I memorized these verses in the first grade. I’ve never forgotten them. But I also haven’t actually done my best to live them.
Last year, I did Beth Moore’s Living Beyond Yourself study with a group of great girls and was really convicted by this entire study that focused on these two verses in Galatians. That big “p” word in orange really stands out the most.
I’ve sung songs like “have patience, have patience, don’t be in such a hurry” and even a great old song by Guns ‘n Roses that says “all we need is just a little patience.” Just kidding. Kind of. I do love that song.
I tell Hudson on a daily basis to, “be patient. I’m getting to it.”
But what about me? This is that piece of fruit that I struggle with so much. I lose my patience. I don’t like to wait. I want things done and I hustle around to get them done. And then I usually mess something up in the process because I’m moving too quickly. Or in one particular case when I was rushing to a work event and was about to run out of gas… When I got out of the car to pump the gas, I literally fell out of my car and tore a hole in the knee of my work pants and bloodied up my hands.
Just slow down!
And my patience with my loved ones. It’s shameful. I’m actually pretty good about staying patient with the boys, but I lose my patience with TC. We’re different. He doesn’t rush around like I do. And I’m sure my attitude makes him want to slow down even more.
There are times, though, when Hayes is screaming and Hudson is saying, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy…” over and over and over again. You get the picture. I truly have to breathe deeply in order to not lose my patience with him.
This weekend, TC was out of town for a friend’s wedding and I had the boys by myself. We had church on Sunday morning and I was trying so hard to be prepared and organized with how I’d get both of them, both of their diaper bags (because they’re in separate rooms and need separate bags), my purse and my Bible inside. It was hot, I was setting up the stroller outside and I just had to breathe. A couple of friends stopped to help me.
That evening, we had a special event at church and I was trying to feed Hayes a bottle and get some ice cream to Hudson. Our amazing children’s minister came to my rescue. She offered to walk to the ice cream social with me to get Hudson some ice cream while I finished feeding Hayes. Words cannot even describe how much her small act meant to me and how much it calmed me.
I can’t stand the feeling of being flustered and overwhelmed. Especially when your children are with you and you are genuinely worried about having enough hands to round them up on your own to keep them safe. I could have just left and gone home. Hudson wouldn’t have gotten his ice cream. We would have missed out on the fellowship. But it would have been easier and more “controlled” to just get in the car. But I didn’t want to give up and our wonderful minister came to my rescue. She doesn’t just minister to the children, she (and her whole staff) are always ministering to the moms. And probably the dads, too.
We were asked in Sunday school a few weeks ago to write down our greatest failure. I couldn’t think of a specific instance that didn’t involve failing an exam, but my lack of my patience is what came to mind. I need to be more focused every day on asking God to help me be patient with those I love and be patient with myself.
I know that we all have our own breaking points and we all have a piece of “fruit” that hangs over us as the one the needs the most attention. What is yours?
Erin,
Thank you for this post! I feel like it was written to me, you described the way I often feel perfectly. We’ve been discussing the fruits of the Spirit in our Sunday School class recently and I was convicted then of my lack of patience as well. I appreciate your honesty, your blog is like a breath of fresh air. You are in a very similar life situation as I am (I also have two little boys, they are 22 months apart) and I’m a stay at home mom. There are some days where it feels easy to be patient with my family or life in general, and then other days (like your example of trying to get inside your church with both boys) where it feels much more difficult. All we can do in those cases is slow down, force a deep breath, say a quick prayer for help, and keep moving forward, never forgetting that this family we’ve been given is one of our greatest blessings from God. Thanks so much for keeping it real, and keep up the great posts! š
Allison
I am definitely right there with you!
Definitely know the feeling Erin! I’m not only impatient but stubborn as well which is not a good combo! Patience is something I’ll be working onthe rest of my life š
“And Iām sure my attitude makes him want to slow down even more.” I read this sentence and my jaw literally dropped! I am the exact same way and my husband and I had a heated discussion about the exact same thing Monday night. Once again, you make me feel a little better knowing that I’m not the only one! It’s so hard to just slow down (especially when you’re a little tightly wound as I am), but this was a good reminder. I really feel like you were a fly on the wall in our house and wrote about it!
Thank you.
xo
Jess
I totally relate to this post. My husband is just like TC – very patient and laid back. He literally never loses his cool. I have to work really hard at being patient and still fail daily.
I would say my greatest failure would be not living up to my potential. I use to be such a go getter but now with a husband and three kids I sort of just focus on them and not myself. So I am in constant prayer to find that spark just for ME again. I know in the long run it will make for a happier me as well as my family. Thanks for this post it really has me thinking. When you take care of the kids all day your patience becomes a little thin and when others like the husby try to help it fustrates you even more. So hopefully I will try to have more patience as well.
