I have to let y’all in on a little secret that I’ve been slightly ashamed to even talk about. Are you ready?
This pregnancy (and I) are completely different than my last pregnancy!
There. I said it. I’m not talking about cravings and sickness and all that fun stuff. I’m talking about my life, my expectations, and my preparation.
When I found out I was pregnant with Hudson, everything was “baby, baby, baby.” We went shopping for sweet gowns long before we knew the gender. We bought books to read to the baby. I spent countless hours looking at websites for nursery inspiration. We brainstormed names and talked about possible grandparent names. Our whole life revolved around the planning for this firstborn baby.
Even though I was working very long hours every day, I would let my mind wander to thoughts of holding and rocking my sweet baby. And I’d wonder who he or she would look like.
Now, when I found out I was pregnant with this baby, I was so excited. We had planned for this pregnancy and I was so happy to get a positive test. But after that, I wasn’t really sure what to do. My life went on. My daily life of chasing Hudson, feeding Hudson, entertaining Hudson, caring for our dogs, and managing our household just went right along. Because, honestly, there was no time for it to slow down.
We decided as soon as we found out that I was pregnant, that boy or girl, we wouldn’t be doing another nursery. The nursery would remain as is. So a huge part of the nesting and planning process was not even on the “to do list” for this baby.
I didn’t go out to buy sweet baby gowns and blankets because I wanted to wait to find out the gender. If we were going to have another boy, I really didn’t need to buy a single thing for the baby to wear. And if the baby was a girl, she’d probably wear the same gowns and sleepers that Hudson wore. So the only thing that changed for me in my day-to-day life was my eating habits and my energy level.
If I start to day dream about this baby, I’m not thinking about nurseries and grandparent names. I’m mostly thinking about my boys and how much they’ll love playing together and what crazy shenanigans they’ll get into. I think about how much they’ll love having a best friend for their whole lives.
Hudson is at an age when he’s very demanding of my time. He wants to do so much, but can’t do everything alone. He takes up about 90% of my thoughts and my time.
Just last week I started to feel a little bit sad that we weren’t planning a new nursery for this baby boy and I felt sorry for myself that I was missing out on that process this time.
And then… I felt him move. It took a while to finally feel him move. But at 18 weeks I felt it and I thought, “that will make me slow down and day dream about this baby.” Every time he moves I think about his little hands and feet and how much hair he’ll have. And how he’ll probably be a super wild child and will be giving Hudson a run for his money.
The pregnancy is different. My life is different. The planning process is 100% different this time around. But it’s not any less special or significant. And I absolutely can’t wait to meet this little fella. (Who, by the way, has a name, but we would like to see his face before announcing it.)
I agree, my second pregnancy was sooo much different in that same regard. However, there was no less joy in seeing him for the first time. And now that he is getting older I feel bad that I don’t take the same amount of pictures and video of him, but then I realize I am just so busy enjoying him that I don’t take the time to get the cameras out!
Awwww!
Erin – I’m in the exact same boat. I have an 11 month old, and I’m 16 weeks pregnant with baby #2. With the first one, all of the unknowns about pregnancy and baby care occupied my mind 24-7. With this one, I know what to expect (to a degree!), so I’m not obsessing over baby stuff all the time. I was thinking that once I feel Baby, it might start to enter my mind more often. Just what you said!
You’re lucky that all your boy clothes will work for the new one. Even if we have another girl, Kate’s clothes will be the wrong seasons for her little sister. Not thinking about the nursery until we know the sex. Kate will still be in her crib! Haven’t thought about names much either.
You’re right. It’s totally different this time around.
Beautiful post, Erin! I remember how different it was for me, too. You are right – it is no less special! Reading your post makes me remember how much I loved feeling our babies move, and a little sad that I won’t get to again (we recently decided that our family of four is just perfect, though for a long time we thought we’d add one more to the mix).
Enjoy every moment – and Merry Christmas!
Such a sweet post. My son is 20, but I can still remember him moving inside of me, and the way it made me feel. It made me appreciate what a miracle it was to be pregnant.
I can understand how baby #2 will be so much different. Because with your first, it’s all BRAND NEW. I’m excited to see your sweet little boy! He and Hudson will be absolutely perfect together. So fun!
This post is so sweet! I love that everything that made the first pregnancy special is more or less exclusive to the first. The second pregnancy is special for a whole different set of reasons, and I think that’s wonderful. Hudson’s going to be such a fantastic big brother- I can see why you’re so excited to see your precious boys together.
You made me cry! That’s so sweet and so true! Evie takes up 90% of my thoughts too.
i have a 2 1/2 year old and a 2 month newborn and let me tell you “this is completely different this time around” feeling will continue! I think the main reason is because with the first pregnancy you are considering how it affects YOUR life but with the second pregnancy i think i was most concerned how it was going to affect my daughters life. So i am still adjusting to life with two but from the minute you get pregnant with #2 and probably for the rest of their life you will probably always find yourself thinking how different it all is the second time around!
