea what to do with a boy–in a blink I mourned the girl-led family that felt so familiar in my dreams. But then I realized how now I would start a new chapter for our fam. And 9 months in, my guy is the MOST fun thing that has ever happened to me. Now I can’t even imagine having a girl, which is such a switch to me, and I find myself hoping for a someday brother for my little guy. I picture bins of legos, trains, and muddy sneakers instead of the ponytails I did before. Who knows, maybe I will have both?

    Thanks again–I love being a Boy Mom, its better than I could have imagined. Now I treasure that slip of paper that changed my life in the best way.

  140. says

    I’m a boy mom too. I always wanted boys. I even pictured myself being a mom to only boys.

    My pet-peeve is when people ask “are you going to try for a girl?”
    uh…no….I may try for a baby and pray it’s healthy, but that is about all I can ask for.

    And the other thing I hate is the pity people give you when you are having another one of the same gender you already have. I imagine this must get worse the more you have of one gender. No matter how you tell them you are really happy for the baby (same gender as the others), they just don’t seem to believe it.

  141. says

    We are pregnant with boy #2! I have received this response 3 times when answering that we were having a second boy…”Don’t worry, you can try again”. I try not to take it personally, but it does hurt my feelings. Like my boys don’t matter as much. My son Luke is the light of my life and being a boy mom has surprised me so much. I have truly enjoyed it. I do ache for some of the moments between a mom and a daughter that happen in the future, but it is because I have never experienced the moments between a mom and a son. I can’t wait :).

  142. Katie B says

    Ha! As I read the article you linked to I had to laugh because my 2 year old little guy was literally jumping on the couch!!! I am pregnant with our second…a baby girl. And even though I was not so secretly hoping for another boy we are excited to meet our girl in a few weeks! I’m probably the opposite of most women. I’m scared to death of having a girl after having a boy first. Love your blog and your boys are just precious!!

  143. Kim says

    This is the exact reason I chose not to tell anyone what the gender of baby number two was going to be. Everyone kept saying….”Do you think it’s a girl?” “I hope it’s a girl!” I felt sooo much pressure. I knew if I had another boy I would love him as equally as much as my first son and thought it would be great to have another boy. After having a miscarriage just months earlier, I was just so thankful and blessed that we were able to have another child. We did end up with a beautiful daughter who fits our family perfectly, but I know if God had chosen to give me another boy…he would have fit us perfectly too. Thank you for sharing your heart!

  144. Allyce says

    This is a really neat post and I love that it’s straight from the heart. The relationship with EACH child is different whether it be boy or girl. A mother’s bond is like none other, as we all know, and your boys know that just as well as any girl would. Good for you for being thankful and counting your blessings!

  145. Kelly says

    I had someone ask me if I was disappointed that I was having a boy. I was so thrilled to be pregnant after battling endometriosis for several years, that I didn’t have a preference as long as the baby was healthy.

  146. says

    What a wonderful post! I don’t have kids yet, but I’m like you and always thought I would want a girl.

    Then my sister had this nephew of mine, and he’s not even my first nephew, he’s her second son and third child, and oh my heart. He has my heart so thoroughly wrapped around his little finger and I would walk through fire to give him a life with no sadness or fear. The incredible sweetness of that little boy, the ornery grins he gives, the silly little laugh he has, the loud shrieks when he runs across the room.

    Little boys aren’t so bad, at all πŸ™‚

  147. LyndsAU says

    Word & Amen! That’s all I’ve got to say!! Rock on you awesome mommy to two boys…one of which might marry my girl(s)! Ha. Love all 4 of you!

  148. says

    Love your comment about using your girl name for a fish. One our friends just had a baby girl and used one of our favorite girl names. I now say we’ll just it for our next dog! I’ve always said I don’t think I’m cut out to be a “boy mom”, but you make it look so fun!

  149. Alison says

    I do not have children yet, but I totally understand this! I am the manager and buyer(let me know if you are ever in Dallas for Market) for a children’s boutique. You can only imagine the things that I hear. Women will come in and look weeks before they find out what they are going to have and always look at the girl stuff. Then they act lost and upset when they are having a boy. It breaks my heart! It drives me crazy that people will spend tons of money on little girls, but not on little boys. They say that it is too expensive for them to get it dirty. Are girls not messy?! Or why don’t you have more “boy” clothes because my husband would never let me dress my son like that. For the love of God they are babies. They have the rest of their lives to look grown up, wear polos, and khakis! I love picking out cute boy clothes and hope to have boys of my own one day, but a healthy baby is all that matters in the end! P.S. I love how you dress your boys. We carry a lot of the brands you like πŸ™‚

  150. Leah says

    Interesting post. I think it just speaks to the stupid things people let fly out of their mouths without thinking first. I say that because I have a friend with 2 girls and a 1 boy and she gets it about the girls all the time. “Girls are the worst, boys are so much easier”. Their boy happens to be adopted and people always assume they chose to adopt a boy (they had no preference) and say things like “so you decided to adopt to be sure you got your boy?” I have two girls and came from a family of two girls and people always assume my husband and father were/are devistated not to have gotten their SON. (Neither are of course!) My point, I guess, is that people say stupid things no matter what the situation! I’m just so filled with gratitude for the two little blessings I have and I know you feel the same way. Always enjoy reading what’s on your mind.

