A few days ago, I got a comment that asked why an almost 2-year-old like Hudson needs to go to school and the commenter suggested that I am a SAHM so he doesn’t have to or need to go to school.
So I thought I would talk about it here. Why Hudson goes to school, the benefits of going to school for him and for me. If you can even call three hours a day, two days a week “school.”
thanks to Emily and Cate for the “I Heart Tulsa” tee shirt!
When I first found out that our church offered a week day program and it started for one year olds, I was so excited. Two days a week for three hours a day, Hudson could go play with his friends, sing songs, do crafts, and get some socialization. And I have never regretted that decision for a second.
As a stay-at-home-mom, I understand my responsibilities of raising my child(ren), maintaining the home, etc. I also have found ways to keep myself plugged in with the community and involved in church while maintaining friendships and other responsibilities. These things are good for me. Just like going to school and seeing his friends is good for Hudson.
I want him to be prepared for kindergarten even though that’s a ways off. By going to school twice a week, Hudson knows the names of all of his friends. He knows how to line up and walk down the hall single file. He knows how to follow directions and do what is expected of him. And, to me, those are all wonderful little lessons to learn.
One of the most important things is that getting out of the house, listening to another “authority” figure, and getting a change of scenery and some interaction makes Hudson appreciate things at home more. He is so happy on school days. He isn’t bored at home or bored with me. He loves his toys and loves playing with me.
I’m not saying that the days that we don’t have school are rough. But we get really creative with how we spend our time in order to drag out fun activities and keep things interesting.
I want to teach Hudson things and play with him and be the loving, supportive mommy that he needs. But I also know that he needs to get those things from other adults, too. He needs to know that teachers care about him and want to keep him safe. He needs to know that he can trust other adults and have those experiences other than just on Sunday mornings in the nursery.
Hudson is adaptable because of school and I just love to watch him wave goodbye to his friends and call them by their names.
While Hudson is at school, I have an opportunity to run around and take care of some of my chores, answer emails, return phone calls, take care of some of my volunteer responsibilities, and take some time for me. If Hudson wasn’t at school, I’d be trying to sneak these things in during our day at home. I want to be able to give him my undivided attention when he is at home, so having a few hours where he is well cared for and having fun gives me an opportunity to get some things done.
If you are a stay-at-home-mom and have an opportunity to send your child to a Mother’s Day Out type program or a preschool where they go for a few hours a week, I highly recommend it. I can’t say that Hudson is going to be the smartest or the brightest because of this decision, but I know that for right now it works wonderfully for us and he is a happy little boy.
So, unapologetically, I am a stay-at-home-mom who sends my child to “school” for six hours a week. For his benefit and for mine.
I agree that school is good for both the baby and the mommy. It is never too early to learn things and school settings are able to provide many more learning opportunities than I can at home.
Very thoughtful post–I love his shirt!
Very well said Erin….I too am a SAHM who has had her child in “preschool” since she turned 2. We were struggling with her and temper tantrums and our pediatrician recommended that we try this type of program. Since day one we have both been at peace. It is nice to have her socialize with other children her age and to look to someone else when it comes to an authority figure. We will send her off to Kindergarten in the fall and I am 100% sure that she is ready (though I’m not so sure for myself 🙁
Never ever feel like you have to defend why you do what is best for you and your child!!!
I completely agree – it is wonderful that Hudson can spend time socializing with other kids. That is so important. I think “school” at this age is for learning to get along with others, be part of a group, cope with being away from mom – all good things! Since my daugher does not go to daycare, as soon as I think she is ready, I am going to sign her up for some sort of “school,” so she gets comfortable being away from me (she is only 9 months now). I would hate for her first experience away from me to be kindergarten when she is 5/6 years old.
Makes complete sense to me. When my daughter is older I would love for her to have an opportunity to participate in a “school” environment. I don’t think it is ever to early to start them learning about the school environment.
I am shaking my head in agreement! I don’t have kids, but I’m a teacher and I worked with little ones before getting a job in elementary schools. Hudson is lucky because he gets the best of both worlds, time at home with you and time in a school setting. It’s not an option for everyone and I think you are blessed to be able to do it this way!
I taught Kindergarten for 4 years before teaching 2nd grade …and let me tell you… we could always tell the kids that went to a “pre-school” or mother’s day out program. Their social skills, academics, listening skills, multi-direction understanding, etc..etc. were mostly higher. It is such an extra benefit to your child to do what you are doing. He will thank you for all his new friends and “play time” and his future teacher will thank you for such a well rounded boy! 🙂
I think that the school socialization aspect is very important! I think it’s great that he goes!
Well said! I totally affirm you in what you’re doing. I work from home and send my son to a sitter two days a week. I’ve thought about keeping him home with me and trying to get my work done during naps or while he’s “busy.” But honestly, I like to give him my full attention when he’s at home rather than getting frustrated with or ignoring him.
I have a friend who’s son never interacts with other kids and he is almost two. You can tell he is never around other children and I think it is so important for socialization to be learned. Thanks for sharing this on here. So many “mom-topics” are so controversial. The bottom line is – we all have to do what is best for our children and our families and that is going to be different for each and every family. Thanks for blogging!
My mom was a SAHM but, I went to “school” too, and I’m so glad that I did! I remember my first day of kindergarten and one of my “school” mates was in my same class–that made it so much less scary for me. And I remember doing crafts and having “graduation” all those fun things. It was a good experience for me and I fully support that little Hudson gets to go to “school”!
