While Hudson has been learning and growing and becoming a pretty much amazing little human being, I have been doing some learning and growing of my own. This post is about me.
I have spent the last eighteen months of my life preparing to love and then loving a little person. My flesh and blood. These are the things that stand out about me (some important and heavy and some not at all):
1. I never knew I could love someone so much. Hudson is the joy of my life.
2. I sleep with one eye and one ear completely focused on him. I’m awake after the slightest peep– even when we’re away from him.
3. I miss a lot of the things we used to do before he arrived. Spontaneous trips to the movies or sleeping until 10:00 a.m. on a Saturday stand out the most.
4. I still love pop culture, reality TV, scripted TV, books, music, and clothes.
5. Lately, I’ve tried to watch less and less reality TV. Because I just become obsessed and stressed about it. Why should I let other people’s lives stress me out?
6. I’m constantly thinking about what is best for Hudson and what we can do to make his life better.
huge belly– the day before induction
7. I love my husband more than I ever have. It is such an incredible feeling to go through this process with your best friend.
8. I cannot imagine loving another child as much as I love Hudson.
9. I won’t have to know what that’s like for a while!
10. I want Hudson to be at least 2 years old before there’s another baby. And I want to lose 20 pounds and enjoy being 20 pounds lighter before I even think about gaining 40 pounds of pregnancy weight.
11. I’ve tried to stay the “same old Erin” with a baby as I was before I had a baby. I think this is completely impossible. I can’t go for a night out and just let loose and relax. I’m thinking about my child.
12. But I like to think that I’m still fun.
13. Pregnancy and breast feeding make your hair grow a mile a minute!
14. I appreciate my girlfriends more than ever. There are so many opportunities to make this statement in your life, but when you have kids, your life is about someone else and much less about you. Your girlfriends will always make it about you when so many others make it about the baby. I realize I may sound selfish by saying this, but it’s true. It is so nice to have girls to talk with– and you talk the same way you did with them with a baby as you did when you were 20 years old and staying up until 2 a.m.
15. I can do anything! Your parents always tell you that you can do anything you put your mind to, but it’s true. I am a wimp and I birthed a 9 lb 6 oz baby. I take care of him all day long. I experienced 2.5 months of sleepless nights. I did all of that! I can do anything!
16. “You can fight a bear for a little while.” This is something my grandfather always said to my mom and then she said it to me. It’s so true. You can go through some hard stuff as long as you know it won’t last forever. Sleepless nights don’t last forever. Pain from a tough delivery doesn’t last forever. Feelings of “what am I doing” fade and you become the most knowledgeable person about your child. Mothers know exactly what I’m talking about.
17. This motherhood road that I’m walking down and feeling my way through, is the most exciting, most challenging, and most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.
What an amazing post!!!!! The Tracy T picture of the two of you is just breathtaking. Such great things!
This is a great post and a lot of really simple but meaningful insight into a new mother’s life. Unfortunately – and I hesitate to say this because I of course don’t want any bad blood, & I don’t want it to be taken badly – I find that this post, like others I’ve read on the same topic, only serves to further alienate me from mothers, both those I know in real life & those whose blogs I read. I care, of course, generally about babies & their well-being & am glad there are caring, compassionate mothers out there who are obsessed with their children’s health & happiness. Unfortunately, I guess, that’s just not a place I’m in or am anywhere close to being, & right now, all I see is my friends having kids & becoming completely, entirely different people – with no sense of them appreciating their girlfriends more than ever, unless those girlfriends have kids, too. I cannot understand when people change so dramatically, so drastically, so suddenly. I guess it’s one of those things that a mother would say, “When you’re a mother, you’ll understand” to, but… I’m tired of moms being some weird special club that seems to alienate – willingly – all women who aren’t yet mothers or who maybe don’t ever intend to be.
I hope this doesn’t come off terribly mean or rude. I really do like the post & enjoy reading your blog. I wouldn’t have written this comment if I didn’t think that you would somehow understand it & not take offense to it; I don’t say it to offend. Just something to think about, I guess, a different perspective from a reader.
Anyway – nice post, keep it up, Hudson is the cutest. 🙂
Love this post. Its glad to see a post about you 🙂 Love the pics too. You were too cute preggers. Hudson is a doll and I love that outfit he has for his dedication. Where did you find it?
I mean I am glad to see a post about you, not its glad. LOL
Love this! You are awesome!
I love your grandfather’s quote! It’s so true and something you forget when you are in the middle of your troubles. Your list shows that you have so much to be proud of, oh and that you were a cute pregnant lady!
wonderful post!!