  151. says

    I am lucky. I am the mom to one girl and three boys. When I am out with the boys (my daughter is in 2nd grade and at school all day) I hear a lot of “3 boys… you poor thing” or “All boys” or some other such comment. And I agree – it does hurt my heart. Because my boys have my heart and they have from the moment they were born. I know that my relationship with my boys is different from that with my daughter and will be. But one day when they get married, I will be welcoming 3 new daughters into my life.

  152. says

    I always wished for Pink! Dance recitals, Prom Dresses, Sororities, Weddings, Shopping etc…But when my son was born- none of that was important anymore! Now I eagerly look forward to T-Ball, Harry Potter, Seersucker, and Cowboy Boots! I figure I’ll have lots of fun decorating his first apartment and planning a rehearsal dinner for his wedding. And, I’m saving all of my jewelry and sorority pin etc… in case I have a granddaughter someday! The love is the same boy or girl- it is just the activities you enjoy together that change. And, I agree that the clothes are harder for a boy, but I’m up to the challenge-not really into the minature man clothes for a toddler! Great Post!

  153. Rachel says

    I feel ya, girl! And I loved this post. I have two little boys, 3 years and 1 year old. They truly are the lights of my life, but there will always be a part of me that mourns the daughter I always wanted and will probably not get (we think we might be done having kids). It’s hard to come to that reality, but I love how you said that your life will still be complete and wonderful. I completely agree. πŸ™‚

  154. Cory says

    I always found the opposite to be true. When I said I wanted all girls people would look at me cross eyed. And when I had my girl, even my husband (who I never would have expected to respond in such a way) was still like… “I won’t be able to do all the things I wanted to with her, like shoot guns, ride motorcycles, etc.”. I could have thrown up. Then I thought for sure my second baby would be a girl too, I was surprised to see it was a boy. When my husband found out he had special needs, he again went through a greiving process of sorts, because he didn’t get that “perfect” boy to pass all his manly ways onto. Of course he loves our children, but it is such a tainted view, and I don’t think he is alone. I always imagined having 3 girls (originally) cuz I imprinted on the idea. I was an only child, but was raised with my 2 girl cousins for a long time. It was always us 3, and I loved being referred to as “the girls”. But I think the idea of 3 boys would have been cute too. “The boys”. But now… I would be thrilled to be able to have one more or many more anything. Out of 6 pregnancies I have 2 live children, with the hopes of many more. But my point… I have always heard my friends saying they want that all important boy. I think too I am so disappointed in how alot of moms parent their boys. So I always tell my friends to raise good men. Ok, I will be done rambling now. Did you follow any of that. Ha!

  155. Erin V says

    I am a boy mom too and it breaks my heart that people weren’t as excited when I announced I was having my second boy. A lot of people still say “The third one will be a girl for sure” and “You will definitely have a third to try for the girl” While we haven’t made the decision yet if we will add a third, I have decided I either won’t find our the sex or won’t tell until the baby is born. It just made me feel horrible the way some people reacted. I love my boys with all my heart and they were given to me for a reason.

  156. Ashley N says

    This can definitely go both ways! I have two little girls and I have had my feelings hurt many times by people who assume that we feel our family is incomplete without a boy. My husband adores his girls and wouldn’t trade them for the world, yet people have said things to imply he must be disappointed to have missed out on a boy twice now. I hear the “gonna try for a boy?” questions All.The.Time. And the answer is that if I were to have a third, I would be thrilled with a third girl, OR a boy an so would my husband.

    Another flipside that grinds my nerves is when a friend finds out she’s having a boy, and boy moms encourage or celebrate it by saying “well you’re so lucky, because little boys just looooove their mamas”. Well my sweet girls love their mama too. That is just the most absurd thing to say and I always take offense at it.

    I think the bottom line is none of us would trade what we’ve got, and there is no better gender….theyre both wonderful in their own ways.

  157. Jamie V. says

    I’m a mom of 3 boys, a wonderful 4 year old and 15 month twins. They are the light of my life. Every new person I meet and discuss children with asks the obligatory question “you gonna try for that girl?” I smile politely and answer “maybe” but in my heart I am sad that 3 beautiful healthy boys wouldn’t be enough of an accomplishment.
    I applaud all moms no matter the sex of their children. It’s a hard enough job without worrying about the sex.
    Thank you for sharing

  158. Trisha Morgan says

    Girl I couldn’t have said it better myself. I am a boy mom of 3 amazing snotty nosed dirty boys. My oldest is 4, middle 2, youngest almost 5 months. I too used to dream about having a daughter & having the same relationship my mom & I have but God has had a different plan. Thank you for your honesty because I can truly relate. But at the end of the day I am grateful to have 3 healthy, happy & close amazing sons. They are my world & there is something so special about a momma & her boys. God is so good & his plans are so much bigger than we can see! Thank you for sharing.

  159. says

    I am a boy mom and know exactly how you feel. I sometimes feel like my friends with girls are always making me feel like I am missing out on something. I just remind myself that God blessed me with Caden for a reason and for him I will be the best boy mom I can be.

  160. says

    I waited until the birth to find out the gender of my little one. Like you said, it truly is one of the last surprises. I also felt like it was the only time in that sweet baby’s life where people didn’t have specific expections…a time when it could be anything and everything and I wanted to preserve that a bit longer. But just a little part of me was also afraid I’d find out it was going to be a boy and I’d be disappointed. I grew up as an only child living with a single mom. Girls are all I know. I don’t know the names of construction equipment or dinosaurs. The idea of a little boy overwhelmed me. I’d rather just jump in with both feet than hem and haw about it for several months. Of course, the doctor said, “it’s a boy!” The next day in the quiet of our hospital room my husband said, I”m sorry you didn’t get your girl. I quickly replied, I’m not! Funny, now I can’t imagine anything other than a little boy.