What a great concept! Social interaction for children is so important in development and it is wonderful that your church has a program to do that! He will be able to learn and live in Christ as well! What a blessing this is and for someone to say otherwise is odd! I commend you for all that you do!
Oh Erin, I couldn’t agree more! I stay at home and my oldest (who will be 4 next week!) goes to school twice a week. And next year he will go three days while his sister (who will be 3) will go two. I love it. My oldest was painfully shy with strangers before he started school and I have seen such a change in his social interaction since he started! Plus, he has learned more than I could ever teach him because his teachers are skilled at teaching the little ones. I reinforce it all at home, but the things thay do are amazing! Not to mention the fact that I get more one on one time with my daughter and the baby while he is at school. And next year he will get more one on one time when his sister is at school. I think it’s win-win for sure!
As always, I love how real you keep it! Parenting, mothering, pregnancy, are such individual things, and yet, somehow (as women??) we often get to wrapped up in concern and fear about what other think and how they perceive what we do. I really appreciate that you share your experiences and observation so honestly with the interwebs! I’m sure my future kiddos thank you too! 😉
I love your post!
I am in a similar situation but not quite. I work full time and my daughter goes to day care. Some of my family members think it’s awful that she goes to day care and I have to remind them constantly that one – I need to work for financial reasons and that two – she learns a lot from day care. I get really defensive and tired of having to explain myself.
I am still in shock that someone commented that. . .who questions preschool?
Love this post. Makes me feel soooo much better about taking my little boy to day care. I work full-time and don’t really have a choice, but it doesn’t make it any easier. As much as I miss my time with him, I’m so thankful for everything that he is learning. He is so social, engaging and seems to be learning so much from his teachers and friends. If I ever have the opportunity to stay home with him, I think it would be wise to send him to a program a couple times a week. It is just good for everyone.
Amen!! Thank you Erin for this post!!! I currently do not have children but my mother was a SAHM and i was sent to “school” when i was a Hudson’s age and so did my sister. We turned out just fine and in fact i remember those days at school and i’m grateful that my mother and my father chose to socialize me early and i do feel as if i got a head start on learning!! I believe all of the reasonings you gave in your post help to instill confidence in children and that is something that is invaluable these days especially when you consider the world that we live in!! thank you so much for your honesty and for keeping it real!!!
Why do people have to be so negative? Better yet, why do they feel the need to post their negative comments? Erin ALWAYS follow your gut, ALWAYS!
Erin, I’m so thankful for you! Your blog is such an encouragement, and I’m sorry you even feel you should explain that choice! I married into a family that doesn’t really believe in leaving their children with others. It has been so hard on me as I transition my new son into just the nursery. Moms are PEOPLE, not just a mother. We need time to recoup, rest, & enjoy life–even if it is for one hour while we sit in church and others take care of our bundle. It doesn’t mean you love them any less. It just means that you are a better mom for taking some time for yourself. Good for you!!
Leah (aka Mrs. Confident)
WOW, still suprises me that parents can be so judgemental of one another when we should be supporting each others choices even when we don’t think it would be right for our family. I think any interaction your child has with others only serves them well, and better still, some alone time as a SAHM is needed and deserved and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. My kids are 9 and 10 now and are much more independent, but I remember the days of just longing for an hour or two alone then by the end of the time apart I missed them so much that I had renewed energy for focusing on them.
Alison
My 17 mo. old daughter started Mother’s Day Out last month. We went to sign her up for the fall and there was an opening in the 1 year old classroom. It has been the best thing for her to go to “school” a few hours a week! She will sing songs at home, even if we aren’t sure which ones she is singing, and I know she is loving being able to play with her new friends and participate in crafts! Best decision we could have made! I can’t believe someone questioned you sending Hudson to MDO. It is a wonderful opportunity for mommy and child!
I agree with Samma. Who would even question the benefits of preschool? I may be biased because my mom is a preschool director, but you can’t tell me that socialization, interacting with other authority figures and even a break in routine is good for kids to learn to adjust to school. And for moms – I’m not one, but I can imagine that every mother needs to be able to take a few hours in a week to do some things both for herself and for the home. I love how you put it in the perspective of being able to give Hudson your undivided attention. I don’t think you should have to justify yourself to anyone.
My baby is at MDO twice a week as well. I went from having a 7 year old in 1st grade (and myself having a LOT of free time), to having a newborn and it was SHOCKING to say the least! MDO has been a life saver. My baby gets so excited on the days he is going to school. He is soooo bored at home with me all day! It does us both a WORLD of GOOD!
I don’t have children, so I’m sure people will say “I just don’t understand”, but I do HOPE to have children someday, and I FULLY believe I would want them in “school” as a growing, learning, adapting toddler. Parents who do not socialize their children are doing a huge disservice to themselves and their children. I work the nursery at my church and I can tell the kids who come in easily and are excited to be there and play with the other kids vs. the children who do not leave their parents often and are scared at the thought of being “left” by their parents. It’s healthy for them to learn that they will be safe and that their parents WILL come back. And I can only imagine the few hours of time you have to knock out your errands and get things done. Healthy all around! PS…if people don’t agree with it, then go raise your kids the way you want to! Don’t worry how others raise theirs! Hudson is CLEARLY not misstreated! Ha.