Erin, You are on the right path! Taking a deep breath and relaxing when you have two babies is one of the most important things you can do. Now that my children are 28, 24, 16 and 16 I can say that one of the biggest mistakes that I made while they were small was trying to do too much too soon. I’m a Type A and love to stay busy and organized. It took me many years to get it right…and I’m still working on it! Ha! We didn’t have blogging 20 years ago. What a blessing it is for new Moms to support each other and offer wise counsel. Your babies are beautiful!
Patience is mine too! I have to pray for it daily.
I just did a post on this same thing last week. I think God is using T to teach me this virtue. But I fight it so much! I pray everyday to keep the faith and become have more patience with T and my life in general!
Patience is definitely mine too! (and with the hubby as well). It’s hard to believe that something that we want everyone else to possess is so hard to have ourselves. I know that I have got to stop trying to be “Super Mom” and that will help but I find it is hard to live in just the moment at hand and not think about where we (all) need to be the next few hours, days, years!
I feel like I’m in a constant state of flustered since Nathan left. It is just VERY hard to go anywhere with a toddler who is very independent but definitely needs his hand held and a baby that needs carried. Everywhere. I was strongly considering using our stroller at church Sunday, but I was afraid of how silly I’d look. Looking back I realize it couldn’t have looked more silly than me chasing Manning across the foyer while Deacon bounced on my hip and I tried to get them signed into nursery.
Like so many, this post slapped me right in the face. My husband is annoyingly laid back. About everything. I get so mad at him sometimes because I want him to WANT to get things done as quickly and efficiently as I (think) I do š I lost my patience with my son yesterday and I kept apologizing to him throughout the evening because I felt like such a failure. He is only 2 and I can’t expect him to be well behaved all the time. Thanks for this post! Glad to know I’m not alone.
Thanks for posting this Erin. This is one of my favorite verses as well. I think I struggle with patience and faithfulness. I’m on the search for a teaching job and I know God has the perfect spot for me but sometimes in the process, I lose sight of waiting for His timing and perfect plan. Have a great week!
I am with you!!! I have ZIPPO patience at work, at home, etc. I expect things to be done RIGHT NOW, and on MY SCHEDULE. I MUST make patience a priority for me. ALSO, on another note – I’ve seen you in the Shandon ads on tv. How awesome are you!!! My husband and I attend Shandon as well! Have a great week!
Thank you for writing this today, it was exactly what I needed to hear. I have been struggling with this a lot lately. Just like you and TC, my husband and I are completely different in this department. He is SO patient with me and I know I owe him the same thing.
Thank you again for making me stop and reflect on what I need to do to better myself, you truly were speaking right to my heart. Take care!
I could have written this post! I was always very patient with my students, and I am patient with my son, but that’s it. I’m one of those people that wants things done NOW, I rush to finish everything and often mess it up and have to fix it or it wasn’t done as well as it could have been. I’m also someone who plans ahead and rushes around to get things done and my husband is a huge procrastinator and takes his time to do anything. It drives me crazy! Definitely something I need to work on.
I think you wrote this for me. I’m a get it done yesterday kind if girl, but oh, how I need to learn patience. I’m right there with you on the patience problem. Thanks for sharing.
Patience is something I wish I could learn. I lost mine with my two year old this weekend and felt so awful for the rest of day. It is something I pray on almost daily.
I don’t have little ones myself yet but I usually get hot, bothered and frustrated when I can’t do something right away. It can even be as simple as opening my coffee mug…drives me nuts when I can’t get it. I consistently remind myself, deep breath and take a chill. Then the task seems so easy..if only I could skip that frustration stage to begin with š
Wow, that was certainly a good reminder.
Love reading your blog, by the way! You’re so real and truthful š
Mine is the need to control and analyze. I’ve paralyzed myself and missed out on success because of my wanting to bend things to MY will and not God’s. I need to literally let Him take the wheel.
Mine is the “self-control” part, remembering not to complain and to remember how good I have it!
You also me singing along now, in my head at work! “Love and joy…peace and patience…goodness kindness…faithfulness and…gentleness and self control…”
so true. i struggle with that big ole piece of patience fruit, too. i had to laugh when i read, “have patience, have patience, don’t be in such a hurry….” we used to sing this ALL THE TIME when we were little. fun memories! š
Once again…I love you!!! I truly believe we were supposed to have been sisters! LOL! I love this post!!! My hubby and I are the same way…my impatience and rushing around definitely slows him down!
