God knocks you down and humbles you! No, it’s true.
I don’t think I deserve a medal when my 2 year old behaves or when my 9 week old sleeps through the night. But it does make me feel pretty darn good. Because the days when Hudson is being particularly disobedient or when Hayes doesn’t sleep well, I think, “I am failing. I am doing something wrong.” Being a mom is tough on the ego, I tell ya.
Last week, I posted some goals to get more organized- especially with meal planning and grocery shopping. So this weekend, while Todd was out of town, I planned our meals for the week and did all of our grocery shopping. I handled Monday’s supper on Sunday night. I had everything lined up to handle tonight’s supper today while the boys were napping.
I laid out all of our clothes for this morning and made Hayes’s bottles ahead of time. We all got dressed and out the door. Hudson has swim lessons this week, so Hayes and I sit and watch/sweat to death while Hudson swims. I was feeling pretty darn good. Not quite Super Mom, but definitely like I had my stuff together… finally!
Hudson had a great lesson, and then when it was time to go, he decided he wanted to take the blue pool ring home with him. You know those pool toys that you dive down to the bottom to bring back up. He wanted to take the blue one home. I was carrying the pool bag and I had Hayes in the crook of my elbow in his carrier. I was holding Hudson’s hand trying to keep him from taking a flying leap into the pool. He picked up the ring, but I told him he needed to leave it at the pool so he could play with it tomorrow.
He wasn’t having it. Cue the melt down of all melt downs. He collapsed and kicked and screamed. And I know he was so tired from his lesson. But I couldn’t pick him up and just run to the car because I had Hayes! And I’m trying to hold onto his hand without dragging him across the concrete and skinning his legs!
Can you be embarrassed even if no one sees? There was no one around to witness this, but I was embarrassed!
I managed to get Hudson to the car and Hayes to the car. They both got buckled in and I used the towel to dry my face from the insane amounts of sweat. The heat index is 110 degrees today. It’s too hot to be wrestling a toddler outside.
(Before anyone asks… Yes, I do discipline Hudson. And I did then, too.)
I let him watch a movie on the way home and then, of course, he didn’t want to get out of the car because he wanted to watch The Jungle Book. Duh, Erin! So he proceeds to collapse in the driveway and in our front yard as we made our way into the house. It’s just so hard to be a toddler.
I sent him to his room with his lovie to calm down while I fed Hayes. I fixed Hudson some lunch and went to get him. He told me he did want some tortellini and fruit and thanked me when I put him in his high chair.
Then he looked at me and while he choked back what was left of his previous tears, he said, “I’m sorry, Mommy.”
And so he couldn’t see the tears building up in my eyes, I hugged him and kissed his cheek. And told him I loved him.
Gah! This motherhood stuff is hard. But moments like that can be so rewarding.
We have our set backs and we’re constantly reminded that we don’t have all the answers and we don’t even know what we’re doing most of the time. But instinct and love help us cope with the melt downs and embarrassing moments when you’re convinced that everyone on your street knows that your toddler wanted to stay in the car to watch The Jungle Book.
And I just think that God wants to humble us so we remember that He has the answers. He wants to remind us to look to him for guidance in all of our relationships– especially the ones where we’re trying to raise Godly children.
I have a 2.5 year old, so I can completely relate to this story! Go you, I think you do a fabulous job mothering your boys. 🙂
Sometimes I think that God must have toddler moments with us, too. We try to reason with our toddlers because we know what’s coming next and what we need to do because it’s what’s best for them and they’re so focused on “The Jungle Book” (in our house, it’s “Cars”) that the melt down is inevitable – we must look so much like to God! He knows what’s next and what we need to do because he has our best in mind, but we refuse to see it or go along with it because we’ve got such tunnel vision on the here and now. Where would be without our humbling life lessons coming from a God of grace? 🙂
Erin- how do you discipline in a situation like that? I always feel at my wit’s end in those type of situations because I feel like if I do spank Manning people will judge, but if I don’t they judge. I also have a hard time gauging how to discipline because I think spanking can often make the situation worse- as in Manning would get more upset and start acting worse! Ugh. I could use some advice if you want to email me.
Erin – You know I always appreciate your honesty when it comes to parenting. It’s not always perfect but umm that “I’m sorry Mommy” just makes it okay. You are a great Mom.
Thank you, Erin, for being so open and honest. I needed this today. I’m not dealing with tantrums but it’s a great reminder that God is in control of it all. No matter how organized I try to be. Blessings to you and your sweet family!
Toddlers have tantrums, no matter what we do as mothers! They are rough, but a part of life. I am really impressed that he apologized! I would have melted with the emotions of my little one recognizing her actions and taking responsibility!!
On days when Kate throws temper tantrum after temper tantrum, I always think I am the worst mom in the world. I try to cut myself some slack and most importantly, decide that I get a do over tomorrow 🙂 You are a great mom, Erin, and your boys are lucky to have you.