So well put, Erin. I’m not a mother–but I hope to be one day and I know that I’m going to want to send my children to a MDO or pre-school program. It’s obvious that the benefits for sending a child to a MDO or pre-school program are copious for both the parents and the child.
Thanks for taking the time to explain ~ now you have me really interested! I honestly didn’t know there were programs like that for such small amounts of time and I think it’s AWESOME! I love being a SAHM, but for all the reasons you shared, I think something like that could be such a great thing to find. I’m going to be looking into options here in Va Beach now! 🙂
Beautifully written! I remember going to preschool for two years before kindergarten and my mother was a SAHM. It does wonders for the child and the mother. I plan on doing the same for my children. So glad you wrote this post to confidently stand by your decision. Bravo!
Way to go for being unapologetic. I do work, but even if I was a SAHM I would absolutely send my Hudson to his school. Like you so eloquently said, it teaches the many life lessons and lets them have a different outlet for fun, as well as giving you an opportunity to get what you need to get done. My Hudson loves school and really missed it last week during Spring Break. He talks about his friends and teachers all the time, and really has learned alot too!
No matter how fun you may be, it’s important for your child to be exposed to other adult figures and playmates. Play groups and play dates are fun and oh, so beneficial but there’s something to be said for preschool!
Never let anyone make you feel guilty for the decisions you make for YOUR family!
I work part time, so my daughter has to go to day care for part of each day. She seems to love watching what the big kids are doing, and she follows them around now that she’s mobile. I’m really glad that she has that time during the week to be around other kids!
I’m a teacher, so when I’m home this summer, I’d love to find a MDO or something similar so she doesn’t miss out on that interaction.
Good for you! I am a working mom and completely agree that kids (no matter if the Mommy works inside the home or outside) NEED and even crave interaction with other kids. It’s so good for them and you will be able to spot those children who stayed home 100% with Mommy or Daddy on the first day of kindergarten.
Once every few weeks, the hubs and I have a date night (and even an occasional entire weekend). I have caught tons of flak for that since “I am away from my kids all day, how can I possibly “need” time away?” I will tell you that, while I love my girls more than anything in this entire world, a few hours of dinner with my husband without the “sit down/don’t throw straw paper/no you cannot have Dr.Pepper” does me so good. The girls LOVE their baby sitter and when we get home, they are happy.
It’s a “re-charge of the batteries” for both them and us. Travis and I are home and ready to tackle the week ahead with the girls, while also keeping up the “us” in our marriage. The girls are happy to see us and feel the same way.
I hope no one has made you question your decision. You are a wonderful Mommy and should never feel like what you do in the best interest for your child is wrong.
LOVE IT! We sent our 2 year old so “school” 2x per week and it was the best decision EVER! Now she is heading to Kindergarten this fall. She is bright, she is confident, she is ready. And I have no regrets. Happy Tuesday!
I couldn’t agree with you more Erin! And for the people that put guilt on SAHMs for that decision need to keep their opinions to themselves! I wish so badly we could have kept kyah in mdo. It was the best thong for all of us! She loved the interaction, I loved the ‘me’ time even if it was spent on working my real estate stuff, And I was so refreshed which was a lerk for Dustin to come home to! I think people are often closed minded and think why have date nights our parents didn’t or why send your kid to this or that program. Our parents didn’t. But to me those are both benefits of what make us better parents! Sorry Im rambling now! Ha! Great post!
Great response to that commentor. My son goes to “school” 3 days a week and he loves it! I saw his language improve greatly when he started as well as his listening skills. He goes for longer days since I work on the days he is at school but I still see such wonderful benefits from school!
I think that commenter was rude and judgmental. I plan on doing the same thing you’re doing when Babe is a little older. He needs to be around other children. And for heaven’s sake – I am obv. “doing my job” because I have made lesson plans for him. Seriously. He has subjects that we work on every day – like home school for babies!
I’ve never thought twice when reading your posts about why you have Hudson in school at such a young age, but I have to say that this post was so well written and makes complete sense. I loved what you said about wanting to give him your undivided attention when you two are hanging out together, instead of taking him along on your errands. I just have to say that I think you are a great mom!
Good for you!!! I think it’s excellent that he goes to “school” and learns how to interact with other kids, learn, and have fun all at the same time! I’m sure he loves it too! Being a SAHM is hard work and you deserve a break just as much as anyone! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for this decision! Only you know what is right for you and your family. When KP gets a little older I fully intend on enrolling her in some sort of “school” as well.
I am a SAHM mom to an 11 month old, and she goes to a MDO program one day a week and she’ll go 2 days a week starting in the fall. I can’t tell you how amazing it has been for both her and I. It re-engergizes me for the entire week and I get an entire day to do things for me, and things around the house that are just a LOT easier without someone crawling after me! I am always so surprised at people who make such judgments about others such as the commenter on your previous post. Being a SAHM is more work than I ever thought possible. I love every minute of it, but everyone needs a break, even the child. I think Hudson sounds like a great kid, keep it up.
I agree! I have my daughter in preschool and my other little girl will start this fall. She is more than ready for kindergarten, and she has learned so much about herself and the world around her! And there is certainly something to be said for that other authority figure. Listening to a teacher just isn’t the same as listening to (and learning from) a parent.
SO well-written and thought out. I don’t have any children (yet) but I think what you said makes complete sense. It’s parents’ responsibility to teach their children all of these things, and that doesn’t always mean teaching them yourself, it means allowing them to be socialized and learn from others, ie. teachers, the classroom, etc. You are so obviously a wonderful SAHM; Hudson’s lucky!