    I’d like to have 3 children one day and I always joke that I’m scared to death of 3 boys. The idea is a bit overwhelming, but nothing I’ll shy away from. If it’s half as wonderful as this has been, I’ll be the luckiest girl in town.

  161. says

    I’m a “boy mom”, ages 5 and almost 8, and almost every day for the last 5 years I have heard “When are you trying for a girl?” Plain and simple, never! I love my boys with all my heart, and I love the little men they are becoming. They are sweet, kind, and polite little gentlemen. My hubby sometimes teases me that I have a bad influence on the little one, as he is a momma’s boy who likes to cook, clean, and do laundry. I just remind him that he will make an awesome husband.
    As for the boy clothes, I detest so many of them! My boys are not allowed to wear anything with skulls or blood/gore on it. This is getting hard with the older one as they think all boys should look punky/goth. We tend to stick to plaids, stripes, cars, and airplanes (daddy works for an airline it’s a must)

  162. says

    I too am a boy mom! I have two little guys who make my world complete! Nothing like my two year old little man saying, “Mommy you are so pretty!” to make my day! I do get people who say things like, “Maybe one day you’ll get your girl,” or, “Will you try again for a girl?” Are my two perfect little men not enough? I couldn’t be more fulfilled or in love with my little men! I would be perfectly happy with even more little guys. I agree, that I do and would feel super blessed with any child God blesses my husband and me with. Children are a gift from God regardless of gender. We need boys and girls just as much and they are each uniquly wonderful.

  163. says

    Love this!

    I already have 2 sons and a stepson and am pregnant with our last child – another boy. I will forever be a Boy Mom.

    when I was first pregnant years ago, I just KNEW he was a girl. I had never even imagined having a boy. I wanted a great relationship with a daughter like I have with my mom. He was a boy and just so perfect for me…. for my first child.

    Pregnant with my 2nd, I had no strong feeling, but went ahead and assumed it would be a boy, since that’s what my husband was convinced of.

    Cue the 3rd pregnancy. I told everyone I thought he was a boy, but deep down inside, I was certain it was a girl. I felt for sure that God would deliver me what I’d so selfishly prayed for….a daughter. I was shocked and a bit disappointed to find out it was another boy. Now that I have adjusted, I love that I”ll be surrounded by guys my whole life! I love that they will adore and protect me. And hey – much less drama to deal with down the line!

    The only time I’m bothered now is when other people seem sad for me. I had friends and family actually be disappointed that it was another boy and surprised that I didn’t want to “try for a girl.”

  164. says

    As a mom of 2 boys, I also never envisioned myself as a “boy mom”. I have 2 brothers and my hubby has 2 brothers……..so boys are ALL we know:) I have to be honest and say that I also had a sinking feeling for a split second when I learned of baby boy #2, just because I had always dreamed of having a little girl. However, I LOVE my boys and wouldn’t ever change a thing! God knows exactly what we need – more than we do!! We will try for #3 in the next few years and I already dread the comments that people will make. Ugh! How annoying. I treasure my pregnancies and my healthy babies enough to be thankful for the gift of life, especially after 3 miscarriages in the past.

  165. says

    Yay boy moms!!! We need to form a sorority of our own!
    Erin, Here’s the deal…
    #1 we must be drinking the same kool-aid b/c this has been weighing heavily on me recently. I think b/c i know we’re “done”. It’s even on my October content schedule! (maybe i’ll just post it here ;)…you’re so gonna kick me off here)
    #2 my 3 (ages 9, 6, and 2.5) are the lights of my life. I have felt (still feel) ALL of those things you mentioned. The comments probably hurt more than anything. The one that irks me the most is…
    “Wow! Three boys? Better you than me.” My reply…yep! it IS better you than me, because I can handle it!
    It makes me sad b/c Sam (9) is catching on. He has asked me if it’s bad to have boys b/c people always say things about me needing a girl.
    #3 I can’t wait until the day that my boys are bigger than I am. Think about how warm fuzzy and secure that will feel!!
    #4 my friend (also a boy mom) and I have a terrible wish…this is awful…it’s really just a joke but… That our boys will marry a girl who has no relationship with her mother so we can plan the wedding and name the first born. (oh my gah!!!! I just said it out loud.)
    #5 I am convinced that our crowns in heaven are the glitziest and that we get pink wings!!
    Not to mention–I don’t want to give up my position as queen of my castle!
    Love you, girl!!! Hang in there!

  166. Elizabeth says

    Erin, you are so sweet and you spoke what was on your heart so beautifully !!! My sister in law is a “boy mom” to 5 boys, with each pregnancy my Mom, her mother in law would say … Well, maybe this one will be your girl, and each time she would respond…I will be thrilled if it is another boy !!! Her sons are the most amazing young men/boys you will ever meet and that is because she has poured her love and gentleness into each and everyone one of them. She makes each of them feel special and very loved and they are such fine and loving guys and one day, her life will be filled with lots of beautiful grandbabies…and she is praying they are all boys :o) I am so proud to be their aunty and I just love them to pieces.