God has been doing a lot of humbling to me lately so I understand. It’s all a growing process, right? And, tomorrow will be better! 🙂
Oh, Erin. I’m sorry you had a bad day. We have ALL had them. I can so relate. Please go read my post from last week. I had what can only be described as my worst day yet since becoming a mom. Then you can read the one above it where I was able to put my horrible day to rest. It was so difficult. Your post brought me to tears because I am so glad to be able to read other moms experiences! Especially a mom to two boys. I know I’ve been doing this a bit longer (my oldest is nearly 3 and my youngest is 14 months) but we all have our issues. Like I always tell people . . . it doesn’t get easier. It just gets different.
http://www.adayinmollywood.com/2011/07/it-was-only-a-moment/
This brought tears to my eyes for so many reasons. First of all, I can relate to a toddler throwing a meltdown over something like a blue swimming ring. Secondly, I can relate to feeling like my child’s behavior is a reflection of my parenting skills. Thirdly, I can relate to Hudson sweet little “I’m sorry” and how it makes you as a mama feel. Parenting is so hard, and it’s certainly not for the faint of heart, but the blessings it brings are amazing. And you are a great mother.
E, I dealt with a massive meltdown last night when it was time to get out of the bath tub. Kicking, thrashing, screaming … the works. Sigh. As hard as it is for Wynn when he doesn’t get his way, sometimes I think it’s even harder for me to see him upset. I guess we don’t get to be called “Mom” for nothing, right? 😉 You’re a great mom and Hudson and Hayes are blessed to have you!!
I love this post, Erin. I totally teared up thinking of your sweet boy coming to the realization that he should apologize. Your response to his apology was so loving and forgiving. I don’t have children yet, but I can only imagine how humbling it is. God uses so many everyday experiences to mold us and grow us to be more like Him, but seeing His provision through the eyes of children is truly a gift. Thanks so much for sharing your heart with us. 🙂
So sweet! I can just picture Logan saying that in a few years… because at almost three months, she already seems to have quite a personality! You are fabulous, and I’m getting so many tips from you for when we decide to have another one. Thank you!
Hey Erin. Thank you, once again, for sharing this and being so honest. You seem to always know what I need to hear! Ha ha! Gavin is two and a half and I seriously think some days that his actions and tantrums are a sign that he is going to have major issues some day. Some days he screams bloody murder until he loses his voice and it’s over the simplest things. He started hitting again about a month or so ago and he now says “Bad you, Mommy” or “You’re bad Daddy” when one of us tells him he can’t do something or scolds him for doing something that he knows he shouldn’t be doing. It’s so easy to believe him when he says that! It’s so great when they finally seem like they “get it” and apologize on their own or respond like you want them to. The other night Gavin had a complete screaming, kicking, red-faced, thrashing melt-down because I told him he couldn’t take a lego space ship to bed with him. Then later on I knocked my head really hard on the corner of a cabinet door and was actually crying because it hurt so much. I sat down on the floor so that I wouldn’t pass out or something and Gavin came up and started rubbing my head softly saying “it’s okay Mommy. Do you need a band-aid? It will feel better soon.” That made me cry harder and for an entirely different reason!
Erin…I am so thankful that you are REAL!!!!! Sounds like a day in the Soong household with a 2 year old!!! Glad to know that I am not on this challenging, and yet rewarding journey alone!
I would love to know how you discipline Hudson. He seems so well mannered and sweet. My son is 2 days older than Hudson and is a very wild crazy little boy. So any pointers would be appreciated 🙂 maybe a blog post? Lol
Thanks 🙂
Thank you for writing this. I am in great need of this reminder today!
We had major meltdowns at the pool on Sunday afternoon and I was exhausted by the time we arrived home. I seriously thought to myself, “I don’t think I can have any more kids.” Amelia is a really good kid but I can see we are getting closer to 2 and her opinion is getting stronger and stronger. Parenting is a humbling thing, indeed. I keep reminding myself in moments like that – I want to be Christ to my child…I want her to see Him in me. It sure is hard though – when she’s looking me in the face saying “I NO LIKE IT!!” (LOL)
And I started crying when I read that he said, “I’m sorry, Mama.” So stinkin’ sweet.
Thank you for this post.
I am getting ready to have my second child..this time a girl.. and I am worried about juggling the two.. as much as you can tell me about the good and the bad days, which everyone will have.. you do give me some hope.. that I will be able to handle it!
At least you know you are doing something right if he came back and apologized all on his own. Way a sweet boy. Being a mom is hard but moments like that make the trials worth it.
**what a sweet boy
You have no idea how much I appreciate your honesty. I’m sorry you had a rough day but it sounds like you handled each meltdown as best as possible. You have so much grace and have raised a great boy! He is so cute!