I think that him going to school is a great idea! Especially at such a young age. He won’t be that child kicking and screaming on his first day at kindergarten 🙂 It also gives you a nice little break!
What you said just make so much sense (I don’t have kids), that I have to wonder why someone would even ask about his school. I find this very weird. I guess sometimes, common sense as to the “why” does not prevail and people feel the need to ask questions that have a common sense answer!
Great response, Erin 🙂 I teach 4 and 5-year-olds during my church’s children’s worship service, and it certainly makes my job easier when the kids have had some preschool experience!
Wow! I too am SHOCKED that someone would question preschool. Our church didn’t offer MDO, but offered a CDO (childs day out) that started at 2.5, and as a stay at home mom of two, I jumped on the bandwagon faster than you could say, giddy-up. I know that there are moms out there that think sending your child to school makes them “grow-up too quickly”- but, please. My son NEEDED the social interaction, he has learned so much in the last year that I would never question my decsion to send him to “school” for 6 hours a week. Good post!
I’ve said this to you on Twitter, but I agree with you 100%. Come June, I will be a SAHM and I totally plan on putting my son into some sort of “school” program when he’s around 2. Kids need to socialize with other kids, learn class rules, etc. and SAHMs need time to themselves as well and there is nothing wrong with doing that.
Do not apologize for sending Hudson to “school”! This is an excellent opportunity for him to socialize and be around other children. As a former Kindergarten teacher of three years I say thank you because there is a big difference between children going into Kindergarten who didn’t go to some kind of school prior and those who did go. The ones who did go to school were much more adaptivable (is that a word?) and social and even academically ready. Those who didn’t go anywhere, but stayed home were a lot less social and easily overwhelmed with everything that school consists of. I could literally pick out those who had prior school experience and those who didn’t without even looking at their history. Now as a SAHM, I look for every opportunity to socialize my eight month old. When I feel he is ready I will definately be sending him off to some kind of MOPS of preschool for a few hours a week. Anyways, that is my two sense. I don’t see anything wrong with what you are doing with Hudson. I applaud you for looking out for his best interests. Not to mention we Mama’s need a few hours here and there. It’s healthy for both mother and child. Hudson obviously loves school too, which makes it even better!
I’m not a mother but I completely see the benefit of what you’re doing with Hudson. Stay-at-home-moms need some “me time” too, and children need that socializationand change of scenery as well. I hope that when I have kids there’s something like this available to us!
Erin, I absolutely adore you! Your honesty and confidence as a mom is something I really admire about you. I don’t have children yet but when I do I hope I can have the same grace and composure that you do. None of us are perfect but I truly believe that you truly the best mom you can be.
As someone who has taught both pre-school and kindergarten I 110% agree with you’re decision to send Hudson to school. I am a huge advocate for early education. You a giving Hudson an experience that will continue to benefit him for years to come. You completely hit the nail on the head with the importance of socialization, rule following and trusting others at his young age. I wish all mom (working and SAHM) shared your value of education. And equally as important you are certainly Hudson’s mommy but you are still Erin and deserve to have time to yourself. Giving yourself that time allows you to be the amazing mom that you!!
I’m not trying to validate your decisions, because I don’t think you need that. I just wanted to offer my support and congratulate you on the job you’re doing. You have given me so much encouragement through this blog that I feel this the absolute least I could do!
Ha, sorry for all the typos above…I wrote this on my iPhone : /
Erin, I am jealous for 2 reasons. 1. First Mate is currently only 3 months old and there is no “school” for her. I sure hope that this time next year, I will be able to sign her up for something like Hudson is going to now. 2. Your son is wearing shorts and a tee shirt on St. Patrick’s Day. We need some warmth up here in the Northeast something BAD right now!!!
I find it interesting that someone would even ask you that. Aside from the obvious benefits of socializing with other children, I can’t believe people would not understand that even the SAHM needs a break.
This is very well-said. I agree completely. And Hudson is SO cute in those pictures. I love those cheeks. 🙂
Totally agree – I think some people have the wrong ideas of SAHMs. My daughter is 2.5 and I have been a SAHM since day one. It is a job I love but doesn’t allow a lot of “free time” for mommy. By “free time”, I mean running to the cleaners, grocery store and bank…not getting facials or shopping (which I would love to do both). It’s crazy how much more I can accomplish on my own versus having a toddler with me. I have an unfortunate situation where my husband travels Tuesday-Friday every week. We are moving but as soon as we get settled she will be attending a MDO. I believe it will be beneficial to both of us. She loves being around other kids.
Although you totally didn’t have to write this post, it’s very well said I appreciate your insight and honesty on being at SAHM
I think the real question is, “Why WOULDN’T you send your child to school??”
Someone who would ask what that person asked obviously has NO idea what raising kids is like. I enjoyed your post- it was beautifully written!
Agreed. The socialization skills are so important!
Excellent response, Erin. You always seem to handle “questions” like this with such grace.
i don’t comment often, but i had to chime in here. i loved your post. i 100, not make that 1000% agree that “school” is a good idea. i have many more reasons than this, but these are the top 3 that popped in to my head.
1. there is a difference between a babysitter, and “school”. i hate, HATE when people inter-change the two. my son goes to a daycare 5 days a week, 6 hours a day that teaches preschool. some daycares do not do school. it drives me bonkers that people can compare the two. Every teacher in that building has a teaching degree or is certified (something our state passed in to a law a few years ago). they have schedules and the teachers have to do lesson planning.