I do feel like the boys (6 & 2) and I miss out on certain things when my hubby is away, due to my knowing that things are going to be crazy. My 6 yr old is laid back, but is experiencing selective hearing right now! And the 2 yr old is just non-stop (not bad, just extememly busy)! So, I tend to just not participate in certain things because I don’t want things to be out of control and lose my patience with them. But, I am so proud of you for making it to church and to the event that night. I am sure it was such a relief to have help and now you can look back and be proud of yourself:) I am trying really hard to work on my pieces of “fruit”.
I need this today. Thanks for sharing the scripture with us and for your honesty.
Thank you for sharing this! I have so much patience with my students that sometimes I just feel like I’ve run out of it by the time I’m around W. or my parents, the three people who love me most in the world. W. is SO slow in getting ready and getting around to doing things…glad to hear that TC is the same way š
Once again, you’ve awakened my spirit! I think God is using you in an amazing way, Erin. You are truly a role model for me, and through God’s teachings, you are able to shed your light and “real-ness” to all moms in the blogging community.
Mine are patience and faithfulness. Patience for pretty much ALL the reasons you shared, and faithfulness because even though I go to church, read the Bible, listen to His word and trust in God….when I get overwhelmed and things don’t go they way I”VE planned, I basically lose my faith in those moments instead of looking to God and sending my burdens up to him. It’s a daily battle. xo
I’m designing a big piece of artwork for our front room based on this exact verse! I’m so anxious to get started on it – so maybe I need to work on patience! I’ve actually been kind of hard on myself lately when it comes to kindness. It’s not that I don’t think I’m a nice person, but lately I haven’t been the type of person to reach out to others with kindness – at least I don’t feel like I’ve been doing it enough. I have to balance that with the realization that I intentionally stepped back from some commitments about two years ago to make more time for my family, so I’m not ‘out there’ as much as I used to be. But still, it’s hard to think of yourself as lacking in kindness – for any reason.
This is hands down, my biggest fault. I have no patience. I have fifty million things I want done at all times and I want them done two hours ago. Mr. P and I fight about this more than anything because he gets on my last nerve with how SLOW he is!! You know what I mean. I struggle a lot with losing my patience with BG. A lot. I’m working on slowing things down a bit, but I feel like this is something I’ll be battling for years. I also now have that Stones song stuck in my head.. thanks for that š
Patience with my husband, definitely my worst “failure.” Just like your circumstance, I’m a rusher and he isn’t. And my rushing makes him slow down even more. Natural, I’m sure, but man, I have such a hard time with it! Thanks for reminding me to ask God daily for help with this one!
I definitely can relate to your post. I’ve actually felt very guilty about this lately. Now that school is quickly approaching, I start moving at a much faster pace. My anxiety levels go up and I want things done right away. At school I teach 10-year-olds and my patience level has really gone up. I’ve really started to understand them over the past two years than I did my first and second year! However, while I’m relaxing and remembering to breath at school I am complete opposite at home. When I walk in the door I’m done. My poor hubs often gets the short end of the stick because after dealing with 115 fourth graders, the last thing I want to do is explain myself an extra time at home. My stress level goes up and I constantly feel like my house is a mess {considering a cleaning lady this fall to help with that}! I need to remember to stop and breath. It’s not his fault, but it’s easy to blame. Shame on me. I wrote down the verses on a sticky note and am going to place it in my (Erin Condren–hehe) planner. I’m hoping that when I can open it up every day and see these verses it will help me remember what is truly important–not that my kitchen counter is cleared off and there are no dishes in the sink, but spending quality time with my husband. My goal this year is to really think before I speak when I get home. Great post!
Agree agree!! This is a constant battle…I guess I keep telling myself that as long as I’m constantly trying to do my best, that’s enough. I’m not perfect.
I’m currently concentrating on joy. I’m not an unhappy person, so that isn’t my problem. I’m just making note of each instance the word “joy” or a derivitive of it is used in Scripture and then do a word study on it. The most imporant thing I’ve learned is that commands us to come into His presence with joy. John Piper says it this way (my paraphrase)- we can obey God and that brings Him glory, but He is glorified the most when we delight in Him- obeying, following, being in His presence, etc. That’s how I want to live and that’s the legacy I want to leave.
I could have written this post myself! I find myself losing SO much patience by the end of the day with Brayden, that I wonder how on earth I will manage 2 kiddos. No one is perfect, but we sure can work at finding the balance that is pleasing to the Lord and helpful for our spirits!
Patience is a virtue…my mom says that all the time and I try to repeat that to myself.
As a teacher, I have to be patient all.the.time. When I get home, I don’t want to have to be patient anymore. Finding that balance is so difficult, that it’s important to ask for help and be flexible. It’s something that I am working on, as I love being independent and doing things on my own. I too want things done when I want them done and my way as well, but that doesn’t always happen. Thank you for being so open and honest!