Erin you truly were the cutest pregnant woman! I remember seeing these photos and praying that I can carry it as well as you do. I haven’t read the post yet, but I saw the first photo and had to post this comment. = )
love this post, esp. the part about fighting a bear for a little while:) so true!!
I’m coming out of hiatus to tell you that this post made me smile HUGE!!!
I love you. SO MUCH!!
I really enjoyed this post and love the quote from your grandfather. As a first time mom, I really related to this post in so many ways and it really made me think about just how I have grown over the past year. Thanks for sharing!
This is wonderful post! I also enjoyed the quote from your grandfather!
Uh-oh…typo! I need to add an ‘a’ into the above comment! 🙂
You were so cute pregnant 🙂 And little Hudson is adorable!
“You can fight a bear for a little while”- I love that quote- and never heard it before!
For what it’s worth, I think you look beautiful.
Your pretty much adorable. For real. You are such a super cute mom and I just love Hudson! I know I hardly comment…but I always read!
What an amazing amazing amazing post!! I feel the same way about cate!! You are a wonderful, beautiful and amazing mother!!! Love you!! Love this post
I am up with my 3rd child tonight. She is only 2 weeks old and I am wondering how I will make it through the sleepless nights. I am wondering how I made it through with the other two…and thinking we are done with 3. However, it was encouraging to read your post about being able to do anything, survive and forget the painful parts.
I love your last three points. I’ll have to remember your grandfather’s quote next time we have a newborn in the house :). In fact, I seriously just wrote it down!
As for the long comment above- it works both ways. As a new mother I’ve felt alienated from my friends who do not have kids. When you have a baby, you get thrown into a world you never could have imagined. The life that was yours the day before you gave birth is forever changed the day after, and you find yourself on an alien landscape with no compass. It’s a wonderful experience but also a very difficult one at first, and this post reflects pride at getting through that transition and finding level ground 🙂
What a beautiful post friend! You are such a beautiful person, inside and out, and this post just confirms that!
Amen! #16 was my favorite:)
I am a always-reader, sometimes commenter. As I was reading this post, I just kept thinking, yep, this is one I will comment on because the things you were saying are definitely things that I have thought, said, screamed at the top of my lungs 😉 It is always nice to be reminded that everyone goes through it and we are ALL surviving and even thriving! Isn’t it amazing how much better we get at this as time goes on? My daughter, Parker, is 11 months old now and I cannot believe how far she, my husband and I have come in that period of time! I also am SO impressed with the commenter above, who didn’t really get this post. I know we have all dealt with the ugly blog world, where people don’t like something we say, do or feel and then decide to leave some nasty anonymous post, feeling brave behind the anonymous shadow. I LOVE that this young lady decided that she wanted to politely, respectfully and kindly disagree. Bravo, Suburban Sweetheart for being a really nice reminder that the blog world can be a great place for women who appreciate other women for who they are!! Sorry that got so long , a lot to say this morning:)
I totally agree about everything you’ve said…I’m such a different person, but I’m still the same. When I’m away from my child, I worry and think about him constantly. It’s SO crazy! I wouldn’t trade it for anything though!
What a fantastic post!
You are so pretty, friend! How do you look so cute after giving birth to a GIANT baby? Such a great post- especially helps with understanding all my IRL friends who recently had babies or are preggers (which is all of them-eek!).
I LOVE this. It made me smile so much!! You are such an inspiration to young women and you radiate positive energy at all times. I am getting married in September and I pray that you are still blogging when I start having little ones!!!
Like so many others, I really enjoyed this post. You are so exactly right. I feel the same way. Okay, onto the pictures — you were so cute when you were pregnant with your little belly and I am so jealous of your gorgeous hair!
the photo of you and Hudson, by Tracy is truly amazing… This post is precious.. thanks for sharing!
I’m in love with the last photo! You’re both looking oh so cute!
What a great post! Loved reading about your life with a child!
So many mom’s spend so much time talking about how their baby is doing and what challenges they might have with teaching and watching them grow. This post is that a so much more. It focuses on you and you with your family and how your family has let you grow and change yourself. It’s sort of refreshing to hear about you. You’ve delievered it in a way that reminds me of your posts, pre-Hudson.
You are a great mom and we love to hear about how your family is doing but this post stands out.
Thanks for this post, we’ve missed you!! 🙂
Have a great weekend!