  167. beth says

    I think you are way off, boy moms always act like they are superior to me, the one’s I have encountered. I feel just the opposite..I have 3 girls and mom’s that have boys have said to me, as if they are entitled..I am so glad I have a boy, or I couldn’t take the drama, or I would NEVER want a girl, we are so lucky we want ALL boys.. Here is what i say..they are gifts from GOD and I would have been happy with any gender..I LOVE MY GIRLS..and I would have loved a son as well!

  168. Kelly says

    I have a boy and a girl and we want a third baby. When people find out we are trying for another, they say “But you already have one of each”. As if that is the only goal and there is no other reason for having a child. Boy, girl, whatever. They are all wonderful! I just hope for a healthy baby each time no matter what. And having a son is awesome!

  169. says

    I don’t have kids yet, but I’ve always said I’d rather have all boys than all girls. I’m a girls-girl, but gah! So much drama in the puberty years that I just don’t know if I could handle it! I have a brother and he and my parents have a great relationship. I think boys have a dependency on their parents (especially their moms!) that girls don’t have as much. I think girls are just more independent and can fend for themselves a little more. Maybe that’s just my perception, but boys are just so much FUN!!

  170. says

    Erin, thank you for this post! I’m about to become a boy mom in 5 weeks and I couldn’t be more excited. I had a feeling from the beginning that I was having a boy and although I always thought I wanted a girl, I was so happy when the ultrasound tech confirmed that it was a boy. My friends were all rooting for a girl, but I’ve watched my friends who are boy moms and there’s just such a special bond between mother and son that I can’t wait to experience.

  171. Elizabeth says

    Erin, you often speak about the need for moms to support other moms. So why the judgment about Ms. Garner’s comments? I think you are thoughtful and insightful and this lapse seems to go against what you stand for on your blog, and I imagine in your life as well. Love your boys, let her love her girls, and let go of the judgment. I’m guessing if any one of us had every line we uttered potentially taken out of context, we too could be in line for some harsh criticism. I read your blog because I feel you offer a true haven for working moms, stay at home moms ,and women in general to cherish and value each other as human beings and I was disappointed to find this negativity on your lovely site.

  172. Melissa says

    My dad, the ultimate man’s man, had 2 daughters, 0 sons. I cannot tell you the number of times that people said, “So sad that he never had a little boy. He had so much to teach a son.” And they would say it in front of me and my sister! I think the worst of it was when my mom was pregnant with my sister (I’m 8 years older, so I’ve got clear memories of this) and people would say, “Y’all must be so disappointed. Don’t worry, you’re still young. You might have a boy later.” And then, when my dad’s sister had 3 sons, we had to deal with the comments at every family reunion, holiday, etc. about how awful it was that my dad couldn’t carry on the family name. Like he had in some way failed by only having girls.

    In public, my dad would always laugh and say, “My girls can do anything your boys can do. Plus, they’re pretty and they smell great!” In private, my dad was very clear to me and my sister that we were in no way a disappointment. He said he had always wanted a little girl that looked just like me and here I was, what he had wanted all of his life. And when my sister was born, he was thrilled because he said that he got what he had always wanted times two!

    I think that to so many people, my dad seemed like the perfect Boy Dad, just like you probably seem like the perfect Girl Mom since you enjoy “girlie” things. However, I think that just made my dad a better dad for us girls. He took both of us hunting, helped my sister become a star athlete, and I know how to fix a lot of plumbing and car problems on my own! I don’t think that was my dad trying to treat us like boys, that was just him teaching us what he knew best. I bet both of your boys will be terrificly organized, sensitive, and loving young men.

  173. says

    Boys rock!!! As a gal that loves all thing girly, I thought I would definitely want a girl, but having my precious Britton has taught me that I LOVE having a boy. If I had my choice I would have 2 more sons!!! I guess I kinda like being the only Princess in the house;) I might miss playing dress-up and dance recitals with a little girl , but I’m really looking forward to being the loudest/proudest cheerleader on the sidelines during t-ball and soccer games.

  174. says

    I was going to post something like this on our baby blog today because while I am elated to be pregnant with a little boy (our first) everyone who learns of the gender says to me “don’t worry – number 2 could always be a girl.” I am so excited to be having a little boy as they come with so many special gifts and because God has entrusted my husband and I to raise a little boy that will one day grow into the type of man that any women would want to marry.

    Your boys are adorable and I am proud to be joining the league of “boy moms”

  175. Tara G. says

    People sure love security and we seem to come up with all sorts of ways to deal with our emotions and expectations so that we can feel those parameters- and sometimes it’s just plain hard when they want to project those on us while we’re dealing with our own! Continue to delight in the Lord and in all He has entrusted to you! πŸ™‚

    We always moved when I was pregnant- and not little moves- international where I was having to sleep on an air mattress at 7 months type of moves. And between that and other things, I never had an ultra sound for any of my kids…the hardest thing was having to listen to everyone else complain they didn’t know the sex of my baby!

  176. says

    I’m sitting here 6 weeks (hopefully!) away from giving birth to my first, a boy, and can totally relate to you. I always knew I’d have a boy. In fact, I think that when it’s time for numbers two, three, and maybe four if God blesses us with that many, that they’ll all be boys, too. I’ve always pictured being the house that all the boys come and play at and sit around my table eating the snacks I’ve just made and running back outside to chase our dogs around. I’ve gotten lots of comments about “getting a girl next time” but I wish people would just appreciate how much fun little boys are. I’m thrilled that God has called me to know all the names of different kinds of trucks and be able to point them out while driving. I can’t wait to play t-ball out in my yard on a perfect fall day. While it would be fantastic to have a daughter, I can’t wait for the adventures that are to come with my little boy. Thanks so much for this post!