I agree completely that the second pregnancy is different from the first. I have a 17.5 month old (a girl) and am almost 23 weeks pregnant with my second (a boy). Being pregnant with a boy has been different in and of itself, but like you I don’t have as much to do this time. Our nursery is also remaining a nursery though I will need to buy a few new accent pieces to get the purple out that was in there for my girl. I also don’t have the time to daydream as much as I did. BUT, I find that I am much less nervous this time around. I feel like I am able to enjoy being pregnant more without worrying that something is going to go terribly wrong. Maybe because I’ve done it before? Regardless, this pregnancy definitely seems to be flying by much faster. Hope you’re doing well!
this is such a sweet post!! I can def. see how a first pregnancy would be different then baby #2, but it’s still 100% as special, and I can’t wait to experience everything myself!! I’m excited to meet your new little one through BEB!
I think this post is just precious. Just because the experience is different, it doesn’t make it any less special or meaningful.
Merry Christmas Erin.
i just had some friends who just had their second baby and it was the same thing for them…it’s a very different kind of balancing act when you have 2 kiddos!
That was my experience with my second son, exactly! I don’t think I even started washing clothes until about 6 weeks before he arrived. If you’re like me you’ll find that you are SO MUCH MORE relaxed with the second one as far as schedules, germs etc. He will be just as special, but in a completely different way.
This post totally got me all teary! “My boys” totally got me! They are going to have so much fun! I have a 6 month old and I often think about the next pregnancy, and I think mine will be much like your second. If it’s another boy, we also won’t be doing another nursery or buying clothing, etc. I’m so excited that y’all have a name picked out! Can’t wait to hear it when he makes his appearance 🙂
Although I cannot speak from personal experience, everyone I know was/is like this with their second pregnancy. My friend Megan would alsways forget that she was pregnant! Not to the extent of drinking or anything, but it would slip her mind sometimes mometarily!
Will Hudson move to a big boy bed in the nursery or another room? Or are y’all getting a second crib? You’re nursery is adorable, so I think it’s great to use it again. We also have an 18 month old and as of now he’s staying in his crib until at least 2.5 – 3 because he sleeps great there and we have no reason to change things.
Cate- we’re moving Hudson to a big boy bed in another room. So it will be fun to set up a new room for him. I just don’t want to own two cribs if it would only be for 2 or 3 months anyway. So instead of buying another crib, we’re just moving Hudson along to the next stage. 🙂
Yep, the second pregnancy is very different. We have two kids and I can honestly say, the baby is crazy special (even though he didn’t have a nursery either:). Beautiful post.
It makes complete sense to me.
When my best friend was pregnant with her 2nd, she would comment about how different things were. I’d tell her, “Last time, you didn’t have a 20 month old to raise.”
She now comments about how much more easy-going her daughter is, compared to her son when he was a baby. I tell her, “Well, that’s because baby girl doesn’t have a choice. David had your undivided attention, whereas Hannah doesn’t and never will.”
As I don’t have my own, I do love reading about your (and all my other Bloggy Buddies) experiences. It makes me excited about eventually having my own babies, one day!
I love you and am so happy to experience this with you (even though I’m more on par with your first pregnancy feelings/etc). I love that you will have 2 sweet boys to play and grow together. And I love that you can feel him! xoxo
Thank you for your sweet, true thoughts. Being a mother of only one, I’ve often wondered how everything would go the second time around. I really appreciate hearing how it is effecting you. Thanks!
As a mom of 4 kids…I can totally relate to this. All I did for the nine months of my first pregnancy was plan, plan, plan. I had every detail ready weeks before I was due. By number 4…I had a hard time remembering how many weeks pregnant I was…all I knew was that I was due in October. ha ha
What you said you think/dream about is exactly what I love the most about having more than one child…watching them interact with one another. They are 9, 7, 5 1/2, and 2 and watching them all play together is the best. Blessings on the rest of your pregnancy…:)
Merry Christmas!
Awwww, so happy for you and TC and Hudson! He’ll be a gret big brother.
This post is so sweet. I have a 3 month old, and I always wonder what it will be like the second time around. Right now my days are completely devoted to my sweet little girl, and sometimes it makes me sad that when we have a second, that child will not get the kind of attention my Charlotte is getting. But you are right, just because the situation is different, does not make the teeny, tiny baby part any less special. Thank you for sharing this, and being so honest!
What a great post. I felt the same way and my boys are 2 1/2 and 4 months. They love each other so much already. Jack (2) can get Colin (4 mth) to laugh harder than anyone else. They laugh and laugh together. It is the greatest. You will LOVE it.
Enjoy your Hudson alone time now. It is precious. Your time will be gone with a newborn but it is well worth it and Hudson will love being a brother!
Different isn’t always a bad thing though! And I bet they will be best friends, the new baby will born to parents who are a little more confident in what they’re doing and relaxed, which can be a very good thing:)
I think that is 100% normal! Oh and at 17 weeks yesterday I am pretty sure I felt my little bub move too, so exciting 🙂
Awww…this is a sweet post. I imagine the second time around is different – but like you said – special in it’s own way. 🙂 Baby boy #2 is blessed to have you as a Mommy.