All moms can relate to this story! Being a mom IS so hard. You are doing an awesome job at it though! 🙂
This insane heat is enough to make any toddler or mom extremely cranky!! We need a cold front asap!!
You may question yourself, but that little “I’m sorry mommy”, is all the proof you need that you are doing a great job!
I really enjoy reading your blog. I read several and some only post the “good stuff”, which I’m not complaining about, they only want to put specific info out there and that’s what works for them and it’s their blog etc but I do so enjoy yours because I can relate. I only have 1 child (almost 3 yr old head strong girl) but sometimes I feel like I have 3 or 4 ha. I just like that your posts are real and true to your day to day. I often feel like I can picture you in your situations because I can relate so much. Anywho, thanks for being so real! 🙂
I have boys similar in age to yours, so I completely understand! I try to take solace in knowing that kids are all just wired the same, so other moms completely understand when you are struggling with a screaming toddler-so no need for embarrassment 🙂
Out of curiosity is “discipline Hudson” code for “spank Hudson”? Because, if it is, I’m wondering how you do that in public locations. Our daughter is only 11 m/o so we haven’t had this issue yet…but we believe in spanking as a tool in disciplining, and I’ve wondered how you handle that in public. Also, even though they might be incredibly embarrassing and also frustrating {especially when you’re trying to go somewhere and your hands are full}, just remember that every mother, since the dawn of time, who has had a toddler, has experienced the same thing….you’re in good company! =)
I have a 3 year old and a 2 month old (born May 4) and I felt like you were telling my story! My 3 yr old just got done with swim lessons and I had the same exact story (more than once) during those 3 weeks! It is hard being a mommy but hearing that other moms go through the same things helps me get through the hard days when I feel like I am falling short. Thanks for always keeping it real and sharing the bad with the good! I love your blog! I have a blog too if you want to check it out! http://amber-bugsbarbiesandweddedbliss.blogspot.com/ p.s. we follow babywise and childwise too!
Amber
I think this is such a great story! I’m sure you probably hated it at that point in time but it just seems like such a real story of being a parent.
You are a great mama! You do an amazing job raising a godly family! These days will come & go but God will always be with us 🙂 love you
My little angel decided she didn’t want to get dressed. Total meltdown, kicking screaming, etc. Finally I decided to pick her up and put her in her car seat in nothing but her diaper. I told her she was going to the grocery store without clothes since she didn’t feel like getting dressed. She screamed all the way there, but when we arrived in the parking lot she calmed down, let me dress her in the back seat and we had a very pleasant shopping trip. And ya know what? She’s never given me a hard time (about getting dressed anyway!) again. That was about 2 years ago. You just have to stay consistent. And most importantly remember that it happens to everyone at some point!
Motherhood is the HARDEST JOB. I am a teacher by career and am blessed to be going part time next year to work. I almost feel “guilty” and “spoiled” when I tell people that, but then when I am home ALL day with 2 kids and no adult interaction I am reminded that although it is a priviledge to be with my kids it is also HARD, HARD work.
I must be honest and say that the meltdowns don’t end at 6 1/2 either. My daughter will have a complete 16 year old moment and sometimes I feel it’s even harder to deal with than when she was 2 because she is so smart! Ahh! I guess I have to look forward to it all over again with my 8 month old. I’m here for ya!!
What a sweet post. All us mama’s go through those moments, and it is so important to keep our eyes on Jesus.
Precious. That would make me tear up for sure. Keep trucking mommie – you’re doing a great job! And I’m sure all those new mommies out there are loving you for putting it out there, warts and all! We need more mommies to talk about the ups and downs of parenting and remind people it’s not all rainbows and sparkle. But of course, those moments that do sparkle always outshine the challenging times.
I’m so scared of the tantrums in our future 🙁 But I guess it all comes along with the hugs, kisses, and loveys.
Oh my goodness! I would like to say I remember those days, but even though my kids are older we STILL have days like that! I know I am too easy on my kids, I do discipline, but I have always believed that although some tantrums are just that, most of the time there is a reason that the toddler just doesn’t know how or can’t communicate. I really think most of them are out of frustration. Boys are funny too, there was probably a specific reason that toy was so important to him. You are right, God humbles us everyday! My oldest just got her license and I am having a really hard time dealing with her being out on the road by herself, but I just have to keep reminding myself it doesn’t matter if I am with her or not, God is! It’s still hard though!
Thanks for your honesty….believe me when I tell you that you spoke to MANY moms today.
Aww goosebumps, you are doing a wonderful job and he is a cutie…if it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure it was a solid year of those meltdowns before my youngest ever took it to the next step by apologizing!! I think he had ME in tears about 3 times a week…that was a rough year.
I love your blog…thank you for sharing with us
Ugh, it can be so hard. I love that he apologized to you though. 🙂