  177. Sara says

    I love this post, Erin. I don’t have kids yet, but it just really touched me. Babies are such a precious gift from God….boy or girl!

  178. says

    I’m a boy mom too! I’ve found that the hardest part is people’s comments. Like you I always thought I’d have two girls, but no boys. I am finding out that God gives you exactly what you need. Hard lesson.

  179. Jill says

    Just read your post – got on your blog, from a blog, from a blog, etc. I understand what you are saying, but try not to let it upset you. Even though you don’t have a daughter of your own, you can have a wonderful relationship with your daughters-in-law. YOU will make that relationship what it needs to be for both of you. There is no right or wrong with genders. I have friends who have all girls – and all they ever hear is “don’t you want to try for a boy!”. It isn’t about getting a specific gender – it’s all about getting KIDS πŸ™‚ Sounds like you are an awesome mom who loves her little boys. I have 2 girls and our third child was a boy – we didn’t find out the sex for any of them – and let me tell you, seeing that look on my husband’s face EACH time, is priceless. Yes, I’m thrilled I do get to experience both genders, but it would have been OK to have the same. And I must say – you do make pretty cute babies πŸ™‚ Thanks for being honest and sharing your feelings!

  180. says

    I’m due with my first this November, and I was thrilled to hear that he’s a little boy! I guess I’ve always envisioned myself as a boy mom- even though I grew up with just one sister and no brothers (until I was all moved out). There’s something about attending their sporting events, watching them become little gentlemen, and teaching them to raise a family the right way that seems so satisfying to me. And bonus- we don’t have to deal with the teenage girl drama! πŸ™‚ I’m as excited as can be. Thanks for sticking up for us boy moms!

  181. says

    Just now reading this post and you really brought tears to my eyes! I always love how honest you are and everything you said here was just so special and shows so much love for your boys! We don’t have any kids yet but when we do, I pray for happy, healthy babies! Yes, I get equally excited about the things a mother gets to experience with boys AND girls. I’m the oldest of three girls and I remember when my mom was pregnant with my baby sister, everyone would say to my dad “I bet you are really crossing your fingers for a boy this time”. He would get so upset because all they wanted was a healthy and happy child to love.

    I feel like I already know so much about being a parent just from reading your blog! You better believe that I’ll be referencing all of your old posts once my babies come along πŸ™‚ xoxo

  182. Erin P. says


    I’ve been following your blog for about a year now but have never posted, until now. I have one son, 15 months, and will be blessed with my second son in February. MY BOYS will be 15 months apart! I too, pre-boy mom, could have never imagine actually having a B.O.Y. I actually said, “what do I do with a boy?”, when I found out I was pregnant. It took about five seconds of holding my sweet guy that all fears and uncertanties went away. I am proud to be a “Boy Mom” and can’t wait to see what the future holds for me and my boys. I love watching my husband with them too; just another “bonus”!

    Thank you for this post! I agree and am interested in most everything you blog about but felt I had to reach out and formally thank you. Thank You!

  183. says

    It’s really nice to see you write this.

    I’m pregnant with our first child and we won’t be finding out what the sex is until the baby is born. I am the oldest of two girls (so I understand your feelings about wanting a relationship with a daughter like me and my mom have) and my husband is the youngest of 5 (3 girls and two boys). We’re just really excited to be having this baby.

    A friend and I were just talking the other day at a friends “gender reveal party” about how having a baby shouldn’t be about having a boy or a girl, but about raising future adults–adults who will be caring, kind and considerate people.

    Anyway, thank you for this post. It was so nice to read. I feel like a lot of people are hoping we’re having a girl, and I HOPE everyone will be just as pleased with whatever we end up having–because we are over the moon in love with him / her already πŸ™‚


  184. says

    amen sister! what a wonderful post to stumble onto your blog! i grew up in the “perfect” gendered family…2 girls and then 2 boys. never being pregnant before i thought baby #1 might just be a girl. he was a he and i now think i assumed girl…not because of wants or even gut feelings…but because i have never felt so “girly” as when i was pregnant. he’s here now…and ctc is almost 2. so shortly after he was born i remember being so grateful that God got to choose his gender and not us. i am so grateful that my son is a boy. and as he grows i know i could totally be that “boy mom”! i could have all boys and feel so blessed…and not one bit short-sided. i have many opportunities to be an auntie to a girl! a similar correlation in mind…is the fact that my child is biologically mine. i distinctly remember standing in ctc’s nursery when he was weeks old and realizing that i don’t love him because he is genetically from me…i love him because he’s mine. i wouldn’t love him any less if he had not been born from me. just the same…i don’t love him anymore or any less because he is a boy. i love him simply…because he’s mine! God the gift-giver knew exactly what and who we needed…and for that i am most grateful!

    btw…your BOYS are precious!!!