2. the preschool my son goes to- i used to teach there. its not an easy job and you dont get paid very well (even as a teacher with a 4 year degree, part of the reason i dont work there any more!). it takes a very special person to do that kind of job and stick with it. its not just a bunch of wild monkeys running around with nothing to do all day. he is getting benefit out of going.
3. my son loves loves loves school. he calls it school, he knows all of his friends, has learned so much more than i could have taught him being home all day (that is, if i were at SAHM). i LOVE your point about listening to other adults. we signed up my son for swim lessons in oct. he was ~20 months old when he started. do you know that he was the only younger kid there that went right in to the water with his teacher? i know my kid has no fear, but the fact he stays in an olympic-sized pool, alone with a “stranger” for 20 minutes and listens to her is amazing (we do private lessons). he trusts her 100% in the water (how freaky water can be for some kids!), that she will take care of him, and he responds so well to her- speaks volumes to me about how him going to preschool is already paying off!
I have been home with my 3 kids for the past 7 years and all three have done preschool programs and have been better for it. I think it is very easy for people who don’t stay home to glamorize the job. I do not in any way regret my choice to stay home but that doesn’t mean I am not aware how difficult it has been at times to be focused on my children 24/7. Everyone needs to makes the choices that will be best for their family. A couple of hours a week for children to play with other kids in a safe and loving environment so mom can run errands or sit on the couch staring at the wall (yeah right!) is a wonderful thing.
It’s healthy for Mom and Baby. I’m in the same boat! I am a much better wife, mom and friend with a few hours to myself. I never feel I have to justify my decision. Shame on that commenter…..
wow, that commenter would have a field day with me, then! My son goes to school and GASP stays for lunch bunch sometimes as well, and I stay at home.
Erin, I just love how patient and graceful your blog entries are. You could have responded in so many different ways, but you were such a LADY in your explanation.
I’m often a follower just in my Google Reader, but had to click over and let you know why i continue to read BEB… you are a wonderful example of a strong Christian woman.
As a (former) kindergarten teacher I LOVE that your one-year-old can stand in line, walk down the hallway single file, and listen to another authority figure. Some parents definitely don’t think ahead like this. In my opinion, you’re right on with letting Hudson have some “school” time every week! Obviously you know that it’s only your opinion that matters, though. 🙂
When I have kids they will be going to a preschool program. M is a teacher (and I will be as soon as I graduate & get a job) so we will both be working fulltime. We do have the option to leave our future children with grandparents but I love the idea of them learning social norms and interacting with other children. I hate to say it this way but I want my kids exposed to everything such as germs before starting kindergarten so they can built up their immune system. As a current master’s student getting my license to teach I have been studying a lot about the developmental system of children. They need exposure to other children at a younger age so they have a frame of reference to base the world on.
AMEN to all of the above!!!!
I think it’s great! My mom was a SAHM and she sent us to “school” starting at age 2. She probably would have sent us before if she knew of an option for age 1.
Hi Erin. I am THE commenter. When, I posted it, I genuinely was curious about school for a 2 year old. Where I live, we don’t have anything like that, just daycare, so I was wondering if that was the same thing. Looking back at my comment, I could see how it could be misinterpreted since it was rather brief. But I also have a toddler running around and am pregnant, so I didn’t take the time that I obviously should have to expand on my comment. There were NO ill intentions in it, and I guess that is between God and I, but I am sorry that it caused a source of offence for you. I see it this way – being mothers from different parts of the country or world, we have so much to learn from each other and I’m always trying to get ideas to improve on my parenting. I had never heard of “school” for a 2 year old, and I am glad you explained it in this post – that was my intent from the beginning. I never once suggested that he didn’t need it – I just didn’t know what it was about!
I pray that God gives you the strength and energy to get through these last weeks of pregnancy, because I know it is not easy. I will also pray for a safe delivery for your little one.
Blessings,
Lisa
Totally agree! Actually, most all of the SAHM’s I know have their kids in MDO!
Agree wholeheartedly.
Ok, first of all, could he be any cuter in that green?! I don’t have kids, but I really do see the benefit in giving him the opportunity to socialize. He’s obviously happy & well adjusted etc. But the bigger benefit I see is that you get a little time to, ya know, not lose yourself. A lot of my friends are SAHM to small kids and have no social life anymore, no breaks, no fun and they’re miserable.
Awesome post! and Adorable little boy!
I myself am not a SAHM, but if I was I know that I would definitely want to put my little girl in a MDO program so she could socialize with other kids and also to allow myself to have some time to focus on things I need to get done or just to have a little time for me. My little girl goes to daycare because my husband and I both work full time, and as much as I would love to stay home with her, I know that she is learning so much from her teachers and the other children while she is there. You do not need to justify doing what is best for your child and for yourself 🙂
Love your blog! 🙂
Well said! Now who is the attorney, you or TC? I think you would also make a good one…I rest my case.
Amen! If we had a MDO program where I am now my little girl would be in it. It was one of the biggest shocks that I had when we moved from the South to a relatively small Midwestern town. In Memphis it seemed like EVERYONE had a MDO program, here there is not a single one. I can’t even find an independent preschool that she can do before the age of 3 (she’s almost 21 months right now). Before that there is one place that has a Mommy and Me program for 2 year olds…ugh! Don’t ever doubt you are doing the right thing for both of you. I know it’s wrong to be jealous, but in this instance, I am!