Oh my gosh Erin, I never comment on here (or on your tweets) but I feel the same way!! I am about 4 weeks behind you in my second pregnancy too, and this just registered with me. I feel soooo busy that a lot of times I forget I’m pregnant. Then I get nervous about managing two and staying home and all of that. I’m very excited to feel the baby move and for it to become more “real.” Thanks for sharing!
I’ve read so many posts from other bloggers pregnant with baby #2 and they’ve all said the same thing! Can’t wait to hear the name! Bring on the belly pics, too, please! 🙂
I think a lot of mothers wonder how they can love two children as much as they love one…. it’s simple. But i have a confession, your first will hold a special little place in your heart. You won’t love one more than the other but something about the first….. I just can’t describe it. I’ve got to little boys…. my oldest is 3 yrs and the baby is 9 months. I amazes me I can have two such different personalities. 🙂 Having two little boys rocks!!
You’re just in a different spot in your life and that’s totally ok! I understand about the first baby new-ness. We’re not pregnant with the second yet, but I can totally see how different it will be. It’s not all about YOU and the baby because there’s already another baby to take care of. And that’s so awesome on it’s own. I think it’s so neat that Hudson and his brother will be so close in age – they’ll be best buds for life, which is way more fun to think about than a nursery anyway! I need to check out your archives and see if you did a nursery post – I’m sure you did! I’d love to see it. 🙂
Oh my gosh, that was the most heartfelt post I nearly cried! Your boys are very lucky for a mama like you who has so much love for them.
Congratulations to you and your family again on the new baby boy, Erin!
My second pregnancy was alot like you described… It seemed like I was always too busy running around to stop and think about being pregnant! Along with that, though, you also catch yourself REALLY cherishing those little moments once the baby gets here… Because it is still so fresh on your mind just how fast that time goes!
Your post is dead-on. My second pregnancy (and everything since) was completely different. I felt so guilty because it felt like I didn’t care as much about the second baby, but it’s just that the excitement of the unknown is not there. You know about the birth, the sleepless nights, and all the other realities of babies. But once I saw that baby’s little face I was just as in love as I was with her big brother. Now it’s a good thing that the unknown is gone – I don’t get as upset about schedules, bumps and bruises, and everything else as I did the first time around.
And doing big boy rooms are fun too! Enjoy this pregnancy while you can!
After have 5, I can honestly tell you that each pregnancy was very different and still very special.I use to take a few minutes each day in the shower to rub my belly and concentrate on the baby growing inside me. 🙂
I loved this- I don’t have a baby yet but even just in the “planning and preparation stage” I think it’s so easy to make one thing your whole life- wedding, new house, baby, etc. I think what you wrote is very real and is a good reminder that just because something isn’t your ENTIRE life… doesn’t mean it isn’t a very special and important part of it.
My second pregnancy was very different as well. I worried that I would not be able to love my second child as much as I loved my first child. I worried that I wouldn’t have time for my second child.
Luckily, everything works out. I’m not worried anymore (and they are six and four!).
I’m pregnant with my 2nd and due around the same time as you. And you are right, life goes on. There are hours, lots of hours in a row, that I go without ever thinking of him, because I’m so busy with my toddler daughter. I have gone to a fabric store one time to pick out fabric, and I’m not that wild about it, but it’ll probably be that because I don’t have time to go again! But, we saw his sweet face yesterday and Oh, how I love him so much already! The love is definitely there, and when he gets here, his time will occupy mine just as his sisters does currently, but right now they are safe and satisfied inside us.
Aw, such a sweet post!
Great post, I can’t wait to hear the name, I’m sure it will be terrific!
Erin~ Just wanted to say that I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now, and I LOVE this post. You got it right on the money girl! My second son was born a few days before Hudson, and somehow I found your blog around that time and have been enjoying it since. The words you wrote are beautiful, and I remember having those same feelings when I was pregnant with our second son. And having two boys is WONDERFUL! Now that our boys are 4 and 18 months, oh my…watching them play is like a dream come true. Anyway…keep up the good work and enjoy these special days with Hudson. Afterall, once #2 is here… after a few weeks it will seem like he’s always been a part of your life! Many blessings to your family!
I only have one child, and I’ve always wondered about how it would be to have a second. How would it be the same? How would it be different? I documented everything during my pregnancy and have wondered if I would be able to do the same for my second (when the time comes). I am sure it really is different. You have something else to focus on other than just your growing belly, and a lot of the questions that come with a first pregnancy, I am sure are already answered with the second one. I love how you said instead of day dreaming about holding your little one, you day dream about the relationship he will have with his older brother…I think that is a great way to think about it.
What a sweet time for you.
How cute! I think that’s just the reality of it, you know? It’s not that you are denying this second baby anything, but you’re exactly right about your life just being in a different place right now. Your responsibilities have multiplied…and the newest little boy isn’t even here yet! I like that you’re keeping the name a secret. Both times we were pregnant we didn’t find out the gender, but shared boy and girl names that we liked. Unfortunately for my husband, the boy name is still out there b/c we have 2 gorgeous girls. I told him maybe we could name our next dog Easton. lol.
Don’t feel guilty about the way things are. Boy #2 won’t know any different.
Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and every little kick that comes with it.