  185. Casey says

    Wow–your words caame out of my mouth 3 years ago! I had two precious boys, whom we had so struggled to conceive, and after 4 heartbreaking miscarriages, we were pregnant with our third boy. People actually told me they were sorry when I told them I was having another boy! It really hurt my feelings too. So when a surprise 4th pregnancy happened, we determined we would not, for the first time, find out the sex of the baby. I just knew it would be a fourth boy and was thrilled with the prospect. I did not want to hear the disappointment in people’s voices when we said it was another boy, so my not finding out was sort of my solution for that issue! God surprised us with the pregnancy and then again by giving us a girl. She is a delight and I would change nothing about our family dynamics now. But make no mistake, my family would have been no less perfect had it been all crazy boys. God knows just exactly what you need and which littles souls you are best wired to mold into His little warriors! I, for one, am thankful for His perfect design.

  186. says

    I am on the opposite side of the spectrum…I have three girls! We actually didn’t find out what we were having during the third pregnancy, and everyone thought she was a boy. I always considered myself to be a “boy mom.” I played sports growing up, love watching sports, and my husband is obsessed with sports. I understand that having boys isn’t all about sports, and some little boys don’t even like them! However, because I was more of an athletic child, I just assumed that I would have boys.

    I can honestly say I wouldn’t trade my experience of having three girls for anything. But I can also honestly say that if I had three boys, I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything either. Children are blessings. No matter what, I feel tremendously blessed to be called “Mommy.”

    One day, I will probably be able to experience ballet recitals, shopping for prom dresses, getting pedicures together, planning weddings, etc. But I won’t experience having a “Mommy’s boy” while he is young, being his biggest fan at a baseball game, taking him on “dates” to teach him how to treat a girl, taking him to shop for a tuxedo for prom, or dancing with him at his wedding. Would I love to experience those things? Absolutely! However, I believe with every ounce of my being that my experiences while being a mom to my three girls will be just as fulfilling as I had always hoped they would be. God called me to be a girl mom. I am honored that God called me to raise my girls. And I know you are honored to raise those precious boys.

    I think women who say the hurtful statements get caught up in the ideas of what they might experience with having a girl because, obviously, they are girls. That is what they know. However, if they really thought about what amazing experiences they would miss out on if they didn’t have a son, they would probably re-think their statements to a mom who has only boys.

  187. Jodie says

    I love this. There is so much truth and honesty in this post! I have a 15 month old son and am 16 weeks pregnant with our 2nd. Thank you for sharing!

  188. says

    I couldn’t agree with you more! After 18 months and 2 IVF’s to get pregnant we were just trilled to be pregnant with a healthy baby. Yes, I thought it was a girl. But I think it was mainly because I had no idea what to do with little boys. And my mom and I are so close I could just imagine my daughter and I talking about her wedding, etc. And then. We found out it was a boy. And I’m not proud to say it, but that night I cried. Not from disappointment but more from just being scared. Haha. Now our baby boy is 10 months old and I thank the Lord all the time for giving me what my heart always needed but didn’t know it…a Momma’s boy. I can’t imagine my life any other way! And now that he’s getting older we have people ask us “When are going to try for a GIRL?!?” Which really annoys me. Because I would be thrilled just to be able to get pregnant again. Girl or Boy. Seriously, we would just want the baby to be healthy. Why is the “perfect family” one of each? I’d love to have a daughter some day, but my family is already perfect to me!

  189. Sarai says

    This article just made me blubber like a baby πŸ™‚ I LOVE IT, I am a first time mom to the best baby BOY around ( I know I’m biased but he’s all mine and I can be ). My son looks just like his Daddy and I love it. It took us 6 long years to get to be parents (hope we don’t screw it up) so we are cherishing each moment with our little boy. Boy or Girl the next go around (if there is one or more) we will love every one. I secretly want all little boys but I know my husband wants a Daddys little girl and who can blame him?
    You are now on my favorites list- can’t wait to read some more of your blog and so glad a friend shared with me.

  190. Sarah H. says

    Not finding out the gender is the best! That’s what we did with our baby (girl) this summer. Personally, I work in a high risk OB office and see horrible horrible things all the time (babies missing limbs, facial clefts, absent brains, a perfect normal baby who all of a sudden at 32 weeks developed a brain tumor …she lived for 24 hours after delivery, etc). So I agree- count your blessings!!!! Healthy, happy babies of any gender are truly miraculous!

  191. Beverly says

    I was so overwhelmed the day we found out the sex of our baby. That one moment would set the tone and dynamic for the rest of my life. How could I not get overwhelmed?!? Would I be buying Barbies and carpooling to dance class? Or, would I be bandaging cut knees and watching football practice…neither of which I knew anything about? I went through the same “let it sink in” period when I found out I was having a boy. I felt so guilty when my husband looked over at me during the ultrasound and asked if I was “okay”. Of course, I was okay! But, I must admit that I was in shock….and a little scared. I think that I am just such a girly girl that I was afraid I wouldn’t know how to connect with a little boy. But, Jack is just what I needed to round me out! God gives us all what we need. I, too, long for a bond with a daughter like I have with my mom. And, of course, nobody would enjoy showering a little girl with all the frills more than me. I think that is why so many people also said the, “Next time you’ll get a girl” comments to me. I don’t think they were/are trying to be rude. I know they just know me well enough to know that I would enjoy having a daughter. But, I am so very thankful for the dear little boy that I have. He has melted my heart and has taught me so much about myself! Now I can’t imagine life without my sweet BOY! This girly girl would be happy to have a house full of boys like you!