In my humble opinion, that was a rude comment you got. A child’s socialization is INCREDIBLY important. If you do it from a very young age (like you are!!!), it will only benefit him when he goes to kindergarten. As I am a kindergarten teacher, I want to give you a standing ovation for letting him spend a few hours in a school setting from this early age. Learning to respect and adult that isn’t a parent is SO important. I can easily point out which of my students have been to school before (and are more comfortable in my class as a result), and which are not. Bravo, Erin. Thank you!!
I work for the Early Learning Coalition in Florida..and let me just say good for you! He’s exactly where he needs to be! That interaction with his peers and his teachers is key to developing some fundamental skills. I just don’t understand some people!
First… I don’t think a parent needs to explain to others (and others should not expect an explanation) for making choices that best suits your family. For a person to make the comment that she/he doesn’t get why H goes to school b/c your a SAHM, in my opinion, is rude.
My son started “school” at the age of 2… like H… and went 3 hrs for two days. Now, he’s 3 and goes 3 hrs for 3 days. He loves it. It’s helped him overcome some shyness and start to be more open to new people. He gets to go on fun field trips (which I go with him). It’s been a wonderful thing for my child. My situation is a little different in that my mom keeps my boys but it’s almost as good as me keeping them. It was the right decision for us and frankly that’s all that matters. Sounds like “school” is a great decision for both you and Hudson. I would imagine since you’re with your child pretty much day in and day out, the time away gives you both a breather from each other…..
Oh girl…
Not to defend this person AT ALL, but I think that people make comments like that out of jealousy a lot of the time. Obviously this person is wishing they were as good of a Mom as you are- or had something that you have. I really feel sorry for this person because I wonder what kind of Mother they are to their kids at this point in their life, if they are trying to knock others down?
You are totally right to send sweet Hudson to “school” for a few days each week. It makes us better SAHMs when we get a little break from one another! Afterall, this is the only job that I know of that requires 24 hours/day 7 days/week for no pay. ;o)
I’m glad you did this post!!!
Way to rock the honest truth! So well put! 🙂
So well put! MDO is a perfect way for your child to grow and learn away from home and give Moms a little time to get grown up things done. My son was very shy and didn’t like leaving my side ever (even for me to run to the store & leave him with his Dad!) MDO taught him that Mommy always comes back and how to play with other children his age. I think it’s a great program and you shouldn’t have to justify or apologize for your choices.
Great post Erin! I am a SAHM now but was a Pre-school teacher before our baby girl was born AND I totally agree that school is an amazing gift to give your child. Our baby Girl will eventually go to a similar program when she is around Hudson’s age and I know that it will be the best experience for her! Children grow and develop at the optimum level when they are exposed to a variety of learning enviornments and school for a few hours 2 days a week is one important way of enriching their development!!
P.S. I LOVE the I heart Tulsa tee!!! My hubby and I live in Dallas now but were raised in Tulsa…I have to get one for my Maddie!
I teach school so I’m off during the summers, but guess what? I unashamedly tried to get my 3 year old into school for two days a week three hours a day this summer. Unfortunately the new preschool he’s starting during the fall, does not have any summer openings 🙁 I used to feel ashamed because I wasn’t a stay at home mom, but then I realized how much my son loves school. During spring break last week he asked me 1000 times when he could go back to school. It is no one else’s business whether you work or not, whether you are a SAHM who sends who son to school or not – it’s between you and your husband. Sorry but it bothers me when other people feel the need to make snarky comments.
Thank you for posting this! My husband and I were just talking about this subject last night, and you have put into words exactly how I feel as a SAHM of a 21 month old. I am continuing to look into schools for her for next fall… I only wish that our church had a preschool that started sooner than 3 years old.
This is a great post, Erin! I think it’s wonderful Hudson goes to school. It sounds like there are a lot of benefits for everyone involved!
AMEN!!! the benefits for both mom and toddler are huge! I guess the commenter didn’t actually mean to suggest you shouldn’t do school but just hadn’t heard of it. but truthfully, there is a lot of misunderstanding and lack of respect for sahm’s. I have a working mom”friend” who questions me all the time about my day and how I spend my time. she is partly jealous since she cannot stay home but still! some people just aren’t very thoughtful about what raising children, and running the house entails. good post!
Hi again! I wish people would read my comment, because there was no ill motive in all of this! I was just trying to understand what school was all about for a toddler – no personal attacks whatsoever! I wasn’t saying you shouldn’t do it, I had just never heard of it where I live. So, I wish the assumptions some people are making would stop. I never once said it was a bad or wrong idea, I was just curious what it was all about. Thanks again!
I couldn’t agree with you more. Socialization is important at such a young age. As well as separation from us. I am from Texas and MDO programs are very popular down there. We live in New Jersey now and no one has ever really heard of it. Fortunately, our church has a Mom’s Morning Out program. It’s just one day a week for two hours but I’ll take it!
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. I am due with #3 on May 17 so it has been fun following along with you! You are going to love being a mommy to two!
Great post. That is ridiculous that anyone would SUGGEST that since you are a SAHM, preschool or MDO isn’t necessary. Up until 2 months ago, we had a full time nanny for our 3 year old. (I work full time). I felt it was TOTALLY necessary to have our child in socialized activity beyond the nanny. MDO and The Little Gym fit the bill. Looking forward to Pre-preschool in the fall too!