What a great post. As a mom, I struggle with the same things. I think I miss the spontaneity that I used to have. As you know, there’s no jumping in the car to grab a carton of milk. There’s no saying, “Honey, let’s go see a movie.” But like you, I wouldn’t trade motherhood for anything in the world. I never knew my heart was capable of so much love. I feel blessed and honored that God chose me to be a mother. I appreciate your honesty so much!
I *really* loved this post, Erin! It’s always so refreshing to hear your point of view on motherhood at this age, I really appreciate what you have to say! and so fun to see all those pictures of you and the BEBaby… And can I just say that the little gap between his 2 front teeth completely melts my heart?!?! He is a complete muffin!
xoxo,
Lulu
Wow. I loved this post. I always love reading your thoughts on motherhood and this huge life change that you went (and are still going) through.
love this post!!!
you were adorable pregnant :o)
What a great post! Thanks for being so honest! PS you look great in that purple color!
I love this post!!! You are absolutely beautiful and Hudson is so lucky to have you as his mommy!!! XOXO
Love this. I could literally say DITTO to almost every single one. It’s so fun for me to read other “boy mom” blogs because I do feel like there is such a difference in baby boys and baby girls, equally as amazing, precious and perfect– but different. You are an INCREDIBLE mommy, and I know that Hudson is one blessed boy to be raised by beautiful YOU!
What a heartfelt post! I loved all the pics! Hudson is so blessed to have a mom that adores him like you do!
I love this post! I don’t have any kids yet but I feel like I get a glmpse of how wonderful it is by readnig your blog. Cute pictures as well!
This is such a sweet post! I love your blog and really enjoy reading your posts!
This is such a sweet post. You make motherhood sound so wonderful, without being all fluffy and unrealistic. It’s not perfect, but it’s beautiful.
I love this post! I agree with you on so many of these. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love my son. I did not comprehend that level of love before I had him. It has also taken my relationship with my husband to a whole new level. I have such a hard time watching reality TV or even the news now. There is a big scary world out there that I feel like I have to protect my family from. Sometimes it overwhelms me, but I know that I can handle it.
P.S. Love your maternity seven jeans. I had a pair of citizens that I wore during my pregnancy and I loved them. And I still wore them for a while after. Ha!
I LOVED this post! So often we hear so much about how the babies are doing, but not what a huge transformation it is to become a mother. I love how you wrote this. About you trying to be the same Erin, but you’re just not quite. Sounds completely normal to me. I’m struggling right now with who I become when my daughter gets here, but I’m sure it’s going to turn into a natural transition. I sure hope so anyway!
I forgot how adorable you were pregnant! You sure you gained 40 pounds?!?
LOVE that quote your grandfather said! Such a great life perspective. Sweet, sweet post, Erin!
Such a sweet post! That last pic makes me want to see my nephew RIGHT now! I’m on my way home to Greenville after work to do just that!
This is one of my favorite posts! I just had a little boy three months ago and can relate to every item you’ve listed. I really love your grandfather’s quote. I kept reminding myself when we were dealing with colic, that it wouldn’t last forever. He got over colic just two weeks ago, but it feels like a lifetime ago. Babies grow and change so quickly. . .I’m trying to hold on to every precious moment.
Awesome post, and great pictures! You are such a pretty pregnant woman!
I loved this post…I’m obviously not a mom yet, but I very much hope to be in the next few years and I so appreciate these glimpses into motherhood. You were an adorable pregnant woman- somehow I don’t think I will carry it as well but you look beautiful! Thanks for sharing, Erin!
I love this! It’s so inspiring, in a way. The way you love Hudson is so special. There are mothers out there who don’t show their children the kind of love they need (I may or may not be speaking of my stepkids’ mom), so seeing your love for him being so huge is refreshing! He is so adorable and lucky to have you and your hubby as parents. Oh, and since I’m a photographer, I just have to say this…the Tracy Turpen photo is beautiful, but when I first looked, I thought Hudson was wearing socks..but it seems like she just burned the edges a little too much down there..then, they just looked odd. Not judging, just an observation. And I love your hair in that photo, too. Ok, I’m done now. 🙂
Could you be any cuter? and could Hudson be any cuter?
Love you both!
Such a beautiful post from a lovely person.
Lovely, lovely, lovely. You remain an inspiration, as does your grandmother with that wise quote.
So, I can’t remember if I’ve commented on this post..because I first read it from my phone..but I just love it! 🙂 Precious pics and so sweet!
you are such a good Mommy!!! and gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous 😉
I love your blog. Its always my must read. You made me feel better that there is an end in sight to sleeping through the night! Do you have any tips that worked with Hudson? I cant believe how big he has gotten since I became a follower!