  192. Sarah says

    I just wanted to chime in and say that my MIL has 3 sons~all wonderful husbands who are fathers to 6 great children….She has viewed her 3 DIL’s as the “daughters” she never had….and I have viewed her as the mom I never had…My parents divorced when I was young and my mom disappeared from my life…so my MIl filled that role graciously and without ever pushing as I graduated from college, planned our wedding, went thru 2 pregnancies, 5 moves and helped in raising my two wonderful children….so if you are the mom to boys, please view it as the most honorable of all chosen gifts….you are raising your sons to be wonderful husbands and fathers to all our daughter and hopefully you will be getting your “daughters” a little later in life like my MIL. Please don’t feel you are missing out on the good stuff….you are just getting to experience a complete and full life.

  193. says

    Loved this post! It is so funny because I *REALLY* wanted a boy. I wish for ALL boys.. I don’t know why but I just love the idea of a bunch of boys. Of coarse, now that I am a mom I can appreciate fully the hope of a healthy baby and not worry about the sex and will be happy with anything God blesses me with, But I am SO happy peebs was a boy and I love all his boy antics.. the throwing, smashing, grunting, …. and I love all my boy moms on twitter and blogs because it is so fun to see what they are into and what they like. You are a great boy momma and great boy mom inspiration!

  194. Katie says

    I love this! I am a boy mom who gets the same wild comments.

    We are going for a third and would love to have a girl but deep down in my heart of hearts. I do not care what the sex is. A baby is a baby, a child from Christ, the greatest gift a mother can receive. I love my boy and am enjoying life as a boy mom.

    The comments annoy my husband and I so much that we have decided not to find out the sex of the baby when we become pregnant again. (I hope I can make it!)

  195. Brittany says

    I don’t have children (yet), but I think you are a great boy mom! You’re little boys are so cute and smart! And as far as not having girls, my fiance’s mom is a ‘boy mom’ and honestly she is getting to enjoy some ‘girly’ things now. I’m trying to include her in wedding planning as much as possible, etc. So once your little boys grow up and bring wonderful girls into your life, you’ll get to enjoy them…without all the expenses that come with them! πŸ™‚ Haha

  196. says

    Thanks for the great post. My son is now 10 months old and we decided not to find out the sex before he was born. Even though we didn’t know what we were having, I never really thought that the baby would be a boy. I just always thought it would be a girl. Once he arrived, I remember saying to my husband for several days, what am I going to do with a boy? I don’t know anything about boys. Its been a trial by fire for sure but I’m learning every day about the joys of boyhood.

  197. says

    Sigh…I hear ya.

    Loud and clear.

    I have three sons, and we feel our family is complete.

    I only mourn the loss of a daughter every so-often, as I think about the adult relationship with my own mother that is so important.

    My middle son has Down syndrome and will most likely always live with my husband and me. But that’s okay. Sometimes I wish none of them would ever leave.

    And then there are days I want to get in my minivan and drive away just to be able to pee by myself.

    But I suppose that would not change if I had girls. πŸ™‚

  198. Julie says

    I found myself nodding the whole time i was reading your post. i always dreamed of having a girl and was somehow not even aware that my baby could be a boy. all babies are girls right?! weird, i know. well, i was a little freaked out when i found out i was having a boy. and now i’m a boy mom, and i can honestly say God knew what He was doing. he gave me more than i even knew to ask for when he gave me my little blue eyed guy. if i’d had a girl, i may have tried to force her into a mold, an image of this mother-daughter relationship i’d craved. being a mama is about making me more holy. it’s not about what i want or my fulfillment. i am fulfilled in Christ alone. but being a mama is part of my purpose. and the world needs Godly men and leaders. and as a bonus, God showed me how much boys can melt a mama’s heart. i wouldn’t want him to be anyone but him, and i am so so proud to be a boy mom! and yes. where are all the sweet, simple boy clothes?! all boys aren’t rockstars who like dirt. ditch the crazy cartoon printed tees, and give us boy mamas some cute options that aren’t 10000 bucks at a boutique. simple, sweet girls stuff at target? check. the boys section? looks like a circus!

  199. April says

    I just now read this and as a Mom of one boy (so far) I can totally relate to loving being a boy Mom and not expecting to love it as much as I do. I had a gut feeling early on that we would have a boy (hubby is one of 4 brothers and only 1 girl) because it runs in the family. I genuinly love all the boy toys and clothes so much. I love the dark, rich colors of the winter clothes and the bright blues and oranges of the summer ones. I think my favorite color is now orange thanks to all the boy stuff around me. LOL I sometimes think of all the things I’ll miss out on (maybe?!) by having a boy and not a girl but I love seeing my son and my husband’s close relationship too. I am so excited that my hubby will have a son to be close to just like he is close to his own father.

  200. Christina says

    I love this post. I have 4 boys so I can definitely relate. I admit, I was kind of freaked out when I found out my first was a boy. But once he was born I found out how amazing sons are. I didn’t feel sad at all with the others because I knew I’d love them like crazy. And I do. They’re awesome.

    Your boys are adorable. I love, love, love boy moms!

  201. Candice says

    This is so funny for me because there must be pressure on both sides of the gender camps. My sister-in-law just gave birth to their third baby girl. SO so many people kept saying how bad they felt that they didn’t have a boy. It’s so crazy. Don’t they realize that God picks? Good post!