My mother was a stay at home mom and I always went to school, and GASP, also had a nanny. I am not married and do not have children, but believe it is very important for children to socialize and learn as well as take authority from other people. It is also important for a mother to have some time of her own too. My parents were and still are very involved in my life and I have never felt neglected because I went to school a few hours a week at a young age or for having someone to help me with things when my mother was busy. Part of life is all about about experiences and that begins with socialzing at a young age in my opinion!
Erin, I honestly believe you are taking an overly strong stance by projecting such a defensive post. I have seen how your commenter has stepped forward and apologized for how you misconstrued her statement and took it as being ill-content. For her to come back to your blog for a second time to defend herself clearly shows that she is now disheartened at how you perceived her words, and furthermore, rightfully feels undeserving of the comments that are being spewed towards her. Erin, this isn’t the first time that you have overreacted. You are very opinionated in the blogging circuit yet when someone else offers up a comment of their own that doesn’t necessarily align with yours, you feel as though you are being attacked. Some of your readers say you are being classy and christian-like in your response but they clearly aren’t reading between your berating lines. Not that your posts always need to be well thought out, but try giving people the benefit of the doubt sometimes.
You are so smart to send him to school. As a speech pathologist in an elementary school, I implore everyone who reads this to send your kids to some sort of “School” before kindergarten. You may think you are keeping them from the “bad things” in the world by keeping them at home, but I assure you that when a KG teacher has concerns about a child’s progress at school my first question to them is “Did the child go to a preschool or daycare?” Trust me… we can tell the difference in kiddos who go to such programs before KG!
hi erin.
as an earlychildhood teacher for 20 years, i ‘m thrilled that you have hudson in school. as you said, social skills, dev. of attention span, class procedures and cognitive dev. are all skills that a child learns when going to school in an earlychildhood class. you are on point by putting him in school ! now days some many children start kindergarten with limited socials skills , very limited literacy skills under their belt and no independence, which are all vital for success in school. btw…..love your blog !!!
I’m sorry that the comment made you feel you had to defend your choice. I wholeheartedly agree with many of the comments that have been posted, but just wanted to echo their sentiments again.
I am a teacher and often feel that I get the best of both worlds. I have twin, eleven month old boys who go to a daycare. Even when I will be home in the summer, I plan on taking them to “school,” which is what we call it as well, two days a week for a few hours. They thrive on the routine, the interaction, and love from their teachers and friends. I was surprised by how openly people commented on my decision to return to work. As you noted in an earlier post, there’s something about pregnancy that seems to make some people feel entitled to ask personal questions. I’ve always been self conscience, but motherhood has helped me gain confidence in my decisions and the choices I make for myself and my family. I admire your response.
What a great post (although I can’t believe someone questioned you about this!). I have my daughter in a preschool setting rather than just a “daycare” while I am at work each day and it has been nothing short of wonderful. She is so excited to go there each day and is learning so much! If I didn’t work full time, I would definitely do a 2 or 3 day a week program so that she could receive the same benefits that she is receiving from her school now. You are wonderful and so is that cute little boy of yours!
I put my son into preschool at age 2 and have never regretted it. He is soo social and has never been clingy. I love that he understands when to raise his hand, and how to stand in line. Plus he knows how to share properly and respect others.
As a teacher, I thank you. It really helps when the little ones have had some kind of exposure to a school setting. As a Tulsa girl, I love the shirt!
I think that it’s good to learn that school is a fun place. My Mother has a picture of me running after one of my sisters as she was getting on the bus…I wanted to go SO much. I wanted to be like the big kids. I loved school…every day of it. My SAHM encouraged all of us to learn as much as we could, as often as we could and by any means necessary.
I’m glad Hudson loves school. I hope his love of learning, socially and scholastically, lasts a lifetime!
i wholeheartedly agree with this post! i am a stay-at-home mom to a 3.5 year old girl and a just-turned 1 year old son. my daughter started going to a parents morning out program when she was 9 months old here in carolina. she continued to attend PMO until she aged out of the program at almost age 3. she then began attending “real” preschool. the transition into preschool was extremely smooth and easy and i am convinced her enrollment in parents morning out is to thank for that. the day my son became eligible to attend PMO, i enrolled him as well. one of the best decisions i have made as a parent…
Great post!
I am a SAHM and my daughter goes to a co op preschool. She is in the 2-3 year old program. She goes 2 days a week for 2 hours a day and I work in the classroom one of the days (1/2 the parents are there and we each are in an area, art, imaginative play, sensory, puzzle and floor toys etc.). It is GREAT and we both LOVE it. She loves seeing her preschool friends and it’s nice to have a day where I can get errands done while she is there. It also is nice where I can have a day in the classroom where I am there, but not shadowing her, she still feels independent. Next year she will be in the 3-4 class which is 3 days a week and I am REALLY excited for that extra day 🙂 I think it’s great for kids to be introduced young, the socialization has been AMAZING for my girl. I have learned that people always will have an opinion and as long as you and your husband think it’s what’s best for Hudson, more power to you!!
I think it’s awesome that you send him to “school” so young. You’re absolutely right about all the benefits it provides, and I think nothing but good can come from all those experiences and lessons. On top of it, as you mentioned as well, it’s good for you, too! Even though you’re a stay at home mama, you need some time to yourself and time to get things done without having your eye on your little one 24/7!