  202. says

    i have been dealing with these same feelings over the last few months. we are having our 3rd boy and i’m seriously okay with it at this point. i keep telling people that God just really wants me to learn patience!! also, i’ve begun thinking that even if i never have a daughter, i know i will be blessed to call my daughters in law mine. i have been so blessed by my own mother in law and i’m just praying now that someday i will get to have that same kind of special relationship with a “daughter” – even if she isn’t biologically mine πŸ™‚ thanks for sharing!

  203. Kristie says

    I just read your post…it caught my eye when I found your website. I just thought I would share some sweet thoughts about being the mother of two boys. I have two precious sons who are now 19 and 21! It seems like they should still be little boys, but here they are…off in college! When my husband and I got pregnant with our first child, we had our first ultrasound and I was thrilled to see that little figure on the screen! Being the frilly girl that I am, my husband looked over at me and said, “Are you okay?” – but no tears!!
    I saw my strong healthy first-born “older brother to future siblings” that I had always wanted. When I got pregnant just 15 months later, we found out at the same time, that my husband had Hodgkins’ disease. I remember thinking how blessed we were to have a sibling for our little boy. I guess I still wanted four babies wishfully at that time. (Two boys and two girls, of course! πŸ™‚ So two healthy children under our circumstances, seemed a miraculous blessing at that point in time, and all my thoughts became about just keeping out little family healthy and getting my husband well again!! When we went to our ultrasound a few months later and found out that we were having boy number two, my husband knew better than to ask if I was disappointed…he simply said, “I’m so happy that you will have two sons to take care of you all of your life!” Of course, I cried tears of joy and realized what a blessing that is…there is no love so dear nor so protective as that between boys and their mother! Our boys were sweet and active playmates from the beginning, and they are very close friends now. I recently told my sons that their relationship is one that only two brothers can understand. They share a bond that is different than a brother and sister, maybe not sweeter, but special and strong! We never had any more children, but God has been so very kind to us, to allow us to watch our sweet boys grow to become young men! Now we have some sweet girlfriends who visit our sons and keep me company in the kitchen. It’s all good! Enjoy your sweet little boys and never allow anyone to steal your joy! Boys are a blessing and children are all gifts from God!

  204. says

    Thank you thank you thank you for this post! I know its old, but I’m just getting around here so sorry! I am a mom of two boys. I have the perfect girls name picked out, but no girl. I struggled with this for a long long time. We had a tough time getting and staying prego with my two boys and are all done with that stage in life. I feel very blessed that God has entrusted these two to me. But I am very close to my mom and sister and still sometimes feel that void, especially looking into the future. I am definitely cut out for Legos, sword fights and camping in the backyard. God knew exactly what he was doing here. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I have fought calling myself a “boy mom” for a long time. Just had a hard time giving up that dream and the baby stage. I am very thankful for my two boys. I love every minute with them. Besides, now I can focus on praying for their future wives and that they will be believers and awesome fun people who may just want to be friends too!

  205. says

    just stumbled upon your blog and this post…I feel like you wrote from MY heart! πŸ™‚ When I was pregnant with my first boy (who will be 2 in a month) I thought “what in the world do you do with boys?!?!” Now I have a second little boy (3 months) and I’m not sure I’d know what to do with a girl now! πŸ™‚ Boys are such a blessing and such fun little people! I too had people hoping that both of my pregnancies would be girls, but I am SO fulfilled with being a boy mom! I look forward to continuing to follow your blog!

  206. says

    I just discovered your blog and have been reading all your “boy mom” posts. I love them! And this post hits home like no other. I have a son too and couldn’t imagine it any other way. I’d love to have 3 boys one day, but if not, who cares? A healthy baby is all that matters πŸ™‚ Thanks for sharing this! xo

  207. Rachel says

    Thank you. Thank you. I know this is a rather old post, but I needed this. I am pregnant with my 2nd boy. I did cry a bit at the ultrasound — I was pretty sure #2 was a girl. But I know now that he is exactly who he is supposed to be, and he is the perfect addition to our family. And if I never have a girl… well, okay. Still, I definitely feel that pressure from society to have a girl… people get much more excited about a girl baby than boys (which is funny to me because I think it nearly every other culture, it is the opposite!). I try to encourage boy mamas whenever possible.

    Honestly, it is not the boyhood that challenges me. It is the unknown future. The thought lingers in the back of my head that another culture quirk — again, different in many many other worldwide cultures — that when boys grow up and get married, it seems the default is that they become absorbed into the wife’s family, rather than the other way around (or being shared equally). This. Breaks. My. Heart. My husband reassures me that every parent/child relationship is different, every family is different. And that we will plant the seeds of familial bonds with our kids. Still, I can’t help but feel that we may be fighting social forces bigger than ourselves. After having boys now, I have much more sympathy for my own MIL. Right now, mama is his BFF, his #1 lady. I can see how that might be difficult to give up later!

    There are no answers to that yet. I see satirical or inflammatory “letter to my son’s future wife” blog posts by mamas, but what I really want to write is the letter to my son’s future in-laws: please understand I love my son as much as you love your own daughter. Understand I want to see him and his family on holidays as much as you do. Understand that we BOTH have to share them now, and please ENCOURAGE your daughter to spend time with her own in-laws..


  1. […] 4 of a Kind by The Tiny Twig and {Our Adoption} Boy or Girl? by House of Rose (These are two very positive, content posts about being a boy mom. And y’all know how I love being a boy mom.) […]

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