I hate to admit it but I am actually a *tad* judgmental of those who don’t seek any kind of part-time “school” or daycare for kids prior to kindergarten or even pre-k… I just think there is so much they can learn from being in that kind of environment and it’s foolish to let them start out behind… if they can’t afford it I suppose that is one thing but I think people should at least check out the options…
Correction – I guess I shouldn’t say prior to pre-school. I suppose I really just meant prior to kindergarten.
I agree with Leann 100%.
Long time reader, first time commenter. I thknk you’re doing a great job- no explanation of what you do & why you do it should be needed. As a mom, you know what’s best for your family & yourself. 🙂
Very well said! I think it’s great for him to get exposure to adults and other children outside of the home. I’m sure it also makes you an even better mother because you have some “me” time while he’s there and when he is home you are ready to give 100% of yourself to him. You are a fantastic mother and you better believe that I am taking notes from you for when I have children one day 🙂
Someone seriously asked that? They either don’t have children or have perfect children. Every Mommy needs sanity time by herself. Plus, every child needs time to learn how to function independantly of Mommy. Gosh! I thought I was outspoken….
I have to say I came back and saw where the person who made the comment initially responded about her comment. That was big of her and she explained that it was a question….not judging you for your decision. That’s what I like about blogging… the many different sources of information. Differences of opinions and different thought processes. Emails and comments can tend to be at times more harsh than writer intended.
I can’t believe that someone ever questioned you. You should not have to defend your choice. I think it all depends on the kid and momma. And I also believe that the community does help to raise a healthy child. So whether community is represented by grandma, another playdate mom, a mothers day out program, nanny, or a full-time preschool, it does not matter as long as the child is loved.
great and thoughtful post…always love reading your posts. and btw….Hudson is super cute in those pics!
I applaude you! Beautifully spoken too. I would love to be able to send my Daughter to a program like that, Im just worried about cost. But goodness Knows I would love even 3 hrs one day a week to claim as my own. Looks like its time for me to look into local programs.
This sounds like a fantastic arrangement to me! Even (and especially!) stay at home moms need and deserve some time to take care of things.
First off, LOVE his shirt! love how cute he looks in it and how happy he is. Second, if he LOVES Tulsa, then he needs to come here and visit his girlfriend Cate. If only they were in the same mothers day out program! Cate loves her MDO and the teachers there love her. they tell her how much they love her and Cate jumps out of my arms to go. She sings songs, paints, draws, prays and has tons of social interaction. Today, I spied on them sharing! She rarely shares at home! I am also a HUGE fan of MDO programs and it is nice to have a tiny bit of time to regroup as a mom. As a FULL time mom!
xoxoxoxoxo
Being a teacher, I can tell you, you are doing the right thing for sure! We can tell when children come into prep (kindergarten) who have never been in a school in their life- and it aint pretty! It’s important for them to learn those lessons that can be taught in school etc early, so don’t listen to the people who are critical of your decisions!
Interesting post and very well put! I am learning that you have to do what works best for yourself and your child…even if others will judge you for your choices. It still stings when someone questions your decisions when it comes to your child.
I am a working mother, and I recently started a new job where I get 3 weeks off every 10 weeks. My son goes to daycare full-time when I am working. He is now 6-months-old and started when he was 3-months-old. A new co-worker asked me if I was going to keep him out of daycare while I was home during my time-off. I responded that he would still go to daycare most days, but I would take him out on some days to spend extra time with him. Her comment to me was, “Bad mommy!” Even though she said it in a jokingly way, I was offended and felt I had to explain my decision immediately. It hurt to be called a “bad mommy” for sending my son to day care even though I had some time off. But I needed some “me” time to rejuvenate and to get some things done around the house that I just can’t do when I am working full-time and/or caring for my son. And I didn’t want to completely disrupt his routine of going to school, and he loves the interaction he gets from the other babies in his class. If sending my son to school some days when I am off makes me a “bad mommy,” then so be it. I am doing the best that I can do for my son, my family, my home, and myself (mostly putting myself last on the things to get done). And the way I see it, it is healthy to take that time to refresh so that I can be the best me for my son and my family! Period!
@Lisa- I’m sorry you want the comments to stop, but you made your bed. You said yourself that you were too busy to explain yourself while creating the post that offended Erin, right? Well my response to that would be that you just shouldn’t have written it to begin with. Now you are upset that people are taking sides with Erin and even went so far as to make a post asking people to stop?! Too funny. Really Lisa, you DON’T have to read Erin’s blog. It is a choice you make. And in addition to that choice, you chose to make a half-hearted comment that was misinterpreted only because you didn’t have time to complete your thoughts and didn’t care enough to just wait until later to make the full post. Apparently now, you’ve offended many women. I hope you will consider “biting your tongue” next time.
Oh @ Erin and everyone else here that agrees with her- AMEN!
I am with you 100%. My kids have started MDO as soon as they were ready. It makes us better Moms.
I had to put my first son in daycare and preschool because I was working. After my second son was born as trying as my days are sometimes I wouldn’t give up these short few years with him to teach him all the things I want to, daily trips to the park, play dates with friends, sleeping in and watching cartoons with him, making him breakfast AND the disastrous clean ups. My list could go on and one. Ya I think that break would be nice but it goes by so fast that now at 3.5 and he’s about to start preschool there’s no turning back any clock and my babies are gone. Call me crazy but all kids know how to stand in a line by kindergarten and if they don’t I bet some of them have been in preschool forever!